“Wow! First Charlie, now you? It’s not like the FPD is the Galactic Empire.” I joked, trying to lighten the mood. I didn’t like where this conversation was headed, and when I saw a little grin peek out from behind his scowl, I figured my ploy was working.
Determined to gain the upper hand, I set my glass on the table as I leaned over and winked at him. Demurely clutching both hands in front of me, I said in a soft, pleading voice, “‘Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.’”
Rick stared blankly at me for a moment, not saying anything.
“What?” I groaned. “Please don’t tell me you’re not a fan, because you know that’s a deal breaker for me.”
He chuckled and said, “You’re something else. Does that snark come with the slave costume, too?” He slid a hand down my arm, sending a ripple of desire through me, and I found myself imagining him in a leather vest and tight jeans—playing Han to my Leia.
My cheeks warmed at the image, but I tried to put on a cool expression. Ending up in bed with Rick was the last thing I needed. I was barely holding on to my control today, and I thought it was unwise to repeat last night. “Rick, I’m sorry. I just don’t think I can do this.”
He stilled his hand and gave me a confused expression. “Can’t do what?”
“This, whatever this is we have going on.” I stood up and walked into the other room. “I had a shit day, and while I enjoyed last night, I’m not ready to push things like that again.” I turned around and I looked at him, trying to convey my growing frustration. “I know you think I can control my powers, but I attacked Sally from town today. She’s not just a pleb; she’s my friend. I haven’t done that since I crafted my shield. I’m worried that—I don’t know, maybe we pushed my control to the edge last night. I’m not sure it’s such a good idea for me to do that again.”
He walked over to me and pressed my hand to his chest. “I’d never make you do anything you weren’t comfortable with. You know that, don’t you?” Rick brought my hand up to his mouth, kissing the ring. “But you have to know until you get some control over your powers, things like that will always be a possibility, even with the ring.”
“It hasn’t happened in years. Why now?” I pulled my hand back. “My life has been quiet. People in town accept me for the most part, and now everything is falling apart.”
“Do you trust me?”
Did I? I’d just met Rick, and I had no reason to trust him. As a matter of fact, I had every reason not to trust him. He had agreed to spy on me. He was working with an organization that had me under investigation. I didn’t know anything about him. And despite all that, I’d shared one of the most intimate moments of my life with him. While I might not know facts about him, I knew him on a deeper, more personal level. I bit my lip, unable to put my feelings into words.
“All right, I get it. I haven’t given you many reasons to trust me.” He leaned back on his heels, his eyes appraising. “I have an idea. A way for me to earn a little trust and for you to work on your control.”
I considered him for a long moment, intrigued. “I’m listening.”
“How about we practice. Take the ring off and you can ask me anything. Use your power to gauge my sincerity.”
I thought about it for a moment. What he was offering was huge. No one had ever offered to let me read them, not even Charlie. There were so many things I wanted to know, I wasn’t sure where to start.
“Anything?” I asked.
“Anything your little mind can think up.”
I swallowed, pushing down my anxiety. Watching him from across the room, I wondered again how such an easygoing guy ended up as an Order inspector, but what I really wanted to know was what had made him despise the FPD.
“Fine, but I have two conditions.”
“Oh, and what would those be?”
“Like I said, I’ve had a crap day, and I want to have a drink before we begin.”
“And your second condition?” He asked, eying me suspiciously.
“I don’t want just a question-and-answer period. I want some history. Tell me what happened between you and Agent King, and why you’re so hell bent on keeping me away from the Division.”
SEVENTEEN
January eighteenth
The silence was a physical presence filling the room. Rick frowned, his eyes trailing toward the front door and back to me. For a moment, I thought he’d changed his mind, but then he nodded slightly and said, “Okay. After Marcus’s visit, I think you have the right to know exactly who you’re dealing with.”
I let out a breath, relieved, and walked over to the liquor cabinet. “Good. But I’m going to start with that drink.”
