by A. J. Downey
“Look, I didn’t want to talk about club politics or hierarchies tonight. I wanted to talk to you about whatever it is we’re doing. We’ve obviously got some kind of insane attraction going on but you just got out of a real bad situation and I don’t want a quick fuck or a short fling. You deserve better than that and for whatever reason I want to be that for you, what you deserve.” He found the spaces between my fingers with his and I looked down at our interlocked hands.
Our plates were set in front of us but still I stared for what felt like long minutes at our interlocked fingers.
“Everett?” he asked and his dusky voice sounded worried.
“I don’t want to overthink this.” I said suddenly. “Dray I’m attracted to you, intensely attracted to you and this thing with Jerry, I don’t know… I just don’t know but I think Mandy said it best. I should just do what feels right and only if it feels right. Everything else is just over complicating things.” His gaze was intense but guarded at the same time and I looked him over. He nodded slowly.
“Eat your dinner Em.” He sad gently and we ate in relative silence that wasn’t completely comfortable at least not for me.
Finally I asked, “What’s an ‘Old Lady’ to you guys, because quite frankly it sounds rude as Hell.” He choked on his sip of water and l blinked. He coughed and laughed at the same time and I felt my lips curve in amusement.
“An Old Lady is sacred, Babe. Take Ashton for instance, she’s Trigger’s Old Lady, that means if anyone and I do mean anyone that messes with her has to answer to Trig.” I swallowed thoughtfully as he went on. “It’s the nature of an MC that to mess with one of us, you’re gettin’ all of us so… yeah. Being an Old Lady is a big deal. It’s an honorific we bestow only on women who are of value to us.” I arched a brow at his phrasing of the last.
“You make us sound like property, like cattle or something.” I said and he grinned.
“Yeah it does, but the MC is a brotherhood and the traditions MC’s follow are an age old thing that can be full of all sorts of misogynistic douche-baggy goodness.” He gave me that boyish panty dropping grin of his and I laughed. “Seriously though, to be a patch holder’s girlfriend is one thing, but to be a patch holder’s Old Lady, property patch and all… Like I said, that’s sacred and a real big deal to us. We take it more seriously than a wedding ring.” He looked solemn all of a sudden and I really felt my eyebrows go up.
“Property patch?” I asked, my brain latching onto the phrase. He nodded gravely and explained to me that Old Ladies were given vests by their Old Men which stated that they were ‘property of so and so’ when they went out on runs or out to gatherings, that way the men in other MC’s knew to keep their hands off. I’d blinked, astounded. It all seemed so very cavemanish and like something out of the dark ages. I mulled all of it over in silence as we ate. Processing all of this new information.
Dray turned cool and unreadable and I hated it. I felt cast adrift and as I finished my meal I felt on the verge of tears. I was suddenly worried I’d seriously offended him with my curiosity about the club’s terminology and how things worked, but it seemed like it was something I should know before, you know, getting involved with a member, let alone their Vice President. He paid for dinner and walked us out to the car. I waited, hands stuffed in the pockets of my jacket, head bowed as the rain fell and he unlocked my door. I scooted inside the car and he drove us home, also in silence. His movements calculated and controlled as he shifted gears and steered through the rain slicked streets. I went into the house and hung my jacket on the back of a chair while he did the same.
I didn’t hear him follow me into the bedroom. I startled when his hands fell onto my shoulders and froze in place. He swept my loose hair over my shoulder and pulled me back against his chest. His lips grazed my ear and I closed my eyes and melted back into him, relieved. Not offended after all, simply being closed off and mercurial Dray.
“Tell me when you need me to stop.” He whispered and his hands smoothed down my shoulders, along my back, coming to rest on my hips. He kissed from my ear down the side of my neck. Barely there touches of his satiny lips against my skin. I laid my head back on his shoulder and offered my lips to his and he took the sacrifice, covering my mouth with his.
Cool air slid along the heated skin of my stomach as he pulled my shirt up over my ribs. I raised my arms and he pulled the shirt over my head and let it fall to the floor. His large work roughened hands cupped my breasts through the thin satin of my bra and he made an appreciative groan which I just ate up. He broke our kiss and sucked in air between his teeth.
