The Euclidian: Unforeseen Alliance

by Jay Cannon

  “Great, I’ll transfer fifty credits to you as soon as I get them.”

  “No, you’ll give me a private techno dance when you get back from your mission.”

  “What? I’d rather give you one hundred credits!”

  “I’d rather get two private dances.”

  “Argh! You’re worse than the men at the Bordelle Bar.”

  “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  “Sure, but if you touch me I will crush your face.”

  “I miss you too and look forward to your return,” Belo ended with a smirk.

  It was 7:70 and the two men that lost the bet to Yoyo walked into the door of the lounge. This is going to be a fun evening, Yoyo thought.

  “Hello gentlemen,” greeted Yoyo. “I’m surprised you two showed up.”

  “We are not ones to welch on a bet,” one of the men responded. “Plus it was recorded in our UCD so it would be difficult to ignore the obligation.”

  “Glad to hear it. Why don’t you two put on these hot pink thongs under your clothes and come back at 7:90. I’ll let everyone know you’ll be dancing starting at 8:00.”

  “You must be kidding lady. I’m not wearing that or stripping.”

  “Me either you little rip-off artist.”

  Yoyo raised her glitter glasses and addressed the two. “Gentlemen, do I look like someone who enjoys being ignored? You get dressed in those thongs like I asked you to and be back by 7:90. Understood?!”

  “Yes Yoyo,” they replied in unison.

  After the two left Yoyo sent the announcement about the planned entertainment and finished familiarizing herself with her drink station. Once she was comfortable with making drinks, she placed herself online and awaited for her first drink order to arrive. It took a while for the first one, but soon the drink orders started coming in.

  “Hey lady, I’ll have a Marnician hinsar juice.”

  “Can I get a Pushan ball blaster?”

  “Get me a Chasen brain stun.”

  “Hi cutey. Could you make me a fresh Tammarian grog?”

  “Yes! I’d be happy to sir,” said Yoyo with glee. The moment I’ve been waiting for. “Here you go sir.”

  “What’s this bit here?” Asked the patron.

  “It’s a Tam stick from the Tammarian caves. You stir the grog with it and then suck on it.”

  “Really? That sounds a bit odd,” said the patron. “Why didn’t you just give me a straw,” he said walking off.

  “Hmph,” sounded Yoyo crossing her arms annoyed by the patron’s statement. However, a few seconds later he came back raving about the extra flavor and sensation that the Tam stick gave the drink.

  “What is this thing you gave me? The patron asked. “It’s quite yummy.”

  “It’s a Tam stick from the caves of Tammaria. You can only get it from me and it only works with drinks made with the Tammarian abbig fruit such as Tammarian grog. The stick should last you a couple of days depending on how much you drink.”

  “Can I get another one?”

  “Sorry, only one per customer. It should last you a while though. Next week you will be able to buy as many as you like.”

  “Thanks barmaid.”

  “The name’s Yoyo.”

  “Yoyo it is then.”

  He spread the word about the Tam sticks and within thirty minutes her supply was depleted. Just in time for Yoyo to greet the two climbers in their sexy dancing outfits. Now Yoyo was going to liven up the place. She put on a headset microphone and addressed the patrons in the lounge.

  “Hello everyone. Can I have your attention up here on the floating dance floor? These two gentlemen in the sexy outfits lost a bet earlier today and are now going to demonstrate their version of a techno dance. Let’s hear it for them,” Yoyo ended clapping.

  “Aye, aye, aye,” everyone responded clapping.

  Yoyo jumped to the control center and turned up the music, which was the Euclidian version of techno disco. She turned on the quartz lights that sparkled around the room. As the men started to dance she levitated the dance floor up and down, which had rarely been used. The crowd hooted and hollered as the two men awkwardly stripped to their G-strings. When the music died down yoyo took to the stage.

  “Let’s hear it for these fabulous gentlemen. Next time they won’t go challenging Tammarians to climbing contests because we rule! Now I’m going to show how to do the techno dance right. Of course a clean version. I need six volunteers, three women and men or hermaphrodites. If you have a Tam stick you are compelled to come up here.”

