“Look,” he says. “The Elders—”
“Don’t,” I snap, cutting him off. I knew it. It’s been more than a month since Keller convinced the Elders of the Assembly to make us co-Leaders. I’m still waiting on a formal acknowledgment from them. I have a feeling I’ll be waiting until I have at least one foot in the grave. All because I’m a half-breed.
The Elders are the highest level of the Assembly, followed by Bishops, Deacons, Team Leaders, and then Team Members, who are basically mercenaries. The similarities to the church are intentional. Belief is more powerful than any form of magick out there.
The Elders never had any intention of giving me the authority of leading a Team in my domain. As long as there’s a Team here helping to keep my city safe, it shouldn’t matter if I’m a TL or a TM. But it does.
“Are you listening to me?”
I shake my head. I don’t want to fight with him. I leave Keller standing there and trek the last few minutes to my apartment. I sense him on my heels, but that doesn’t stop me from trying to slam the door in his face to shut down the inevitable argument. He puts one finger on the door and pushes it open.
Man, I need to chill or I’m likely to knock Keller on his ass. I’m beyond tired, ready to collapse, and if I’m being honest with myself, this is only partially Keller’s fault. My beef is equally placed with the Elders. Lucky for Keller, he’s only getting fifty percent of my anger-induced doucheness. Screw that. Maybe Keller deserves to get a boot in his ass. Being partners means sharing information. All information. Clearly, he’s keeping certain details to himself, and that doesn’t fly in my world.
I swing around and nail him with a fiery gaze. “This co-leader shit seems very one sided.”
He’s not looking at me.
Something’s wrong.
Reaching for my blade, I spin and quickly scan the small room. I have to squint to see her. Esmeralda, a pixie with soft yellow wings and an even softer voice, flutters near the window.
Esmeralda’s tiny hand is clutched into a tight fist in front of her mouth. One by one, she slowly opens her fingers and purses her lips.
I cock my head, trying to figure out what she’s up to. Pixies are known to stir up trouble, and the one hovering in my apartment is one of the biggest culprits.
“You weren’t invited, Esmeralda.” I move toward her.
Esmeralda smiles before blowing softly over her extended hand. Shimmering blue powder scatters throughout the room like sparkling, magical dust motes, and I make the mistake of breathing it in. Instantly the room swirls.
Esmeralda giggles like a little girl. “Tag. You’re it.”
Chapter Seven
I'm about to go total lights out. I don't have time to throttle Esmeralda, though I plot her demise in great detail. I can almost hear her wings crunching in my fists. I reach for Keller, but he's already got a hold of me. His anger emanates through his fingertips like tiny snaps of a pulsating wire. He’s practically gouging my arms. Right now he’s my lifeline, so I allow the death grip. Not that I have much choice.
Black dots mar my vision. I’m lightheaded like I’ve been spinning on a merry-go-round all afternoon. Slowly, the dizziness ebbs as a feeling of euphoria slips in and takes over. It’s like sliding into a hot bubble bath at the end of the day, glass of wine in hand, soft music playing in the background. Comforting heat spreads from my toes to my fingertips, lifting me off the ground until I feel as though I’m floating free and clear like a red carnival balloon that has escaped the sticky hands of a child.
“I’ve got you,” he says close to my ear. "What have you done, pixie?" he growls. The change in his voice is like tires shifting from a smooth highway to an old gravel road. Oops. Someone is in trouble. If Esmeralda answers, I don’t hear.
I'm stumbling around on legs made of marmalade, not sure if I’m awake and drunk, or in some sort of a dream state. Esmeralda has drugged me. That I do know. When I come out of this, I'm totally going to pluck her wings and stuff them down her throat. I’d do it now, but I can't tell if she's even in the same room anymore. Gone are the decrepit yet comfortably familiar surroundings of my tiny apartment. In its place is a room full of shiny red curtains and circus monkeys. The little darlings are dressed in ruffles and feathers with cock-eyed hats strapped to their heads. They clap their hands together and chatter to each other like busybodies, exaggerating their mouths and showing lots of teeth. They are too cute. And I’ve always wanted a pet. Monkeys are supposed to be smart. Maybe if I adopt one it can cook for itself since I’m rarely at home. I reach for one and frown when he runs away and hides behind the curtains.
