by Debra Cowan
Chapter Nine
In the following days, Annalise learned keeping her distance from Matt wasn’t the problem. It was getting him out of her thoughts.
The day after their impromptu picnic she received a note from him. He said he hoped her injuries were healing and told her how much he enjoyed having an inside picnic with her. He ended by asking if she would have dinner with him. She sent a note back saying no.
She might have been charmed by the picnic, but she wasn’t sure about doing more than that with him.
The next day he sent a note with a cluster of purple prairie verbena telling her he would be at her clinic the following day to drive her out to the Eight of Hearts Ranch so she could check on her patient. Again, he asked if she would have dinner with him. She said no.
True to his word, he drove her out to Julius’s ranch and on the return trip, he asked her to have dinner with him. She said no.
The day after that, a piece of butter cake was delivered with a note. He knew the dessert was her favorite and the note said if she would have dinner with him, he would get her an entire cake. She said no. With difficulty.
The notes got to her. Matt hated writing anything, especially of a personal nature. His penmanship was terrible, but she could tell he had taken his time over the messages. The only thing he didn’t hate writing was information about his livestock. He kept meticulous records regarding the number of animals and births, sickness, deaths.
The following day, Ef showed up at her clinic with newly banded wheels on her buggy, courtesy of Matt. Though moved by his thoughtfulness, she had protested. With a grin, the blacksmith said he had been warned Annalise would argue about the gift. He handed her a note in which Matt explained that he had noticed the worn bands on their trip to the Eight of Hearts Ranch. It wouldn’t take more than hitting a hole to lose a wheel and possibly cause an accident.
He closed by asking if she would have dinner with him. This time, she said yes.
The next evening, he arrived at six and they walked down to the Fontaine for dinner. As she waited for him, she remembered how giddy she used to be when he would call for her. How she would dither about choosing what to wear. Just as she had tonight.
She had finally settled on a dinner dress in rose silk. The neckline was square and trimmed in the same white duchess lace as the elbow-length sleeves.
After they were seated at a quiet table in the corner and had given their order to Naomi Gerard, Ef’s wife, Annalise and Matt admired the dark-paneled room. The dining tables were polished to a high sheen, set with sparkling crystal and silver flatware. Both agreed that Russ and Lydia had outdone themselves.
In the soft white gaslight, Annalise glanced at him. “I appreciate everything you’ve done over the last several days.”
He grimaced. “You don’t wanna talk about it, do you?”
She laughed. “Only to say thank you, especially for seeing to my buggy wheels. I never would’ve thought about checking them.”
“Because your pa always did it for you.”
She nodded, her throat tightening. “It was very sweet.”
He covered her hand with his, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. She went very still, but before she could pull away, he did.
“So I owe this dinner to a set of buggy wheels?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll have to keep that in mind.” His blue eyes were warm. “Did you talk to Josie about her crying spells?”
“Yes.”
“Did she cry during that?” Matt chuckled.
“Yes.”
His eyes widened. “I was just joshin’.”
“She felt as though she’d driven Davis Lee out of the house that day. I assured both of them, separately and together, that neither of them were to blame. This is just something they have to get through.”
It had made her think about how she’d handled everything on her own when she’d carried her and Matt’s baby.
He stared at her as if he expected her to remind him that he had let her down, but she didn’t. She really did want to put the anger and blame of their past behind them. Still, she wasn’t willing to look further ahead than tonight. Matt could have her throwing caution to the wind and she didn’t want that.
As they ate, she chanced a few looks at him. She admired the square line of his clean-shaven jaw. A white shirt clung to his wide shoulders and made his skin a deep bronze. Dark trousers gloved his long, long legs. The passing years had made him more handsome. Maybe it was because there were now some hard-earned creases on his face, a new maturity in those blue eyes.
Lines of fatigue fanned out from his eyes, carved a groove around his mouth. She knew it was because he was working long hours, day and night, trying to catch the rustlers.
“I guess you’re still alternating shifts with Riley and the Rosses.”
“Yes. It’s worked out well. We ride in twos and this way everyone gets a break.”
As they waited for coffee and dessert, his gaze traced her features. “Is there anyone missing you back in Philadelphia? A man, I mean.”
She swept away a loose tendril of hair that had escaped from her loose upsweep. There had never been anyone for her except him and she was afraid it might always be that way. She didn’t have to admit it to him though.
She thought about asking if he’d had anyone special since she’d left, but she didn’t. There had been plenty of talk about him and a lot of women.
It wasn’t as though he had cheated on her, but she couldn’t help feeling a little hurt.
“No, no one special.” She took a bite of butter cake.
His gaze traveled slowly over her, paused on her breasts then rose to her lips. “You sure are a sight,” he said for the second time since he’d called for her that evening. “I wanted to eat you up when I saw you.”
There was nothing daring about her dress. Only her neck and the flat plane of her chest were bared, but he looked at her as if he could see her in the altogether. The heat in his eyes gave her a shiver and sent a tingle to her toes.
He asked about her injuries and she told him they were much better.
He cut off a corner of her dessert. “Pa has been really distracted. At first, I thought it was because he’s a newlywed, but he’s been absent-minded and sometimes short with people.”
