Jim had wanted her to give up work and become a lady of leisure. But she liked her job in the Borough Surveyor’s department. Mr Hedley, her boss, was very nice and so were all the girls. But after coming back from her wonderful honeymoon, she could see the housework wouldn’t get done by itself.
Pearl loved her new home. The kitchen, one large living room and two bedrooms were modest, but they were also a safe distance from Villa Road, though she could walk to Roper’s Way in under ten minutes.
Pearl was eager for Ruby to call but she too was working hard. Brewer’s was now an armaments factory and busy helping the war effort. Ruby was also learning first aid in her spare time, a fact that brought a smile to Pearl’s lips as Ruby didn’t have a strong stomach.
Pearl lowered her groceries to the kitchen table. Last night she’d hung yellow gingham curtains in the kitchen-cum-scullery, and Jim had painted the brown larder a shade of blue. There was a drop-down work surface on the tall cupboard and underneath, space for crockery. Next to this was a stove. It was old but still worked well. A set of heavy lidless pans stood side by side on the shelves by the door, and four battered ones Gwen had left still hung on the wall. Pearl’s dad and mum had given them their old wireless set and it stood on the shelf beneath.
Jim had distempered the dark walls a soft green. He’d stuck back the loose flowered tiles around the fireplace, and the wooden mantel shelf had come up shiny with a polish. An old-style wind-up gramophone had been left in the corner, but the needles were worn out. Jim had bought Pearl a very nice beige settee and two armchairs. The suite wasn’t new but it was clean and looked elegant beside the maple bookcase.
Pearl went to change her clothes. Their bedroom was her favourite place. She shivered in delight as she thought of the wonderful nights she and Jim had cuddled in the big double bed. They had bought it from one of the girls at work who had evacuated. The shiny maple headboard squeaked a little but Jim had managed to oil it.
Pearl thought how lucky she was as she threw off her shoes. A wonderful husband and beautiful home, all to her taste. Even the dressing table with triple mirror reflected a woman’s touch. A frilled curtain hung round it under the glass-covered top. On its surface were her personal effects: hairbrush and comb, hand mirror and her most prized possessions, three little frosted-pink jars in which to keep her jewellery. Jim had given them to her as a wedding present.
She hadn’t yet thought about what to put in the small bedroom next door. There was just a camp bed in there and boxes. But in time, it would convert to a small bedroom or nursery.
Would she get pregnant soon? Would she be able to carry a baby after what had happened to her? Dr Cox had said he couldn’t see why not.
Pearl sat down on the edge of the bed. Suddenly the memories came flooding into her mind as though a dam had burst. It was just before her seventeenth birthday when she met Ricky at the club. For her it was love at first sight, or so she thought. Because of their age difference he’d persuaded her not to tell anyone they were going out; they were too much in love, he’d insisted, to allow anyone to spoil their romance. At first he’d paid her all the attention she could want. Taken her up West and to Lyons, walked her along the Embankment and bought her small gifts, telling her how beautiful she was. But as soon as she’d given in to his demands, he’d treated her indifferently, making her do things she disliked so that she felt ashamed of what she had at first thought was the romance of her life. Then she’d missed her monthly, and another, and had felt sick, too sick not to know that she was pregnant. Pearl pushed her hands over her face as she couldn’t stop the memories from tumbling back, along with all the pain of losing that little life inside her.
There was a tap on the door and Pearl stood up shakily. She had been lost in a nether world, where the past and all its emotions had become alive again. Unguardedly she had let it all in and now her legs felt like jelly. Pushing back her hair and trying to compose herself, she went to the kitchen door. It was a shock to see Ruby standing there. She looked very smart and pretty.
Ruby threw her arms around her. ‘Oh, I’ve missed you, Pearl.’
‘And I’ve missed you. Come in, come in.’
‘Did you have a nice honeymoon?’
‘Wonderful. I’ve been longing to tell you about it. But you haven’t been round.’
Ruby looked away. ‘I wanted to give you a chance to settle in.’
‘We’ve been home three weeks. I called at Mum and Dad’s and they said you were on another course.’
