by Barb Shuler
“Baby, I just mean that your…”
A growl escaped me as his lips pulled up at the corners.
“He’s trying to say your bitch is showing,” My grandmother said before she walked over to me and kissed my cheek. I snorted as both Grandfather and Jarrod grumbled something. “My girl, you will be a royal pain in the ass soon. I welcome this. As long as you remember your place.”
“Where is that?” I asked.
“You are Jarrod’s mate... That is why you are, erm, drawn to him,” she said leaning into me to whisper in my ear, “sexually.” She straightened up before she spoke again. “He is yours, forever.”
“Uh… oh… oh,” I said wide eyed. “I’m- I mean we…”
“Yes, if you will have me, I am yours,” Jarrod said, falling to his knees before me. He pulled me close and buried his face between my breasts and I groaned.
“Is this something you can handle, Angel. Do you want to stay here, safe under the enchantment? You will still be able to see your mother and father. You can come and go as you wish, as long as someone is with you. We still have to keep you safe from danger.”
My grandmother was smiling as I glanced at her. Her words filling me with happiness. I nodded.
“I will. I do. Yes,” I spluttered.
“Then, it is done. Jarrod, you may take your mate to your cottage and we will expect to see you both at midnight for the ceremony.”
“Yes, my Queen.”
13
There was something about this story that was tugging more and more on my memory. It was as if I’d hear this before. I wrinkled my brow, confusion rolling through me. What was it about this story that had me feeling anxious? I let out a small breath and closed my eyes again. Letting his voice lull me into relaxing again. I catalogued everything he read, trying to keep it all together in my mind.
There had been much I had to process over the last couple of hours. The fact that I was a shifter, my parents and grandparents had been holding information from me. It was a lot to handle, though I also had a mate. A man that will be with me forever. He wanted me and, by God, I wanted him too. There was no way to turn him down.
He had spent the last couple of hours worshipping my body. I was his and he was making sure I knew that. Over and over again.
My body was all his, every inch of it, as was my heart.
“Jarrod!” I cried out his name as my body convulsed under his massive, muscled body. We both shook with an orgasm that I swore had me seeing stars. My breath was heaving from my body and yet, I was not ready to let him go. I squeezed myself around him. His grunt as he jerked inside me one last time made me smile. I ran my hands up his arms and over his shoulders to his face, cupping it in my hands.
“You said yes, you know that means you are mine forever?” he asked me before I could say anything.
I nod.
“Yes. I think… I’m not sure of everything, but I know what I feel in my heart. This is right, you and me, I mean. I will learn as I go, but you have to let me fall sometimes.”
“Never,” he growled.
I squeezed his face lightly between my hands.
“Hush. I don’t mean literally. I mean, that could happen. But, I have to learn all about this life. About our family and all of that. I don’t know the rules and stuff. I need to figure that out so I don’t have another angry moment that gets me in trouble. I can’t have Grandmother slapping my face again. That freaking hurt,” I huffed. Okay, it was more like a pout.
“She only did that to show the others that even you, her blooded granddaughter, would not get away with speaking to her in such a way. We do not disrespect her. She is our leader, and though even I may be stronger than her, she is my alpha. I do not step on her toes and I stay alive.”
“Oh, I see. So she is the leader, and you all obey her commands?” I asked, my brows wrinkling in thought.
“Yes. She is the boss. We listen or get our asses kicked. Or, we get dead, depending on the offense.”
My hands moved to his shoulders as he rolled us over. This left me straddling his lap. His cock still filled me and it felt so good. I rocked slightly. The sound of his moan filled the room. I relished the fact that I could make him hard, so hard that it made me feel like I was going to split into two. I leaned down as I rocked my hips against his.
“Does this mean that I will get punished if I misbehave? Will you spank me?” I asked playfully as my lips brushed his.
“Yes, until you beg me to stop,” he growled out as he nipped at my lip.
