In response, she opened eyes sunken in and surrounded by deep purple smudges. "Hello. Glad you could make it." She breathed in deeply and glanced around the room. "What time is it? I keep losing track. Day and night blend together in this God-awful place."
He stepped to the window and reached for the closed curtain, wishing he could take all the pain from her and dump it on himself. It killed him to see her this way. "It's seven o'clock in the evening, but it isn't dark yet. Would you like me to open the curtains?"
"Sure."
He pulled the drapes open, feeling her gaze on his back. Being with her wasn't simple anymore. So many things lay unspoken between them. It was killing him. All the self-imposed silence, all the wondering.
She reached a shaky hand and adjusted the scarf covering the remaining strands of hair on her head. "You're not your usual chatty self. What's wrong?"
He didn't bother smiling. She wouldn't see it, and she wouldn't believe it if she could anyway. "Yeah. I've done a lot of thinking lately. There are a few things bothering me."
She pushed the button on the bed's side-rail and raised the head of the bed, then patted on the mattress. "Come. Sit. Tell me."
"I don't know. I'm not sure it's a good time."
"Baloney. Sit. If you didn't want to talk about it, you wouldn't have mentioned it."
He sat.
"Now, talk."
"Well." He sighed. This was hard. He hated talking about feelings, relationships, that sort of thing. "It's about you and me, for one."
"What about us?"
"I was wondering. I need to know how you feel about me." He sounded like a girl!
She tugged the sheet higher up her chest and tipped her head. "What did my mother say to you?"
"She didn't say anything. I was wondering, that's all."
"Why now? After all this time? We've been friends for what--three years? Four? Are you thinking you and I should...Is this because I'm sick? I don't need your pity."
"I don't pity you."
"Then what's this all about? You're confusing me. For the past four years, you've continuously told me I was the sister you never had. You told me all about your mother, and the time you spent in juvenile detention, why you need friends so much, what I mean to you. Isn't friendship enough anymore?"
"For some reason, I don't think it's enough for you."
She sat gape-mouthed and stared at him. "What gives you that idea?"
"Why won't you answer me?"
She reached for the bedside tray, but it sat beyond her reach. He stood and pushed it closer, then poured some ice chips into a paper cup and handed it to her. "Thanks," she whispered before tipping her head back and shaking some into her mouth. Staring out the window, she said around the mouthful of ice, "We are friends, like brother and sister. That's all."
He didn't believe her, and he wondered why she was lying. She'd never lied to him before. Her set jaw, and the way her arms tensed across her chest, both told him she wasn't going to say any more about that subject. "Okay. Can I ask you another question?"
She nodded. "After the last one, I hope this isn't another doozie."
"It is."
"Go ahead." Her words were more sighed than spoken.
"What happened between you and your sister?"
"Why are you asking me that?" Her gaze drilled him, but he held his gaze steady.
"Because, well. You know how I feel about family--"
"All respect, Rainer. Let it go. Don’t meddle. You might have some warped need to create a family for yourself, and I've never complained about your over-ambitious activities in the past. But you won't do anyone any favors if you get involved in this."
"Please. Tell me."
"It's not worth talking about."
"If it's standing between you and your sister, it's worth talking about," he insisted, leaning closer. A part of him felt extremely guilty for badgering her when she was so weak. He reminded himself he was doing it for her sake. "I'm not trying to be a pest, or meddle. You're my friend. I hate to see you harbor such hostility right now. It's not going to make things easier for you."
"Yeah, yeah." She waved a dismissive hand. "That attitude thing again." She slumped her shoulders. "My difference with Hailey isn't going to do any more damage than it already has."
"How bad could it be?"
"She took everything I had, including my fiancé at the time. That's how bad."
"All this hatred is over a man? I thought sisters didn't fight about men."
"That's only in the movies. Besides, it was more than that." She closed her eyes. "No offense. I'm glad to see you, but I'm getting very sleepy."
