Cynthia sat in a lawn chair, having steadfastly refused to leave. She had attempted to enter the house earlier in search of Jackson, and Casey had nearly had to restrain her. Finally, not wanting Cynthia to intrude upon what she believed to be a much-needed private moment for Jackson and Kendall, Casey had locked the back door to keep Cynthia at bay.
Cynthia now sat with her hands clenching the arms of her chair, eyeing Jackson with an expression that could only be construed as jealous suspicion and hostility. Kendall caught the look on Cynthia’s face and felt somewhat embarrassed, as well as a certain amount of fear for any retaliation Cynthia might inflict upon Jackson. Kendall, still limping slightly from that afternoon’s injury, moved to begin clearing tables in an attempt to distance herself from Jackson and hopefully diminish Cynthia’s seething fury. Kendall’s fears were soon realized, however, as Cynthia rose from her chair and approached Jackson as he stood talking to the last of the departing guests.
“I need to talk to you, Jackson,” Cynthia said between clenched teeth.
“This isn’t a good time, Cynthia,” he said without looking at her. He waved a goodbye at Howard and Darlene Griffin as they drove out of the yard down the long gravel road.
“Well, this will just have to be a good time, because I’m not leaving until we talk.”
Jackson turned to look at her then and ran a hand through his hair. “We’ll talk some other time,” he said in a low voice. “It’s late and the party is over.”
“You think you can dismiss me that easily?” Cynthia’s voice rose to a nearly ear-splitting crescendo. “I think I may be pregnant, Jackson!”
Casey and Kendall, both bent over tables picking up dishes and cups, immediately straightened and stood staring agape at Cynthia’s declaration. Kendall felt as though her insides were falling out. Jackson seemed frozen, looking at Cynthia as though she were an alien who had just landed in his backyard. He soon recovered and turned his head in a frantic search for Kendall. He finally spotted her standing at the table, the look on her face an obviously pained and confused one. He gazed at her for a moment with what seemed like an apologetic pleading, before he turned back to Cynthia and said in a low voice, “Why are you telling me this now? We haven’t slept together in nearly five months. If you really are pregnant, and I’m not so sure you are, why wouldn’t you have come to me long before this?”
“Oh, Jackson, you really don’t understand anything about pregnancy, do you?” Cynthia continued, speaking in a loud voice. Jackson grabbed her hand and began leading her toward the barn as he whispered between
clenched teeth, “Could you please keep your voice down?” “Why?” Cynthia responded mockingly. “I have nothing to hide from your family.” They reached the barn door and Jackson slid it open, then closed it behind them as they entered the
dark interior. He felt for the switch on the beam beside the door and turned on the overhead fluorescent light. He stood facing her and his breath came out in a rush, as if he had been holding it in all the way across the yard. “What are you up to, Cynthia?”
“What am I up to? What kind of thing is that to say to me when I’ve just told you I think I’m pregnant, that you may be a father in a few more months.”
“That’s interesting. I’m going to be a father in just a few more months, and you thought you’d just pop this on me now. Why is that?” Jackson inquired sarcastically, still trying to maintain some semblance of calm.
“Because I wanted to be s-sure,” Cynthia stammered. “And you’re sure now? When did you become so sure of this?” “Yesterday. I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. I also took one about three months ago,
but it was negative, so I didn’t say anything. I thought maybe I was just having problems with my period. But after missing so many periods, I knew something wasn’t right, so I took another test, and the rest is history.” Cynthia glared up at him. “What are you going to do about this?”
Jackson ignored her question. “Have you seen a doctor?” “No, I wanted to take the pregnancy test first.” “How come you’re not showing if you’re nearly five months pregnant?” “That’s not so unusual. I had a cousin who didn’t show until she was six months along.” Cynthia
put her hands on her hips and hissed at him, “Why are you giving me the third degree? We had sex, I’m pregnant, you’re the father. Pretty simple equation.” Jackson began pacing the hard dirt floor, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He stopped and turned to look at Cynthia. “This doesn’t make sense. We used protection every time.” “We?” Cynthia laughed at him.
