by Becky McGraw
She shooed Sarge off the bed, then sat down and scooted over beside him, and pulled his arm off of his face, and ran the wash cloth across his forehead, along his cheeks, across his mouth, and down his throat. Gabe moaned and sucked in a breath when she moved it across his chest. Leaning down she placed a kiss over his heart, then kissed his lips. "It's fine, Gabe...I'm fine. I'm worried about you though."
He snorted, then rolled over so his back was facing her, "Don't worry about me, Karlie. This is all my fault...I thought I could do this, but I can't...just go back to the Double B."
"Do what, Gabe?" Karlie asked and put her hand on his shoulder and rubbed.
He shrugged off her hand and said nastily, "The all night thing...sex and a sleepover. Like I said, I don't have women stay at my place, so just go...it's better for both of us."
Karlie's heart thudded then skipped a beat, it was so soaked in hurt. "Sex huh? That's what I was to you...tell me that straight up, Gabe, and look at me when you do it," she told him then climbed over him and grabbed his shoulders. "Open your eyes, dammit! Tell me!" she yelled at him and shook his shoulders.
"Fucking back off, Karlie...I can't talk about this right now," he grated, his face flushing red, and she saw a tear leak out of the corner of his left eye.
"Talk to me, Gabe," she begged him in a broken whisper. "Tell me what's wrong...I want to help you."
When he vaulted up in the bed and grabbed her shoulders, Karlie automatically whimpered, then shrank away from him and folded her arms over her head protectively. Gabe sobbed then his fingers loosened on her shoulders and he pulled her into his chest, holding her. "Oh, god, baby...I'm sorry I scared you," he said kissing her hair and rubbing her back. "I'm not fit to be around, darlin'...you need to leave."
"I'm not leaving you, Gabe," she told him firmly against his chest. "No matter how nasty you are to me...I made it through what Jake dished out to me, I can help you get through this."
He shoved her away from him then and pinned her with angry blue eyes. "Don't ever compare me to that bastard again, Karlie," his nostrils were flared and she saw his fists clenched along with his jaw. "What am I to you Karlie, a project? A charity case? If that's what you think of me, you really can get the hell out of here...now. I don't want your fucking pity, and I don't need your help."
She slid across the bed to stand and look at him, tears burning behind her eyes as she told him, "Well, you need someone's help, Gabe. You can't keep all that crap inside of you and expect to have a normal relationship with anyone. No, you're not a fucking project to me...I love you, and wanted to help you, but obviously you don't need anyone." Karlie spun on her heel and stomped out of the room, and through the cabin to the front door.
Karlie was halfway back to the Double B, watching the sun bathe the landscape in a tangerine glow. She would appreciate the beauty of it more, if she wasn't so mad she was seeing it all through a red haze. That red haze almost made her miss the red and blue lights flashing in her rearview mirror, and the police car hauling ass to catch up with her. She looked down at her speedometer and just realized she was going ninety-five.
With a groan, Karlie pulled over to the shoulder and shut off the engine, then laid her head on the steering wheel, and rolled down her window. Memories of the last time she'd been pulled over flashed through her mind, and she felt hot tears track down her cheeks. She wouldn't be hog-tying whoever was pulling her over this time. She'd learned her lesson about doing that, and about good-looking lawmen with bad attitudes. She was done with them...done with men.
Lifting her head, she picked up her purse off the seat and pulled out her wallet, then extracted her license and reached to the glove box for her insurance and registration. She sat back up and held them out the window without looking. She didn't need to see who the copbot was that was going to give her another ticket she couldn't afford.
When a wet tongue licked her cheek, she turned and caught a kiss from Sarge right on her mouth. She wiped it off with her forearm then pulled him into the car, and put him on the passenger seat. When she turned back around, she was half pulled through the window and got a kiss of an entirely different kind...this one heated her blood and pulled a moan from her lips, before she was released and fell back in her seat.
"You forgot your dog...and you forgot to say goodbye to me," Gabe said his eyes glittering angrily. He jerked her license out of her hand and then told her, "And you were fucking doing ninety-five."
Her eyes traveled over his naked chest down over his tight white boxers to his bare feet and she couldn't help but laugh at him. "New uniform, Sheriff? I have to say, I approve."
Gabe looked down at himself and his face flushed, as if he just realized he hadn't put on clothes before he left the cabin. That made her laugh harder and she said, "I think I need to make a citizen's arrest for indecent exposure. Maybe they'll let us share a cell," she hooted.
He leaned inside the car again and kissed her hungrily, then pulled back and said, "Come back to the cabin with me, Karlie...I'm sorry I was such an asshole."
Emotion clogged her throat and she shook her head, "I can't Gabe...I'm done with trying to fix men. I need to fix me now."
"But you said you love me, sugar...we can work this out, because I love you too, Karlie. I'm willing to work on it if you are, but you're running out on me again."
