by Linda Warren
“It was an emergency, Abs. Dad called early and wanted to go over some details about the bank before he and Mother went on vacation. You know how he is. He expects me to drop everything when he calls and if I don’t, he’ll call Robert.”
“And your brother will take over your job.”
“Yes.”
“Doug, ever since I’ve known you he’s held that threat over your head.”
“I can’t let my younger brother take over. I’m the oldest and next in line for my dad’s job.”
“When you don’t show up to collect Chloe, have you ever thought about how it affects her? She’s all packed and has her doll and books ready to visit Daddy. Then I have to tell her you’re not coming and scramble around to find someone to keep her. Her little world is turned upside down once again.”
“I’m sorry.” He winced. “Dad keeps me wound up.”
“Maybe it’s time to grow up and tell your father that it’s your weekend with your daughter. Your responsibility for Chloe should come first.”
“I...”
“Please,” she said as she sighed, “I’m tired and I don’t have the energy to have this conversation. But as soon as I’m better I’m hiring another lawyer, and if you miss your times with Chloe, I will be filing for full custody.”
“Abby.” He ran a hand through his professionally highlighted blond hair. “I will do better. I promise.”
“You will do it or you will lose custody of your child. I promise you that.” She didn’t know if she could fight and win against the Baumans’ powerful attorneys, but she would do her best. If the horror she’d lived through had taught her anything, it was that she was strong. And she wasn’t putting up with any more crap from Doug.
“All I want is for us to be a family again. If only you’d give me a second chance.”
She closed her eyes and felt her strength draining away. “I can’t do this now.”
“I know, honey. Just get some rest. We’ll talk when you’re better.”
Through her exhaustion her talks with Ethan surfaced and she had to tell Doug one important thing. Her emotional health depended on it. “Doug, I’m not angry with you anymore for destroying our marriage.”
Hope brightened his eyes and she hated that.
“I was at fault, too, and I don’t know if there is a way for us to go back to the way we were in the beginning.” She didn’t even know if reconciliation was what she wanted now, especially after knowing Ethan. But she’d promised Ethan she’d sort out her defunct marriage. It was the only way to move forward.
“No, Abby, it was all me.” Doug tried to take all the blame. “You were the perfect wife.”
She wanted to laugh. She was nowhere near perfect in their marriage bed. For some reason unknown to her she’d never allowed herself to experience a kaleidoscope of sensual pleasures as she had with Ethan. There was no holding back. Just giving and taking until there was nothing left but two people needing each other the way lovers should. The way married couples should.
“We’ll talk later” was all she could manage.
“Don’t worry about Chloe. I’ll hire a nanny for her.”
“No, please, I’d rather she stayed with Dad and Gayle. She’s comfortable around them and a stranger would be unsettling for her.”
“Whatever you think, honey.”
Don’t call me honey. Resentment flashed inside her at his audacity, but she let it pass.
He leaned over to kiss her and she drew away. “Don’t kiss me. We’re not even close to that point yet.” Even a robbery and a fire hadn’t changed her mind-set.
“But we will be,” he said with confidence, and walked out the door.
Her hand went to her dry lips covered in ointment. She couldn’t imagine anyone’s lips touching hers but Ethan’s. She was clinging to Ethan with everything in her. He was safe, secure; no one and nothing could harm her as long as he was around. But her emotions went deeper than that—all the way to her heart.
Those feelings wouldn’t last, though. She was aware of that. When she was stronger, they would fade away. If she told herself that long enough, she would soon believe it.
Almost.
* * *
ON THE SECOND day, the redness and pain on Ethan’s back and calves became severe. Blisters popped out across his shoulders. The doctor said it was to be expected. Ethan said curse words that he told his dad not to use around Kelsey, but it was the only way to get the frustration out of his system. Instead of going home to help nail the third person involved in the robbery, he had to stay in the hospital a few more days. At least until he could get clothes on his body. All he could wear were hospital-issued loose-fitting boxers, and he didn’t think his lieutenant would allow him in the station that way.
He was still on an IV and taking liquids by mouth. He had soft foods for lunch, but he didn’t have much of an appetite. In the late afternoon a male therapist got him up, and he walked around the room. At first he felt dizzy, but soon he had the hang of it again. Every muscle in his body screamed. He ignored the pain and soreness and kept walking.
By the end of the week, he was off the IV and eating solid foods. He refused more pain injections and would rely on pills if he needed anything. He had to tough it out so he could get back to work and to his daughter.
He was able to sit now, but it hurt to put any pressure on his back or calves. Abby was doing fine and going home, he was told. He wanted to see her one last time, but he resisted the urge to reach out to her. It was better to make a clean break. The two days they’d spent together was a time out of time they would remember forever.
Conflicting thoughts warred inside him, though. He’d protected her just as he was sworn to do. But he’d also crossed so far over the ethics line he couldn’t even see it anymore. He now realized there were two Ethan Jameses—the man and the cop. The night on the porch of the deer cabin, the man had been in complete control. And Ethan the cop was feeling all the guilt.
