by Nana Malone
"Come on, let's have it. Your explanation so we don't have to keep doing the runaround in circles then."
"The woman, Ilsa, she was another casual arrangement I had. Before you. Not even an arrangement. Just a date to some charity things." He swallowed. “And we slept together sometimes. Nothing regular and nothing we even talked about. I was clear about what we were and what we weren’t.”
Sophie frowned. "But you said that you weren't casual with anyone else at the time when you were sleeping with me."
He shook his head. "And I wasn't. From the moment you and I started, I stopped calling her. She was a bit upset when I saw her at the club. She wanted to know why I hadn't taken her to some event. I guess, apparently, she wanted more than casual too."
"There seems to be a lot of that going around."
"I guess there was. I swear to Christ, I didn't touch her.” He shook his head. “I should've pushed her away sooner. I had no idea how to navigate any of this. But I was moving away from her and she sat on me and I didn't move quickly enough. I know. There are some habits I have that I need to break, but you have to know I would never hurt you, not on purpose. That's not the kind of person I am. I don't want to be him. I don't want to be my father."
She winced. "I never said you were. I just—It hurt seeing you with her. I knew I wasn’t supposed to develop feelings, but that was awful."
He bit his lip. "It—hurt seeing you with that prat. And that smug git—I swear to God, I wanted to hit him.”
“I appreciate your restraint. I needed to try and go out with someone.”
Nathan cursed under his breath. “Why?”
“For starters, my life. I was really lonely. Just like you’ve tried to avoid being your father, I’ve tried to avoid ending up with someone like mine. I never stopped to think about who I might actually want long term. I made practical decisions and then with you it was like I made the most impractical decision in the world. On paper you were all wrong. And you made it clear you didn’t want me long term. But you were the one I wanted. I needed to move past it the best I could. I was convinced I was doomed to want things that weren’t good for me.”
Nathan frowned and she could see the pain etched on his face. “I know I fucked up but I am good for you. You're the only one I want to tell everything too and when I’m with you, fuck, I don't know, I feel lighter. Like I’m not carrying all this shit around all the time. I can be that for you too. Give me a chance to show you.”
She heard the sincerity in the deep timber of his voice. She could practically feel the tangible truth. But she wasn’t willing to pretend with him anymore. “I’m not going back to just us shagging. I’m not good at that sort of ambiguous relationship.”
“That’s good. Because somewhere along the line, between movie Saturdays and your attempts at a Sunday roast I fell in love with you. I certainly don’t want to go back to that. Hell, I never really wanted that either. It sucked to see you with him. To see you with anyone other than me. To think of his hands on you.” He shook his head. “You belong with me. I just didn’t know it when we started. I thought this feeling in my chest, the warmth, was an anomaly.”
She started at him, her heart caught in her throat. Had he just said he loved her? Had she actually heard those words? "You never had to worry about anything. He wasn’t the one I wanted. It was you. Even when I didn’t know it was you, it was you."
He frowned and asked softly, "You didn't sleep with him?"
Sophie threw up her hands. "How many times do I have to tell you? I’m not good at casual. And I have this thing for my neighbor who honestly, can be a bit of a thick prick at times."
He chuckled. "Oh yeah?”
She realized what she’d said then groaned even as she laughed. “Oh my God. You’re incorrigible. You know what I mean. I took your stupid lessons just to be near you.”
“So, we're clear, you never did need any lessons from me. You blew my mind without even trying."
A flush crept up her neck. "Thank you. I am brilliant. So, what happens now?"
He swallowed. "Well, now I show you that I plan on loving you until you make me go … "
"How are you going to do that?"
He smiled. "Come with me. I want to show you something.”
“Oh, Nathan! This theater—you saved it.”
He nodded. “I did. We started to do some renovations and started up rehearsals again. They’ll be putting on Rent in a matter of months.”
“I’m really proud of you. I’m sure your mother would have been too.”
