‘Little brother, I would commit actual physical murder for one.’
‘Okay, I’ll assume that’s a yes. Here, sit down.’
Will sank back against the sofa cushions and groaned softly while Ash went into the kitchen. Will’s brain felt like it had been buried under rubble.
‘I take it from the state of you that you had a good time at Eliot’s,’ Ash said when he came back in, handing Will a mug.
‘Must’ve done.’ Will took a reviving mouthful of coffee. ‘How did you know I was at his?’
‘You texted me. Don’t you remember?’
‘Did I?’ Will took out the mobile Eliot had given him back that morning and flicked to his sent messages.
Having drinks with Eliot and Freya. Might stay at his if it’s a late one. See you in the morning :-D x
Hmm. His memory of the night before was hazy at best, but he was certain he’d never sent that. No amount of whisky was enough to make him start adding emojis and kisses at the end of texts to his brother.
Had his friends unlocked the phone with his fingerprint after Will had passed out? That raised some interesting pranking possibilities. Still, he definitely owed the Millers for stopping him from making the most catastrophic confession of his life.
‘Sorry,’ he said to Ash. ‘Had a few too many, you can probably tell.’
‘Too right I can. You look awful.’
‘I feel awful,’ Will mumbled.
‘Well, I’ve got just the thing to cheer you up. They arrived this morning.’
‘What?’
‘Hang on.’ Ash went galloping upstairs and came back in with a pair of hangers, each bearing a reflective blue blazer with enormous sequinned lapels.
‘Tada!’ he said. ‘One each. What do you reckon?’
Will shielded his eyes from the glare. ‘I’m not sure my hangover can cope with that much sparkle. What’re those horrors?’
‘They’re our costumes. You know, for the Eurovision party.’
‘What country do they represent then?’
‘Don’t you recognise them? They’re from the “My Lovely Horse” episode of Father Ted.’ He grinned. ‘Don’t worry, I won’t make you sing.’
‘Seriously, matching outfits? I’m getting traumatic flashbacks to nursery school here, Ash.’
‘Come on, it’ll be a laugh.’
‘Yeah, all right,’ Will said, smiling. ‘We’re missing an open goal not going as Jedward though.’
‘Exactly, too easy.’ He pulled a face. ‘Plus, you know. Jedward.’
‘So what did you do when you got back last night?’
‘Had a glass of wine with Rob and her folks, in bed by eleven.’ He shook his head. ‘I can’t believe I’m the sensible one now. What’s happened to us, Will?’
‘It is a bit Freaky Friday. Still, you’ve got a lot of years to catch up on so don’t get too smug.’
‘You are okay, aren’t you?’ Ash hung their costumes on the door and sat down. ‘Seriously, bruv, I’m worried about you.’
Will sighed. ‘Oh, I’ll be all right. I think I’ve caught your midlife crisis. I’ll get over it.’
‘You’re not planning to run off to Australia as well, are you?’
‘Australia…’ Will frowned as a memory from the night before assaulted him. ‘Dunno.’ He shook himself and forced a smile. ‘Anyway, I’m going to finish my coffee in bed. I’ve got a lot of hangover to sleep off before work tomorrow.’
Will started to push himself to his feet, but Ash put a hand on his arm.
‘Don’t go yet,’ he said. ‘I’ve been waiting for you to come home. I want to run my plan past you.’
‘What, for the Eurovision thing? There’s a month yet – it can wait another day.’
‘Not that, my date with Rob on Saturday. This is crucial. I have to get it just right with the proposal or I’m going to end up back where I was before.’
Will turned away. ‘Ash, I really can’t do this now.’
‘Please, Will. I don’t want to mess this up.’ Ash’s eyes were full of earnest appeal. ‘Come on, I need you.’
Will hesitated, then sighed and sat back. ‘All right, kid, what’s the plan?’
‘It needs to be something impressive. I still thought hot-air ballooning – I mean, with the theme of the club and everything. And then I thought a big romantic gesture of the Say Anything variety. I could get my phone to play our song and make a sign that says “Marry Me”. What do you think?’
‘Ash, are you sure about this? She’s not even your girlfriend.’
