by Annie Boone
She was leaving the place that had been her home for more than ten years and moving to a land that until now, had only existed in stories and newspaper headlines for her. She was worried about what would happen when she got there and her husband-to-be didn’t fall in love with Thomas immediately.
In all fairness, Ella had every intention of telling the man she began corresponding with about her son. She didn’t want to have any secrets or appear to be deceptive in any way. But when she began talking to the Dr. George McCade he seemed almost too good to be true. She didn’t want to ruin what seemed to be the perfect situation for herself and Thomas.
And then, as weeks turned into months, there didn’t seem to be a proper time to mention it in her letters. By the time the coach ticket arrived, Ella began to feel a sense of desperation and dread seep into her soul. She kept that feeling to herself and was only mentioning it to Frances now because she couldn’t hold it any longer.
By the time it occurred to her that she really should have divulged this information to her husband-to-be, she felt almost trapped in the home where she had worked with her late husband. She wanted to leave a soon as possible.
She could not bear to be there any longer. Everywhere she went, Ella would have vivid and now painful memories of him standing in the hall, or calling her name. Everything in the home was a reminder of him. A strange feeling covered Ella and the longer she stayed, the sense that she was smothering got stronger.
Sometimes she felt that her memories were haunting her. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Those memories were supposed to be comforting and happy, even if they were still bittersweet. Now they only managed to cause more pain.
Ella had realized that if she’d had to start all over finding the right mail order husband, she would have had to stay in this house longer. That was something that she was sure she could not do. She needed to get this show on the road so she could leave the sadness behind. She could only do that if there was someone waiting for her on the other side of the country.
Chapter Five
Looking down at her sleeping child now, she smiled and whispered quietly in his ear, “Everything is going to be just fine, my sweet, little Thomas. The good doctor is going to love you and although your father will never be forgotten, I am confident that this man will raise you as his own.”
During the long, bumpy ride to Belmont, Nevada, Ella had plenty of time to think. She thought about her new life and her old one. She tried to imagine what it would be like to not be a servant and she was thrilled at the thought of being the lady of the house.
The coach driver said that they should be on the road for about 24 days. She hoped Thomas managed to remain a happy baby after this long journey. She also hoped she would be in good humor when they arrived at the station, for this would be a long and tiring trip.
As the trip lengthened she was reminded that she had spent the majority of the last few months trying her best not to think. Everything she did after William died was aimed at helping her survive the grief and take care of her son. She put as much effort as possible into her plan to move out west, but she had pushed away the thoughts about the information she withheld to make the move possible.
The coach trip was almost over now and Ella was stretching her legs and giving Thomas a chance to enjoy some fresh air during their stop for supper. As she looked into his beautiful face, she replayed the day he was born in her mind. That had been the best day of her life. Welcoming a son to their family with the man she loved had been a dream come true.
They shared their hopes and dreams for his future. As proud and responsible parents they planned a life full of rich learning and happy times for their precious Thomas. There was never a worry that William wouldn’t see his child’s first birthday. Why would this be a concern? He had been healthy and strong until the moment he was taken ill.
Suddenly saddened by this thought, Ella realized exactly how long ago that time now seemed. Everything about her life had changed so drastically, it barely felt like she was the same person. For the last ten years, she had been a wife and a maid. She had been happy. Now, she was a widow and a mother on a journey to change her life.
Even though her son brought her the greatest kind of joy she could ever imagine, she felt as though she would never be able to get back to the place of happiness and contentment of that time right before William’s death.
As she attended to her son during this brief stop, she vowed to reclaim the cheerful spirit of the woman she had once been. She was slowly making peace with the loss she had sustained and allowing the possibility of a happy life to become part of her again.
Eventually, doubt began to seep into her thoughts and override her good intentions. She wondered, if this doctor was as wonderful as he made himself out to be, then why was he still single? Surely, even with the shortage of women in the western towns, doctors and other prominent figures of the community were easily married off.
Yet, Ella tried to rationalize his situation. She wondered if perhaps he had suffered a loss as she had. Was he a widower? It wasn’t unheard of for women to not be able to withstand the brutality of life in the West. Maybe she had divorced him and moved back to her home.
Over the last few days of the coach journey, Ella convinced herself that Dr. McCade had a story behind his single status. She had fantasized that he was waiting until he saw her face to face to share his heartbreaking story of loss and survival. She had actually begun to hope that the circumstances she had concocted in her mind would be the doctor’s reality.
Of course, she didn’t want anyone to feel the horrible sense of loss and despair that she had faced, but she couldn’t prevent those sorts of things from happening. If fate did play out that way, then she was convinced that they would be good for one another.
Perhaps this is God’s way of consoling to spirits who have found themselves in a great amount of pain, she thought. As she pondered what was to come next for her, it struck her that he might have children that he was raising alone. She now wondered if there would be children to greet her when she arrived in her new town.