His massive, warm hands gripped my ass and squeezed. I rocked a little harder against him. I panted out his name as I was lifted up his shaft and then pushed back down so he filled me completely. My hips and his strong hands worked us both up into a frenzy. My body tingled. I felt that bubble rumble inside me, my body starting to change.
Our orgasms hit and my scream became strangled as my body jerked.
At first, I thought it was my body’s reaction to the mind blowing orgasm. There was nothing like the way my body responded to Jarrod’s but this was different. Very different. It hurt. A lot. A small pain-filled moan escaped me, my breath stolen by what felt like an electrical current shooting through my veins. Jarrod had me in his arms in an instant.
“Relax, love.”
My body shook, the pain of my muscles tearing, the small snaps of bones breaking. It was too much. I fought for control.
“Let it take you. Let the change of your best take you, baby. Don’t fight it, flow with it.”
I could feel him moving us out of the cottage. The cool night air ran over my skin as the coolness of the wet grass licked at my naked body. His massive body shadowed me on the ground. With each jerk of my muscles a new pain would shoot through me, but it eventually ended. My body was pushed to its side by Jarrod. I needed air. I was panting and it took me a moment to half stand up. My body wasn’t working as I wanted - needed - it to. A howl rang out through the night air and suddenly we were surrounded by wolves. I whined, a slight panic singing through me. I tried to jump up, only to fall over.
I felt like a clumsy child just learning to walk. My head lowered and I saw it then. I had paws, not feet under me. A growl of unease escaped me. I looked to my side and yep, there was a somewhat bushy tail. Holy... maybe this was all a weird dream like before. I didn’t have paws or a tail. I’d wake up in bed and it would all have been a dream.
Something felt weird though. The way my stomach tightened and felt as if I wanted to barf a lung up gave me pause. If this wasn’t some weird, sick, twisted dream.... I really was a wolf.
I tried to get to my feet, no, my paws and wobbled slightly again.
“Easy, my girl. You need to remember you are on four legs now. It takes a moment to get oriented.” My grandmother patted my head as I stood. My legs felt like jello and were shaking but at least I was standing.
Each wolf around us went down on their front paws, heads bowed, asses in the air. Their tails tucked. I’d seen this once… on a wildlife program. They were showing submission, if I remembered correctly. Whoa.
“Let it be known. The red wolf has returned to us. May she be as strong as I, and bear us the finest warriors there will be. Jarrod,” Grandmother said, calling my mate to us.
He came forward in his hulking wolf form. Grandmother moved before us and cut a long mark across her forearm. Holding it out Jarrod moved to lap at the blood. When she held her arm to me, I did the same.
“Blood of my blood, bound to his soul, I welcome you, great red wolf. We are but your humble servants, and as such, you shall be the savior of this race. I bind you to me, I bind you to your pack, and I bind you to your mate. Blood to blood, spirit to spirit, heart to heart. Ye shall bleed and be as one from this day forth.”
She moved to place a collar around my neck. I grunted but watched as she did the same to Jarrod. “These will protect you when you are no longer on these grounds. Collar and chain, they bind you to this place, to the enchantments bestowed up
on us.”
A chorus of howls went up around us. I scanned the area to see every wolf in the clearing around Jarrod’s cottage were on their feet. Noses in the air, howling.
It was excitement... for us? I could only guess.
A large black and grey wolf, with white tipped ears came towards us. As he came to a stop he fell over and went onto his back. He gave his neck to both Jarrod and I.
I sneezed and shook my head.
What. The. What?
When Jarrod moved to him and nipped at his neck I just knew it was Corbin. I moved towards him and licked his face. I did like him, as a man, so I was sure I’d like the wolf. My mind went to that now dirty place that had me picturing Corbin pleasuring Jarrod while he pleasured me. I shifted on my feet and shook. My coat of fur shifting around me.
I felt a jolt as Jarrod bumped me with his shoulder. I playfully growled at him. His eyes twinkled. Oh yeah, this was the start of something new.
