He seems to be contemplating his next words as he looks out the window. “Do you want the truth?” he asks, facing me.
I nod. Of course, I do. Whatever it is, I just want to know.
He says, “I don’t know if you’ll believe me or not, but it’s a game to her. She’s playing a game with me, and she thinks she can win. She’s trying to guilt me into getting back together with her. It’s not going to work though. Trust me. Her words mean nothing to me. Nothing.”
He stares at me for a long moment. It’s so uncomfortable that I feel like hours are passing by. I can see the emotions swimming all over his face.
He continues to explain. “I know what she’s been telling everyone, but it’s a lie. Fuck it. You should know. I won’t let her stupidity ruin us. She doesn’t know that I know it, but she cheated on me.”
“Oh. What?” He’s kidding, right? Cheated?
“She cheated on me over the summer. I knew we were growing apart, but I never expected her to pull that kind of crap. People talk. I won’t rat her out because…well, what good would that do? But I know she did it. A buddy of mine was nice enough to send pictures and everything.”
He pauses, running a hand through his hair. “She’s different than what I thought, or maybe she turned into something different, and I didn’t see it. I just never thought she would do something like that behind my back. She’s a fucking liar. I thought she at least had a little more respect.”
“So—”
“I’m not interested in getting back with her. Okay? What went on between Frankie and me is over. Over. I don’t care why she did it anymore. It doesn’t matter. I’m just pissed at her for what she did and at myself for not seeing her for what she really is.”
“So…you don’t want to get back with her?”
He’s still seething a little. “No. Hell no. And just so you know, Frankie and I were nothing like this—like us.”
I’m taken aback a little by his words.
Calming down, he whispers, “Besides, how could I possibly want to get back with her when I’m in love with you?”
“What?”
Did he just say what I thought he said? By the look in his eye, I think he’s a little surprised as well by what just came out of his mouth.
Taking a moment, he closes his eyes. When they open, all the anger has left his face. All that is left is Brent—just Brent.
“Shit. I’m doing this wrong.” Breathing in, Brent shakes his head, and then he reaches over, palming the side of my face.
During this moment of suspense as we look into each other’s eyes, my breath catches.
“Ruby, I’m in love with you.”
I close my eyes, trying to calm down, as I take in his words. How do I feel? Before I know it, I say, “I love you, too.”
“You do?” he asks. “I’ve been wanting to tell you for days, but I thought you might freak out.”
I open my eyes to see him staring at me. I can’t help the emotional gurgle that sputters from my mouth.
“Are you kidding? Look at me. I’m a flipping mess over the thought of you being with someone else. Of course, I love you,” I say on the edge of emotional giddiness.
The word love lingers foreign on my tongue. I’ve never said the word before, not when it means something like this. It’s one thing to love your family, but this is something different, completely different.
I see some recognition in Brent’s eyes. Leaning across the center console, he plants his mouth on mine with so much fervor that I feel it in my bones. As I cup his face with my hands, holding him tenderly, I slowly enjoy every bit of him.
Pulling back, I ask, “So, that’s it? With Frankie?” Then, I kiss him gently again.
Between my kisses, he says, “That was it. There isn’t anything with her.”
Sweeping away my long dark mane, he trails his lips across my cheek to behind my ear and then down my neck, showing extra attention to the sensitive area in the hollow of my collarbone. My mouth parts in an urgent breath as my entire body is telling me how much I love it.
“Good. I don’t want someone if he wants someone else,” I say, breathing heavily—maybe a little too heavy.
Brent pulls back to look at my face. “I don’t want anyone else. Not at all. Not since the moment I first saw you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” He breathes in before he dips his head to kiss the lower part of my neck.
Closing my eyes, I enjoy the feel of his mouth as it makes its way up the side of my neck to my ear. Running my fingers through his hair, my heart races as his hands do their best to circle my body in the small and awkward space of the car. My fingertips search the top of his collar, slipping into his shirt for more skin to touch.
One of his hands skims down to the lower part of my back. Moving under my shirt, he palms the bare skin while his lips connect with mine. I open my mouth, wanting to be closer. Needing to feel more of him and his love, I raise my body upward and place my knees on the seat for better leverage, pushing my body in his direction. I search his side for more warm skin to touch as I release his shirt from his pants.
Right now—I don’t know why—I feel the need to be near him, closer than we have ever been before. I need to feel more of him. I want him to feel more of me.
Leaning over the console, I press my upper body to his. I focus on his mouth and the way his chest feels against mine. His heart is hammering as I move my hand up the length of his stomach to his chest, bringing goose bumps to his skin. He leans back a little as I push myself forward, wanting to be on top of him.
I pull back briefly. With a heavy breath, I say, “Move the seat back.”
He straightens up, reaching down to the button. The seat moves back and starts reclining. Before it’s fully reclined, I move over the console to straddle Brent. Looking into his eyes, my heart leaps as my hands begin to tremble with nerves and anticipation.
I’m not sure how far I want to go at this moment, but I don’t want to stop just yet. My upper body lies on his while I balance my weight on my forearms beside his head. Lacing my fingers through his hair, I press my open mouth to his. His tongue meets mine as both of his firm hands rake across the bare skin under the back of my shirt that lies under his jacket, that I’m wearing. Inhaling deeply, I push my breasts against his chest.