‘That’s exactly why I need to do it,’ Ash said with a determined expression on his face. ‘Why did we break up? Because I was a big kid who couldn’t face a committed relationship. Now I need to show her I’ve changed – that I’m really ready.’
‘So soon though? One kiss doesn’t make a relationship.’
‘I’m certain this is the right thing to do, Will. This’ll get her back, I know it. And when it does, I’m never letting her go again.’
Will sighed. ‘All right, if you’ve made up your mind.’
‘So, how does my plan sound?’
‘I didn’t know you two even had a song. What is it?’
‘Well, okay, we never did have an official one,’ Ash admitted. ‘I do remember what was playing when I first asked her out though.’
‘What was it?’
‘Pink, “So What”.’
Will snorted. ‘Right, yeah, very romantic. A song she wrote to get her own back on some knobhead ex. And that’s really what you think you ought to go for given your history with Robyn, is it?’
‘Okay, fair point,’ Ash conceded. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll think of something suitably mushy.’
Will shook his head. ‘It won’t work, Ash. All this stuff – signs, hot-air balloons. It’s just not Robyn.’
‘It’s romantic, isn’t it?’
‘Yeah, in a generic sort of way. You need to make it about her, not just recycle something from a film. Show her how special she is.’
‘Hmm.’ Ash glanced at his iPad, which he’d been using to browse ballooning experiences. ‘How though? I mean obviously I know she’s special, me better than anyone, but I don’t see how that can translate into a date.’
‘Well, you’ve known her long enough. What does she like?’
‘She likes… Christmas.’ Ash brightened. ‘Hey, I could get us tickets to Lapland.’
‘Ash, no. No expensive gestures. If you really think this proposal is the best thing to do, you need to keep it low-key.’
‘All right, what would you do in my situation, smartarse?’
He blinked. ‘What, how would I propose to Robyn?’
‘Yeah, since you seem to have all the answers.’
Will gazed thoughtfully into his coffee.
‘I’d take her to Hull,’ he said.
Ash snorted. ‘Of course. Hull, the romance capital of Britain. Are you still pissed?’
‘Seriously. Robyn loves anything quirky or odd. If it was me…’ He went quiet for a moment, smiling slightly. ‘There’s a big aquarium in Hull, with a glass-walled restaurant where you can eat surrounded by sharks and things. She’d love that.’
‘Bloody hell,’ Ash said, blinking. ‘That’s actually a great idea. So you think that’s where I should do it, pop the question?’
‘If you like.’ Will fell silent again. ‘But if it was me, I wouldn’t. I’d take her for a meal, then we’d go to the fair.’
‘The fair?’
‘Yeah. There’s always a fairground somewhere in a coastal town. I’d ask her to marry me on the pirate ship ride, just when it got to the highest point and you could see out over the marina. Take her breath away right before it plummeted.’
‘I couldn’t go down on one knee on a pirate ship ride.’
‘That’s okay, she’d prefer you not to. Just lean over and whisper, then give her a flash of the ring. Sweet and simple.’ He smiled, then flinched hard. ‘Sorry, Ash, I need to g
et to bed. My head’s splitting here.’
‘Okay.’ Ash gave him a one-armed hug. ‘Thanks for the advice, bruv. Hey, who knows? You could be on best man duty again within the year.’
Will fought against a sudden urge to cry.
‘Yeah,’ he said, forcing a smile. ‘Good luck, kid.’
36
At around 3pm on Easter Saturday, Robyn brushed down what she was wearing and went to answer the door.
She was in jeans, heeled boots and a loose-fitting top, since Ash had refused to tell her a thing about where they were going. That should cover most eventualities without being too dressy. She didn’t want to look like she’d prepared for a date, even though she was certain that’s what this was. In fact, she’d decided to classify it as a making-your-mind-up date, in the spirit of Eurovision season.
There was no her and Will. There never could be, she knew that. There could be a her and Ash – there were no barriers of guilt or family to prevent that happening – but she still wasn’t sure that was what she wanted. Not after the way she’d been hurt by him before. Not when her brain was full of someone else; someone whose physical resemblance to Ash just made her situation all the more complicated.