"I do love you, and tried to stay...but you pushed me away, said you didn't need my help. Maybe you're right and this is something you need to work out on your own. Until you can make peace with the guilt eating you, you're going to be miserable," she put her hand to his cheek and told him, "The world is not on your shoulders, Gabe...you're not responsible for everything that happens. Once you accept that, give me a call and we'll try again, okay?"
Gabe turned his head and kissed her palm. With sadness in his eyes, he sucked in a deep breath then shook his head then pushed up on the windowsill to stand. "I love you, sugar...remember that," he told her softly then turned and walked back to his cruiser.
Tears slid down her cheeks, then down her throat, and between her breasts, as she watched him get into the cruiser and turn off his flashers, before he put it in gear and turned back toward Bowie.
Telling Gabe that had been the hardest thing she'd ever done in her life, but one of the most freeing. Karlie had finally figured out how to say 'no' to a fixer-upper, as much as she wanted to say 'yes'...so why did she feel so shitty about the decision?
CHAPTER NINE
Three days after she'd left Gabe's cabin, Karlie was sitting at the table with Cassie, Luke and Carl Bellamy eating a delicious dinner that Imelda had left for them. She thought something might be up with Carl, because he was so quiet tonight. The grizzled, but friendly, old man was usually talking up a storm about anything and everything.
Cassie evidently noticed too, because a frown pinched between her blond brows before she asked him, "You feeling okay today, daddy?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, Cassie Bee...just got some bad news today."
"Oh yeah? What kind of bad news?" Cassie asked him setting her fork down on her plate, giving him her full attention.
Karlie watched his blue eyes fill with emotion, as he told her, "Bud's leaving for Wyoming for good...retiring. He told me today."
She knew that Bud had been Carl's best friend and ranch manager for over thirty years. Him leaving had to be a tough blow for the old man. It was probably time for Carl to retire too, but Karlie thought he'd probably always have his fingers in things, even though Cassie and Luke were basically running the ranch.
Cassie shoved back from the table and went around to hug Carl, "I'm sorry, daddy...I know you're gonna miss him, we all will. You knew it was coming though."
"Yeah, but didn't think it would be so soon," Carl told her and dropped his head.
"You know it's time, daddy...let's not make it harder on Bud to leave though...how bout we throw a big re
tirement party for him? A barbecue next weekend or something. We can invite the whole town, and make it a big send off."
Carl nodded then gave her a wobbly smile. "That sounds just fine, Cassie Bee...I think he'd like that." Karlie saw tears in both of their eyes, but acceptance too.
She could use a party herself, she'd been in the dumps, since she'd gotten back here, and needed something to break her out of the funk. Missing Gabe was her problem, she knew, but there wasn't a damned thing she could do about it, without going back on her promise to herself.
Gabe hadn't been by here to see her, and she didn't expect him to come by. The way they'd left things between them hadn't really left that as an option for him. Thinking back on what she'd said to him, she probably could have left a little room open for them to still see each other, while he worked on his issues, but she hadn't, and she really didn't know how to fix that.
"You have any ideas on a replacement for him?" Luke looked at Carl and asked.
"Not really, but I'll ask around. It's gonna be damned hard to replace him. Bud is the Double B, he ran the place and just let me hang out with him."
Cassie laughed and squeezed his shoulders, "That's not true daddy, you've worked damned hard right by his side. Maybe we should make it a double retirement party, for the Double B?" she suggested with a little fear in her eyes. "Then you could go visit that woman you've been talking to in Amarillo more."
Carl sucked in a breath and his face flushed, then he narrowed his eyes and said, "What the hell would you know about that little girl?"
Giving him a smug smile she said, "More than you think daddy...I'm not as blind as you think I am."
"Never said you were blind...I just thought I was being discreet."
"She called for you once, and I answered the phone...sounds like a very nice lady."
"Damn, I told Sheila not to call here..." Carl said grumpily.
"You deserve to be happy, daddy. It doesn't bother me...I'd like to meet her sometime," Cassie told him in a choked voice, her eyes shining happily. "So what do you say...you wanna hang up your spurs next to Bud's next weekend?"
"Yeah, I've been thinking about it anyway...you and Luke have your feet steady now running it, and I'm just in the way," he said dropping his gaze to the table.
Cassie sucked in a sharp breath then told him angrily, "You are not in the way--you are the Double B and that will never change, daddy. Even if you're retired, we'll still need your advice and help. Anytime you feel like getting involved, you just step up."
He chuckled. "Wondered if that would get a rise out of you...you know I'll always have an opinion about things...but retiring will give me more time to spoil my grandbaby," he told her then patted her round belly.
"Damned straight, and you can deal with the consequences of that spoiling too, old man..." she said sternly then laughed.
Karlie stood up and said, "Thanks for a wonderful dinner, everyone. Why don't ya'll go in the living room and talk about the barbeque and I'll do the dishes tonight." They needed some time alone to talk, she knew. Although the Bellamy-Matthews family had welcomed Karlie back with open arms, sometimes she felt like she was in the way. As much as she liked them, she wasn't part of the Bellamy clan...she was an employee.