"No offense taken." He ran his hand over her forehead and brushed a few blonde strands from her face. He shouldn't have pushed so hard. Regret tugged at his heart, and he decided it would be better to go back to Hailey and ask her. At least if he did that, he wouldn't risk her health. "You sleep. I'll be back later."
Her mouth formed a soft smile, and she nodded her head.
Later that night, as he lay sleepless in bed, he wondered why he was being so persistent. Neither sister wanted to make the first move toward reconciliation. Why should he force them?
His pager awakened him hours later. Bewildered, half asleep, he glanced at the clock before rummaging over the nightstand's top for the buzzing beeper. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been paged in the middle of the night...
Heidi?
He pushed the button. Grabbed the phone and dialed the number glowing on the green-tinted screen. "Dr. Hartmann here."
"Hi, Rainer. It's Jim. I need to talk to you about Heidi Jenson."
"What is it?"
The line was silent. "I know she's a friend of yours. I wanted to call you right away--"
"What's wrong?" Rainer asked, scared, and feeling a number of other emotions he couldn't exactly identify.
"She's spiked a fever. We've increased her antibiotics, but I'm not sure we can keep going with the chemo."
Rainer's heart grew heavy, then dropped to his toes. His head drooped, feeling too weighty for his neck. He irritably smoothed his hair from his face. "Damn!"
"I'm sorry. I've already called the mother. She's on her way in. Anyone else I should call?"
"No."
"Okay, then. See you later."
"Thanks, Jim." Rainer hung up, then checked the clock again. Midnight in California. Maybe Hailey was a night person. He dialed her number, not surprised when her answering machine greeted him with a hazy recording, "Hello. No one's here to take your call. Leave a message." Beep.
He hesitated, holding the phone over the cradle. What kind of message could he leave? He lifted it to his ear. "Hi. This is--"
Beep.
Damn machine! He hung up and laid down. Shadows crept over his bedroom ceiling as the tree outside the window bent in reverence to a gust of wind.
He'd call tomorrow morning. By then he'd have more details. Besides, he reminded himself, she wouldn't book a flight until morning anyway.
Reserved he'd wait until morning, he forced his eyes closed. But when the phone rang, his lids flew open and he hurled forward in bed. Clumsy, he fumbled for the ringing annoyance, knocking over a stack of books and sending them thumping on the floor. Once he had the receiver in hand, he lifted it to his ear. "Hello?"
"Hello? Rainer? You called me?"
Must have Caller ID. Rainer's heart stopped. It was Hailey. A flood of heat shot to his face. "Hello, Hailey. Yes, I did call you."
"Well, it's pretty late here, so I'm assuming it wasn't a social call," she said, sounding worried. "What's wrong?"
"You're right, it's not a social call. I'm calling about Heidi."
"Is she okay? You never got back with me on those tests--"
"I'm sorry about that. My fault. I should have called you sooner. Your tests came out fine." He used his free hand to plump his pillow against his headboard and reclined against it, tugging the covers over his chest.
"Then what's the problem?"
/>
"I think you'd best catch the earliest flight back here that you can manage. Heidi has developed an infection, and we're not sure whether we'll be able to continue the treatment."
"An infection?" The line silenced. "You're giving her medicine, right? She could get better, right?"
"We're doing everything we can."
"No doctor bullshit. Tell me the truth."
"I'm telling you the truth. We're doing everything we can. But I can't make any guarantees." He closed his eyes, visualizing the fear in her face. Eyes slitted and moist, her mouth drawn.
"I'll see what I can do. Call me tomorrow morning with an update."
"Will do. Goodnight, Hailey."
"Goodnight."
Rainer dropped the phone from his ear. As he reached to hang it up, he heard her voice. He lifted it to his ear again. "Yeah?"
"Thank you, Rainer." Her voice trembled.
"You're welcome."
He hung up the phone and tried to fall asleep, but he knew there was absolutely no way he'd be able to. With murky shadows and thoughts of Hailey and Heidi to keep him company, he lay restless in bed, awaiting the dawn. When his clock struck five, he got up, showered and went to the hospital, hoping he'd see a much-improved Heidi, not only for Heidi's sake, but also for Hailey's.