I lean forward and call to them. “Come here, little monkeys. Come to Josie.”
The monkeys disappear, and I never even got to pet one. My lips pull into a deep pout like the corners have been rigged to two anvils.
The room swirls again, round and round and round I go. Wheeee!
I'm outside.
Dawn is breaking over the horizon in brilliant shades of blue. I blink at the kaleidoscope effect and tilt my head right then left, smiling at the plethora of swirling colors and shapes. Pretty sunrise. So pretty. It’s like I’m walking on a rainbow. I laugh. The melodious sound fans out, echoing and coming back to me like a lyrical boomerang. When I get to the top of the rainbow, I’m going to sing to the world right before I slide down the other side. I wonder what song I should sing? Something upbeat? A swelling ballad?
Keller loosens his grip. I laugh again. This is going to be great. My sexy vampire and I are going to ride the rainbow together. I blink again, hear a slurpy pop, and then the colors are gone, sucked away through an enormous hole in the sky that instantly seals closed and disappears. There are no more trees slicing the horizon. No more flowers dotting the earth with splashes of yellow, red and purple. Everything is white and washed out, flat and dull. This vast world of nothing seems to go on forever, an endless array of sharp edges and straight lines. It’s painful and sad. I squint my eyes in the overly bright sun, still the heat burns and tears leak from the corners.
Sun?
There’s something about that. What is it? What is it?
It clicks, and I know my world will never be the same.
Keller and daylight don’t mix.
I spin. So does my stomach. I ignore the wave of nausea. What little focus I have is on Keller. Everything else is inconsequential. "You have to go," I tell him, my voice cracking.
"Never, Josie."
I hear him but I don’t see him. It’s too bright. I use my hands like a visor to shield my eyes.
“I’m here.”
I feel his breath on the back of my neck, cool and soothing. I whip around. The top of the sun crests, its blinding intensity shrouding the flattened land in rays of white-hot heat, a sharp contrast to Keller’s chilled breath. Smoke swims around me, circling, dancing, and with it comes the horrific scent of searing flesh. Panic nearly chokes my words.
"Keller!" I turn again. Again. He's not there. So much smoke. I fan the air with both arms. I can't find him. The sun rises higher, heating my backside like the devil is spanking me with his fiery hand. "No, no, no. Run, Irish. Please, run."
"I've told you before… You're stubborn. I'm not leaving…you, Josephine."
Where the hell is he? His words are soft, weak, like it’s painful for him to speak. I have got to help him. Have to fix this.
"I release you of your vow. Please go,” I plead. “I'll find you." I don’t know how. All I know is nothing will stop me from finding him. We’re connected and I’ll tear through the halls of Heaven, Hell, and every world in between until I get him back. The sun is stealing Keller from me like a thief dressed in a cloak made of white flames. I hear the roar he’s holding back. It’s in my head, thrashing against my skull like a trapped beast. He’s burning to death. For me. Whether he leaves on his own or not, the result is the same, and that is unacceptable. What was I thinking? I can’t release him. I won’t.
“Dammit. N
o! I don't release you. You promised you’d never leave me. That means no dying. Do you hear me? No dying!" The last two words are nothing but a strangled sob.
Keller doesn't speak again. I drop to the ground. The smoke dissipates like it’s being sucked through the tube of a vacuum. I'm afraid to look. For him, I have to. I crawl forward, my hands scraping across cracked earth that appears as though it hasn't seen rain in months. Where the hell am I?
I gasp when I see it. The faint sounds of splintering glass prick at my ears and I know it’s my heart shattering into a billion pieces. A part of Keller is still here, though his soul is long gone. The pile of dark ashes is all I have left of him. I stare at the gray powder, afraid to move—afraid to leave him in this place alone. The temperature suddenly drops. One moment sweat is sliding down my back, the next I’m shivering and on the verge of hypothermia. My breath mimics the smoke from mere moments ago. I try not to breathe.
