by M. E. Brady
“While we danced, he took the opportunity to apologize for not being able to make my parent’s funeral and further explained his absence; he’d had urgent business that had kept him out of the country. I told him that Kevin had already explained it to me but he felt the need to explain it again personally.”
“While Jake was off flirting with another bridesmaid, he had his eye on earlier, I stayed with Gianfranco and we talked and danced. Later in the afternoon, they made an announcement that the bridal party was needed outside for pictures; this time Gianfranco led the way. He put his hand on the naked flesh of my lower back and his touch awakened a sensual being in me that I hadn’t known existed, until that second. I had never in my life wished more fervently that my body were covered with gorilla-like clothing as I had at that moment.” Katelyn smiled as she recalled how embarrassed those new feelings were to her.
“Gianfranco must have sensed my unease when he noticed what his touch was doing to me. He offered his jacket to cover what was exposed for everyone to see. I became openly aroused and he enjoyed being the savage who had caused my momentary lapse in judgment.”
Rosa was mesmerized, almost choking as she begged her friend to continue. This story was better than a movie and Katelyn’s love for this man was evident in the way she spoke about him. “Don’t stop now, this is getting interesting. I want to know what happened next,” she said as she stood up and offered to put their glasses in the sink. It was then that Rosa remembered this story didn’t have a happy ending.
“After the photographer had taken all his pictures, and polite conversing with everyone, we were all ushered back into the reception area. I didn’t see much of Gianfranco again until after all the toasts were done and the cake was cut. He came over to me and asked me to dance the final dance with him. Before he had a chance to lead me out to the dance floor, my brother and Jake practically pounced on him. Kevin said something to him in private and Jake seemed to concur with him. When I asked Gianfranco about it, he simply said they told him who I was and warned him not to take advantage of me or hurt me. I remember feeling as though they all knew something I didn’t. Kevin thought I needed his protection and that angered me, but, I guess, given what history has uncovered, he might have been right.”
Katelyn thought about their first dance together and his thoughtful whispers into her ear as he told her she would always be safe with him. Gianfranco asked her what her plans were for the future and, at the time, she didn’t want to seem as if she were inexperienced or unsophisticated so she rattled on about her plans for college and how she wanted to travel the world afterward as a journalist.
“I tried to sound worldly and confident when, in actuality, just the opposite was true. All my life I wanted to have a family and if I could have stayed at home and raised a couple of kids that would have made me happy. My parents were great role models; I wish you’d had a chance to meet them. My mother taught us both to go after your dreams. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t have something or can’t do something. She always said that even the impossible was possible. My dream was to have a family of my own. I miss them, I’m glad we had them around during the important years of our development but it doesn’t make it easier. Kevin and I were lucky to experience the love they felt for each other and us, even if it ended too soon.” Her mood had suddenly become melancholy as she remembered her parents.
“I stretched my story out to impress him and I went on and on about becoming this famous journalist one day and how those plans didn’t jive well with having a family. I don’t know what possessed me to say that. After all, I was an old fashioned girl and raising a family was high up on my to-do list. I wanted a career, but I also wanted a husband and partner to share it all with me.” Katelyn stood and moved around the apartment a bit before continuing.
“Gianfranco held me in his arms and we danced that last dance as if our lives depended on it. It was hard to think of myself in anyone else’s arms after that. I wanted more from him but I was afraid; I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be with him, in every way. The heightened pleasure I experienced up to that point was coming just from dancing in his arms.”
Rosa was speechless. This was her friend who rarely went out and if she did it was usually with a friend. “This is so insane. It’s like I don’t really know you.”
“The music was still playing when he led me out on to the verandah after our dance. I remember looking up at the stars and silently asking my mother what she thought about him. Somehow, I knew even then that he was going to change my life.” Katelyn was silent for a moment as she slipped back in time and let her memories consume her. She could still hear the music in the background as she turned her attention toward the man who was leading her down this path.
Continuing, “He asked me if I was afraid of him and when I told him I wasn’t, he said I should be. I can still feel what I felt that day so vividly. My body was experiencing such sensual turmoil and it was all at his hand. To say that I wasn’t afraid was an understatement.” Katelyn knew that her knowledge of desire had come from Gianfranco because to this day she had never felt it again. She recalled bits and pieces of their conversation.
“I would never hurt you,” he said as ran his long, masculine fingers down her arm. “I’ve waited so long to touch you.” He hastily pulled his hand away from her body as though it burned to touch her and she could see he was fighting some kind of war within himself. She, at the same time, was trying to make sense of what he had admitted to her.
“What do you mean, you’ve waited so long? We’ve only just met tonight,” she asked. Katelyn was a little nervous and afraid to trust Gianfranco. What he said was strange but Jake and Kevin had trusted this man with their lives.
