She placed a hand on his face. “I’ll…” Her voice hiccuped as a sob broke through. “I’ll miss you too.”
“Hey, now,” he said. “It won’t be for too long. And if it is, I can always fly out to see you.”
Not knowing what else to do, she nodded, then let him take her into his arms as she reveled in the feel of his strong masculine body against hers.
When they reached her RV the next morning, Reese’s gaze swept over her home on wheels. The rust spots jumped out to her, and she realized she had gotten used to living in Brody’s gorgeous beach house for the last week, and that her home looked pitiful by comparison.
“Here we are,” Brody said as he stopped beside her RV.
They climbed out of his Porsche, and before getting her things from his trunk, she unlocked the RV and climbed in. When she saw that everything looked the way she had left it, she smiled. Though the idea of leaving Brody left her bereft, the one bright spot was that she was back in the place she felt most at home.
“Everything look okay?” Brody asked.
Reese turned to see him standing in the doorway. “Yes. Everything’s fine. Just a little warm in here.”
“It is June.”
She laughed, but it was forced. “Let me just get my stuff out of your trunk.”
He nodded, and she followed him down the steps and to his trunk where he lifted all three brown paper bags out before carrying them into her RV.
“Where do you want these?” Brody asked.
“You can just put them on the floor. I’ll unload them later.”
After he had done what she had asked, there was nothing left to do but say good-bye. Reese’s chest compressed, but she forced in a deep breath, knowing that would help her control her emotions.
“Text me when you stop for the night tonight,” he said, then smiled. “Otherwise I’m going to worry about you all night.”
Guilt lanced through her at her deception. “Of course.” And she would text him, but eventually she would have to tell him it was over.
He stepped closer and pulled her against him, then murmured, “I love you so much, Reese.”
Tears flooded her eyes, and she whispered, “I love you too.”
She stayed in the circle of his embrace until she had gained control of her emotions, then she gently pulled away and gazed into his blue-green eyes, eyes she would never forget.
“Drive safely, my love,” he said, then he kissed her once more before climbing out of her RV.
The click of the door closing was the only sound she heard, and after pausing for only a moment, she climbed behind the wheel of her RV. Brody stood beside his Porsche, and as Reese turned the key to start her engine, her heart began to pound a rhythm of regret, a rhythm that picked up its pace as she put her RV in gear and pressed the gas pedal. And when she looked in her rearview mirror and saw Brody waving, she found it hard to see where she was driving as the tears clouded her vision.
Wiping at her eyes, she blinked and focused on the road, then carefully pulled into traffic. When she was quite a distance from where she had parted from Brody, she pulled off the road and parked her RV before going into her bedroom and collapsing on her bed in a puddle of tears.
Sobbing at her loss, she found it a small comfort to know that she had done what was best. And after she had wept until there were no tears left, she cleaned her face, climbed behind the wheel, then pulled back onto the road, ready to move forward with her life. Hopeful that Brody would be able to move forward with his.
Everything will be okay. I know it. Everything will work out the way that it should.
Clinging to that belief, she drove on, toward an unknown future. A future that held the slim promise of eventual happiness. She didn’t know how that happiness would come about—or if it even would—but she knew that whatever happened, she would never forget Brody Ford, and never stop loving him. Never. She had surrendered her heart to him, and he would own it forever.
Part Four
Bring Me Home
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Bring Me Home (Searching for Love, Book Four)
Copyright © 2015 by Christine Kersey
All rights reserved
No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.
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One
Reese angled her RV down the familiar street and saw the entrance to the mobile home park where she had spent her childhood. Heart pounding, she pressed the gas pedal instead of the brake and drove right past the turn that led to her mother.
“I’m not ready,” she whispered as her gaze sought out the trailer where her mother lived. Not able to see it, she continued driving, then pulled into the parking lot of a nearby grocery store where she let her RV idle so she could run the air conditioner.
She thought about the email her brother, Seth, had sent a few days before, telling her that their mother’s liver was failing, and asking her to go see her. For the sake of her brother, who was serving in the military in the Middle East, she had agreed to come. But now that she was here, she wasn’t sure she would be able to follow through.
She hadn’t seen her mother in well over a year, and during that time she hadn’t kept in touch with her. As much as Reese had wanted to be close to her mother in her growing-up years, her mother’s alcoholism and prickly personality had made that difficult. In addition, her mother had always favored Seth over Reese, leaving a large gap in the relationship between mother and daughter.
