by Su Tong
When neither man had anything to say in reply, she felt she had finally worked off her anger. Still, she was free to consider them as clumsy conversationalists, and at this thought she smiled secretly. She sneaked a glance at the two men in the back of her mirror; they were smiling with similar expressions of tolerance. Li Yong approached her and spoke quietly into her ear, ‘You could be a little politer to my bro. Have you forgotten how he got you your job?’
Miaoyue curled her lip, but swallowed what she’d meant to say. She was prepared to regard her revenge as complete, but she hadn’t expected Li Yong to commit yet another blunder straightaway. He was taking three pairs of slippers from underneath the bed. He gave the first pair to Cui, the second to Miaoyue, and slipped the third pair on himself. Miaoyue looked with great displeasure at the order with which he had distributed the slippers, but it was Cui who began to speak. ‘Now that wasn’t right, Li Yong. You should have given the first pair to your girlfriend.’ But before he’d finished his sentence, Miaoyue had already kicked the slippers away.
‘Useless!’ Miaoyue shrieked at Li Yong, ‘Are you even a man at all? Just because he’s got money, you’re happy to be his slave?’
‘What’s that supposed to mean? He’s my big bro.’ Li Yong’s face flushed scarlet, and he said awkwardly, ‘They’re just slippers. Does it matter who gets them first?’
Cui, sitting to one side, shook with belly laughter, a kind of laughter simultaneously merry and suspect. And while he was laughing he slapped Li Yong on the back, then leaned over and whispered something in his ear. Miaoyue glared at them; she wished she could make out what they were saying. She saw only that Cui had his eye on her, and that the look he gave her was a little peculiar. It seemed to be approbation, but then again somehow it was not. It struck her as a secretive kind of look.
Without knowing why, Miaoyue didn’t dare to look Cui straight in the eye, so she turned her face away and gazed out of the window instead. Outside, the scene on the pier was beginning to move and the turbid river-water was slowly retreating: the boat had finally left the harbour. The trip had begun, and with that, little by little, Miaoyue’s mood slowly improved. Place names flashed rapidly through her mind – Nanjing, Wuhan, Wanxian, Chongqing – the names of cities she knew they would pass along the way on this Three Gorges trip. Miaoyue’s mood slowly improved as she imagined the beautiful, magnificent scenery of the Yangtze Three Gorges. It seemed to her that she could already dimly perceive a strangely shaped, precipitous mountain peak: the famed Goddess Peak. Miaoyue had found out about it from a Yangtze tourist map, and the shape of Goddess Peak really did resemble a woman holding vigil over the river, though Miaoyue couldn’t be sure why it was Goddess Peak alone that had inflamed her boundless imagination.
She found the crumpled tourist map in the small bag and let her fingers move along the scenic spots of the river, then suddenly her finger paused on the red dot that indicated Goddess Peak: ‘Goddess Peak,’ Miaoyue smiled and sighed. ‘This boat is so slow. When are we going to get to Goddess Peak?’
Li Yong had already taken off his shirt, and had picked up a towel to rub under his armpits. ‘What’s your hurry?’ Li Yong said, ‘The boat has only just left. Whatchamacallit Peak’s on the Three Gorges and the Three Gorges come after Wuhan, so you can see it once we’re in the Three Gorges.’
‘Thanks for the newsflash.’ Miaoyue shot him a contemptuous glance and realized that her question had been directed at Cui, but for whatever reason, as soon as her glance met Cui’s she felt discomfited and looked away. Miaoyue stared down again at the map and said, as if she were talking to herself, ‘Goddess Peak will probably be on the third day. Or maybe on the fourth?’
‘I don’t know what day it’s on, either,’ Cui, who was sitting on the other berth, put away his newspaper, ‘All I know is that we get to Wuhan on the second day, and that’s where I get off.’
‘What’s so great about Wuhan?’ Miaoyue asked, still bent over the map, ‘My aunt lives in Wuhan, and my mum’s been there. She said it’s boiling in summer, freezing in winter, and boring all year round.’
‘I realize the Three Gorges are stunning and Wuhan is Dullsville, but I don’t have time to keep going upriver with you – it’s just a question of time. If I were as free as you guys, then it’d be fine, but the businessman’s life is hectic, and I can’t afford to keep you company all the way up.’