I brought over a couple of tumblers and poured us each a healthy glass of Scotch. I took a quick swig, trying to quell my nerves. The drink burned on the way down and settled, warm in the center.
Rick stared at me with a questioning look in his eyes and nodded to my hand. “If you don’t want to do this, I’ll understand.”
I slid off my ring, setting it on the table, and stared him down. “Oh, no. You’re not backing out on me now. I’m actually starting to warm to the idea.” I picked up my glass and tipped it in his direction. “Anytime you’re ready.” I leaned back in the chair and patiently waited for him to begin, but he sat swirling the amber liquid, letting his mood sour.
“So? Are you going to make me wait all night?” I pressed. “King said you had been assigned to a Division case before, and you seemed to work well together. What’s up with the animosity between you two? I’m guessing it’s more than inter-agency rivalry.”
“It’s that obvious?” Rick grinned sheepishly at me before he took a deep draw on his glass. “You know, I don’t think I’ve actually told anyone the whole story. I was assigned to work as a liaison. During a particularly tough case, I followed orders that I knew were wrong and people…No, not just people, someone I loved, got hurt.” He wouldn’t meet my gaze, instead examining the glass.
“As an Order inspector my main job is keeping people safe from magic. This usually means picking up illegal charms, harmful potions, and at times dangerous witches. I loved my job. I had always felt like I was making a difference. But that changed three years ago.” He downed the rest of his drink and put the tumbler back on the table. “Listen, I don’t want to bore you with all the fine details. The gist of it was I was on loan to the Division, working to shut down a cross-border potion ring. The higher-ups from the Division made a call I knew wasn’t right, and it ended with my sister in the hospital. Because I followed their orders, my sister almost died.”
The subtle shift in his mood told me there was more to this story than just a case gone wrong and a hurt sister. His words were saying one thing, but his emotions told a different story. I focused on what he was feeling. There was plenty of guilt, and I expected some anger, but what I felt was beyond simple resentment. There was rage and a healthy dose of loathing. Probing, I hit a wall; I could tell he was resisting.
“No way,” I said. “That’s not good enough. If you don’t want to tell me that’s one thing, but you’re the one who suggested this. How is this supposed to help if you shut me down before we get started? Why do you have all this rage directed at the FPD? Please, just be honest.”
He didn’t answer right away. The silence was thick, so when he finally began to speak it startled me. “Samuel and I were tracking this dealer. He’d been pushing E on the streets, but this batch was laced with a potion, Firefly. It enhances magical powers, and grants people mild empathic-like abilities and synesthesia.” His words were forced, and even though he was trying hard to remain neutral—for my benefit, no doubt—the anger was still there. “The drug was hot in the clubs, and the kids popped it like candy, including my sister. But it caused serious side effects that landed kids in the clinic. No matter how many dealers we got off the street, it always seemed like more popped up on the club scene. The case was going nowhere.”
He was still holding back a
big part of the story, so I finished off the last of my drink and decided to probe deeper. It might have been the Dutch courage, but I decided I wasn’t going to be a passive observer any longer.
As if understanding my intentions, he looked up from his glass and studied me, his pale eyes cold. His anger was broadcasting on all wavelengths now. “I wouldn’t look too close if I were you. You might not like what you see.”
The warning hung in the air between us, but I didn’t care. He was the one that had opened this door, and I was going to get answers. “I can tell you’re holding something back. Don’t handle me with kid gloves. Trust me. Nothing you say will shock me.”
Eyes closed, Rick took a deep breath. I could feel him wrestling with his turbulent emotions. Following his lead, I pulled power through the lotus and tried to gain balance between our emotions. I breathed, isolating his anger and separating it from my own feelings. I can do this, I kept reassuring myself, but my nerves were on edge. I downed the rest of my drink to dull the edge and focused on him again.
“I had the regional distributor in my custody. We could have wrapped up the case, but they wanted us to release the scumbag, and hundreds of kids ended up dead.”
“I never heard anything about this in the news.” It was more challenge than response.
