Table of Contents
Title Page
Author’s Note
Other Books By Rachel Hanna
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Wrecked Book 4
By Rachel Hanna
Author’s Note
This is book 4 in the Wrecked series. There will be 5 books in this series, so if you don’t want to miss the release of book 5 in a few weeks, CLICK HERE to be added to the notification list!
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Other Books By Rachel Hanna
Stand Alone Books:
Broken
Love In The Falls
Christmas in Magnolia Cove
Messages
Safe
Second Chance
A Cowboy for Christmas
One More Try
Unbreakable
Warwoman (historical romance)
The Coulter Brothers (Contemporary Western) series:
Lost And Found
Breaking Away
Night And Day
The January Cove Series:
The One For Me
Loving Tessa
Falling For You
Finding Love
The Ruined Series:
Ruined
Forgiven
Chapter 1
“Addy, I think I’m in love with you.”
There were two things I knew for sure. First, people didn’t change—and I was as guilty as anyone. Second, people didn’t fall in love after only a few weeks.
Logan stared at me with those deep, stormy blue eyes as though he could look into my very soul. Sometimes, I really felt like he could, but I knew it was just my imagination. And hormones and lust and all kinds of things that were going on inside me that made me feel like he was somehow different from everyone else.
“And I think you do, too,” he told me seriously, almost demanding that I confirm his suspicions.
But I couldn’t.
“You…” I didn’t even think I could repeat it. I shook my head and started taking a step back as I said, “No. No way. Things like this don’t happen. Whatever’s between us, it isn’t love. We’re not that crazy, not that young and stupid. We barely even know each other!”
But Logan wasn’t letting me back away. He stepped closer to me, both of his large hands coming up to grab my upper arms. It would have been terrifying, really, if it were anyone else. If I didn’t know him like I did. But I could feel the slight trembling in his hands, the hesitation before wrapping his large fingers around me. He was still scared of the kind of man he was, but he was holding on to me to prove a point—to me and to him.
“You’ve changed me, Addy,” he told me, sincerity so clear that it was like a wave pouring out through his voice. “Changed me just by being in my life. From the very beginning. It doesn’t matter how little time we’ve had together or how different we are or anything.”
He pulled me closer and, damn it, I didn’t resist. He was so close now that I could feel the heat radiating off his body, so near to mine. So close that I wanted to be closer, to wrap myself up in him.
We’d only been together once like that. A moment of weakness for me, a moment of strength for him, but it had changed the both of us. He knew it, professing it to me in this very moment, but I wasn’t ready to acknowledge it yet. I couldn’t. I knew that he had altered the kind of person I was, but I didn’t know how yet and I was still so busy still trying to pretend to be another person, that I didn’t even know what kind I was supposed to be anymore.
I felt like some kind of hybrid between the girl I was and the girl I was pretending to be and whatever girl he was making me.
“Logan,” I murmured, hating how low my voice was, how quiet and soft and… tender it was. I shook my head, but he wasn’t done yet.
“I know that… that whatever this is between us scares you,” he told me in a rough tone filled with emotion. “But there is something here and I know what that is. Maybe you don’t yet, or maybe you just don’t realize it, but don’t tell me that you don’t feel what’s between us, because I don’t believe you. This is real, Addy.”
I wanted to argue with him, to tell him that there was nothing here, but the way his hair hung into his eyes, even though it was pulled back, and the way his eyes were swirling with every shade of blue, shining with hope and certainty, I couldn’t. I couldn’t tell him he was wrong.
When he leaned into me, his face inching towards mine, all I could think was finally. I’d been waiting for him to do this again, even though I knew I’d been fighting it and I knew I had to let this go, it was all I wanted in this moment.
His hands moved upwards from my arms, going to my shoulders, so gentle it was almost a glide more than a touch. I felt his hands along my neck, feather light touches that were like whispers against my skin. Then his hands cupped my cheeks, large and warm and still trembling.
He pulled me the rest of the way to him and our lips collided in something that was caught between tender and passionate—like everything between us seemed to be.
My eyes fluttered shut, unable to stay open as I lost myself in the feel of his lips pressed tightly over mine. How soft and warm they were.
A flash of our time together raced through my mind. His hands sliding over my skin, so careful as he took off my clothes. My hands tracing along the graceful lines of his tattoos, the thick scars beneath them ridges that marked his past.
Logan pulled me closer to him, his arms sliding down from my face to wrap around my waist as I lifted my arms to link behind his neck. I wasn’t thinking about it, just feeling, my body reacting all on its own. Maybe his was, too.
When we came up for air, his eyes were sparkling with something bright that I couldn’t chalk up to just lust, no matter how much the rational part of me might try. I couldn’t explain what it was, couldn’t blame it on hormones or a natural biological reaction or anything else scientific.