“God, Em, you are so fucking beautiful.” His voice was low and intense and slithered long my exposed skin like warm, sable soft fur. I twisted, turning in the circle of his arms. His hands pressed into my back over my wings.
“You still want me?” I asked, voice trembling.
“God yes!” he sounded shocked.
“You just… You’re so hard to read sometimes and at the restaurant you were angry and then so quiet I didn’t know… I thought I offended you with all of my questions… that I broke it somehow.” I know I sounded pitiful and a lot of it was insecurities based on my relationship with Jerry, and having thought I knew him… and finding out I had everything all wrong. I covered my face with my hands and scrubbed wishing that my emotional turmoil and confusion would go away with the motion.
Dray’s hands grasped my shoulders and he sat me on the edge of the bed. I looked up at him and he looked down at me, his face passive, unreadable except for his dark eyes which radiated concern.
“You got a lot going on in there.” Dray said tapping me lightly on the temple with a finger. He exhaled loudly. “Stay here Em. I’m only going to be a little bit. I promise.” He went out into the hall and into the bathroom and shut the door. Water began to run. I took off my boots, waited, and after a minute or two more huffed a sigh and stood. I peeled my jeans down my legs and my socks off my feet. The sound of running water grew louder; then softer as the door to the bathroom opened and closed. Dray’s shadow darkened the open door way. Night had fallen and the shadows in the room had deepened.
“I wanted to do that,” he said softly, “But this works too.” He came into the room and took my hands walking backwards, leading me towards the closed bathroom door.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“You need to relax.” He said, tone soothing, gentle. “Stop thinking about so much all at once.” He led me into the bathroom which was softly lit with candles. He slipped my panties from my hips and let them fall to the floor and eased my bra straps off my shoulders but the thing that got me was he didn’t look. His deep, dark soulful eyes stayed locked with my own as he took the final scraps of material from the most intimate parts of my body and let them fall.
He shut the water off and straightened, back to me, the thin material of his Henley taught across his shoulders, as he wiped the moisture from his hands. He turned to the wall, keeping his back to me to allow me the privacy to get into the tub. I stepped into the water and sucked in a breath. It was hot, almost too hot but I think that’s what he wanted. I lowered myself into the mounded bubbles and sank in up to my neck, holding my hair piled on top of my head out of the water. The water moved over me and the bubbles closed ranks. Dray snuck a glance and knelt down beside the tub. He gathered my hair in his large hands into a high pony tail and twisted it into a loose knot for me.
“Where did you learn to do that?” I asked gently. Something flickered behind his eyes and if possible they went even darker than before.
“Years of watching my mom do it.” he said gently and the hurt in his voice made me regret asking. He rolled a towel and put it behind my neck, and turned his body, sitting down on the floor. He put his back against the wall where the faucets on the claw foot were and we were suddenly facing each other. The candle flames flickered casting wavering shadows on the wall and across Dray’s face which was intense as he sat and watched me.
“I’m not very good at this.” He confessed.
“At what?” I asked shifting a bit in the warm water. Dray’s eyes widened a bit but he recovered quickly.
“At taking care of a woman. You know, being supportive. Not my usual thing.” He raised a knee, booted foot against the floor and his arms went loosely around it. A defensive posture. I swallowed.
“I think you’re doing remarkably well.” I murmured.
“Yeah?” he asked.
“No one has ever done anything even remotely like this for me.” I said. He smiled that boyish smile and butterflies swirled in my stomach.
“You looked like you needed to relax.” He said getting to his knees. He brought himself close to the edge of the tub and looked down at me. I brought a hand out of the water, I felt languid, my muscles loosening under the punishing heat. He palmed the back of my hand, fingers curling around my thumb and brought my palm to his lips. His eyes drifted shut as he pressed a kiss to the heart of my palm, his tongue darting out to drink the water from my skin.