Nathan intertwined his hand with hers and then tugged her up the stairs. “C’mon, we can watch some of the rehearsals from up here.”
While the DJ thumped a heavy hip-hop-infused pop beat, and the actors on stage danced and sang, he ran his fingertips just under Sophie’s skirt. She paid him no attention, just continued moving to the beat.
He brushed her thick hair off the nape of her neck and kissed her softly. “I want to touch you.”
She turned in his arms. “I want to be touched. I’ve missed you, Nathan.”
Missing her wasn’t even the right word for him. He craved her. They’d only been apart a little over a month, but he felt like a part of him had been cut out.
Nathan slid his fingers up her thigh until he reached the silken heat between. “Jesus, Sophie. It’s been too long.”
When he slid a finger inside her, she reached behind her and grabbed the ledge. Down below, Mimi belted “Out Tonight.” The rest of the cast joined her dancing on stage. All the while, he slowly penetrated Sophie, teasing her slick opening with his questing fingers. Tormenting himself.
She reached for him and tugged on his belt. Knowing what she wanted, what she needed, what they both craved, Nathan made quick work of his pants. When he reached for his wallet, she shook her head. “I—I got on the pill. I, um, did it before ... ”
“Fuck, Sophie.” He dropped his forehead to hers. “Are you sure?”
She nodded. “I love you.” She blurted out. “I should have probably told you earlier at dinner. I just, couldn’t believe you were saying the words to me.”
Nathan swallowed. “You saying them or not. I know it. I can see it in the way you look at me. I can feel it when you smile at me. The words are just a bonus.”
She blinked up at him rapidly. “Look who’s a romantic.”
He couldn’t help the smirk. “A dirty romantic. Do you want me to fuck you bare?” he asked through clenched teeth.
She tensed for a moment, then shivered as he stroked her slit again. “Yes,” she whispered. “Please.” Before she’d even finished speaking, she'd taken his cock in her closed fist and was stroking it up and down rhythmically.
With every stroke and dip of his tongue, she rocked back against him. Sophie moaned against his lips as she tilted her body into his. He’d thought his cock was hard earlier, but damn, there was hard, then there was whatever the hell was happening to him. Like the sexual tension had turned his dick into pure steel. Take your time, wanker. Do not blow this. For her or for you.
Shit, he wanted more, needed more. He could kiss her all day. She was tentative at first, but with every stoke of his tongue, she softened, opening for him, baring a little bit of her heart. Jesus, what was she doing to him? His skin tingled like someone was lighting it on fire from the inside. It made him hot. Tight. Itchy. And the only cure was to keep touching this woman.
Who the hell was he kidding? Even if she said to stop right now, he’d still beg to be near her. He’d keep his feelings to himself because he just wanted to be near her. Holy shit. If he didn’t do something, he’d lose hold of the cords of his control. He wanted her. And he had a feeling a lifetime wouldn’t be enough.
He was so focused on watching as she arched her back, offering up her breasts to him, that he barely heard her. “Mmm?” Shifting slightly, he kissed her again as he tested the weight of her breasts and teased the pebbled tips with his thumbs. “Is this what you needed?” he whispe
red against her lips.
Sophie dug her nails into his hair, attempting to pull him closer still. Fuck, she was hot. So hot. She moaned into his mouth as he teased her other nipple. He swallowed the mewling sounds that slid from her lips.
The music below was so loud no one would hear them. But the thrill and possibility of getting caught kept the buzz humming over his skin.
“No. Don't stop.”
A smile tugged at his lips. “But I have other plans.” Trailing kisses along her stomach, he stopped at her belly button to dip his tongue inside, tasting her.
He kissed lower still. “Open your legs for me, Sophie.”
She lifted her head and met his gaze. “Nathan, what are you—?”
“You can be patient, can’t you?” Shit, like he could. There was still a distinct chance he might come in his boxers. But fuck, he really hoped not. “A little wider. Yeah, that's it. Like that. I like to see what I’m doing.”
Her muscles tensed. “Nathan, oh my God!”