Chapter 8
Hailey lept from her bed when her alarm sounded across the room. Her eyes were gritty and blurred, and she tripped over yesterday's clothes as she dashed across the room. She reached on top of her armoire to shut off the nerve-grating noise, accidentally knocking over her crystal candlesticks. Still unsteady, she faced her bed, longing to climb back into its cozy warmth and sleep at least another ten hours.
But no rest for the weary--wasn't that the cliché?
Worries heaped on top of worries. First, there was the legal issue with the land donation, which she hadn't been able to do a thing about, even when she'd hunted down Nancy and paid a visit to the courthouse yesterday. Plus, there was today's pet adoption day and the regular responsibilities at the shelter.
And now she had the added worry of her sister's latest complication.
Not that she hadn't been concerned before. She had been. But she thought everything was under control. Heidi would get her chemo and her new bone marrow and get better.
That wasn't for certain anymore, not after last night's call. Rainer was a doctor. He wouldn't have called unless he thought there was a chance that Heidi might...Darn it, she couldn't even think the word!
She jumped in the shower and dressed, sweeping her hair into a ponytail. Then she dashed through the living room to her phone, not stopping to admire the sight out the wide picture window like she did most mornings. Instead, as she scoured the phone book for her travel agent's phone number, she turned her back to the distant blue water and haze-covered morning sky, still tinged with pink and lavender.
She glanced at the clock. Six-thirty. Way too early to call the agency. She tried the direct number to the airline, hoping they had a twenty-four hour customer service department.
Bingo! She booked her flight and hung up.
Her next call would be to Pete, and she had no idea what she would tell him. They'd never discussed her family, and she'd liked it that way for a number of reasons. For one, she didn't want to explain what happened, since she was nearly at a loss to understand it all herself.
Besides, there was no time for chatting. Her flight left in less than three hours. She'd have only enough time to pack and get to the airport. It would take extra time since she'd be driving to the airport in the heart of rush hour.
Then she had a thought. Knowing him, he'd be at the shelter by now, getting the dogs ready for today's event. She could leave him a message on his home phone.
Chicken! She chastised herself. Gutless coward! She dialed his phone number, but hung up when his answering machine clicked on. She owed both Pete and Andrew at least a personal call--especially since she was leaving them on such a busy day.
"Hello? Paws and Claws," Andrew answered after two rings.
Hailey sat on the arm of her couch. "Andrew, it's me."
"Yeah, Hailey. What's up?"
"I've got an emergency. A family thing. I have to go out of town. Is Pete there yet?"
"Yeah, Pete's here. You want to talk to him?"
"In a minute. I just want to apologize. I hate to leave you guys like this --"
"Don’t worry about it. We can handle things here. You go. We'll be fine. Here's Pete."
"Hailey?" Pete's voice traveled to her ear, and she smiled, despite the turmoil she was in.
Every nerve and muscle in her body was tight, and she needed rush to the airport--despite knowing she had plenty of time. Nothing would go fast enough. "Pete. I have to go to Michigan. I'm sorry for leaving like this, with the adoption day today and the land thing."
"It's okay. You go, but keep in touch. I want to make sure you're all right. Promise?"
She sniffled. Her nose burned. "I promise. Thanks Pete."
"You're welcome. Just remember, I'm here if you need me."
"Okay. Bye."
"Goodbye, Hailey. Have a safe trip."
She hung up the phone before she felt too compelled to explain everything to him. She tossed some clothes into a suitcase and drove to the airport. As she boarded the plane, she had the strangest feeling she was leaving behind a part of herself, that her life would be dramatically different when she returned.
If she returned.
###
"Hailey, Hailey Jensen," she heard as she stepped through the security stop at Detroit Metro. Was she exhausted, delirious, hearing voices? She could swear she heard Rainer. Had he come to meet her? In a way, she hoped he had.