“Go, run, we will have a celebration dinner of your union when you return. And Jarrod, take care of my girl, or I’ll make a rug out of you.”
I barked out a laugh and nipped at his flank before I took off running. It was as if my body knew what to do already. I was flying through the forest. Jarrod was big, but fast. He caught me in no time.
We ran. We were together. We were free.
If I had known this was what laid in wait I’d have wished for it moons ago. The wind in my face made a howl rip from me. Jarrod’s booming howl filled the air with mine as we ran.
Where we would stop, no one knew, but one thing was for sure. As long as I had my big black wolf at my side. I’d always be home.
14
I’m still laid out on the bench, my eyes opening slowly as I take in a small, cleansing breath all while listening intently as he finishes up the last part of the page from the book he was reading from.
There was something so familiar to me about this story. My mind rolled, racing with ideas and I tried to fit the puzzle pieces of them together. Images, things I’ve only seen in my dreams were floating across my psyche. It was a little unnerving.
I sat up slowly, his fingers falling from where they had been playing in my red locks. It was the most calming part of the entire day. I love to feel his fingers in my hair. I moved to push a few strands of hair behind my ear, my eyes going to the ground under my feet.
I blinked a few times to clear my head of what I was seeing. My feet were no longer covered by sandals. I had paws for feet. I jumped up and pulled my purse to my shoulder. I needed to get myself together.
“I um… I need to-” I trailed off as I turned and started back up the path the way I’d come. My eyes closed briefly and images once again flooded my mind. Wolves running free in the trees. Wolves playing in a river, water splashing up around them. The bite from an attack.
My heart was racing, pounding against my rib cage, painfully. I started to shake. The fear raced up my spine.
I didn’t make it far before he was in front of me. His voice, a soft caress against my skin as he spoke, “please, do not run from me.”
“I- what’s happening?”
He takes in a deep breath, gives my hands a squeeze and meets my gaze.
“What was happening a moment ago. You were okay, then, you freaked and tried to run from me,” he said, perplexed.
I open my mouth to answer him but shut it just as quickly. How- no, why would I tell a stranger about my dreams. Granted not all were bad. Some had me waking up covered in a sheen of sweat from pure ecstasy. Others, I woke screaming as I was attacked by… something. I never saw it coming.
“Do not fret about telling me. I will not think any different of you. I promise,” he says smiling. The dimples have me calming just as much as his warmth wrapping around my hands. He tugs me back towards the bench we just vacated. I reach out and pick up the leather bound book. It was warm from his touch.
A familiar scent rises from the pages as I pull it up to my nose. Roses. The book smelled like roses. I smile and sit the book in my lap. I run a finger across the wolf that’s laying on the leather front of the book.
He doesn’t say anything, nor does he try to stop me from opening the book. It’s as if the pages call to me. It’s so familiar. My fingers run along the pages as I flip each one. There were dates and pictures drawn on some of the pages. Scribbles here and there as well. It is all a little disconcerting at first.
The pages are the story of Angel and Jarrod. All written in a neat print that I was very familiar with. My fingers move from the page, flipping another over to scan the words there. With each page, each special little note written on the pages between the stories, which were really diary entries dating back hundreds of years, more tears come to my eyes. Words from Angel about the love she held for a man that had stolen her heart many years ago.
Scanning the pages, I read something new, past the pages he had already read from. My heart skips several beats as I read the words.
Thrice my life has been cut short and thrice I have been returned to my true love’s arms. Each death is different, unexpected. At least, it should be. In each life I learn of the inevitability of my own death, but the knowledge of when and where it will take place is left unknown. However, with each of my deaths comes my rebirth. After my second death, I chose to begin documenting my lives, my experiences. Passing on the knowledge I acquire along the way. My intention is for this journal to become a guide for my future selves to follow on their own journeys, their own paths of rediscovery. A roadmap to who and what we are intended to be.