“Okay, I used protection in the beginning and then you were on birth control the last couple of times. Or were you lying about that?”
“How dare you? These things happen, you know. Nothing is foolproof.” Cynthia breathed in deeply, then slowly walked over and placed a hand on Jackson’s arm, her mood becoming decidedly more agreeable. She spoke softly to him now, running her hand down the sleeve of his shirt. “I know it’s a shock to you. It was a shock to me, too. But everything will work out. You’ll see. Long after we’re married and the little one is running around in the yard, we’ll look back on this day and laugh at how scary it seemed to us.”
The spit seemed to disappear from Jackson’s mouth. He tried to swallow, but the dryness left an ache in his throat. “Married?” He looked at Cynthia incredulously.
“You do want to marry me, don’t you? You wouldn’t abandon your own child, would you?”
“Of course not,” Jackson responded, then looked away in silence.
“Exactly which question are you answering?” Cynthia leered at him.
“Both of them,” Jackson mumbled as he began pacing again, pressing his forehead into his palms.
“How dare you? I’m good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to marry. Is that what you’re saying?”
“That’s not it, Cynthia. We had a brief affair that ended five months ago. We don’t love each other. Why would you want to get married?”
“In time, I’m sure we would come to love each other. Besides, I want my child to be part of a family with a full time father, not one who just comes to visit.”
“Well, I agree with you there. I don’t want a child of mine raised like that, either. So we’ll take first things first. You make an appointment with the doctor, let me know when it is, and we’ll go together.”
“That’s not necessary. I can go to the doctor by myself.”
“Oh, it’s necessary, all right. I want to hear it straight from the doctor’s mouth that you’re five months pregnant.”
“You don’t believe me, do you?” Cynthia looked at him with an expression of both fear and indignation.
“Truthfully? No, I don’t.” Jackson opened the barn door and stood waiting for Cynthia to exit.
She walked by him with her head down and headed toward her car. She stopped and turned to look back at him, and when she raised her head, there were tears in her eyes. “I can’t believe you reacted like this. I care about you, Jackson, and I care about this baby. I would never lie to you about something like that.”
Jackson swallowed hard, unsure now of whether she was telling the truth. It didn’t seem likely that he could be the father of this baby, if indeed there was a baby, but he also knew that it wasn’t entirely impossible. “Don’t forget to let me know when you make the doctor’s appointment,” he called, then turned and headed back to the house.
Cynthia climbed into her car and slammed the door. She sat for only a few moments before she started the engine. With now dry, angry eyes, she watched Jackson as he opened the screen door to the back porch and went inside. Cynthia put the car into gear and spun around in a half-circle, bits of gravel spitting into the air as she accelerated and sped toward the highway.
***
Jackson found the three of them in the kitchen, still washing dishes and putting away leftovers from the party. Kendall avoided his glance as she hurried over to the refrigerator with a bowl
of potato salad. Casey gazed up at him with sad eyes as she stood by the sink drying a dish. Tom attempted to offer a look of support, then turned and plunged his hands back into the sudsy dishwater.
Jackson walked over to Kendall at the refrigerator. “I need to talk to you,” he said, slightly above a whisper.
Kendall nearly jumped as he approached her. “We’re not nearly through here.” She closed the refrigerator and returned to the table and rolled out tin foil.
Jackson didn’t move, only stood watching her, the sadness roiling up in the pit of his stomach.
Casey held the same dish in her hand, unconsciously wiping it over and over. “It’s okay,” she said to Kendall. “Tom and I will finish up here. You go ahead.”
Without a word, Kendall dropped the tin foil on the kitchen table and walked out of the room. Jackson silently followed her down the back hall and into her bedroom. He closed the door behind them.