She scanned the sea of strange faces around her, some old, some young, female and male. No sign of him. "I'm losing it," she said, walking toward the escalator to luggage claim in the basement. As she stepped on the top stair, a gentle tug at her elbow made her jump and turn, nearly sending her toppling down the moving stairs. "Rainer! You scared the hell outta me!"
He smiled and helped steady her. "Nice to see you, too."
"How did you find out what time--"
"I talked to Andrew."
Her heart thrummed in her chest. He didn't! What did he tell Andrew?
"Don't worry," he said, stepping off the escalator at the bottom. "I didn't tell him a thing, other than I was supposed to pick you up at the airport."
"I wasn't worried about that," she lied, trying hard to look carefree and casual. She scanned the television screen-like display for her flight number, then joined the crowd at the end of the long room. The carousel was still empty, and she grimaced. It was going to be a long day.
"Do you have a hotel room booked?" Rainer asked, standing beside her.
"Nope. I don't. Stupid, eh? I'll probably be stuck staying in some dump on Eight Mile."
"No you won't, and I would never call you stupid," he said, his voice sounding so earnest, she turned her head to look at him. His expression was as solemn as his voice.
Then she noticed how exhausted he looked. His rumpled clothes and slightly mussed hair reminded her of the last time she'd seen him. That awkward time when she'd been tempted to stay in the city she hated. That awkward time that still stirred memories and heat. "You look like hell."
"Well, I see you haven't changed."
"Me change? Never. What you see is what you get."
"I know better than that." Those words were no simple declaration. To Hailey, they sounded like a challenge.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she countered.
The belt started moving, and people gathered closer. Hailey moved into position at the end, wedging herself between an elderly woman with a cane and a woman her age with a child--a cute little girl she guessed was about three or four, wearing a denim baseball cap over her blond curls and a deep scowl. A pang of regret slammed her stomach.
Her child, also a girl, would be about that age now. She would proba
bly have blond hair too.
How many times had she looked at a strange child and wondered what her child would have been like?
"Isn't that yours?"
Isn't what mine?
A nudge at her back returned her to the present. "That garment bag. Isn't that yours?" Rainer asked. He stood behind her, his breath warming the back of her neck.
"Oh, yeah," she mumbled, reaching, but knowing it was too late. She'd wait until it came around again.
But Rainer evidently wasn't so patient. He pushed past her and grabbed the bag's handle before it disappeared through the flapped doorway. Then, stepping back and apologizing to the people around them, he took Hailey's hand and said, "Ready to go? Or do you have more?"
"No. That's it." She absently squeezed his hand and followed him to the escalator.
He glanced over his shoulder, then released her hand. "Oh. Sorry. It's a habit."
"It's okay." And she meant that. She liked the way her small hand fit in his bigger one. Surprising, shocking, but true.
They walked the seeming miles to his car in silence, Hailey wishing he'd reach back and take her hand again, and attributing her strange reaction to exhaustion and her shaky emotional state. After they'd driven at least a half-hour, she asked, "How is Heidi?"
"When I saw her last, the antibiotics were doing the job. She was alert, pretty much herself. A little disoriented." He kept his eyes on the road, giving Hailey an opportunity to study the slant of his nose and jawbone and the hollow under his cheekbone.
"Disorientated?" Concern gripped her stomach, already woozy from the flight. "Is that normal?"
"Sometimes."
She didn't like the sound of that. "What's that mean?"
"Well, it all depends upon how a patient responds to the chemo. Like I said, she was okay when I saw her last. I think the worst is over--for now."
"Are you trying to make me feel better or worse?"
"I'm not trying to do either. I'm giving you information. Not too little to keep you in the dark, nor too much to make you worry about something that isn't likely to happen." He turned the car onto the main road leading to his home, and she realized the route had become familiar to her. Already. And when he pulled into the driveway, she felt like she'd come home.
Rescue Me (a quirky romance novel about secrets, forgiveness and falling in love) Page 9