A small moan escaped my lips and his dark eyes flashed open pinning my breath in my lungs and my eyes with his smoldering look. He took his mouth from my hand and pressed it to the inside of my wrist, nipping lightly, grazing the sensitive skin with his teeth. I forgot to breathe all together and he drew back, smiling.
“Relax. I’m going to go change.” He murmured and put my hand back down into the water.
I did as I was told, leaning my head back, soaking in the heat, my eyes closed. I sighed and decided that I needed to be a little less insecure, which wasn’t going to be an easy task. I heard Dray’s deep voice, indistinct through his bedroom wall. He was on the phone. I didn’t know what time it was but my body said ‘late’, I was bone weary and needed to wrap this up if I had any hope of getting a bit of decent sleep.
“Come on Evy, just two more days in the week and you’re home free. You can get a break.” I told myself. It’s what I told myself almost every week at some point lately. ‘Just two more days’ or ‘just three more days’… I tried to figure out when exactly it had been that my life had devolved into counting the days and I blinked when I realized it too had started with Jerry. With counting the days between pay days so I could quickly pay all the bills so he wouldn’t burn through my paychecks with reckless spending.
I covered my face with my wet hands as frustrated angry tears welled in my eyes. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have stayed for so long and just let him walk all over me like that? I was stronger than that. My father had raised me to be and that stung more than anything Jerry could have done to betray me. That if he were alive, I likely would have disappointed my father so very much… I wondered if my da’ had seen it, if he’d been silently disappointed before he’d passed and that wrenched the first sob out of me.
Hands closed around my wrists and dragged my hands from my face and around a muscular neck. I sat up as if drawn by strings and let Dray hold me.
“Shhhh its okay,” he soothed and for about the thousandth time in a week I marveled at him. He just got done telling me he was crap at this and in the next, almost, breath was doing exactly just the thing I needed. He held me close and pressed a kiss to my bare shoulder. His voice when it came was low, warm and soothing like the bath.
“Come on I think you’re tired.” He reached into the tub by my feet and pulled the drain. I nodded against his bare shoulder. I was tired. He stood me up, soap bubbles sliding down my skin and turned on the shower. I rinsed quickly and shut off the tap and he was waiting with one of those big fluffy towels of his when I pulled back the curtain.
At no time did I feel self-conscious about my nudity while he stood there in his pajama pants. He wrapped me in the towel and dried me briskly pulling me tightly to him in the circle of his arms. He kissed me and I kissed him. We stood inside the candle lit dark of the bathroom and I sheltered against him though how that was possible when the storm was all emotion and raging on the inside of me, I couldn’t tell you. Still, I felt calmer than I had in days as he held me quietly among the flickering glow of the small candles. He smoothed his hands up and down my body over the thick warm towel. A soothing motion that left me swooning.
“Come on Em, time to go to bed.” He whispered and drew me into the dark of his room after blowing out the winking tea lights. A lone fat pillar candle burned on his nightstand in the bedroom and plucking the towel deftly from my fingers, he let it fall to the area rug. He drew me tightly against his body and I sighed, melting into him.
“You make it hard to think.” He whispered and smoothed his hands up and down my arms, my shoulders; the exposed skin of my back. I cuddled against him and relaxed under the touches. It had been a long time since anyone had touched me with any care or consideration. I couldn’t help but eat it up. He turned my hair loose from the knot he’d put it in and it tumbled down my back in careless waves.
“You’re so soft.” He marveled and his lips came down over mine, he was an amazing and patient kisser. His lips brushing over mine hesitantly, tentatively before he deepened the kiss, lips growing more insistent, tongue flicking against the seam of my lips which I gladly parted. Our tongues danced, our bodies melded together and I could feel the hot press of his erection through the thin cotton of his pajama pants. I felt myself grow slick between my thighs and I fought to remember why this couldn’t happen right now. Dray’s mouth over mine stole any ability I had to think and I was suddenly very okay with that. I pulled the draw string on his pajama pants and it came loose. His thick fingers wrapped around my wrist and his hips jerked back.