‘Yes, more first aid, though I can’t say I’m Florence Nightingale.’ Ruby looked round the kitchen. ‘Oh, Pearl, you’ve done this up lovely. Just look at them curtains!’
‘I ran them up by hand.’
‘Is that a new settee?’
‘Yes, do you like it?’
‘Better than our old one at home.’ Ruby walked round, giving little oohs and ahs.
Her strawberry-blonde hair was turned under and tucked behind her ears. The light-coloured jacket with padded shoulders looked new. It was then that Pearl had a pang of nostalgia as, being the same bust and waist size they had always shared their clothes. They suited the same colours, both having blonde hair and green eyes. Clothes rationing had started on 2 June. Pearl decided that Ruby must have used a lot of coupons on the jacket.
‘Was this expensive?’ Pearl asked, touching her sleeve.
‘Don’t know. It was a gift.’ Ruby sat down on the settee. Looking at Pearl she gave a small shrug. ‘From Ricky.’
Pearl sat down quickly. She felt her tummy turn over as she looked into her sister’s eyes. ‘So you’re still going out with him?’
‘As a matter of fact, that’s why it’s been difficult to get round. We spent all the time together that we could, before he was posted.’
Pearl looked down in her lap. She was trying to disguise her disappointment and Ruby saw it.
‘I take it you still don’t approve?’ Ruby said, her tone rising. ‘Is it to do with what went on at the wedding? Why Jim took such a dislike to him? To be honest, Pearl, I’m baffled. I mean, Dad thinks it was just high spirits, and Ricky says they’d just had a glass too many. But even so, I don’t understand what went on. Do you?’
Pearl knew if there was ever a time to share her secret with Ruby it was now. But shouldn’t she have told Jim first, a little voice inside her head demanded. He’s your husband, he has the right to know the truth. How could she tell Ruby about the past and not tell Jim? What would Ruby think of her? She looked up at Ruby and knew that she couldn’t find the courage. Lowering her head, she shook it slowly. ‘It was just a misunderstanding.’
‘Well, it must have been a big one. Jim had Ricky by the collar.’
‘It was like Dad said, a bit of horseplay.’
Ruby was silent, then said in a husky voice, ‘Pearl, I want you to know that I love him.’
Pearl bit her lip hard, trying to calm herself. How could Ruby love him? He was the one man on earth that she shouldn’t be loving.
‘I can’t understand it,’ Ruby pressed again. ‘Are you upset with me?’
‘No, course not.’
‘What is it, then?’
‘I just want you to be happy.’
‘Then give me a hug – please?’
As she pulled Ruby against her, Pearl felt the tears fill her eyes. Why was this happening? She wanted to be happy for Ruby but how could she be?
Ruby was just leaving when Jim came up the stairs.
‘Hello, Jim. Pearl said you’ve had a wonderful honeymoon.’
He kissed her cheek. ‘You bet.’
‘She told me all about it.’
‘Not all, I hope.’
Ruby smiled. ‘Only the best bits.’
Jim looked her up and down. ‘So where are you off to, the Savoy?’
Pearl saw Ruby blush. ‘No, I’m going to my first-aid class.’
‘Go on, pull the other one. Bet you’re being wined and dined.’
‘No, not t
ill Ricky comes home.’ She looked at Pearl and before Jim could reply, she ran down the stairs.
Jim turned, his expression dark and angry. ‘Did I hear right?’
‘Yes, but please don’t get upset.’
‘Of course I’m bloody upset.’
‘Come in, we don’t want everyone to hear us.’ Pearl closed the kitchen door. ‘Jim, you haven’t even kissed me.’ ‘Listen,’ he said, throwing down his lunch box in an angry gesture, ‘your sister is playing with fire and, God help her, she’s going to get burned.’
‘Jim, she’s all grown up. There’s nothing I can do to change her mind.’
‘Yes there is, if you tried. You’re like two peas in a pod. She always takes notice of you.’
‘It’s different this time,’ Pearl protested. ‘She thinks she’s in love.’
‘That’s ridiculous! And you should put her right on the subject.’ He took hold of Pearl’s arm. ‘Sit down. I’m going to tell you something. And perhaps after what I’ve said, you’ll come to your senses.’