‘Bro has to get off at Wuhan,’ Li Yong sat down next to Miaoyue, ‘I told you, remember? Bro has a lot of business in Wuhan.’
‘I’m sorry, was anybody talking to you?’ Miaoyue pushed Li Yong away with her elbow and frowned. ‘You know, I really don’t think I’ve ever met anyone quite so annoying. When you open your trap all you do is jabber. Aren’t you worried you might exhaust the human word supply?’
It seemed Li Yong would never lose his temper with his girlfriend, for he switched from her side to Cui’s with a wink and said, ‘What do you think? Tough cookie, eh?’
Cui just gave his belly laugh, ‘Don’t be angry, little bro,’ he said, slapping Li Yong several times on the back, ‘a man is lucky when he has a girlfriend with a sense of humour. If you can’t take a woman’s fury, then you aren’t a real man!’
Miaoyue sniggered, or to be more precise, a knowing snigger was emitted somewhere between Cui and Miaoyue. This subtle event had come about very suddenly. Miaoyue’s heart gave a little thump and she suddenly turned her face, having felt a faint pang of discomfort. She didn’t even know how this had happened – suddenly it seemed like she and Cui had reached a secret understanding, an alliance to tease or bully Li Yong.
The boat growled slightly as it moved over the water. Looking out the window they could see the sky growing dark, and the rural scenes along the riverside became shrouded in the thin mist of evening; a monotonous, hazy aspect. Miaoyue wanted to open the window, but it was nailed shut. Li Yong walked over to her and tried with all his strength to pull the window up. This time Miaoyue didn’t censure him, she simply pointed at the nails and informed him with a look at the ceiling what an idiot he was. Then she popped a preserved plum in her mouth and picked up a fashion magazine.
Even before night had fallen the two men began to drink. Miaoyue couldn’t understand the pleasure of drinking, but they plunged into it with gusto, especially Li Yong. With his fair skin and delicate features, the flush of drink quickly began to show, and at the same time his speech became more animated and coarse. He talked the whole time about a colleague who had embezzled five million bucks of public money before absconding abroad. ‘Bro, you wouldn’t believe it. Monkeyman really had the balls to do it.’ Li Yong said. ‘Fuck, man. I thought I knew the guy, but I didn’t know what was going on in his head. Monkeyman was totally yellow, but then he really had the balls to do it. Fuck, man, people today are crazy for money.’
‘You’ve said that a hundred times,’ Miaoyue said in disgust. ‘It looks to me like you’ll be crazy for money soon, too.’
But Cui was very patient with Li Yong’s talk and remarked, ‘If we were all crazy, it’d be fine. If we were crazy then we wouldn’t want any money.’
Miaoyue sniggered a little, or to be more exact it was again the snigger of understanding between her Cui. She was a little embarrassed and turned away, looking at the small bottle in Li Yong’s hand. Of the two roasted chickens that had been on the table there was now only half a chicken left. Li Yong was still trying to tear off a wing and Miaoyue was poking at him with her magazine.
Li Yong turned to her, ‘What’s the matter? It’s not as if the news about Monkeyman is a national secret. It’s been all over the papers; why shouldn’t I talk about it?’
‘I don’t care about your stupid Monkeyman or Elephantman or whatever,’ Miaoyue said. ‘I was trying to tell you not to be such a glutton. You didn’t buy the chicken, but you’ve eaten it all up.’
‘Hey, what are you talking about?’ Li Yong said, ‘Me and bro, we don’t split hairs. Me eating it is the same thing as
him eating it. Isn’t that right, bro?’
That secretive smile once again appeared for a moment on Cui’s face and he nodded at Li Yong to indicate his approval. But then, to her surprise, Cui extended his liquor glass towards Miaoyue. ‘Boat trips are boring,’ he said, ‘How about it? Have a sip?’
‘I don’t drink!’ Miaoyue almost screamed. The movement with which she pushed away the liquor glass seemed too shocking, her voice too piercing, as if Cui had offered her a glass filled with poison. She realized she had been rude. Her face flushed with shame and she walked to the cabin door, glancing first at Li Yong, then at Cui, then suddenly she opened it and ran out.