Brent pulls me even closer to him. From the base of my neck to the lower part of my back, his hands roam over my body. Occasionally skimming over my waistband, he touches the bare skin below my panties.
Breathing heavily, as I tighten my fingers in his hair, I arch my back, so Brent can place more of those heated kisses down my neck. One of his hands circle to the front of my body. He gently cups my sensitive flesh tucked under the built-in support of the tank top while his other hand goes to my bottom.
From his touch on the delicate skin of my chest, the butterflies in my stomach have now morphed into raging monsters. He moves his mouth down my neck, landing over the sensitive skin still hiding under my tank. Brent’s hand skims the neckline, pulling it down to reveal one of my breasts. With his lips, he continues to caress my now bare flesh.
My breathing becomes more labored, heaving, when the hand from my butt moves up to cup my other breast. His fingertips circle the covered area while his mouth moves back up to my neck.
I feel a hand slowly skim down the front of my body until it meets the top of my pants. I move my mouth to his, gripping the back of his head. His fingers tease the space between the front of my jeans and my stomach as we kiss. Finally, he stops at the button and pops it open. As I feel his hand turn between us, his fingertips slowly descend into my jeans, finding their way inside my panties.
“Brent,” I gasp.
“Yeah,” he says, moving his lips to the space behind my ear.
“I, uh—” I start to say, but then I’m distracted as his mouth makes contact with my skin.
He pulls back, looking up to me with clouded eyes. “Hey.” He smiles and then kisses me. S
troking my hair, he says, “It’s okay.”
“What’s okay?” I ask, returning the kiss.
“If you want to stop. We don’t have to, you know…go any further.” He licks his lips. “Or keep doing this.”
“Oh…I, uh…” Pulling back to look into his face, I sit up and adjust my top back in place.
He leans forward, rubbing my back. “Ruby?” he questions with a concerned look.
I take a deep breath, focusing my eyes on his chest. “It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just…well, you should know, um…I never have before.”
Brent tips my chin up to look at him. “We don’t have to at all. You know I would never make you.”
“Oh, I know you wouldn’t. I do want to…I think. I just want you to know that…you know…oh god, this is embarrassing,” I say, covering my face with the palms of my hands.
“Ruby…” He chuckles. “Why would you be embarrassed? It’s just me.”
I remove my hands to look at his face, hoping to see what I need in his eyes. I’m not sure what I see, but it puts me at ease.
“Yeah, I know,” I whisper.
“We can stop whenever you want.”
“What if I don’t want to stop?” Did that just come out of my mouth?
“Then, you let me know,” he tells me without any expectation on his face.
I sigh. “Well, I think I messed up the moment for now.”
“Maybe, but I don’t think the front seat of my car is the most romantic place either…not that I would say no.”
He’s teasing me, so I play along.
“It’s a fun place though.” My eyes wander, vacantly looking out the window for a moment before returning to look at him. “What do we do now? Now that I’ve completely ruined the front-seat action.”
“Hey now, you didn’t ruin anything. I liked it.” He lifts his hand, gently pressing his thumb to my bottom lip. “How about we go for a walk?”
“Sure.”
With me still in his jacket, we get out of the car and walk along the lake hand in hand as we’ve done before. However, this time as we walk together, a sense of completeness overcomes me when I realize that Brent and I are a team that really feels solid. So what if he has an ex? I certainly have my own baggage. He wants to be with me, and I so want to be with him. End of discussion.
Fourteen
The first week of school flies by, and I’m looking forward to the weekend. I wasn’t sure how transferring from summer friends to school friends, would play out, but all my worrying was for nothing. We’re only closer now than before.
However, Brent and I have only one class together and separate lunches, and he has practice every day after school. Although I’m able to catch him in the halls here and there, I’m definitely going through withdrawal. We obviously spent too much time together over the last part of summer.
After my last class of the day, government, I stop at my locker to retrieve my things before heading home. Seeing Liam and his sister, Piper, I wave and smile at them as I put my books away.
“Are you going to the match tomorrow?” Liam asks over Piper’s head while he closes the door to his locker.
“You know that I’m volunteering at the hospital in the morning,” Piper snaps in Liam’s direction.
“Not you, Pipes. I was talking to Ruby,” Liam gently corrects her.
Piper looks at me for a moment, biting her lip, and she then turns to Liam. “Oh. See you later,” she says quickly to him before she walks down the hall.
“Well?” Liam urges, “Are you going?”
“Nah, I have to work in the morning. Good luck though.”
Tomorrow is my first day back at the restaurant since before summer break. I’m looking forward to getting back into the swing of things with school, work, and the soon-to-come track practices. Schedules make me happy; they’re reliable and keep me constant.
“Thanks,” Liam replies, looking over my shoulder.
“Hey there,” Autumn says to Liam before pecking him on the cheek. “Oh, hey, Ruby. Are you coming with us to the game tonight?”
“Uh, I think so. Brent and I haven’t talked about it yet. It’s a home game, right?”