‘What about your dinner?’
‘It can wait. Now sit down.’
Pearl sat on the kitchen chair. She felt her happy world crashing down around her. Ruby wouldn’t listen no matter what she said, and Jim was angry with her for something she had no control over.
Jim loosened the straps of his overalls and sat on a chair. ‘Winters and me were members of the Dockland Settlement Club as you know. We was at each other’s throats from the off He did everything for show, and me and the lads couldn’t stomach it. Our company wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t until he chucked in the Docklands Rowers for the Essex Flyers that people began to see he didn’t give a toss for the club, or the island, for that matter. He wasn’t born here, just worked for the PLA and lived in digs. No one knew him and he only joined the club ’cos there was nothing else around.’
‘But I thought you always won the rowing,’ Pearl said helplessly.
‘Not against the Flyers we didn’t. They had better boats, good men and the time to train. Sounds like green-eye, don’t it? But he is a rat. One of the worst.’
‘I’ve never heard you talk like this before.’
‘And I don’t want to now, as I promised a mate I’d never tell a soul.’ There was a long silence. ‘Danny’s family and hers wanted it hushed up and I gave them me promise that they could count on me.’
‘Danny’s family?’ Pearl whispered.
‘My cousin, Danny Shorter, lived over Blackwall.’
‘I didn’t know you had a cousin on the island,’ Pearl said, bewildered.
‘Danny was Mum’s nephew–her sister’s boy. Mum didn’t have much to do with her sister as she married into trouble, apparently. The two sisters never spoke and Mum don’t know about this–but I was friendly with Danny. We didn’t have no grievances, in fact I like him a lot. He was a good kid, a bit rough round the edges but he was solid enough and worked on the roads for the council. When Aunty Madge died, Danny took up with Gladys. She was a bit of a daft moo, but Danny was saving up to get spliced. Then Gladys had a bit of a fling with guess who.’
Pearl swallowed. She knew the answer without Jim saying.
‘Yes, lover boy. He got her up the duff, then gave the poor kid the boot. She jumped off one of the bridgers. Lived over Ebondale Street. Surprised you don’t remember that.’
Pearl felt as though someone had hit her. She didn’t remember Gladys but she could remember her dad reading out a sad article in the newspaper. ‘Wasn’t it an accident?’
‘It was made out to be, for the family’s sake. But it was his fault.’
‘Ricky’s?’
‘Danny came round my house the day he found out she was pregnant. Gladys’s dad thought Danny was responsible, but Gladys admitted who the real culprit was. Had to really, as she and Danny hadn’t done nothing. So her dad and Danny goes round to Winters and he laughs in their faces. Said Gladys was up for it and more fool them and they can’t prove a thing. So they give him a good hiding, don’t they, but a hiding don’t mend the damage he’d done to an innocent kid. Gladys’s parents never said anything because they didn’t want their girl’s name dragged in the mud.’
Pearl shivered. She knew how Gladys must have felt with a baby on its way. But she must have been desperate to jump into the river and end her own life.
‘So you see, there’s no love lost between Winters and me. I don’t know how he had the gall to walk in your parents’ house. He hates my guts and I hate his.’
Pearl listened to Jim’s voice filled with bitterness. ‘But what can I do?’ she asked. ‘Ruby thinks she’s in love.’
‘Then you’ll have to snap her out of it.’
‘Jim, how can I?’
‘You’ve always looked out for her. Can you really stand by and let her make such a mistake?’ He stood up and pushed his hand through his untidy hair. ‘If Ruby gets tangled up with him, she’s not the sensible girl I thought she was. Though it has to be said that most women seem to be fools where he’s concerned. Her heart will be broken, I guarantee it. I want nothing to do with him, Pearl, and I don’t want him near you.’ He held out his hand. ‘Now, give me that kiss we haven’t had.’ He took her in his arms and kissed her. But it wasn’t with the same passion they usually shared. Once again Ricky had come into their lives and poisoned it.
Chapter 4
All through July, Pearl listened with dismay to the reports on the wireless. The Russians were fighting bravely and resisting the Germans but what was to become of all those poor people caught in the crossfire? To Pearl it seemed as though everyday a new conflict had been added.