He sat on the side of the bed, careful not to let his calves touch it. He had thought Abby would come to say goodbye. But what would that accomplish? He’d just told himself they needed to make a clean break. What was happening to him? He wasn’t a sentimental guy, clinging to fairy tales like Abby. He was a hard-nosed, badass cop and a night with Abby wasn’t going to change that.
He would miss her, though—this was all the sentiment he’d allow himself.
Something caught his attention and he glanced toward the door. Abby stood there. His heart took off like a thoroughbred racehorse galloping at full speed. She wore white shorts, a blue tank top and flip-flops. Her blond hair was clipped back, clean and inviting, as was her face. He hardly noticed her red, peeling skin. She was beautiful.
“May I come in?” she asked.
“Sure.”
“How are you?”
“Better.”
“They said you have second-degree burns, but you’re red like me, except for the beard.”
He gingerly rubbed it. “I can’t shave until the burn clears up. It would irritate the skin more.”
She shifted from one foot to the other. “Uh...you seem like a stranger.”
“I am a stranger.”
She stepped closer to him and the scent of honeysuckle reached him. “You’ll never be a stranger to me, Ethan.”
For a moment there was an awkward silence as they grappled with the aftereffects of what they’d been through. And all the heartfelt emotions they’d shared.
He watched the hand of the big clock on the wall tick off seconds. What could he say to her that wouldn’t hurt her feelings?
She cleared her throat. “Why did they say you were severely burned?”
“It’s my back and my calves. They received the force of the heat.”
She leaned over to
look and gasped. “Oh, Ethan. Is it painful?”
“Not too much.” Of course, he lied.
She waved toward the bed. “Do you mind if I sit?”
“No.” Yes. She was fresh and inviting like a new spring day with the sun shining and flowers blooming. Was it him thinking that?
She sat next to him and he wanted to scoot over. She was too close for his guilty cop conscience.
“I didn’t know you were going to cover my body like that.”
“There wasn’t time to consult. I’m much tougher than you.”
“Oh, really?” She glanced at him with a lifted eyebrow and he glimpsed the spunkiness he’d first witnessed in her. From her calm demeanor he’d feared the robbery and the fire had altered her personality. He was glad to see it hadn’t.
“Yes, really,” he countered.
“I should be mad at you.”
“But you’re not?”
“No. It’s hard to be mad at someone who risked his life for mine.”
“I was trained to protect—in the Marines and as a cop. It’s just a natural instinct.”
“Well, you’ll pardon me if I see it as heroic.”
“I’m not a hero.”
“You are to me.”
“Abby...”
The hurt in her baby blues stopped him. That look could stop a Mack truck.
“I know what you’re thinking.”
He sighed. “You don’t know what I’m thinking.”
She cocked her head. “How’s this? She’s getting personal and I don’t do personal or clingy or needy. I was doing my job and I wished she’d understand that.” An eyebrow arched high, daring him to refute it.
And he couldn’t. Maybe she could read his mind. Nah. She’d be blushing now if she could. She was just a damn good guesser.
“Close,” he admitted to the gleam in her eyes.
She coughed and couldn’t seem to stop. “I’m...sorry.” She took a deep breath. “I’m still coughing a lot, but the doctor said my lungs are much better. I’m taking breathing treatments and have to continue those for a while. How about you?”
“Twice a day and sometimes more.”
“It’s not too bad, is it? Considering we escaped with our lives.”
“We were incredibly lucky.”
She picked at a piece of peeled skin on her forearm. “When I heard the roar and felt the intense heat, I knew we were as good as dead.” She drew in deeply. “That’s why I wanted you to know how I felt.”
“Abby...”
She looked into his eyes and smiled. “I can see a big ol’ traffic light in your eyes. It’s red and blinking a warning.”
“It’s a caution sign.”
“Oh.”
“What you were feeling was gratitude, Abby.”
“I know, but the emotions were very real at the time.”
There was an awkward pause for a second and he thought it best not to dwell on what they’d felt at that moment.
“Do you know our daughters met?” she asked rather hurriedly.
“No.”
“Chloe said she’s not talking to Kelsey again.”
“Why?”
“Kelsey called her a twerp.”
“I’m sorry. Kelsey’s not people-friendly.”
“Mmm. With the big age difference I thought it was odd for them not to get along. Usually a twelve-year-old likes to mother a three-year-old.”
“Kelsey’s not the mothering type.”
“So I gather. I guess they had the same negative reaction we did when we first met. And for the record, I’m still not fixing your bumper.”
“Noted.” No one was touching that bumper now. It would stand as a reminder of the time he’d known Abby Bauman—intimately. He coughed and cleared his throat. “Did you talk to the detectives?”
“Yes. I told them everything that had happened and signed a statement. They were very inquisitive about the third person, but I didn’t have any answers.”