  The stage and surrounding dance floor quickly filled with people. Yoyo cranked up the music and levitated the dance floor. She popped up on the stage with ease and addressed her dancers.

  “Change of plans everyone. There are so many of you let’s do the Tammarian cave walk. Don’t worry if you don’t know it you’ll learn quickly. Everyone that finishes it with me gets a free Tam stick when my shipment comes in.”

  Suddenly even more dancers came to the floor.

  I’m definitely going to need more dance space, Yoyo thought “Okay everybody line up and do what I do in beat with the music. Lean forward and put your hands on both of your thighs. Take two steps forward and shake your hips from side to side. With your right foot slide yourself across the floor. Twist to the left, raise your left foot and slide some more. Hop back once. Hop front twice and spin around. Spin your hips to the left then to their right now drop it down. Now cave walk everybody. Cave walk. Lean forward and put your hands on both of your thighs…”

  Yoyo had the club bangin’. She completely forgot about her drinking duties, but her boss didn’t care.

  Chapter 12

  Saved from the Bayou

  Uan, Betty and Dominique lay face down on the floor of the reconnaissance ship soak and wet, coughing up water. Grunting laughter could be heard coming from the background around them. The two women looked around for the source of the noise and started screaming when they saw the Euclidian crewmen. The screaming made the crewmen laugh all that much harder, which made them seem more menacing to the two women.

  “Ahhh, who are those monsters and where the hell are we?” Screamed Dominique holding onto Betty.

  “It appears that we have been abducted by Uan’s colleagues. I had my suspicions that he was an alien and this confirms it. He’s probably going to kill us with his spear now.”

  “Oh my goodness, you’re right,” said Dominique taking a closer look at Uan. “How did I not recognize it before? Does this mean I won’t get my thousand dollars or get my limousine replaced?”

  “Stop it!” Shouted Uan. “You’ll get your money and you can have any car you like. Furthermore, if I wanted to kill you why would I save you from the alligators?”

  “Because you want to stab us yourself to make sure that we are dead,” replied Betty. “Or maybe you want your friends to do it.”

  “I do not want to stab you and neither do my colleagues. They are here to help me find an escaped alien. They beamed us from the bayou away from the alligators. I was able to send them a request with my universal connection device before they came after me.”

  “Were you able to retrieve my UCD?” Uan asked the crewmembers.

  One of the crewmembers nodded to Uan and tossed it to him. Uan caught it and nodded back to her.

  “Could you tend to their wounds?” Uan asked.

  One of them nodded and used a device to seal the wound on Dominique’s arm.

  “This one is okay now. The other one doesn’t seem to be harmed, just wet,” the crewman snickered.

  Betty turned away from the crewman and faced Uan. “You’ve been killing people all across DC with your spear haven’t you,” accused Betty.

  “They were bad people and deserved to die,” responded Uan.

  “Really?! What about the headless corpse found on the riverfront?”

  “He littered.”

  “That is usually not a capital offense.”

  “He caught me at t
he wrong moment. I had the escaped alien in my grasp and he used his powers to wrap me in some cloth and throw me in the water. I just hate being in the water unless I am bathing. It stings my eyes and makes me feel helpless.”

  “If you want to call those slits you have eyes,” stated Dominique starring.

  “They are what I use to see with.”

  Uan didn’t have eyeballs like most humanoid creatures. He had slits that went from the front of his head and running along the side providing him with a more than a 180 degree view of his surroundings.

  “Why are you trying so hard to capture this creature? I bet he’s not running around stabbing people in the chest with a spear,” exclaimed Betty.

  “He escaped from our resource extraction ship Andrea. He has special powers like telepathy and telekinesis. We are afraid that he will warn your planet about our presence.”

  “Why don’t you just introduce yourselves like you must have done on other planets?” Asked Dominique agitated.

  “This is not a friendly visit. We are here to extract minerals and people from the planet. Introducing ourselves would be a waste of time.”