“When the FPD’s experimental potions get leaked from the lab, they try and keep it quiet.” He laughed, trying to make light of it, but his harsh tone said something different. His anger was getting the better of him, and he was having a hard time controlling it. “Division’s priority was to find out who stole the potion, regardless of the consequences. Samuel was ordered to let the scumbag go so we could trace him back to the source. We argued, but he eventually convinced me it was the right thing to do. Because of that decision, my sister almost died.”
“What happened to her?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer. I picked up the bottle and filled our glasses again. The alcohol had begun to weaken my barriers. My walls were crumbling, and the emotions, the ones I tried so hard to keep on a leash, started to overtake me.
“I didn’t even know she was using. Shortly after we let the dealer go, she overdosed. It screwed with her brain.” His voice was nearly a whisper. “She’s been in a long-term care unit in Indianapolis ever since.” He met my eyes, all the pain and guilt written across his face. “I had the power to get the drug off the streets, but I did nothing.”
His guilt overwhelmed me. It was sharp and raw, and I took it on as my own. “You have to know this wasn’t your fault,” I said, putting my hand on his arm. I immediately realized my mistake. The flow of emotion the contact brought was so powerful I almost broke down.
I was unable to block him anymore; tears started to flow. All his pain, his guilt, even the rage he felt crashed into me. But not just his emotions: the electric bite of his power pulsed in, as well. The unfiltered rush was intoxicating, and I tightened my hold.
“Olivia, stop.” He tried to pull away, but I held on.
“It wasn’t your fault. It was a mistake.” I didn’t hear his command. I was lost in his story, living it myself. My mind flooded with visions of that night, of his sister in the hospital, and his heartache... I had a sudden urge to make him understand, and it was overwhelming. “We all make mistakes, and yes, sometimes those mistakes hurt the people around us.”
“Olivia! Snap out of it!” Even though he was yelling, I couldn’t make sense of the words.
His guilt and pain mixed with my own now. Every mistake I’d ever made started to replay in my mind. My whole body shook as I remembered all the people in my life I’d hurt. As I pushed past his guilt, my sympathy transformed into white-hot anger. At this point, I couldn’t tell if it was his or mine.
“Things like that happen, Rick. You think I’ve never made mistakes?” I snapped, my breathing hard and labored. “But unlike yours, the mistakes I’ve made…They weren’t just bad luck. I’ve done selfish things, for selfish reasons.” A loud rushing noise pounded in my ears, and all I could think about were the people I’d hurt. My shame and my anger. I looked him in the eyes and asked, “Do you think less of me now? Do I deserve your scorn?”
“Damn it, Olivia. Let go. ” He tried to pry my fingers from his arm.
There was a surge of power, and a solid wall of air pushed me off the sofa. “I’m sorry. Fuck.” Rick’s voice ran raw with emotion. He crouched on the floor, careful not to touch me. “Are you okay? This isn’t how I thought this conversation would go. I should have had better control.”
“What happened?” My head was swimming.
“You linked into my aura, and started to draw on my energy. I would never use my power to hurt you, please know that, but I didn’t know how else to get you to stop. I’m so sorry.” He tried to help me off the floor, but I pushed away, unwilling to touch or be touched by him.
“You need to go.” I didn’t understand what he was saying, but I was still overwhelmed by what had happened. I picked myself up off the floor and wiped the tears from my face. “I can’t be around you right now. It’s too much.”
“You can control this. I know you can.” His expression softened, and I picked up a spark of regret and concern. “Olivia…”
“Please, don’t,” I begged, taking a few steps back. I needed to rein in my power, but I couldn’t stop thinking what a mistake this had been. It was his idea, so I didn’t understand why he had tried to hide things. Still, I knew I shouldn’t have pushed, and it was all my fault. That thinking had me caught in a loop of anger and self-hate, and I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t get control.
As if reading my mind, Rick took a few steps forward and said, “Listen. This wasn’t your fault.”