There was only one word for the look in his eyes, and I wasn’t ready to use it.
“Logan—” I said, and I didn’t know what words would follow his name and I would never know, because right then I saw them.
Walking together, both laughing loudly, boisterous and unsteady on their high heels, was Lexie—and Miranda. They were dressed in skirts way too short for the weather, their make-up done extensively and their hair looking like it had been set perfectly—before they got to wherever they’d just come from. Now, with the way they looked and the way they swayed to and fro, leaning on each other for support as they laughed hysterically at nothing, I knew they were drunk.
It was like ice water on my body, letting me know that everything in this moment was wrong.
I planted my palms against Logan’s chest and pushed, breaking away from him and backing away to put some much needed distance between us. I was breathing heavily from the kiss—and maybe a little from the panic that surged through me at seeing Miranda, Beck’s little sister, swaying drunkenly in the night—and as I tried to catch my breath, I saw him frowning.
He moved as though to take me up into his arms again (I could only imagine what my expression must have looked like), but I saw Lexie and Miranda pause, glancing over in our direction. I took another, larger step back from Logan. I shook my head adamantly and said, “No. I can’t. We can’t.”
He looked more confused than I think I’d ever seen him and I tried to explain to him. But Lexie and Miranda were still looking in our direction, watching me like a hawk. Suddenly, they didn’t seem so intoxicated. They seemed like they were staring with eyes as sharp as daggers, judging me for crimes I wasn’t sure I’d committed yet.
“We can’t do this,” I told him and before he had any sort of chance to argue with me, I pressed forward. “I have to go. I know you think this is something real, but it’s just physical attraction. You’ll find some other girl and she’ll be the one, too, and then you’ll move on.” I ignored the seizing of my chest and added, “You won’t even remember what you were so insistent about. I’ll just be another girl.”
Logan was already shaking his head, building up and preparing the perfect argument, but I wasn’t willing to listen to any of it.
“I’m leaving Logan, because I have to... I… I just have to go.”
And before he had a chance to say anything, I turned away and started walking. For a moment, I was pretty sure he tried to follow me, but I didn’t check to make sure. I had to be strong. By staring straight ahead and pretending like I didn’t care, like none of this mattered to me, then maybe he would leave me alone.
I heard the echoing of his footsteps behind me as he called out, “Wait. Please, Addy, let’s figure this out. Together.”
But I wasn’t listening. I pretending like I couldn’t even hear him and just completely ignored his words. Eventually, he would have to let these things go. He’d have to accept that I was walking away from him.
For good, I silently promised myself.
I noticed silence as the footstep echoing stopped. “You can’t just run away from this, Addy!” Logan called after me, but his voice was already getting fainter. My pace was quick, and I was determined to make sure I drove my position home.
Can’t run from this? I thought to myself. Watch me.
I walked home in a state of numb exhaustion mixed in with a little bit of panic and shock. Addy, I love you. What was he thinking? Did he honestly believe that we could be in love? No, this was clearly some sort of emotional bond developed because of sex… At least, that was what it was for me. It was my first time and it was chemical, for me. I wanted to be around him all of the time, because he was my first and I felt a need to be close to the man I felt for enough to be with.
But chemical reactions didn’t make things like love between two people. It was about time and bonding and finding common ground. None of which we’d really done, right? The moments we’d had together were fleeting, passing. We spent more of the time knowing each other pitted against each other, deliberately attempting to be apart or… well, at least I spent most of my time knowing him trying to stay the hell away from him.
And for him? It wasn’t love, it was probably some sort of game to him. He thought it was funny that I tried so hard to stay away from him—and continuously failed, I admitted to myself miserably—which made him feel compelled to keep trying.
That was it. No love. No deep, meaningful, spend the rest of our lives together feelings. Just a mixture of biology and physical attraction.
All of this sounded very reasonable in my head as I walked determinedly down the sidewalk towards home. I didn’t look back, keeping my gaze forward.
The problem was, I wasn’t feeling reasonable, even if I was thinking along those lines. Inside, I felt like a hot mess. My heart was beating erratically, begging me to go back and tell him that it was all a big mistake. Really, I did want him and need him and I was stupid for constantly being so dead set on pushing him as far away from me as possible.
And while I knew that I couldn’t give into these things, I really, really wanted to. It was all I wanted to do—except for get home and even that would be better with Logan next to me. I wanted him in my room and in my bed. I wanted to repeat our night of passion and wrap myself up in him until I had no room left to think.
Which was exactly why I wasn’t letting my feet slow down, nor could I afford even the briefest lapse of looking back.
It was too risky.