Never having been around such a tight-knit family, it made Karlie nervous sometimes. Uncle Jerry had been good to her and Katie, but he'd been busy trying to make money to support them, and they didn't just 'hang out' with him a lot, except when he was giving them roping and riding lessons. Other than those times, it was just her and her sister trying to figure out the world they'd been tossed into.
Thank god for her twin, if it had just been her, she didn't know how she would have coped. Karlie's thoughts went to little Dixie Tucker, and she hoped her sister was trying to help her, because she didn't have anyone to help her figure things out.
Gathering up all the plates, Karlie took them to the sink and scraped them in the trash, then rinsed them before putting them in the dishwasher. Imelda had cleaned up the pots and things, so that was all she had to do, other than wipe down the counters and table. Maybe she'd go ride JoJo when she got done, she still had an hour or so until sunset, and she hadn't ridden him in a while. She'd been so busy with Cassie's horses, she hadn't had a chance, and before that she'd been in Amarillo. JoJo was probably bored from being in the stall and small turnout paddock, and she was depressed and missing Gabe. They both could probably use a little fun.
Karlie laid the dishrag over the sink to dry and then headed out the back door to the barn. The air had cooled off some from the intense heat of the day, and the calmness of the night was setting in when she walked inside the barn. All she heard was chomping and soft snorts and neighs from the occupants of the barn.
The lights had already come on and she was thankful, because it was pretty dim in here in the evening otherwise. Luke had put them on a timer, and it was working well. It looked like Bud or Cassie had already fed the horses tonight, because they were all munching on fresh hay as she passed the stalls. Titan stuck his nose over the stall for a scratch and she stopped to give him a little love.
He was such a pretty boy, she had a hard time avoiding standing there all day just gawking at him. Three of the mares were pregnant by him now, and Karlie knew those were going to be some fine colts. She'd checked his lineage and saw that he had some really good cutting stock in his bloodlines too. Maybe she could train one of them for that, if Cassie wanted her to that is. Karlie hugged his neck and laid her cheek there, because she was so damned lonely she didn't know what to do with herself. She loved her job, but something was missing, something vital that she needed. Gabe...she missed him to the depths of her being.
"Lucky horse..." a familiar sexy voice said behind her as if she'd summoned him up from her thoughts.
She looked up at Titan and said, "Did you hear that Titan? I could have sworn I heard my second favorite man in the world talking to me. It's probably just my imagination though, because I miss him so much." The big buckskin rubbed his muzzle against her shoulder and snorted.
"Kinda sounds like your snort, huh?" Gabe said behind her with a laugh.
She turned around to face him with mock-anger and put her hands on her hips. "You need to work on your flirting skills, sugar. That's not a nice thing to say to a lady," she told him then laughed.
Gabe closed the space between them, and pulled her into his arms for a heated kiss. When he pulled back from her and said close to her ear, "How's that for skills, baby?" all she could do was nod, because she was too busy trying to find her breath and restore the blood flow to her brain. When her brain kicked in, so did her intense desire for this man.
Tiptoeing, Karlie placed tiny kisses at the corner of his lips, before sealing her mouth with his for an encore.
With a groan, Gabe moved his hands to her butt and pulled her tighter to him, and she could feel his steely hardness pressed against her core. It felt so good Karlie couldn't help but move her hips against him, then waves of pleasure shot through her, and she moaned.
He pulled back from her and his breathing was as erratic as her own, and a flush rode high on his cheekbones. With eyes glittering with desire, he shoved her back into the stall door and took her mouth again, pressing into her, while teasing her tongue into an erotic dance. His hands moved to her breasts and he rolled her nipples with his fingers, abraded them with his thumbs.
Shoving her fingers into his hair, she followed him step for step, then she felt an orgasm barreling down on her and turned her head to the side panting. "Oh, god, Gabe...I'm going to co--" she whispered, and he lifted her up a little so he hit the right spot, and he kissed and licked her neck, while he moved against her.
Karlie moaned as electric current sizzled along her nerve endings and her body trembled against him, she bit his shoulder to keep from screaming as the orgasm slammed into her like a freight train. When her body
and breathing finally settled, she put her forehead against his shoulder and a let go a shuddering sigh. "No, you certainly don't need lessons there, darlin'...wow."
He shoved her against the stall and she felt his erection still hard against her thigh, as he groaned near her ear, "I've missed you so much, baby...I need you so much." With weak knees and her body still buzzing, Karlie grabbed his hand and led him to the stairs by the hayloft. Tilting her chin she motioned him up there then started up the stairs ahead of him. When she got to the top, she started unbuttoning her shirt, and by the time his head came over the top of the loft, she was half naked.
"Get your clothes off, cowboy...now," she ordered as she shucked off her boots and jeans. Gabe's eyes widened then he grinned, "You don't have to tell me that twice, darlin'," he said and pulled his t-shirt over his head then started unbuttoning his jeans. Karlie walked over to him and helped him, because dammit he wasn't going fast enough.