She stood next to the bed, holding onto the post, not wanting to sit down. She raised her head to look at him, then said with a quivering voice, “You got right out of her bed and came to mine?”
Jackson blinked slowly as he gazed at her with a beseeching look. “Please tell me you don’t really believe that,” he whispered hoarsely.
Kendall’s shoulders crumpled as she gave in and sat down on the bed, her gaze lowered to her hands as she twisted them in her lap. “No,” she answered quietly as she shook her head. “I guess I don’t. At least I don’t want to believe it.”
Jackson sat on the bed next to her, staring straight ahead. “I haven’t slept with her in months.”
Kendall forced a small laugh. “Well, was it more than nine?”
“Unfortunately, no. It was five.”
Kendall’s head snapped around as she stared at Jackson. “You haven’t slept with her in five months and she’s just now telling you she’s pregnant? Don’t you think that’s a bit odd?”
“Of course, I do. I don’t think she’s telling the truth, but I can’t deny the possibility is there that she could be telling the truth. I told her to make an appointment with the doctor and I’m going to go with her. To be sure.”
“To be sure.” Kendall took a deep breath, then let it out slowly as she turned her head away. “Seems like there were a million reasons that should have prevented us from sleeping together, if we’d paid any attention to them.” She laughed sardonically, the sound catching in her throat. “You might be a father soon, I’ve got a husband out there and who knows what else. So what’s the sensible thing for us to do? Have sex, of course.”
“Don’t make what we did sound careless or cavalier. Kendall, I never would have made love to you if I thought for one second there was anything left unsaid between Cynthia and me. As far as I was concerned, it was all over between us, has been for months now.”
“Well, it really doesn’t matter now, does it?”
“What do you mean?”
Kendall looked up at him as he sat beside her. She touched his face with her fingertips and smiled sadly. “When we made love, we both knew it was what we needed from each other at that moment. I’ll be leaving here soon, anyway, Jackson. And now you have a responsibility you have to take care of. So if Cynthia’s pulling this pregnancy thing on you to try and get rid of me, she’s wasting her time. After I’m gone, I’m sure you’ll work it out.”
He swallowed hard and took her hand in his. “Don’t start that again. This is not a good time for you to leave, and you know it.” He paused. “You can’t leave.”
“Why not?” Kendall asked and held her breath. She had to leave. There was no denying that. She knew when she made love to him that she would be leaving soon. She wasn’t going to stay here and bring harm to anyone. But she wanted to hear something, anything from him that would make her want to return to him one day. She could live through Cynthia’s manipulations and anything else that was thrown at her if she thought Jackson needed her, wanted her. “Why can’t I leave?” she repeated.
“Because I,” he hesitated, looked away, then looked back at her. “Because it’s not safe. Because Casey needs you. We’ve been over this,” he said quietly.
Casey. It was always Casey who needed her to stay. Never Jackson. “I didn’t say I was leaving right away,” Kendall said, then added in a hushed tone, “But soon.”
“Don’t let this thing with Cynthia make you do something impulsive.”
“Oh, it isn’t because of Cynthia.” Kendall had to look away before she could continue. “It’s not like there’s anything serious between you and me,” she lied. She wanted to scream at him, Why can’t you
be the one who needs me, instead of always saying it’s Casey? I love you, dammit! Why can’t you see that? Why doesn’t it matter to you? Instead, she continued with the lie, “And I have a life I’m anxious to resolve. I have a h-husband.” She could hardly get the words out.
“A husband who may have been physically violent with you.”
“I only had one memory of that and I’m not even sure it was a memory of my husband.”
“And we don’t even know who’s here asking about you.”
Kendall laughed. “For all we know, that could be another of Cynthia’s manipulations. No one else has mentioned a strange man asking questions about me.”
“That may be true, but we don’t know that for sure. Don’t even think of leaving until we know more, okay? Okay?”