It didn’t take Ella long to concoct a scenario where she would raise the doctor’s children alongside Thomas. This thought made her smile. She was sure she and William would have tried for another baby when Thomas was older. Having a house full of children would be an adventure that she would relish. It would be good for her son to grow up with siblings even if they wouldn’t be related by blood.
When the coach finally bumped abruptly into the station, the livery attendants rushed to the coach to tend to the horses. There were other assistants to help people get down from the coach and others who retrieved the passenger’s trunks.
Ella was anxious to be on her way. The fantasy she had created in her mind had changed her mood from desolate over her deception to hopeful. She could hardly wait to get into the receiving room to meet her new family.
Gathering the small bags she had with her, she pulled Thomas to her and got down from the tall coach. She scanned the people who were waiting for the passengers to get off of the train and she smiled at the prospect of being introduced to a family, instead of just a future husband.
Walking into the receiving room, Ella saw many families, but none of them was missing a mother figure, so her eyes kept wandering. Her step became light and inspired in spite of her fatigue after the long and difficult journey. She was looking forward to a bath and a very long nap, but she couldn’t even think about that until she found out about the people who were about to become a very important part of her life.
She decided to wait on her trunks on the edge of the receiving room against the wall. She was watching the people to find the one she was looking for. She was suddenly overcome with gratitude for a safe trip and a hopeful spirit. She bowed her head and prayed.
Dear Lord, please forgive me for keeping Thomas a secret from the doctor I’m here to meet. I pray that You will be able to help me make that sin right. I thank you for a safe jo
urney and keeping the danger along the way at bay. Please help us keep our eyes on You as we learn the best way to build a new life together. Help me be the kind of wife that You would have me be, Lord. Amen.
Chapter Six
Ella opened her eyes and raised her head after her short prayer. She was a bit startled to see a grizzled older man striding toward her with a decidedly nasty scowl on his face.
“Ella Barber?” The man asked in a calloused, unfriendly tone.
“Yes, sir. I am Ella, indeed,” she answered.
She was a bit taken aback that George McCade had sent someone else to pick her up. He had told her in his last letter that he would be waiting on her in person when her coach made it to town.
Well, he is a man who is in demand. He’s very important. Perhaps there had been an emergency, she thought.
“Get your things and let’s go,” he growled. “My wagon is just outside that door over there.”
Ella’s mouth dropped open. She was in shock that anyone would speak to her in this manner. She hoped this man would find a way to get into a better frame of mind very soon. She doubted that her Dr. McCade would appreciate his servant treating her in such a rude manner. If he didn’t straighten up very quickly, she would share the unfortunate information with him when they finally met.
Ella tried to be cordial because she felt that being as rude as he was wouldn’t help her situation at all, She put her hand out to shake his hand in greeting after shifting Thomas over slightly, and he ignored her hand.
She blinked back her surprise and stared at him with wide eyes. Thomas was starting to get uncharacteristically fussy after the long trip and the stuffy wait inside the station receiving room. She tried bouncing him to calm him, but the whole scenario was about to get even worse.
“Excuse me,” she said to the man, “but could you please share your name with me? I’d like to know who will be taking me to meet Dr. McCade. Where is he, by the way?”
“What in the world do you mean?” the old man barked. “I’m Dr. George McCade.”
“You’re Dr. McCade? Dr. George McCade?” She said loudly with great alarm.
Her high pitched retort pushed the unhappy Thomas over the edge and he began to cry. Ella felt the floor drop out from under her. She didn’t feel equipped to handle the sobbing Thomas and the unpleasant doctor at the same time.
People were milling around the station and the scene being created by Ella, her son, and her husband to be was drawing attention. This made Ella very self-conscious, but she was not going to back down from this horrible man.
“You bet I’m the doctor! You owe me an explanation, I think. Who is the child? When will his mother be collecting him? Why did someone leave a child with you, anyway?”
“This child is my son,” Ella said with more confidence than she felt. All the hopefulness she had pulled out of herself on the trip to Belmont, Nevada in the coach had melted away with his mean attitude and unkind words. Instead of slumping her shoulders and bowing her head in shame, she looked this man straight in the eyes. If he was going to berate her, he wouldn’t get help from her to make her feel worse.
“You’re telling me that you have a child?” the doctor asked. He was getting angrier by the minute. “I was under the impression that you were coming here alone. Why is this information just becoming known to me?”
His angry eyes bore down on Thomas with the most hostile intensity Ella had ever witnessed. This unveiled hatred triggered Ella’s maternal instinct to protect her son. She pulled him to her other side away from the man and covered him with a light blanket.
“I will not speak to you about this issue if you continue to raise your voice to intimidate me. I will not allow you to speak disparagingly of my son. So, get your ire under control and lower your voice immediately if you wish to discuss this matter,” Ella answered sternly, glaring at him.
“Woman, just tell me why you tricked me. Surely you didn’t think you could get away with foisting a child I knew nothing about on me?” he demanded.