“Nope, it’s away. We’re all going though. Didn’t Brent tell you?” Autumn asks.
“I haven’t seen him since first period. He didn’t mention it then.”
“That’s because I wasn’t planning on going,” Brent says into my ear from behind me, effectively startling me from my conversation with Autumn and Liam.
Instead of giving my heart a workout with every greeting, couldn’t he just walk up to me like everyone else? Who am I kidding? I love it.
“Oh, is that right?” I turn around to face him. “And why not, may I ask?”
“Hey, Liam.” Brent nods in his direction. “Sorry, I’m backing out, man. I have other plans for tonight.”
“No problem. See you tomorrow,” Liam says to Brent.
Liam drapes his arm over Autumn’s shoulders as they walk past us, waving good-bye.
“So, what are these other plans?” I playfully accuse, turning to Brent.
“Nuh-uh, I’m not telling you. You already agreed to go out with me tonight, and I’m holding you to it.”
“All right.” I feign annoyance, sticking out my lower lip.
“Awww,” he teases, “I thought you liked surprises.”
“I like your surprises,” I tell him, taking his hand.
As we walk out the door to the parking lot, Brent asks, “How was your day?”
“Good. Calculus sucked, but English was out of this world,” I singsong.
“Oh, yeah, why is that?” He smirks at me.
I nudge his shoulder. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe a certain English partner was able to catch my eye this morning.”
When we reach my car, he brushes the back of his hand down the side of my face, puckering his lips in thought.
“Her light shines through the tunnel to my heart, clenching every pulsing beat with radiance and luminosity.”
“Who wrote that?” I ask, not recognizing it from today’s lesson.
“Ask me tonight,” he says. He kisses me quickly and then opens my car door for me to get in. “I’ll pick you up at seven,” he adds, tapping the roof of the car, before he heads back to school for practice.
I start driving out of the parking lot but not before I let my eyes follow Brent for a few moments longer.
***
When I pull into the driveway at home, I find an empty house. I’m not surprised since my dad tends to work until four in the afternoon. During the last two weeks, he’s been diligent about putting in good hours. I have to admit that I’m surprised at how well he’s been doing. This week, he made dinner for us twice, and we even sat down together. We haven’t done that in more than a year.
Earlier this week, I went to a meeting with him. I’m really happy to see he’s getting better. At first, I was worried that he might struggle with the proximity of my Uncle Jas, especially since my dad works with him, but it really hasn’t been an issue. Jas seems supportive. He even joined us for dinner this past week. Maybe I need to give everyone a little more credit. I shouldn’t be so hard on all of them.
Regardless, it seems like my dad is truly moving forward. We’re slowly becoming a family once again. Of course, it’s nothing like it used to be, but I’m happy to see the light in him again. It makes me realize how much I missed having a father and how much I missed him.
I go to my room to change into my running clothes then head out on my usual five-mile route to the lake. Dragon joins me as I take a leisurely jog, enjoying what might be the last of the summer weather before the cool air begins to settle over the town. When we reach the lake, I take off my shoes to wade in the chilly waters to play fetch with Dragon.
It’s a beautiful day, and I can’t help but smile at Dragon, my first and sometimes only friend in my little world. He knows everything. No one else knows that I live with a recovering addict
, or what things were like before my dad made the decision to get help. I know these secrets have been holding me hostage since we moved here. Now though, I think I’m ready to face them.
I get the sinking feeling that it’s time for me to stop denying what’s going on in my life and how it affects me. I guess it’s time to deal. Maybe I’m in recovery, too, and this is part of the process. I need to recover from the life and the sickness my father and his family brought to us, infecting us all. Maybe it’s time to accept it all and possibly let a few others in as well.
Enough with the deep thoughts. It’s time to go.
“Dragon!” I yell and then whistle.
He bounds out of the lake, shaking off excess water, while I put on my socks and shoes, so we can head back home.
***
After I shower and dress for the evening, I come out to find my dad in the kitchen, going through the mail.
“Hey, Dad,” I say cheerfully.
He vacantly looks up from the letter he’s reading. “Hey, Tuesday.”
He’s off.
“What’s up?”
“Nothing. Nice outfit. Are you going out tonight? You look really pretty,” he says with a somber look in his eyes.
“Thanks. Yeah, I’m getting picked up after dinner.”
“So, am I ever going to meet this guy? I know you’ve been keeping him a secret from me. Are you embarrassed or something?”
The truth is that yes, I am embarrassed. I could never tell him that though, especially now that he’s doing so much better while on his path to recovery.
“Dad,” I falter. “It’s not that at all. I, uh…tell you what. Why don’t we all have dinner together next week?” I offer. Maybe I am ready to make that leap.
“Well, isn’t he picking you up tonight?”
“Yeah, but can we do it next week?”
He assesses my face, knowing we’re still walking on eggshells with our relationship. I’m trying, but after years of keeping to myself for so long, sharing parts of my life is really difficult for me, especially with him. I’m working on it though.
“Sure, Tuesday, but I’m holding you to it.”
These Days Series: After Tuesday | Forgotten Yesterday | Deciding Tomorrow Page 12