One August evening Jim came home with not one but two newspapers. He was intrigued by world events and would sit and pore over the news. ‘Listen to this,’ he said as his dinner grew cold and he buried his head in the newspaper. ‘Winnie and Roosevelt have met in secret. They’ve made a pact. They ain’t gonna let the Nazis walk all over us any more.’
Pearl sat down at the table. ‘All it says,’ she frowned, tracing the line of text with her finger, ‘is that they met on a fishing trip to discuss the situation . . .’
Jim gave a howl. ‘Read between the lines, love. Take my word, we’ll soon have the Yanks on our side.’
Pearl gazed into her husband’s bright eyes. ‘So, if the Americans are with us, that’s good, isn’t it? They’ll frighten Hitler off.’
‘Not without us, they won’t.’
‘As long as you aren’t involved.’
He took her hand. ‘Pearl, me heart is involved already.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘No bloke worth his salt will stay at home.’
‘Don’t say that!’
‘If things come to a head, I’ve got to put me hand up.’
She froze as tears filled her eyes. ‘Jim, you’re scaring me.’
‘Do you want us to win?’
‘Yes, but I don’t want to lose you.’
‘Who says you’ll lose me?’ He smiled, that lovely white smile that had the power to light up her insides. ‘Anyway, I’m not gone yet.’
She threw her arms round him. ‘I won’t let you go.’
‘Oh, Pearly-girl, I love you so much.’
‘If you love me you wouldn’t be talking like this.’
‘I’ve got to. The war is coming closer.’
‘I know, I know, I hear it all the time. I listen to the girls at work, to where their husbands are, or were, or they don’t know where they are, or they wait for letters, they dread the telegrams, they can’t eat or sleep because of their men and – oh, Jim – I don’t want to be one of them!’ She clutched him tight, pressing her face into his rough collar and smelling the metal smells and dust and oil that were ingrained in his overalls. She loved everything about him. Even though they had their tiffs, it was wonderful making up.
He patted her back. ‘You mean everything to me, sweetheart, and I think you know it. But after this war I want to live in a country th
at’s free and not ruled by a crazy dictator. A world where you can speak your mind without being chucked in a concentration camp for your beliefs.’
‘But we don’t have them in England!’ Pearl protested weakly.
‘Only because we’re a democracy. We’ve a ting-a-ling on the throne, and freedom of speech. We can vote in every election. We take it all for granted, but it will all disappear if Hitler has his way.’
Pearl twisted out of his grasp. Her heart was thumping. ‘I know all that. I’m as patriotic as you or anyone, but I don’t see the sense in you joining up when you can do as much – if not more – for your country at home.’ She wrung her hands. ‘Seems to me this isn’t about the call-up, it’s about you wanting to put on a uniform like Ricky Winters.’
As soon as the words were out she regretted them. Jim’s lips turned down slowly at the corners.
‘So that’s what you think?’
She hung her head. ‘I didn’t mean it.’
‘But you said it.’
‘Jim—’
Rising to his feet, he snatched up the papers and stuffed them under his arm. Without a word more, he left. She listened to his boots on the stairs. What had she done?
Going to the landing, she looked over. ‘Jim! Jim!’
Fitz Hemsley came out from the storeroom. ‘You after Jim, love?’
‘I – no, not really.’ She didn’t want him to know they’d had a row.
‘Done a bunk, has he?’ Fitz chuckled. ‘Escaped to the pub?’
‘Yes, I should think so.’
‘You two fire-watching tonight?’
‘Yes.’ Though the bombing wasn’t as bad, they still had to do their part.
‘Gwen saved two rashers for you today,’ Fitz shouted up. ‘They’ll do nice for Jim’s tea.’
‘All right. I’ll be down.’
Fitz returned whistling to the storeroom.
Pearl sat at the kitchen table. Why had she mentioned Ricky? Why had she said such a thing? Is that what she truly thought? Was Jim envious, even jealous of Ricky? Oh, she knew he hated him because of Danny, but was there something deeper?
East End Angel Page 4