“They’ll get to the bottom of it. Rudy and Devon will eventually talk, especially to avoid a murder charge.”
She frowned. “Murder?”
No one had told her about Mr. Harmon. Damn! He couldn’t keep it from her. She’d find out eventually. There was no easy way to say it. “Um...Mr. Harmon died.”
“Oh, no.” Her eyes filled with tears. “He was such a sweet man. He could have fired me at least ten times for being late, but he never did. He was considerate of my situation.” She hiccupped.
He did the only thing he could. He put his arm around her shoulders. She laid her soft, warm cheek against his hot, bare chest, which generated heat of another kind and reminded him of touching her soft supple skin in the dark of night.
“He was retiring and couldn’t wait to move closer to his daughter, who lives in Florida. He’d found a nice retirement villa about a mile from her house and he’d be there for the birth of his oldest granddaughter’s first child. Those hoods took that away from him.” She raised her head, her watery eyes flashing. “I hope they put them away for life.”
“They’ll get the max,” he assured her.
She brushed away tears with the back of her hand. “I better go. My friend Holly is waiting to drive me to my dad’s. I agreed to stay there for a few days until I’m stronger.”
“That’s probably wise.”
“I did what you suggested.”
“What was that?”
She ran the palm of her hands down her thighs. “I made an effort to be nice to Gayle and it was amazing. It was like watering a wilted flower. Gayle perked up immediately. I wish I had reached out to her sooner. Life is too short to live with hostility.”
“And it will make your dad’s life so much easier.”
“Yes. I never thought of that before. All I could see was my own selfish feelings.” She glanced at him. “You could be a therapist.”
“As I recall, when I mentioned those things you weren’t too happy.”
“No one likes to see their faults pointed out by a big ol’ tough guy.” She held up a hand as he started to answer. “I even talked to Doug without all the anger.”
“You did?” That didn’t make him happy but it should. He’d told her to sort out her marriage.
“I don’t know if there’s anything left of my marriage or if I can truly ever forgive him, but we’re talking. I’m not filled with rage anymore at what he did to our lives. Surviving death, I somehow lost all that righteous indignation and I have to admit I was partly to blame, too. But I know with certainty that I’m not the cold mannequin he called me. I can respond passionately and without inhibitions.”
He wasn’t sure how to respond to that so he didn’t.
“I have so much to thank you for, but a thank-you just doesn’t seem enough.”
“It is. Be happy, Abby. You deserve it.”
“I better go.”
But she didn’t move. “Something wrong?”
“Yes.” She clenched her hands. “I’m scared to death of leaving this hospital. If I close my eyes, I can feel the cold steel of the gun pressed against my temple, the suffocating heat and the intensity of the fire. In here it’s safe. Out there, it’s a brutal world.”
“As you grow stronger, you’ll overcome that feeling. We would never have survived if you were a weak person. Feel the fear and let it go. Promise me you won’t let it get you down.”
She stood. “I won’t.” Leaning over, she kissed his cheek and rubbed gently across his bearded skin with her thumb. His breath stalled in his throat and he wanted to catch her hand and never let go. “Goodbye, Ethan.” She stared into his eyes for an eternity and then walked out.
Goodbye, Abby.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
HOLLY TALKED ALL the way to Austin and Abby listened with half a mind. With each mile away from Ethan, she felt more alone and afraid. She had the same debilitating feeling she’d had when her mom had died. Her mother had been her security blanket and Abby didn’t know what to do without her but cry. With the help of her father she’d gotten through it and moved on.
But now...how did she get over Ethan? And the safety and security she felt with him? How did she stop being afraid?
“You’re very quiet,” Holly said.
“I’m just tired.”
“I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through. All your friends have been praying and thinking about you.”
“Thanks.”
“And, thank God, you had Ethan James with you.”
She turned to look at her friend. “You know Ethan?”
“I know of him. He, Ross Logan and Levi Coyote are well-known cops for getting the job done—their way. Of course, Levi is no longer a cop, but he has connections to the department.”
“I would be dead if it hadn’t been for Ethan. He saved my life more than once.”
“I can believe that. And it didn’t hurt that he’s a hunk, did it?”
“I didn’t notice,” she replied and felt herself smile for the first time in days. “At first I thought he was an arrogant jerk.”
Holly laughed. “Now, that I can imagine.”
Normally she would tell Holly everything that had happened with Ethan. But the subject wasn’t up for discussion—it was personal, intimate and private.
Holly shot her a glance. “Maybe when you feel better we can hit the town. Trish, Lori, Marcie, Vicky and several other friends have called to check on you. We can have a big girls’ night out to celebrate your recovery.”
“Maybe later.” Right now the thought didn’t appeal to her. She just wanted to be left alone.
Holly whizzed into the Baineses’ driveway. “Are you sure about staying here with the evil stepmom?”
“Yes. It’s time to let go of all the hostility.”
“Wow. That’s a big step for you.”
“Yeah.”
Holly switched off the engine. “Are you okay?”