So now it was time for making her mind up. Ash, or someone else, or, if it came down to it, eternal singledom. Today would show her the way. To Ash or not to Ash, that was the question.
She fixed on a smile as she opened the door, trying not to let her worries show in her face.
‘Hi, Rob.’ Ash leaned forward to kiss her cheek. ‘You look nice, love.’
She scanned what he was wearing. Similar to her: smart jeans, his second-best trainers, open-necked shirt. Not too dressy, not too scruffy. Not too datey.
‘You too,’ she said, stepping out and locking the door. ‘Where’re we going then?’
‘I’m afraid I can’t tell you. This is Ash’s Mystery Tour.’
‘You’d better not be trying to get me up the Empire State Building again.’
‘Nope, we’re off to somewhere a million times more exotic than New York. It’s a bit of a long drive. I hope that’s okay.’
‘I guess so, if you think it’s worth it.’ She followed him to the car.
*
‘Harrogate?’ she asked when they’d been driving for about an hour. ‘Is it a spa evening or something?’
‘Wrong. Care to guess again?’
She smiled. ‘Go on, give us a clue.’
‘All right. You might say that where we’re headed, there’s something fishy going on.’
‘Oh! The coast? And also, groan.’
‘Good, Rob. You’re getting closer.’
‘Whitby?’
‘Nope.’
‘Scarborough then.’
‘Nope.’
‘Not Brid?’
‘Wrong again.’ He grinned. ‘You’ll never guess.’
‘All right, I give up. Tell me.’
‘Ah, but that’d ruin the surprise.’
When they reached their destination, Ash turned his car in the direction of the marina.
‘I’d do jazz hands, but I’m driving,’ he said. ‘Impressed?’
She cocked an eyebrow. ‘Hull?’
‘Hull, the Paris of the North.’ He pulled into the aquarium car park. ‘We’re having a fish supper.’
They entered the building and took a lift to the restaurant. The table Ash had booked for them was bathed in deep ocean-blue mood lighting, right next to a large screen through which could be seen all sorts of colourful sea life – angelfish, sea turtles, stingray, jellyfish, even sharks. A bottle of wine was waiting for them.
‘Oh my God,’ Robyn whispered. ‘Seriously, this is where we’re having dinner?’
‘Yep. And since I’m driving, I expect you to do justice to that wine on your own too. Do you approve?’
‘Ash, I love it. It’ll be like eating under the sea.’
‘If you start singing Little Mermaid numbers, I might have to pretend I don’t know you.’ He pulled back her chair for her and planted a kiss on her cheek as she sat down. ‘I’m glad you like it, Rob.’
‘How did you know about it?’ she asked, opening her menu.
‘Will told me. I knew it’d be right up your street.’
She smiled. ‘So we’re abandoning the spare ticket ruse now, are we?’
‘Busted,’ he said, laughing. ‘Do you mind?’
‘Not if I get to eat with sharks, no.’ She beamed as a stingray wiggled towards them and pressed its nose – or whatever fish have instead of noses – to the glass. ‘Ash, look! I made a friend.’
‘Ask for a doggy bag. Maybe they’ll cook up some chips and let you take it home.’
‘Shhh,’ she whispered, swiping at him with her menu. ‘He can hear you.’ She shot her new fish buddy a thumbs-up. ‘Don’t you worry, Flappy. I’ve got your back, mate.’
‘God help us, she’s naming the fish,’ Ash muttered. ‘And I was going to have the trout as well.’
*
‘Thanks, Ash,’ Robyn said, taking his arm as they wandered along the marina afterwards. ‘I’ll never forget that.’
He smiled at the arm hooked through his. ‘I’m glad. How was your duck?’
‘Lovely, thank you. You could’ve let me pick up the bill though, after you drove us all the way out here.’
‘Can’t do that, can I? Not when I’m trying to make things up to you.’
She looked away. ‘Don’t talk about making things up to me. Not when we’re having such a nice time.’
‘Sorry, Rob.’
‘So, home again?’
‘Not yet.’
‘Why, where’re we going?’
‘For a walk. About half a mile, think you can manage that?’
‘Hey,’ she said, tapping his arm. ‘I didn’t have that much wine. Where are we walking to?’
‘You’ll see.’