“Do you trust me?”
She swallowed but then nodded.
A smile tugged at his lips. “Okay, that’s good. I plan on doing a few dirty things to you. Helps if you trust me.”
She snorted a laugh and then tried to close her legs, but he kept them firmly apart. “Okay, okay.”
He kissed her inner thighs again, relishing in the strength in them. She was so wet already. He loved it. Tracing his knuckles across her slick folds, he teased apart the lips of her sex. “You are so pretty, Sophie. Soft and delicate. I think I need a taste. What do you say, Sophie? Do you want my tongue on your clit?”
Her reply was a whispered, “Y-yes.”
“Okay, good.” Kissing her softly, just above her mound, he used his thumbs to separate the slick flesh, and she whimpered. Leaning forward, he lapped at her folds with his tongue. Her hips bucked off the seat, and he stopped immediately. “You okay? I’m just getting started. Maybe you should hold on to something.”
“W—wow. Oh my… God. Yeah. I’m okay.”
He grinned. “You like that, then?”
She grinned down at him. “Uh, I don’t know. You’d better try again, so we can be sure.”
“Coming right up. In the name of science, of course.”
She giggled again but stopped when he applied firm, lazy licks from her cleft to her clitoris. She didn’t say much after that. Just moaning and some shaking. He dipped his tongue into her core, working it in as far as it would go, lapping up her juices as he gently made love to her with his tongue.
It didn't take long before her thighs began to quake. Even with his tongue, he could feel the tiny tremors. Feeling the inner walls of her sex as they contracted around his tongue.
When she threw her head back, muttering something incomprehensible, he gently brushed his thumb over her tight pucker. Her resounding scream and freefall from orgasm had him smiling even as he gently continued to suck her clit.
While she came, he kept up the steady rhythm. Stoking the flames until she came down then crashed again.
“Nathan, I can’t. Please—”
He kissed his way back up her body. Pausing at her nipples again, he gently scraped one with his teeth. When she gasped, he wrapped his lips around her nipple. Languidly, she slid her arms around his neck.
He wanted to see if he could get just one more orgasm from her. Just one. Then he’d stop being greedy.
His teeth scraped her nipple again as he eased a finger into her. The telltale flutter of her core around his finger had him cursing low as her tight, slick channel clutched at him.
“You are so unbelievably beautiful,” he muttered against her flesh. “Let me feel how much you want me.” He withdrew the one and slid in two.
Sophie whimpered, and Nathan squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to come. But he could wait for her. Just one more. That was all he wanted. Hooking his fingers inside her, he teased her G-spot. He wanted to take his time with her now because once he had his dick inside her, there’d be no exploration, no taking his time. He was too raw. Too ready. He’d been riding the edge of need since he met her.
Since he’d almost lost her.
Nathan shook his head again. “I should have told you from the get go, Sophie. You were never casual for me. And now that you're mine, I’m never letting you go.”
Sophie held on to the railing and shifted her stance to make room for him between her thighs.
Nathan grazed his teeth against her neck. “What are you doing to me?”
“No more than you're doing to me,” she whispered.
As he sank into her, inch by inch, her big eyes widened, and she moaned low. He retreated until only the tip of his cock was still inside her, then he sank in again. That’s it, nice and steady. You can do this. Not too fast. You’ll be—fine. Holy fuck. Her inner walls milked him, and his eyes crossed as the tingling fire burst forth from the base of his spine.
And while Mimi sang below, Nathan sank deep.
He was going to come. And from the fire racing over his skin, he was going to be out, but not before making her break apart again. But when he slid his hand over her taut belly and stroked his finger over her clit, she started to shake. Jackpot.
Again and again, he stroked her clit, adjusting their position so that she stood straight, holding on to the railing. From the stage, if anyone looked up, they might only see her shoulders. They wouldn’t see what he was doing to her. No one would see how completely she owned him.
Or that he was on his knees and her legs splayed were played wide. Holding her legs wider, he circled her clit with his thumb and his cock sank deep.