“Katelyn, I don’t want you to think that I’m some crazy stalker, I’m not. I have heard stories about you for years and, quite frankly, I feel like I’ve know you forever. I have watched you mature into the woman you are now by looking at all your pictures and listening to all the stories from Kevin. I convinced myself that my curiosity about you was harmless. That was until I saw you standing at the altar today.” He kissed her for the very first time; it was gentle at first, he tried with all his might to pull back but she didn’t allow it. Katelyn deepened the kiss herself and, before she could blink, she saw that he was watching her, desperate for her to put a stop to what was happening between them but she didn’t dare.
“I’ve never felt this way about another woman in my life,” he said deepening their kiss yet again. That night was the beginning of the end for her. Any chance to have a relationship with any other man after him was all but destroyed that night. His words were sweet, but, as Kevin and Jake had told her often enough, Gianfranco had always been and would always be a ladies’ man. He was one man who would never settle down, they often teased. Any woman foolish enough to get involved with him would risk getting seriously hurt. “I’ve heard about your numerous women, from Kevin and Jake. Why am I any different?” she asked.
He laughed aloud and kissed the palm of her hand with his lips and proceeded to take one of her fingers into his mouth and devour it. The gesture itself was both erotic and painful to her. She knew what he was doing to her and, if she were smart, she would put a stop to it before it was too late. Gianfranco was dangerous; there was no doubt about it. “I assure you that there have been other women, not nearly as many as you’ve dreamt up in that beautiful head of yours. I never lied to any of the women I dated. They knew from the beginning that I had no intentions of committing myself to any of them,” he had said to her.
“Maybe I want more than just becoming an added notch on your belt,” she said, letting her hands rest behind her on the railing for support.
“I’m not interested in getting you into my bed only to have you slip away into the night. What I want from you, I’m willing to wait for. If I have to…” he said surrendering to her before finishing his train of thought.
Rosa could tell that Katelyn had come
back from her clandestine thoughts because her eyes seemed more focused and less glazed than minutes before.
“We spent the most wonderful eight weeks together. I never thought that would ever happen to me. As the time drew nearer for me to leave for school, I regretted what I had told him when we first met. I wanted him more than I could ever imagine; in my innocence all I could think about was becoming his wife and having his children. I thought he wanted the same thing.” Rosa studied her friend’s face and witnessed the pain the memories brought back.
“I’m guessing he didn’t feel the same way?” Rosa questioned as she watched Katelyn turn away from her. She didn’t answer at first; it hurt too much. Katelyn had convinced herself that, after spending eight glorious weeks with her, he had felt the same way she did. Why he had a change of heart, she didn’t know.
She told Rosa how he persuaded her to allow him to take her to California for her college visit. No one was the wiser because Kevin and Sylvia had taken a lengthy two month honeymoon and Jake was away at the summer camp he ran, for at risk youth. None of the people in her inner circle were aware of the relationship developing in their absence.
“Gianfranco came with me to register for classes and I kept hoping that he would whisk me away and take me back to Italy with him. He had ample opportunity to do just that; the last weekend we spent together there were times that I caught him looking as if he wanted nothing more. But there was always something that held him back. I was desperately in love and he was basically telling me, it’s been fun, but it’s over. He told me he had to go back to Italy and that there was a chance he might never return.” Her face felt damp as she relived those awful moments over and over again in her head.
Rosa handed Katelyn a tissue from the table and ordered her to take a sip from the fresh glass of wine she had just handed her. “Sometimes things aren’t always as they seem. Maybe he had reasons for leaving you back then. Did you ever ask him why he left?”
She didn’t look at Rosa but she felt her friend studying her closely. “I didn’t ask. I was too afraid of what his answer would do to me. It was better for me to believe that his leaving had nothing to do with how he felt about me. When I found out that I was pregnant, a few weeks after he left for Italy, I didn’t dare tell him. I wanted him to stay with me because he wanted to stay. I didn’t want to be that woman, the one who trapped him into a relationship he didn’t want and would later regret.”
“Is that why you left California and came back to New York, because you were pregnant with Jenny?” Rosa asked.
“Yes, Kevin was really great through that whole phase of my life. He offered to let me move in with him and Sylvia but I didn’t want to go to Montana and I couldn’t do that to them. They were newly married and I needed to learn to raise my baby on my own. Kevin and I had agreed before I left for college that it would be best to sell our parent’s home; we did, just before I left for school. I was shocked when Kevin handed me the proceeds from the sale; he said it would see me through my rough times. He didn’t want me to quit school and he didn’t want me to struggle. The money from the sale of the house and some other money my parents left me not only paid for school but allowed me the freedom I needed to be a good mother.”
Rosa had always known that Katelyn and Kevin had shared a special bond but she had more respect for the man after hearing this story. Kevin Donavan was a great guy in her book and if he weren’t already married she would have tried to snag him herself.
“All that time your brother never suspected that Gianfranco was Jenny’s father? What about Jake, he was around you all the time; didn’t he try pressuring you into telling him about Jenny’s father?” In fact, Rosa was surprised that the man she had come to know in Jake hadn’t figured it out for himself at some point. Jake was a great guy too, he was around a lot, so Rosa got to know him pretty well. She had always believed that he was hiding some deep secret of his own and told Katelyn as much.