A gentle but icy breeze caresses my wet cheeks like a coddling nursemaid. That’s the only warning I have before the wind goes bat crazy. My tears freeze on my face. Keller’s ashes swirl around me like the cyclone from the Wizard of Oz. But this isn’t a movie—something I can flick off with the remote.
No.
He is mine, I think with a guttural sob.
I quickly reach for his remains and rub them between my fingers, over my arms, my legs, my lips. I want Keller with me forever. He promised. The wind howls like a tortured ghost calling for its only love. I dive for the last remnants of the one man who ever won my heart. But the wind takes it all, strips it away from me in one final squall. A sharp, piercing wail breaks through the moaning wind. My screams are for Keller.
* * *
Tremors rock through my body, vicious in their intensity. Five minutes ago I was ready to go toe-to-toe with Keller over the Assembly. Now, Keller isn’t here anymore, and I have regrets. More than I could ever count. I’m lost in a sea of darkness, clawing my way to the surface while creeping tendrils of fog keep dragging me farther down. My lungs burn with the need to breathe. Somewhere, Keller is calling my name. Maybe from the other side. If I answer him, I’ll drown.
I feel his anger like it’s my own, lashing against my skin in stinging snaps. He wouldn’t want me to die. I’m not ready to die. I refuse to die.
“Josie!”
I fight death’s hold with everything I have, jackknifing out of its cruel grasp. My feet are finally on solid ground. I run. My muscles are so tight I trip before I’ve gone two steps. I’m going down, and I’m going to hit hard. I fall flat on the floor. My face slams into a shoe, the heel slamming into my nose and scraping off skin.
With wobbly arms I shove off the floor and turn. I’m not in that white world of nothingness. I’m not surfing the skies on rainbows. There are no monkeys. I’m in my apartment. The same chipped, lime-green walls surround me and I think they are the most exquisite walls in the world. Keller has his arms around me now. He’s holding me and shushing me like I’m a child who has awakened from a horrific nightmare. That’s exactly what it was, and I’m glad for it. Nightmares aren’t real, and Irish is still with me. If I wasn’t sure how much he meant to me before, I am now. Without him, I am a shattered version of me. A broken shell that glue could never fix.
My breath is stuttered and my muscles are on the verge of seizing. I need to relax, but I don’t know if I remember how. I lean into Keller’s embrace. I’m utterly drained.
Why?
I mentally count backward from ten and scan the small room. The shutters on the window are sealed tight, closing off the streets, the world, and most importantly, the sun from my tiny home. I have no idea what time it is.
That very moment, I remember what happened with such clarity that a stuttered gasp escapes.
I shove away from Keller. “Where’s Esmeralda?” I ask through clenched teeth, my gaze scanning every inch of the room. Pixies are known for their shenanigans, but this is beyond their usual harmless pranks. With one move, they’ve climbed into very dangerous territory.
“She’s gone.” His voice is nearly a snarl. “I was worried about you.” He slides his hand over my still dirty hair, lingers as if he’s afraid to let go. “She left before I could grab her.”
I give Keller one more squeeze, then cross the small room and plop down on my bed. The sheets are still rumpled from the last time Keller and I were here. I bunch the cotton in my fists, needing to root myself on solid ground.
“That little bitch drugged me.”
Keller crouches in front of me. “Yes, she did. How do you feel now?”
I shake my head and immediately regret it. “A headache, nothing more.” The headache is actually closer to a migraine, but I’ll deal. I decide not to tell him how bad my heart is aching. Thankfully, seeing him alive and breathing—sort of, he doesn’t really breathe much—kicks the healing process into gear. “That was some trip.” One I never want to repeat. “Was it the same for you?” Other than the worry swimming laps in his eyes, he doesn’t seem affected.
Keller rubs his forehead. “I didn’t partake, so to speak.”
“Right. I’m the only breather in the room. I’m betting she knew that, too.” I let go of the sheets and push off the bed. Pacing gives me back the control I lost. “How long was I out?”
Keller moves to the refrigerator, which is located a mere four feet or so from my bed. He opens the door, and I hear the rattle that the landlord has yet to fix. The fridge is on its last leg and has been for over a year. He snags a bottle of water and slams the door closed. The rattle stops. “No more than a couple of hours.”