Underneath the lamps the deck was half-lit. Deeply perturbed, Miaoyue stood in the darkness. The river was murky in the night and not many people were looking out into it from the deck. The sound of their talking fell into the oblivion under the thunderous slapping of water against the hull. According to the original plan, Li Yong ought to have been out there with her, watching the night scene. But the trip had taken a somewhat peculiar turn; now she was standing alone, and what she saw in front of her was a liquor glass, the liquor glass Cui had held in his hand. Miaoyue reflected that perhaps she had been too sensitive – maybe the liquor glass had no particular significance. He and Li Yong were so close; what significance could it have?
The curtain of darkness was hanging heavily over the river’s surface, the nightscape being admired by the passengers on deck was in fact just a boundless navy blue, with a crescent moon, pinpricks of stars and scattered lights near and far. The breeze from the river was both strong and fierce, and after standing in it for a long time she felt a little chilled. An odd thought suddenly crossed her mind: if Li Yong came now and draped a piece of clothing over her shoulders, perhaps there might still be some hope for their love, but she knew it was only her romantic imagination.
Miaoyue went back to their cabin to fetch some clothes, but when she had reached the door she decided to eavesdrop on the men’s drunken banter. She put her ear to the door, but all she heard was the sound of someone throwing up. Then she heard Li Yong’s voice, ‘What’s a girlfriend, after all? A bro is like an arm or a leg, but a woman’s like clothing: you can throw her off whenever you feel like it.’ Miaoyue could hardly suppress her anger, but just as she was about to storm in, the door opened and Cui dragged Li Yong out, totally soused. Cui wasn’t at all surprised to see Miaoyue. ‘He’s drunk,’ Cui said casually. ‘I’m taking him to the bathroom. He’ll be fine when he’s finished puking.’
Miaoyue walked a few paces with them and saw that Li Yong had a slipper on one foot, but that the other foot was bare. They had only taken a few steps before Li Yong threw up. A foul liquid spouted from his mouth and splattered onto the floor of the corridor. Miaoyue stopped instinctively, turned her head away and screamed, ‘Yuck!’
The cabin reeked of liquor. Miaoyue waved her hands around in a vain attempt to dispel it, but after a moment gave up. Then she removed a jacket from her travel bag and hurriedly took to her heels. As she passed the bathroom she caught a glimpse of the two men crouched inside; one puking, the other with his head raised high, throwing a look at Miaoyue that was bright but penetrating. She lowered her head and walked on quickly, then she heard Li Yong call out her name, ‘Miaoyue! Miaoyue! Where are you? Why are you ignoring me?’
She laughed coldly and carried on walking, ‘You’ve got your bro. Puke away! Puke away and get right back to your drinking!’
Miaoyue had nowhere to go, and her steps led her back onto the deck. A crew member was working on something by the railing, but kept on looking up to stare at her. She blew up at him. ‘What are you looking at? I’m not going to jump!’ She rolled her eyes, then leaned on the railing to sulk. She was angry with Li Yong and she was angry with Cui. She didn’t know why she was angry with Cui, maybe it had something to do with that glass of liquor.
A few people came on deck and a few left. A couple snuggled up to one another under the cover of darkness – the girl’s hair had been blown loose by the wind and the boy was holding it in both hands. Miaoyue began observing them covertly but it made her feel dejected and heavy-hearted. All at once she remembered a night not long ago, when she and Li Yong had kissed in the city gardens. It had been just as ardent, just as romantic, but now it had become impossible to call to mind the flavour of those hot kisses. It had all become false and distant, and Miaoyue didn’t know whether it was a problem with Li Yong or herself.
The steamboat passed another port, and the lights in the houses slowly dimmed one by one in the distance. The faint sound of a TV emerged from somewhere on the banks; the evening news had just pronounced its earnest farewells. More people went below, and now only she and the couple remained. Miaoyue was still reflecting on her relationship with Li Yong; but since those are the kinds of questions that actually get more confusing the more you think about them, she ordered herself to stop. Instead, she spread her fingers, and counted them one by one. She didn’t know how many times she had counted them when she realized a shadow had crept up softly behind her. It wasn’t a stranger, though, it was none other than Cui.
‘Don’t bother counting.’ He laughed, ‘No matter how you count, there will always only be ten.’
Miaoyue glanced at Cui and said nothing. After a moment she enquired, ‘How is he?’