Annalise was afraid it was due to his condition. As far as she knew, J.T. was no closer to walking than before, which made her think the man would probably be coming to see her again soon.
Naomi brought more coffee, saying in her soft Southern voice, “Let me know if you need anything else.”
Matt smiled at her. “We will. Everything was more than fine tonight.”
“Yes, very good,” Annalise added.
“Thank you.”
As they finished their cake, Charlie and May Haskell stopped at their table to say hello. Both had pleased smiles on their faces as they walked away.
Matt watched her carefully. “By tomorrow, it’s going to be all over town that you were out with me tonight.”
Sipping her coffee, Annalise nodded. The thought had occurred to her before she had accepted his invitation. “Some things don’t change, I guess.”
Her gaze followed his as the Haskells made their way across the room. Just as the older couple stepped out of the dining room, Charlie reached back and pinched May on the bottom.
Annalise choked on her coffee, quickly putting down her cup before she dropped it. Matt’s chuckle said he’d seen the same thing.
“Do you remember—” They both began at the same time.
She laughed. “The night of the pecan harvest dance when we decided to stop in the Eishens’ grove.”
“And not for picnickin’,” he said in a low voice. “I was dyin’ to kiss you proper.”
She’d wanted that, too. But when they reached the well-known, well-used spot, it had been taken. By the Haskells!
She had never looked at the mercantile owner and his wife the same way again and neither
had Matt.
She smiled into his eyes. “You were appalled.”
“And you weren’t.”
“I thought it was sweet.” She had also imagined her and Matt doing the same thing after spending many years together. Her smile faded a bit. “They still fancy each other.”
Her gaze locked with Matt’s and a long pulsing moment drew out between them. The flickering gaslight made it easy to read the desire in his blue eyes. Her entire body vibrated with awareness. He stared at her mouth and she felt his hand curl into a fist, as though he was trying not to touch her.
Part of her wanted him to reach for her. She sat there in a daze until he broke the tension by winking.
“I bet May and Charlie are going home to fancy each other all night long.”
“Matt Baldwin!” She couldn’t keep a straight face and dissolved into laugher.
He laughed, too, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
“Annalise!”
She turned to see Davis Lee rushing toward their table. His dark hair was rumpled and his eyes wide. He held his hat tight, crumpling its brim. “It’s time! Josie’s having the baby!”
“Are you sure? How far apart are her contractions?”
“I know you told me what to do, but I can’t remember a blamed thing. You said—” He broke off, his features pinched and anxious. “We’ve never gotten this far before. I don’t know what to do!”
Placing her napkin on the table, she stood. “It’s going to be all right. I need to get my bag.”
Matt touched her arm. “Go on with Davis Lee. I’ll stop by and get it.”
“Are you sure? It’s on the way.”
“I think Davis Lee would feel better if you went now. I’ll be right behind you.”
She smiled. “Thank you.”
He nodded. She gathered up her skirts and rushed out the door with Davis Lee. When the two of them angled behind the mercantile and toward his house, she saw Matt go past them and head for her clinic.
She realized she was still smiling. When was the last time she had done that while thinking of Matt Baldwin?
She couldn’t remember.
After grabbing Annalise’s bag and an apron, Matt rushed over to Davis Lee’s house. His friend took the things in to Annalise, who was in the bedroom with Josie. Then the lawman stepped back out, frowning when the door closed behind him.
Matt rubbed the nape of his neck. Having never been in a situation like this, he wasn’t sure what to do. Davis Lee walked to the center of the room and stopped.
He thumbed away a bead of sweat, his eyes dark with worry and confusion. “Josie kicked me out.”
Matt’s eyes widened. “Why?”
“She said I looked like I was about to pass out and she couldn’t worry about me, too.” His hat and knife sat on the corner of the dining table alongside a thick piece of pine. He picked up the knife and wood then propped himself against the wall beside the cupboard and began to whittle.
His friend looked disoriented, and Matt didn’t feel right leaving him alone, but the man needed to keep his hands busy.
It made sense to him that Annalise and Josie would want to clean up at some point. They’d want to clean up the baby, too. He took a basin from the shelf above the sink and used the indoor pump to fill the bowl with water. After lighting the stove, he set the basin on it to heat.
The large front room was the center of the house. The stove behind Matt, and the sink and cupboard along the wall made the kitchen almost a separate room. The fireplace was beyond the stove and Josie and Davis Lee’s bedroom was on the other side of that wall.
“I should be in there,” Davis Lee said hoarsely, pausing with his knife held over the rapidly dwindling piece of wood. If he didn’t stop whittling soon, all that would be left was a toothpick. “But seeing her in that much pain makes me hate myself. What kind of man can’t help his wife when she needs it?”
“You’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing.”
“What? Standing around like a lump?”
Matt hooked a foot under a chair leg and dragged it toward Davis Lee, sitting down. “I don’t know any men who were with their wives for a birth. Do you?”
“No, but I know she wanted me to be there.” His eyes were hollow, haunted. “This scares the hell out of me. Josie did everything Annalise told her to. We both did, but what if I lose her? And the baby?”