I held up my hands, pleading. “Don’t touch me. You need to go, now.”
I turned, running for the safety of my bedroom. I slammed the door behind myself and slid to the floor. Tears burned my cheeks as I tried to control my breathing. This was bad. I couldn’t turn my power off, and I’d left the ring in the other room. I could feel him on the other side of the door. “Go away, Rick.”
“I’m not leaving. You don’t have to be alone.” His voice was barely above a whisper, but his disquiet and apprehension came in loud and clear.
A few moments passed and I could hear him in the hallway, pacing at first. But then his footsteps grew distant, and I thought he was leaving as requested. The events of the evening kept playing over and over in my head as I sat on the floor in the darkened room. I still couldn’t wrap my head around what had happened. It had been more than just emotions. It was almost like I was there, experiencing his memories with him. Was that what Rick meant when he said I’d linked with his aura? It was almost like the readings I did on the dead, but I hadn’t even known it was possible to do with someone alive.
After a few minutes I heard his footsteps again. He hadn’t left. I could hear him lowering himself to the floor; only the door separated us now.
“You can’t keep running from yourself, Olivia,” he said in hushed tones as he slid my ring under the door. “And you can’t keep doing this alone. I’m here for you, no matter what you decide.”
Concern and a hint of sadness filtered through the barrier between us, but beneath the cool emotions was a hint of something deeper I was too afraid to examine right now.
I picked up the ring, fingering the cold metal, but I didn’t put it on. Instead, I sat on the floor with Rick just on the other side and centered myself, sucking in deep gulps of air. I let his confidence in my ability give me strength.
I’m not sure how long I sat there meditating, but when I was finished, he was still there. I opened the door and let him in, noting his apprehension. I smiled shakily at him, trying to put him at ease.
“I’ll work on this”—I held my hand up, showing him the ring resting in my palm—“but next time we try, let’s find something light to talk about.”
“I’m good with that,” he said, returning my smile, and the tension from his posture m
elted away. Now that I was standing face to face with him, I could finally identify what had eluded me earlier. Rick was afraid—but not of my power as I’d expect. He was afraid I’d push him away. And despite my instinct to do just that, I realized I wanted him here.
That realization hit me hard. I wanted Rick here, with me, more than anything else, and that thought made me bold. “Or, you know we could skip the talking altogether.” I ran my hand up his arm, loving the feel of him against my fingertips. “We had some unfinished business from last night.”
A flash of passion rose in him, but it was quickly replaced with the cooler concern from earlier. “Not that I want to turn you down, but I think we’ve done enough tonight. ”
That’s when I noticed the weariness in his face that wasn’t there earlier. His skin was pale, and there were dark smudges under his eyes. He looked drained.
“Did I hurt you?” Panic started to swell in my chest, but Rick caught my arm.
“Now, let’s not start that again,” he said and laid a kiss on my cheek. “A little rest and it will be better in the morning. You’ll see.”
A cool, calm wave flowed over me, but it wasn’t enough to drive away my apprehension. “What did I do to you?”
“Shhh,” he soothed, running his hand down my chin. “It’s nothing a little sleep won’t fix. We can talk about this in the morning. It’s late. Why don’t you get some rest, and we’ll talk over breakfast.” He started to leave, but I grabbed his arm.
“Don’t go, please. I don’t want to be alone. Do you think you can stay and just hold me for a while?”
Rick looked hesitant, but then walked over to the bed and sat, slipping off his shoes. With a pat on the side of the mattress, he said, “Well, come on then.”
I kicked off my shoes and crawled into bed beside him, enjoying his warmth. Without a word, he wrapped an arm around me, and it wasn’t long before his breathing became slow and rhythmic. I didn’t know what I’d done to win his favor, but I decided I didn’t care anymore. I was going to enjoy every minute of my time with him, however long it lasted. Breathing in the fresh herb scent of him next to me, I closed my eyes and fell asleep, content.
Dark Secrets: A Paranormal Romance Anthology Page 194