  “Why did you leave your quest to save Betty?” Asked Dominique. “Are you in love with Betty?”

  Uan just growled in response.

  “Of course not,” interjected Betty. “He’s an emotionless assassin. He just probably wants me to tie him to a bed again a few more times before he gets bored and kills me. Maybe he kept you alive because he wants a threesome.”

  “Now you are being absurd. I have feelings for you Betty. That is why I risked my life to save you.”

  “Uan, do you want us to drop you three off somewhere?” One of the crewmembers jumped in.

  “Sure, just send us all to my place. I’ll be in touch later,” replied Uan.

  A moment later they were all standing in Uan’s living room with their clothes still soaked.

  “My gosh, I wish you would stop doing that,” exclaimed Dominique. “At least give us a warning before you beam us around.”

  “No kidding,” added Betty.

  “What happened to you three?” Asked Calvin sitting up from the couch. “It looks like you were trying to find Nemo and got lost yourselves.”

  “Are you an alien too?” Asked Dominique.

  “No, that’s Uan’s valet,” responded Betty.

  “Hold on, I’m no one’s valet and I’m certainly not an alien. I’m Uan’s associate. I help him get around.”

  “So you help him kill people,” said Betty.

  “Trust me, Uan doesn’t need any help with that.”

  “What I do need help with is getting these ladies some dry clothes if you are finished with the chit chat,” demanded Uan. “And tell Little Randy I want to see him.

  “Got it!” Calvin stated turning and walking away.

  “Ladies if you will come with me,” stated Uan, “there are a couple of bedrooms with bathrooms that you can use to clean up. They each have towels and toiletries in them. Calvin should be back soon with clothes for you. I’ll be in my room taking a shower.”

  Uan went into his room, showered and put on some fresh clothes. Soon there was a knock on his door.

  “Uan!” Calvin shouted through the closed door. “Little Randy is out here with a few of his fellas.”

  “I will be right there,” replied Uan.

  “Got it,” stated Calvin returning to the living room where the group was waiting.

  Out of nowhere Uan just appeared, without his shades or hoody, startling the group. He had his spear in his right hand with the tip pointed downward in a menacing fashion.

  “Whose idea was it to turn my friend over to the Italians?” Uan stated bearing his sharp teeth. The fear across the four was palpable.

  Little Randy spoke up. “She was a cop that was sneaking around spying on you. If she was your friend why was she hiding behind a tree watching your place instead of just knocking on your door.”

  “Did you even ask her?”

  “She had a chance to speak up and said nothing,” Little Randy pleaded.

  “Fine. From now on, people who visit me are protected. You figure out if they know me or not.”

  “No problem. So we good?” Asked Little Randy.

  “Almost,” replied Uan then thrust his spear into the chest of the man standing on Little Randy’s left. “Now we good.”

  “Uan, did you have to kill my boy?!”

  “If the loss of your friend is causing you mental duress I am happy to relieve you of that feeling,” stated Uan leaning into Little Randy and cocking his head to the side.

  “No, I’m good,” stated Little Randy throwing his hands up.

  “Good. Now take that bleeding corpse out of here. He is messing up my carpet. Next time I call for you, you come alone. Crowds make me nervous.”

  “No problem. That won’t happen again.”

  With that Uan turned and vanished into thin air.

  “Shit! What kind of crap is that?” Said one of Little Randy’s associates. “Is he some kind of ghost or something?”

  “Oh no,” stated Calvin. “A ghost is just scary. Uan is terrifying to the point that he doesn’t even have a shadow. They’re afraid to be around him.”

  “Why aren’t you afraid?”

  “Oh I am. Every minute of every day. So far he’s been good to me so I’m going to be good to him. And one thing’s for sure. None of you are ever going to mess with me as long as he’s around. I suggest you get going before he comes back. He’s not a patient kind of guy if you know what I mean. And I think you do.”

  The three grabbed their dead friend and walked out without uttering another word.

  “Calvin, did you get the clothes I told you to get?” Uan asked.