‘Asleep. He threw up all over the bathroom,’ Cui said, ‘Don’t worry. Getting drunk is nothing to worry about, he’s fine now that he’s finished puking.’
‘And why did you stop drinking? You’re not drunk,’ she said.
‘I don’t get drunk so easily,’ Cui said, ‘Don’t you know what they say? Good guys are easy drunks. Li Yong’s an easy drunk; ergo, he must be a good guy.’
‘I know he’s a good guy. You’re not, though.’
‘For a bad guy, I’m a good guy. Li Yong’s a good guy straight up.’
‘Why are you telling me this? That’s a weird thing to say.’ Suddenly she laughed and turned her head towards the river. ‘What’s all this good guy, bad guy stuff? Is this a morality court?’
‘A morality court is wherever you conduct one.’
‘Is this a trial? What right do you have to judge me?’ She lifted her head to look straight at Cui, her expression one of defiance.
‘I don’t have the authority to judge you; I just suspect you.’
‘Suspect me of what? Of being an American spy?’
‘Oh no, a simple girl like you wouldn’t make a good spy.’ Cui muttered to himself and one of his hands kept hitting the railing. Then he said, ‘Li Yong’s a pretty simple guy. He doesn’t really have women figured out, but I saw right away that you don’t love him.’
Miaoyue’s heart gave another thump and she turned her head to look at the faraway riverbank. In order to cover up her bewilderment, she wiggled her shoulders with a forced display of nonchalance. ‘Maybe I do, maybe I don’t,’ she said. ‘And what does it have to do with you?’
‘It has a little to do with me.’ The equivocal smile still played on his features. He brought out his cigarette pack, shook one out and stuck it in his mouth. ‘Li Yong’s a very nice guy. As you know, he depends a lot on me.’
‘I know he does,’ Miaoyue said, ‘You men like to say that when a friend’s in need, sharpen your knife. Are you going to stab me now?’
The smile on Cui’s face appeared even more mysterious; and his eyes were luminous in the night. After a spell of silence, Cui said in an exceptionally tender voice, ‘No. I’d stab anyone who told me to first.’
The darkness of night obstructed Miaoyue’s face, which suddenly flushed. She had lost the courage to look straight at Cui. ‘You don’t have to go on,’ she said, almost faltering. ‘I get it now.’
Whenever Miaoyue found herself in a bewildering situation, she would slowly count her fingers. But on that night, when Cui’s eyes were so bright, Miaoyue couldn’t even see her own fingers; all she could see was his hand, a large hand which stretched leisur
ely out to her, and gathered up all her fingers. Miaoyue did not resist him, and the only thing that made her uncomfortable was that it all happened too fast.
Miaoyue let him hold her fingers. She could not speak.
‘We get to Wuhan tomorrow,’ Cui said. ‘There’s no Goddess Peak in Wuhan, but there is a Crane Tower. It’s not as exciting as Beijing or Shanghai, but it can be a pretty fun city. Why don’t you come along for the ride?’
Miaoyue could not speak and gazed fixedly at Cui’s hand. After rather a long time, she said, ‘My aunt’s in Wuhan. She keeps writing for me to visit.’
When Miaoyue had finished this sentence, she saw the moon swaying in the sky. Then it seemed to go behind a thick cloud, for the deck seemed vaster and darker and all the banners on the mast were flapping in the breeze, making clear, splintering noises.
It was near evening of the second day that the boat reached Wuhan. Many passengers got off the boat there, taking a great deal of luggage with them, so the pier was unusually chaotic. It took quite some time for the boat and the docks to quieten down. The crew on the pier closed up the exit’s iron door, took down the plank that had been used as a gangway and the steamboat pilot pulled the departure whistle. Just at that point, we saw a strange young man running madly from the second-class cabins, his clothes dishevelled and looking like he’d just woken up with a hangover. We watched him bumping around in the corridor, and as he ran he shouted a girl’s name, ‘Miaoyue! Miaoyue! Where are you? Miaoyue! Miaoyue! Where have you got to?’
Anyone could see that the young man was mad with worry, which was only natural; if someone else’s girlfriend had disappeared, he too would have been driven to distraction. But the spectator is always more clearheaded than the person affected. Someone said, ‘If you were in the second-class cabins, why don’t you go and ask the steward there?’