A couple of hours to Keller could be as many as twelve. As much as I want my hours back, there’s nothing I can do about it. I take the water Keller offers and drain half the contents in two swallows. I’m hoping hydrating will kill the hangover. “Well, that’s something, I guess.” I shrug halfheartedly. “Part of me gets why some people succumb to drugs. That initial high is exhilarating. Beyond exhilarating. The end…”
“What happened, Josephine?”
It’s not often that he uses my full name. He must really be worried about me. I kiss Keller’s bare shoulder and wonder when he stripped out of his shirt. For all I know, he could have danced a naked jig with wood nymphs while I was out. Doubtful, but possible. “I’m fine,” I say in answer. “You know me. Just battling monsters wherever I go.” I step away and offer a weak smile. It’s the best I can do right now. His death—imagined or not—has me more confused than I’ve been in a very long time.
The worry lines around Keller’s black eyes smooth out. I’m guessing it’s slowly sinking in that I’m okay. It’s been a while since he’s fed from me. Our telepathic connection is weak, and I’m thankful for that.
He opens his mouth to speak, but hesitates before finally saying, “For a few moments you seemed peaceful. And happy…”
The way he says ‘happy’ makes me wonder if that’s unusual for me. Could that be true? “I’m sure,” I say with a wave of my hand. “Right up until the moment I went psycho.”
“There was that. Very dramatic,” he says with a soft laugh. Keller lowers his body onto the bed, taking up the space I vacated. His abs contract as he leans back to rest on his elbows. “Want to talk about it? What you saw, I mean.”
I force my gaze to move from his ripped stomach to his eyes. When he looks at me like this, talking is the last thing I want to do. “Not so much, Irish.” I’m bone tired, but there will be no sleep for me today. “I’m gonna hit the shower, then head to Wolfie’s to help out before the sun goes down. Then I’m going pixie hunting,” I tell him, my tone leaving no room for argument. “If Esmeralda is blowing that special pixie dust on anyone else, her little game of tag is going to get bloody.” I have a feeling there’s something bigger at play here. I need to get to the bottom of it, nip it in the bud, so to speak, before anyone else takes a trip down Horror Lane.
Keller smiles and my heart jerks to attention. “Agreed. The boys and I are
playing Wolfie’s tonight, so I’ll see you soon. Maybe you’ll do us the honor of sitting in.” Keller stands and moves toward me like a lion tracking his mate. With one finger, he lifts my chin and kisses me full on the lips. “Promise me something,” he says with his mouth against mine.
“Promise.”
Keller laughs. The deep sound rumbles through his chest before fading to a purr. “You don’t know what it is I’m asking.”
I kiss him hard before grabbing a towel from the closet and heading toward the shower. “Sure I do,” I say over my shoulder. “Wait for you.” It’s the same thing he’s made me promise every night since the Spring Equinox. So far, I’ve been inclined to hunt with him. But eventually, something will happen and I’ll be on the streets alone. I’m a realist, and at some point the shit will hit the proverbial fan. Tonight isn’t eventually…yet.
“Always, Josie.”
Though I really want to, I can’t promise always. I offer a smile instead. Tomorrow comes with a new set of challenges. Not to mention tomorrows aren’t promised to anyone. Not even the immortals. I rub my chest with the heel of my hand. My heart hurts for those I have lost. Those I have yet to lose. Being a huntress allows me a longer lease on life, but doesn’t spare me any of the heartache that comes along with it. And there’s nothing I can do about it, which really sucks the big one.
Dragging myself away from those self-destructive thoughts—which isn’t an easy feat, mind you—I turn on the shower and undress while I wait for the water to heat up. Unfortunately, that could take anywhere from ten seconds to ten minutes. I don’t live in the nicest apartment. Actually, it crossed to the bad side a long time ago. Any day now, someone will stick a big fat condemned sign on the front of the building. Guess that makes me a slummer. The landlord did tape a note to my door telling me the bug people would be here sometime this month, so things are looking up. Thank the stars for that. I’m not much of a spider person. Give me a demon any day. I can fight that bad boy like no other, but spiders? I shiver. The whole eight legs thing really creeps me out.
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