“Sure,” Kendall said and smiled at him. “I’ll sit still for awhile.” She didn’t want to tell him what her definition of ‘awhile’ was. It was better that he not know. She couldn’t allow him to continue worrying about her safety every day, as she also worried about his. And Casey’s and Tom’s. Kendall didn’t know for sure now whether or not there truly was a strange man lurking about asking questions regarding her daily habits. Cynthia was obviously capable of pulling any trick in order to get her out of Jackson’s life.
But if there were even a possibility that what Cynthia was saying was true, Kendall needed to get as far away from here as possible. She knew from her memories that she had been involved in some sort of trouble involving a lot of money, and there were two men who obviously had a vested interest in it. She wasn’t sure what sort of sinister evil was likely to propel itself from her past, but whatever it was, she didn’t want it landing on the Coley’s doorstep. She rose from the bed then and looked down at him still sitting quietly, staring ahead, his face bearing an expression of sadness, as if he were lost in some desolate thought.
“Hey,” Kendall called to him as she backed out of the bedroom, smiling. “I’m beginning to think Cynthia made the whole thing up about this man looking for me. But I won’t leave right away if that’s what Casey wants,” she lied. She stopped in the doorway before adding, “And Jackson, you’ve got way too much on your mind now to be worrying about me. You’re looking too frustrated these days. I think you need another visit to the pond soon.” She forced as broad a smile as she could manage.
He looked over at her then, and she thought she saw the glimmer of dampness in his eyes as she turned and headed down the hall to the kitchen.
Chapter 17
>Kendall sat at the desk in the small niche of her bedroom, the banker’s lamp illuminating the marble writing surface with a dim, eerie glow. She returned the pen to the center drawer and folded the stationery neatly. She opened the letter again and read what she had just written, wanting to be sure there would be no misunderstanding.
Dear Casey, Tom, and Jackson,
I know this letter falls short in expressing how much all of you mean to me. I would rather have said these things to you in person, but I felt it was best this way. My leaving the house in the middle of the night doesn’t mean I don’t care enough to face all of you. It’s just that I care too much about you to risk your convincing me to stay again.
Please understand that I’m doing what I feel is the right thing and the safest. You are all very special people, and I will never forget what you have don
e for me. I’ll never be able to repay your kindness, but I at least intend to return the money you’ve spent on my enormous medical expenses. I’ve also taken the three paychecks with me. As soon as I’m on my feet, I’ll start sending what I can in repayment for all of it. I just can’t accept that kind of money from you.
Casey, no matter who lives in my past or becomes my future, you will always be a sister in my heart. You will never know how much I appreciate the comfort and support all of you have so selflessly given me.
Please don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine, and I’ll keep in touch. Love, Kendall
Kendall re-folded the letter and slid it into an envelope, then propped it against the lamp. She checked the clock on the bedside table. Twelve fifty-five a.m. Cynthia would be here any minute now. Kendall grabbed the knapsack stuffed with extra jeans, tee shirts, underthings and toiletries. These would have to do for now. She opened the bedside drawer, removed the paychecks Jackson had given her, put them into the zippered pocket of the knapsack, then walked back to the desk and turned off the lamp.
She walked slowly and carefully to the bedroom door that opened onto the front hallway, her eyes gradually adjusting to the darkness. Quietly she opened the door and stepped out. Her heart was beating so wildly, it felt as though it were thumping against her chest and making noises that could be heard throughout the house. She paused briefly to quell her erratic heart and slow her breathing. She looked to her right and was relieved to see that the front porch light was still on, its beam casting feathery sparkles of light through the etched glass at both sides of the door.
Kendall tiptoed down the hall and as she reached the front door, she turned around to look once more at the special place she had called her home, the only home she had any memory of. She thought of Casey and Tom and how much she would miss them. She carefully turned the deadbolt back and thoughts of Jackson exploded within her. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, fighting back the tears, then reached for the doorknob.
Jones, Beverly R Page 21