“You do that I’m not going to be able to stop.” He growled against my mouth and oh god it was hot. I whimpered and sighed out and drew back to look at him. His eyes silently screamed don’t make me stop, but the rest of him was incredibly still, incredibly controlled. I twisted my wrist in his grasp and he let it go and I captured his hand with mine. My other hand on his back I dragged myself against his body and brought his fingers to my folds. This felt right and so I was going with it. I pressed his fingers to my pussy and let him feel how wet I was for him.
“Please Dray, I want you.” I whispered from inches away and his mouth crashed over mine, his fingers slicking through my wetness. I shoved his pajama pants to the floor and wrapped my fingers around his searing length and gently stroked him. He threw back his head and gasped.
“Oh God Em!” I smiled. He gripped the back of my thighs and I gave a shout as he lifted, I lost my balance and crashed laughing on my back in the midst of his bed. The cool air of the room disappeared as he covered me with the warmth of his body. He sucked a nipple into the warm wet heat of his mouth, and palmed my other breast and I gave a throaty moan.
My palm grew slick at the head of his cock with his pre-cum and I used it to my advantage, as I stroked him between us. I was keenly aware of how close he was to my pussy, it wouldn’t take much to line him up… His hand went around mine and stopped me from stroking him. He let my nipple pop from his mouth, red and swollen from his attentions and he turned that burning dark gaze to mine and I lost all ability to draw breath for a moment.
“You keep doing that I’m going to go and I’m not ready for that yet.” He said.
“What are you ready for?” I asked breathy. He bowed his head and cursed and reached over to fish in his nightstand drawer with his other hand. I used the one he didn’t have pinned to the mattress by my hip to touch the side of his face, his stubble scratchy against my palm. He found what he was looking for and propped himself up over me with that fist on the bed and turned to look at me.
“What?” he asked.
“What are you ready for?” I repeated, I needed to hear his intentions, it was suddenly very important. He brought his closed fist between us and looked me very deliberately in the eye.
“I’m ready to make you mine in every way that counts between a man and a woman. Just like I have
been from the moment you kissed me back on that dance floor. You on board with that?” He asked. We were both very still, very quiet in his bed and I nodded rapidly, not trusting my voice.
“I need to hear you say it Em,” he said uncurling his fingers, revealing the condom in its wrapper.
“I’m on board.” I said and dragged his face to mine by his hair. His mouth crashed against mine and all of the pent up sexual frustration of the last few days poured from one to the other and redoubled. We were both suddenly needy, ravenous, and neither would be denied.
He dragged his mouth from mine and tore open the condom wrapper with his teeth. He rolled it on expertly with one hand and I didn’t even consider the implications. I wanted him, needed him with every fiber of my being to touch me, to make me his. I guided him to my entrance and he closed his eyes and made an appreciative growl and sank into me and oh my god he was thick! I mean I knew he was thick, I’d had my hand around him but oh my god! I arched and moaned and gasped as he slowly, carefully worked his way in. His dark eyes burned with so many things, possession, tenderness, and care.
His eyes slipped shut and he turned his head, his expression one of pure pleasure as his body met mine and my arousal heightened. My hands found his and our fingers laced together. He was up on his knees and fully seated inside of me. He pinned my hands to the bed to either side of my head and bowed down above me.
“You’re so tight,” he moaned, “I’m not hurting you am I?” he asked, I shook my head and dragged my hands out from beneath his and palming his ass I pulled him into me. He kissed me and moaned into my mouth and I couldn’t get enough of him.
He broke the kiss and whispered against my lips, “Wrap those dancer’s legs around me.” He didn’t need to tell me twice, I did what I was told and the change in angle was amazing, deeper, like he touched more of me. He drew back and surged forward and found himself a rhythm of short strokes. I tightened around him and he cried out.
I smoothed my hands over the delicious rippling planes of his back, his skin smooth and warm, almost hot to the touch. His thrusts became longer, filled with a barely contained power and urgency. My arms slid up his body and I held on to his powerful shoulders which were corded with the effort to hold his upper body off of mine to keep from crushing me.