“You seem to be forgetting that they weren’t around that summer to know that Gianfranco and I had been seeing each other. As far as they knew, Gianfranco had gone back to Italy directly after the wedding and I had enrolled in summer classes in California. It was easy to keep my secret from them. Kevin and Jake assumed that Jenny’s father had to be someone I had met the first few weeks of classes or during my visit to Berkley over the summer.” Katelyn recalled the wounded look on Kevin’s face when she told him she was pregnant. “He wanted to go after the guy for money to support the baby but I wouldn’t allow it.”
“I convinced Kevin that Jenny’s father came from a wealthy family and that, if he was told of her existence, I might be forced into a marriage with a man I didn’t love. It’s ironic that being forced into a marriage with someone who doesn’t love me is exactly what I’m most afraid of now.” Katelyn was having trouble telling her story through her tears but she could see that Rosa was having an even tougher time listening to the tales of her painful past.
“It must have been hard for you, being alone. With Kevin living in Montana when Jenny was born you must have been lost.” Rosa said as she made herself more comfortable.
“Yes, but I was lucky; my mom’s best friend still lived in the neighborhood and had just the year before become a widow. She had time to help me out; it helped with her loneliness as well. She became a surrogate mother to me and a grandmother to Jenny. She took care of Jenny for me while I went to class and worked my part time job. After graduation, getting a full time job wasn’t all that difficult. I’d gotten excellent grades and I had super referrals. Jake and Kevin were well known in their fields and had their connections and their connections had other connections. One connection of Jake’s connections was a friend at Glitz magazine and that was how I landed my first interview. I’ve been with Glitz ever since and that is where I first met Adam. He and I have known each other a very long time.”
Rosa smirked at the mere mention of Adam name. She joined Katelyn on the couch and she could see what a toll these last few days were taking on her friend. Rosa had told Katelyn about the poor opinion she had of Adam before but she didn’t know why. She had kept those feelings to herself because they had no merit to them, none that she could prove. Yet, there was something about Gianfranco Broccolini that didn’t make sense to her either. She couldn’t put her finger on it but she didn’t think that the relationship between Katelyn and Gianfranco Broccolini was over, not in his eyes, anyway. Katelyn wanted to believe they were a thing of the past, but after this week Rosa wasn’t so sure.
Rosa watched Katelyn close her eyes and rub either side of her head with her fingers. The stress was getting to her and her probable headache was an apparent sign. Rosa went into the bathroom and grabbed her friend a glass of water and some aspirins. “When are you going to tell Gianfranco about Jenny? You should before this stress takes its toll on you.” she added, handing over the glass and the pills.
“I’m not sure. I wanted to tell him everything yesterday but things didn’t go the way I wanted them to. I know one thing for sure; I really need to see Kevin. I always feel more confident after a visit with him. My mind is always clearer when I bounce things off him. Whatever happens after my visit with Kevin is anyone’s guess.” Katelyn knew that, if she were able to spend a few days with Kevin, she would feel more grounded and able to handle whatever came her way.
“Are you going to be able to sit that close to the father of your child on the plane and not tell him? Katelyn, his child will be sitting inches away from him. Aren’t you afraid that something about her will seem familiar to him?” Katelyn knew that Rosa was right, besides, trying to hide this secret from him, was turning her into a bundle of nerves.
“You know, all he has to do is ask Jenny when her birthday is and you’re sunk. He’s not a stupid man; eventually he’ll figure it out. He didn’t get where he is by being oblivious to what goes on around him. What about Jenny, don’t you think she deserves to have him in her life?” Rosa questioned curiously.
Ka
telyn knew that everything her friend was saying made sense; there was no use denying it. Jenny had a right to have Gianfranco in her life. After all, he was a good man and he most definitely would be an even better father. Katelyn was the problem, not Jenny. Could she stand to have him in their lives when he didn’t love her? She didn’t doubt the physical attraction between them was still easily ignited with a mere touch but would that be enough to sustain a marriage. She was sure he would insist on making their union legal, for Jenny’s sake. The desire they felt for each other was irresistible but was it enough?
More importantly, she wondered if Gianfranco could ever grow to love her. She needed that commitment from him. She glanced at the clock on the wall and winced, seeing how much time had passed. She needed to call Adam and end things between them officially before she left for Montana. Leaving their relationship hanging in limbo wasn’t fair to him and she wanted it over.
“I can’t make any decisions about Gianfranco right now. I have to call Adam, apologize for all that has happened and end it, properly.” She reached for the phone as Rosa shook her head, as if to say she was making a mistake.
She felt that if she settled things between herself and Adam, she could move forward and turn her attention to the most difficult obstacle in her life, the dark Italian whose eyes haunted her since the first day they met. She knew that telling him about Jenny was going to be hard and she had doubts about whether or not he would forgive her. There was also his anger; she would have to face that initially. She did have one thing going for her and that was his ignorance right now. She could probably work that to her advantage for a second or two. It was up to her to decide where and when this conversation would take place.