Would it always be like this with her? Would he keep wanting her this badly as if he’d never had her? With each slide home and retreat, when the harsh cry tore out of her throat, her body convulsed around his cock like a vise, and Nathan lost any thread of control he might have once had. He marked her as his forever.
Epilogue
Nathan fingered the lock of Sophie’s red hair. “You know I’ve always liked the red.”
She cuddled into him and kissed his pectoral muscle. “It feels good to have it back.”
“Don’t ever change it. It reminds me of that first night I met you. The way you were watching me.” He winked.
She giggled even as she took a bite. “You were watching me. And you were being very naughty. I’ll remind you.”
She was right. He had been naughty, but she liked it. “You like it, don’t you?”
He snuggled into the crook of her neck and kissed her and a shiver ran into her body. “You have to tell me if you don’t like it, then I won’t ever do it again.”
She giggled. “Well, let’s not be too hasty. I mean, you were naughty, but you were sexy, so, you know, that sort of canceled out.”
Nathan kissed at her neck and Sophie arched her back automatically as he moved closer to her nipples. Shit. He could not get distracted right now. He had important things to ask her. Things he was terrified she would say no too. But he needed to ask her because he wanted them to be together. Lazily, he brushed his lips over one nipple and she moaned, running her fingers through his hair, drawing him closer.
“Easy sweetheart, I’ll get there. But first, I want to ask you something.”
Why was he so nervous? This was Sophie. Everything with her was so easy. He could just be himself. And working together had only brought them closer. She’d taken the theater on as one of her clients. Thanks to her, opening week was completely sold out.
So, why are you scared?
Because there was still the chance that she could say no… that she didn’t want this with him.
“Nathan, come on. Please –“
“I promise. But first, I wanted to ask you how you felt about taking our two apartments and making them one. As a matter of fact, how would you feel if we bought the two of them and the upstairs garden?”
He stilled. Waiting, holding his breath, trying to tell his heart to calm down.
Soph
ie though, she was no fool. She knew what he was really asking. “So, you’re asking me to move in with you?”
“Yeah. I am.” He was asking for a whole lot more than that. But he figured he’d go with baby steps. “What do you say?”
He lifted his head to meet her gaze to find her smile was brilliant. “Well, considering I spend the majority of my time here, or running backward and forward naked in the hallway between here and there, I suppose we could do something like that. But Nathan, I can’t afford to buy either of these places. And I don’t want you paying my way.”
He knew what she was getting at. It pinched a little still, even though he understood why. He’d met Sophie’s Dad. She said he was different now, but he could see she was still wary of him. It made him worry that she was waiting for him to leave. Well he would just have to show her that he was never leaving. For him, she was his world. He was all in.
“I know you feel weird. At first, I was thinking you just chip in what you can pay. But I actually have a better idea. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while.”
She frowned. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. It’s probably something I’ve been thinking about since the first night on the balcony at the theater."
She giggled. “Oh, I remember that. But you’ll have to enlighten me. Exactly what part were you thinking about?”
“Well, I was thinking about how before that I’ve been terrified that I’d fallen in love with you and you didn’t love me back.”
She ran her hand gently through his hair. “Of course, I love you. I didn’t want to, but I did.”
He nodded. “When you finally said it, I thought my heart was going to burst. I was so happy. And all I could think about was how I wanted you in my arms with me forever.”
Her smile was soft, although her brows slightly furrowed as if she sensed where the conversation was going. “I wanted to ask you then, but it was too soon. So, I’ve been thinking about doing this every day since then, how I would do it. All the lavish, ridiculous ways I could possibly ask you.”
Now she sat up, her eyes going wide. Nathan kissed his way up her chest and onto her collarbone, into the crook of her neck, finally along her jaw and then her lips. “And I fully plan to do one of those ridiculous, lavish things. But for the first time I asked you, I wanted it to be just you and me, Nathan and Sophie.”