So I walked along the sidewalk, my shoes make a soft echoing sound against the uneven pavement. Above me, an archway of trees followed me creating a canopy that was toned in dark oranges and brush strokes of red. Fall was hitting us hard, so close that I could smell pumpkin spice and apple cider in the air. Soon, Halloween would hit us and parties would abound. We’d be in November before any of us even had a chance to blink, and I’d be awash with midterms.
A welcome distraction at this point.
I wondered how Miranda was doing with her transition, her transferring mid-term, and all the catch up it had to entail. My gut churned with the memory of that moment I saw her standing there with Lexie, walking and talking as though they were the best of friends.
Oh, what a mess that was going to be.
Once, I’d been courteous enough to consider Lexie a friend, or at least a likable acquaintance that I was more than happy to have included in our circle of friends. But the more I learned of her, the less I liked her.
I always knew she was a bit of a party girl—though I had a feeling that I had no idea just how much of a party girl she was—and I knew that she was a terrible flirt, but after the things that were going on with Logan… well, I was starting to think she wasn’t exactly awash in good attributes.
It made me not trust her, and it made me worry about Miranda. I didn’t want to deal with Miranda, because I knew I was in the wrong. I’d ruined the poor girl’s life, taken away her sister and idol, but that didn’t mean I held anything against her. It just meant that the likelihood that we would ever be friends again was practically nonexistent. It meant she would probably never forgive me.
But that didn’t mean she had to throw her life away… by being the very thing she hated so much about me.
Chapter 2
When I got back, Derek was sitting in my kitchen talking with his sister. I froze and contemplated turning around and going right back out the door before anyone noticed me. But it was too late. Kass spotted me and smiled, quickly waving me over.
No escape now, I thought bleakly.
Weakly, I smiled back at my roommate. “Hey, didn’t expect to see you here,” I said, glancing over at her brother to address him. He’d texted me earlier to see if I was interested in hanging out—but I never responded. Instead, I went to see Logan.
What happened there—I did my best to push aside the lingering tingle caused by the feeling of his lips against mine, but his words still rattled around in my brain like loose bolts and spare parts.
Addy, I think I’m in love with you.
I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about him—or considering his argument, And I think maybe you do, too—much less kissing him. I was supposed to be thinking about Derek and how much fun we had together on our date.
Derek got up from his seat at the counter, putting down the mug of steaming hot coffee. Apparently, late night caffeine fixes was something that ran in their family. Kass had her own mug that she was sipping at.
He scratched his head, looking a little sheepish as he answered my question. “Well, I tried texting you,” he told me, which I knew was true. I’d just chosen to ignore his contact. “But I didn’t get a message back. Kass said you’d been feeling a little off lately—”
Kass winced a little as he said this and immediately gave a shrug as if to apologize to me.
I gave her what I hoped was a mostly understanding, only slightly chastising look in return. At least, that was what I was going for.
Oblivious to this quick and silent exchange, Derek continued, “—so I asked if it was cool if I came over.” Maybe thinking that he sounded too forward or aggressive or maybe just embarrassed at his own eagerness, he quickly added, “And if you didn’t want to hang out or weren’t home that would totally be okay, too, since my little sister happens to live here and would be around to entertain me.”
I managed to
get out an only slightly strained laugh as she shoved at his shoulder playfully. “Yes, my purpose in life,” she said sarcastically. Turning to me, she asked, “Where were you anyway? After you came back from studying, I thought you’d be in for the night.”
I did my best to remain neutral when her question hit, despite the panic that flash flooded my system. I couldn’t very well tell her I had gone to see Logan—especially with her brother sitting right there at the counter. And definitely not after I’d just told her that he wasn’t really around me anymore. Not to mention him having another female interest running around twirling her hair at him.
I’m sorry about the girl.
Hesitating for only a fraction of a second, I lied rather smoothly to the both of them. “Oh, I forgot my book in the study room at the library when I left. Had to go all the way back to campus for it.”
The lie was so seamless and I was so sure that neither of them thought twice about my story, even though Kass knew how unlikely it was that I’d forget something school related, especially something important enough to go back for. Probably, she was chalking it up to stress and the revelation of what happened to Beck. She didn’t hate me, she promised, and made it clear she didn’t think it was something I should spend the rest of my life being haunted by.
But you can’t find out something like that about a friend and honestly not look at them differently. I knew Kass was doing her best, but there was no denying that things would always be a little different between us now.
I moved over to the counter and reached for one of the cabinets. Opening the door, I grabbed a mug and put it on the counter. There was still a half pot of coffee on the burner and I was hardly one to turn it down. I’d probably already had enough today, but between the thoughts that kept swimming through my head and my mixed feelings for Logan, I didn’t see sleep in my near future anyway. At least with some coffee in me, I could burn the midnight oil and maybe actually get some useful things done. Like homework.
Wrecked Book 4 Page 1