She smiled. ‘Full of mystery tonight, aren’t you?’
‘Certainly. I told you, this is a mystery date.’
‘Aha! I knew it was a date.’
‘Can’t get anything past you, can I?’ He nodded to a cluster of flashing lights in the distance. ‘That’s where we’re going.’
She frowned. ‘A fairground?’
‘Yep. I hope it won’t make you won’t chuck your duck breast all over the waltzer.’
‘I think I’ll be okay.’ She leaned over to kiss his cheek. ‘I’d love to go to the fair with you, Ash.’
When they reached the entrance, Ash paid them in and they wandered around arm in arm, looking at the rides and games.
‘So, what first?’ Ash said. ‘I could try to win you something. Note the emphasis on “try”.’
‘Since I’ve let you pay for everything all night, my feminist sensibilities tell me I ought to try and win you something.’
‘All right. Test Your Strength? I’ll think you’re ever so macho.’
‘I think Hoopla’s more suited to my pathetic little arms. Come on.’
They went on the Hoopla, laughing even though they failed to win a prize, then the carousel, the dodgems and the spinny windmill ride. Ash won a small cuddly lion on the Hook a Duck, which he was inordinately proud of, despite having spent about four times the value of the cheap toy on the game. Eventually, Robyn nodded towards the exit.
‘It’s getting late,’ she said. ‘We’ve got a long drive back. Shall we go?’
He pointed to the pirate ship. ‘Can we go on that first? I bet you can see the whole marina from the top.’
‘If you want.’
‘This was mine and Will’s favourite when we were kids,’ he said as they climbed in. ‘Here, sit right at the back, that’s the best spot.’
‘Okay.’
‘So, here’s what you do,’ he told her. ‘Strap yourself in, then put your legs out straight and your feet flat against the board. When it goes right up, you can push yourself into a standing position. That’s how you get the best views, if you’re not too scaredy
-cat to try it.’
‘I can see I’m in the presence of an expert.’ She glanced at the ride operator as he cranked the thing up. ‘Here we go.’
‘Arghhh!’ she yelled as they went up, pushing her feet against the board like he’d said. ‘You’re right, Ash, you can see the whole town!’
Ash wasn’t looking at the town. He was looking at her: the way her eyes sparkled with delight as the boat soared. God, she was beautiful. Will was right: this was the time. Here, now, the way he’d always remember her.
‘We’ll go even higher next time,’ he yelled over the sound of the other shrieking passengers. ‘Hold on to your socks, Rob.’
‘Is this it? The highest one?’ she asked on the boat’s fifth rock.
‘No, the next one, I think. Hold on.’
Robyn gripped the rail with both hands, but Ash didn’t. He slipped one hand into his pocket and took out a little box, holding it tight. If he dropped it now, his whole plan would be ruined.
‘Ash, this is incredible!’ Robyn yelled as they reached the highest point.
‘You’re incredible.’ He pushed the box under her nose, flicking it open. ‘Marry me, Rob.’
She frowned. ‘You what?’
‘Hang on, we’re going down.’ He put the ring into his jeans pocket before the boat swung towards the ground.
‘Ash, what… shit, we’re going up again.’
‘I said, marry me!’ He laughed. ‘You know, maybe this wasn’t the best idea. Wait till we get off.’
Eventually the boat came to a standstill and the pair of them staggered off, giggling dizzily.
‘You daft pillock,’ she said. ‘What the hell was that?’
‘Here.’ He took her arm and guided her behind one of the rides.
‘What’s going on, Ash?’
‘I won’t go down on one knee when I’m this light-headed. But I mean it.’ He took her hand and pressed it to his lips. ‘It took losing you to make me realise you were the only girl for me, but I know it now. I want to be with you. Have kids with you. Be the other half of you. I love you, Rob.’ He drew her into his arms. ‘Now what do you say, eh? Will you have me?’
‘Ash…’ She drew her fingers over his smooth cheek. ‘Did you bring me here just to ask me that?’
‘I needed the right setting. I mean, if a man can’t get himself a wife in Hull, where can he?’ He ran his hands down her back. ‘Give us a kiss, Rob,’ he whispered.
The Never Have I Ever Club Page 29