“Everything will be fine.” He could hear Annalise’s calm voice, the occasional pain-filled groan from Josie. “Annalise is with her and she knows what she’s doing.”
Davis Lee nodded, but he didn’t look convinced.
“I sent Miguel to the Rocking H for Riley and Susannah. They should be here soon.”
“Thanks. I’ve been so scatterbrained, I didn’t even think about getting my family here.”
“You’ve got other things on your mind.”
The sheriff sliced another layer off the wood, then pushed away from the wall and paced to the door of his bedroom and back. Back and forth. Back and forth.
Matt shifted restlessly. “Have any chores I can help you with?”
“No.” His friend stopped next to the stove, his blade flashing as he viciously slid it down the length of pine.
Matt had always been amazed at how well his friend handled the knife, but his strokes were so fast that he half expected the thing to fly out of Davis Lee’s hand or for his friend to cut himself. “Wanna play cards?”
“I couldn’t concentrate.” Another forceful downstroke shaved off a curl of wood. The shavings littering the floor gave off the faint scent of pine.
“It might at least keep you from messing up Josie’s clean floor.”
“Oh, I’ll sweep up before—”
A scream sounded from the next room and Davis Lee jerked so hard he nearly sliced off his thumb. Matt leapt up and grabbed his friend’s arm, taking the knife.
The other man rushed to his bedroom door. “Josie!”
“Don’t-come-in-here,” she panted then moaned in pain.
Davis Lee turned away from the door and came back to his chair. He sank down, shoving a hand through his hair. “We’ve never gotten this far along with a baby and Annalise says that’s a good sign.”
Josie screamed again, making a chill shoot up Matt’s spine.
“I had no idea it would be this harrowing.” The sheriff’s voice cracked. “I feel like I’m being skinned alive.”
There was a very real chance his friends might lose another baby, and Matt had no idea what to say. What could be worse than going through the whole painful process of childbirth only to lose the baby?
He wondered how he would’ve been if his and Annalise’s baby had lived, if he had been present for the birth. But he hadn’t been there at all. Not for the beginning or the end. He wasn’t sure he could ever forgive himself for that, and now he could see why Annalise might not either.
“Josie was right to kick me out. She would sense my doubt.”
That was probably right, but how could the man feel anything else? He had absolutely no control over this, couldn’t protect his wife or child from further pain. Matt would feel the same. He did feel the same, he realized. He hadn’t protected Annalise or their baby. Rationally, he knew he couldn’t have stopped the miscarriage, but he understood his friend’s sense of failure, of responsibility.
The patient groaned then cried out. The sounds began to run together in Matt’s head.
Josie’s obvious distress had him on edge. He could only imagine how much more trying this would be if Annalise was the one giving birth.
It seemed like hours passed before he heard a guttural moan then a lusty cry. A baby’s cry.
The sound of that tiny voice had Matt’s breath jamming in his lungs. Overwhelmed by a sudden urge to run, he gripped the table.
Davis Lee jumped up then froze.
The bedroom door opened and Annalise stepped out, looking weary, but smiling. “Josie’s just fine and you have a girl.”
The relief on the lawman’s face was so stark, so raw that it twisted something in Matt’s chest. He clapped Davis Lee on the shoulder. “Congratulations, Papa.”
The other man moved then. He rushed into the bedroom as Annalise came into the kitchen. Matt studied her face, not understanding the panicked reaction he’d had upon hearing the baby.
Lines of fatigue fanned out from her green eyes; her apron was bloodied. She still wore a smile, but he sensed a heaviness in the air. He wasn’t sure what it meant.
“It was good of you to stay with Davis Lee,” she said.
“I don’t know that I was any help, but at least he wasn’t alone.” Matt reached for the basin he’d moved to the table.
“Here, I pumped some water.”
“Thanks. I cleaned up the baby some before I gave her to Josie.” Annalise washed her hands then dried them with a nearby square of toweling.
Uncertainty hammered at him. “Everything okay?”
“Josie did very well. No problems at all.” She glanced back at the bedroom and lowered her voice. “I was concerned about that.”
The door opened and a beaming Davis Lee came to the doorway holding a blanket-wrapped bundle. “Matt, come see her!”
He covered the short distance between them, staring down at a perfect upturned nose, a tiny rosebud mouth. Her face was scrunched up and she had a head full of dark hair.
“We’re going to call her Tannis, after Josie’s grandmother. Isn’t she beautiful?”
Matt smiled past the crushing weight in his chest. “She sure is.”
“Luckily, she takes after her mama.” Chuckling, Davis Lee carried his daughter back into the bedroom.
Matt shoved an unsteady hand through his hair. He was shaky, unsettled. What was going on? His ears were ringing as if he’d been kicked in the head by a horse, and he couldn’t breathe.
Hearing that baby, looking at her, made him feel all jostled up inside. His own child had never cried, never even taken a breath. He had to get out of here, grab some fresh air.
He backed away and walked out to the porch, noting absently that the front door was already open.
Darkness had settled while they waited for the baby. Now a crescent moon hung high in a clear sky dotted with stars. The air had turned comfortably cool yet Matt was hot inside. His chest felt prickly.