I am Angel Cunningham, a rare red wolf of the Oswald pack. I was born, for the first time, in the last year of the sixteen hundreds. In seventeen-fifteen, while tending the fields alongside my mother, I went to the river to cool my face and wash myself up for dinner. It was here that I was stalked and attacked by a man of ill repute. He was strong, stronger than any man I had known. He took what he wanted from me and left me for dead.
A black wolf, one much larger than any I had seen before came to me as I took in what I thought would be my last breaths. They, however, were not to be my last, thanks to him. After weeks of being feverish and sick with chills the full moon saw me shift onto all fours as a wolf for the first time.
I’m rare. I don’t say that to sound as if I’m boasting of myself but it is true.
That rarity means that once they discover my return to this plane and my mate, they will again come for me. Unless we find a way to thwart the spell cast upon me as a newly shifted wolf, a fate thrust on me for the crime of simply being made, then I will forever be destined to die, my mate forever cursed with the fate of having to await my return only to have me ripped from his arms once again. Each cycle ending in my sudden death, my mate forever unable to prevent it or save me from it.
This book, the book of my many lives, is meant to help you see that you and I are one in the same. These pages are written with spelled ink that only my mate and I can see. Go ahead, test the theory, it’s okay. Jarrod has already had a good many laughs at my expense over this, on more than one occasion.
We are always looking for a way to stop the spell. I do not wish to leave my mate again. As you read through the pages in this book, as you read about my, our lives, remember that each day is precious. Each moment should be filled with as much joy and happiness as you can stand.
Grandmother and Grandfather still live with the family, our pack, on the enchanted grounds of the Ridgewood Forest, our pack’s land. Mother and Father still live just down the path on their part of those lands. The pack grows from time to time, so there will be a few new faces when Jarrod takes you home again.
This is a lot to digest, I get that. It’s the reason I started this book, this journal of our lives. The memories will flood you and, it’s possible, it could be debilitating for a few days once it starts. We are sensitive to Magic, this may help you save yourself if something goes awry.
I scan the rest of the page and flip to the next. I let my fing
er slide down the line of words as I read, flipping each page carefully.
I stop on a newer entry. The last entry in this section to be exact.
I'm afraid this day shall be my last for a while. I can feel the life forces being pulled from me as it must have the previous seven times I have left my love. I am not sure what triggered it, but I can note that I was on the other side of the enchantment when a dart of some kind hit me. I felt nothing, scented nothing around me, until I was hit. Poison most likely.
Do not be afraid to love him, but be mindful of the enchantments. Once you are outside of that protection you could be taken away from Jarrod at any time. I don’t know if this will keep you (me) safe for longer this time. Maybe Jarrod and Grandmother will have time to figure out how to stop this madness before our next lifetime.
Angel
January 5, 1998
My heart stutters out a beat as I pause, blinking back more tears. I close the book and pull it tight against my chest. I look around finding myself sitting in the dark, the park bench cold under me. I let out a small, shaky breath. I look down at the book and the scent of roses assaults my nose again.
“What do I do now?” I whisper to myself. There was no one else here. I look around for Jarrod but see nothing. I wipe the tears away with my free hand and take in a bigger breath.
There was so much to take in. If I was not having some kind of hallucination and this was all real, I would grow fur and big teeth, now at the moon and have a mate. I can’t say I’m a fan of the word “mate” it’s kind of Animal Kingdom-ish but, I guess it could be worse.
I close my eyes and let the images and memories fill the space. A small smile tugs at my lips. I can do this. I will figure this out. They always said I was an old soul… now it’s time to prove that you can teach an old dog new tricks.
I chuckle at my thoughts. When my eyes open they are met by a set of golden eyes. There was no fear, no urge to jerk back from them or run. The hulking black wolf before me nudges my free hand, which had fallen to my lap. My fingers open wide and I slowly reach up and stroke over his fur. After a few seconds, I scratch him behind the ears.