“Tricked you? Do I look differently than the photo I sent you? Didn’t you recognize me right away from it? And don’t you dare lie about that! I saw you walk right over to me when there were other women my age that could have been me,” Ella shot back.
“I am not interested in raising another man’s boy!” shouted Dr. McCade.
“And I am not interested in being a caregiver to a decrepit, sour old man!” cried Ella. Then she bit back the next words she was going to say. She closed her mouth into a grim line and started trying to pick up her bags. She was overloaded with the bags and Thomas, too, but she kept trying.
Finally, she realized that she just couldn’t get it all herself and started looking around the large room for a porter to help her get her things. She turned her back on the man while comforting Thomas, bouncing him on her hip. She raised her hand to a man who could assist her.
The porter acknowledged her with a head nod and came to her side. “Can I help you, ma’am?” he said politely. “Do you kind folks need help with your bags?”
“Yes, I do,” Ella responded sweetly.
“No!” George McCade bellowed at the same time.
The porter looked back and forth between the two of them in confusion.
“I also need help getting to the nearest hotel,” continued Ella. “Can you assist with that?”
“Yes, ma’am, I can,” he responded.
“Just what do you think you’re doing?” George butted in.
Ella stopped and took in a deep cleansing breath. “I am taking care of myself and my child. You have turned out to be a difficult and unpleasant man. I have no desire to spend a minute longer with you,” Ella told him in a very calm voice.
Dr. George McCade hung his head. Ella wasn’t sure if it was in shame, defeat, or strategy. All that mattered at that moment was that she felt like her message had gotten to him. He stopped sputtering and he seemed to start calming down.
“There’s no need for you to go to a hotel. I have a place for you to stay,” he said quietly.
“Thank you, sir, but it will be a hotel for me and my son tonight,” she replied. “Tomorrow may bring something new, but I’ll worry about that later.”
The porter had started pulling her trunks to the porch where there were transport wagons available in the street. George watched him and then spoke up. “Son, put those trunks into the wagon parked there across the way.”
The porter nodded and headed toward the doctor’s wagon as he had been told. Ella didn’t protest, but looked at him in question.
“I’ll take you and the boy to the hotel,” he said.
Ella nodded curtly and followed him to his wagon.
When Ella’s belongings were safely stowed in the wagon, she looked at him. “You owe me a very big apology. It was rude to speak to me in such a manner especially in public to make a scene.”
“I’m certainly not apologizing to someone who showed up under false pretenses.” The doctor crossed his arms over his chest in defiance and began to pout.
“And you feel no guilt at all over bringing me out here pretending to be a young and successful doctor? I believe you need someone to take care of you in your twilight years and that’s actually why I’m here,” Elle responded. Then she pointed her index finger at him emphatically. “And you can stop pouting. I don’t feel moved in the least by that tactic.”
“Well, I wasn’t expecting to have to become a father when you landed on my doorstep! A few years shaved off by me and a whole other life you never mentioned are two very different deceptions!” He yelled, this time so loudly that people passing by on the street began to stare.
Ella was so angry by his outburst that she didn’t even care that people could hear them shouting at each other. She couldn’t stop this argument because for her it had progressed too far.
“You are mistaken, sir. We have discussed a romantic arrangement. I came here to become your wife, not your servant. Were you even intending
to marry me?” She demanded. Thomas had been drowsing in his mother’s arms but the loud conversation was something he wasn’t used to and he was edgy and fussy because of it. Ella started cooing to him and he settled down right away.
After watching this, the doctor glared at her and lowered his voice. Moving in closer to the mother and her son, he hissed, “I had every intention to marry you.”
“Did you expect for us to live as husband and wife?” she glared back at him.
When Ella asked this, the doctor sighed and looked up to the sky. He took a deep breath and answered, “Let’s get into the wagon and get you two to the hotel. I’m sure they will have a comfortable room available for you. When we get there, we can talk more privately.”
Ella considered this for a moment and then realized that there was a small crowd of people staring at them now and so, she nodded, “Alright.”
She settled into the seat and got Thomas situated securely. As they started the short journey to the hotel in town, her head was spinning. She had so many emotions coursing through her and she felt as though once again, her world had completely shattered.
What have I done? She thought. She felt panic rising in her chest, but she knew she had to keep her wits about her. At least as much as possible. She had journeyed thousands of miles to marry a man who was older than her father would have been. She had argued bitterly with that old man in a public place where many strangers had heard that argument. Looking back on the events since she had arrived in Belmont, she was mortified.
The man didn’t say much as they made their way across town. Ella thought that he was stewing and she could relate. While she wanted to know why he would go to such lengths to get her out here, she didn’t feel much like talking to him about anything.
He pulled up in front of the hotel and stopped the wagon. He sat there for a moment without moving a muscle. Finally, he said in a quiet voice, “My wife died.”
Ella waited for a moment, feeling as though he might say something else, but when he didn’t she answered in the same tone as he had given her, “I’m sorry. My husband passed away as well.”