  “Yes, I put them in their respective bedrooms.”

  “You know we still have that little alien and his Earthling friend to deal with.”

  “Yes, I remember. I just don’t know why he continues to be important. He doesn’t seem to want to cause any trouble.”

  “Ours is not to reason why, ours is just to do or die.”

  “Where did you learn that one?”

  “They taught me a few English colloquialisms during my language training.”

  “But they didn’t teach you contractions. That’s a hoot.”

  “Just go start the SUV up. I will be down in a minute. I want to let the ladies know that they should stay put.”

  “Okay, I’ll be waiting for you outside.”

  Uan walked into a bedroom where Betty and Dominique were chatting. “Betty and Dominique, Calvin and I are going to look for the missing alien. The invasion is imminent. You will be safe as long as you stay here, so do not leave.”

  Chapter 13

  Li Xiao spots Uan

  Li Xiao was using her transport device to follow the Chinese ambassador around, trying to determine if his guest, the visiting Chinese Defense Secretary, would eventually discuss where they were keeping Yao Ming. He was recently captured and being held in an undisclosed location for speaking out against the government. She wasn’t much of a basketball fan, but she knew who he was. All the other people she had freed were Chinese dissidents who had never been to America. Yao Ming was a national hero and an American basketball legend.

  Freeing the other dissidents was not very worrisome to her as she did not get much media coverage. The Chinese were being careful about not turning her into a heroine. Helping Yao Ming to escape would bring her international attention, which might become dangerous to her ability to remain anonymous.

  As she watched the pair ride around DC in their limousine she listened carefully, but unfortunately they were only discussing the DC sites and where to get great Szechuan food.

  The limousine is stopping. Why would they be stopping here? Not the tourist bus. Now I guess I will spend the next two hours listening to you two rattle on about monuments and not Yao Ming!

  The two men exited their limo, purchased tickets and climbed aboard
a double-decker bus. They took a seat on the top near the front. As the bus continued its tour Li Yao was forced to endure more inane banter about the monuments they were passing. The Chinese ambassador took great pleasure in showing off his knowledge of DC.

  Li Xiao noticed something odd happen as they went under an overpass. From out of nowhere a kid floated down into the bus. Since he landed in the back no one seemed to notice.

  Where did he come from, how did he float down and why was he carrying that strange doll in his quiver. Wait a minute. That doll is moving! Li Xiao switched her focus from the two men she was following to this mysterious kid and his doll.

  The two appeared to be communicating with each other, but their mouths weren’t moving. As a matter of fact, the small creature didn’t even have a mouth. They looked over the back of the bus as if they were watching something. Li Xiao zoomed out the image on her device to see what they were looking at. It appeared that someone was chasing the bus. Not only that, the person was catching the bus, which must have been moving at about thirty miles an hour.

  The fastest human can barely run fifteen miles per hour. How is this person doing this? She thought. Li Xiao zoomed in on the person and determined that he couldn’t be human, but what was an alien doing on Earth? He must be chasing the little creature the kid was carrying, who has to be an alien as well. They have to be from Cobalt’s ship, which means this has something to do with the impending invasion. While I would love to free Yao Ming, this development is probably more important.

  Li Xiao followed the trio as they switched to a tourist boat. They split up after the kid and the small alien caught a hot air balloon and the alien chasing them was dragged under water. Li Xiao decided to place a waypoint on Morgan and the alien. She decided that the alien would be more interesting to follow around.

  The alien came up out of the water near an entertainment area and beheaded a man, apparently for littering. She followed him back to his residence and saw that he was working with an American. She later laughed as the alien apparently became drunk after drinking barely half a beer and was being beaten up at a bar and was later tied to a bed and dominated by a policewoman.

  This is some strange stuff that you just can’t make up, she thought. The policewoman was later captured and then freed by the alien named Uan. I can’t figure out if this alien is a good guy or bad guy. He certainly has a mean temper. He seems to want to kill the little alien and his American friend so they won’t warn Earth.