And now, with all that had happened with Brody—falling in love, his mother convincing her that she wasn’t right for him, leaving Malibu with the determination to end things with him—life had become so complicated.
Sighing audibly, Reese rested her head against the back of the driver’s seat and stared at the ceiling, then let her eyes drift closed. An image of Brody filled her mind—his blue-green eyes, strong masculine jaw, and the way his face lit up when he smiled.
Tears flooded her eyes, and she wondered how long it would take to repair the shattered pieces of her heart.
You haven’t even told him that it’s over. How are you going to manage that without having a complete breakdown?
Rolling her head from side to side against the headrest, she held down a sob, then sat up straight and opened her eyes. Using the heels of her hands, she wiped away the tears that had slipped down her face, then she picked up her camera from the passenger seat and scrolled through her photos until she found one of Brody.
Gently touching the screen with the tip of one finger, she struggled to recall the moments with him that she had stored in her memory bank. Moments she had known she would need to store for the future when things with Brody inevitably came to an end.
Yes, Reese. You knew from the start that it couldn’t last. The only surprise was that it was Brody’s mother who had finally put an end to your dreams.
Reese thought about her last meeting with Grace Ford, the day of the family barbecue several days earlier. Grace had pointed out that Reese’s background—her father in prison, her mother an alcoholic—would be a liability to Brody’s future. Deep down, Reese had always known that, but her love for Brody had become so all-encompassing that she had denied the truth.
Grace, on the other hand, had had no problem with telling Reese what she had needed to hear. She had gone so far as to offer Reese twenty thousand dollars to help her on her way. Though it was mo
re money than Reese had ever seen before, she had refused the offer. And when the email from Seth had arrived asking her to visit their mother, Reese had grabbed onto the excuse to leave Malibu with both hands.
Brody had wanted to come with her, but she had insisted it was something she needed to do alone. Leaving him with the belief that she would be coming back, Reese had driven away, distraught at the knowledge that she would never see him again.
Now, as she listened to the gentle rumble of her engine and stared at the people coming and going from the grocery store, she knew it was time to stop thinking about Brody and to face her mother. She had promised her brother that she would let him know how their mother was doing, and she would follow through. She owed him that much.
Reese climbed out of the driver’s seat and walked to her fridge, then took out a bottle of cold water and sat on the couch. Allowing herself a few minutes to drink the entire bottle, she gathered her courage, bracing herself for how her mother would respond to seeing her, as well as bracing herself to see how sick her mother really was.
After tossing the empty bottle in the trash, Reese climbed behind the wheel, then drove back to the trailer park. Knowing there wouldn’t be enough room to park her RV inside the trailer park, she left it on the street. Drawing a deep breath, she got out of her RV, locked the doors, then walked towards her mother’s place.
Frowning, she couldn’t help but contrast her mother’s humble circumstances with Jim and Grace Ford’s gorgeous home in Los Angeles. And when her mother’s mobile home came into view, memories of her childhood assaulted her—her mother locking herself in her bedroom while Reese and Seth were forced to get themselves off to school after scrounging around for a few bites of food, then coming home to a mother passed out on the couch, as well as a father in prison.
Imagining Brody’s idyllic childhood in comparison, Reese was doused with anger towards her mother.
Why couldn’t I have had a carefree childhood? What did I ever do to deserve the circumstances I was given?
She paused at the base of the steps that led to her mother’s front door and closed her eyes for a moment, reminding herself that she no longer lived there, that she was making a life for herself. At least she had been making a life for herself. Falling in love with Brody had changed things, and now she would have to start all over again.
“Reese? Is that you?”
Reese’s eyes snapped open, then went to the face of the woman standing in the doorway. “Mom?”
Two
“I wasn’t expecting you,” her mother said, her forehead creased. Then she opened the front door wider. “Why are you just standing there? Come in.”
With some reluctance, Reese mounted the stairs and stepped into her childhood home. The curtains were closed, and it took a moment for Reese’s eyes to adjust to the dim interior, but once they did, her gaze swept the area. To her utter surprise, the room was relatively tidy and clean. Even the smells were different than she remembered—instead of stale alcohol, the room smelled like whatever her mother had cooked earlier.
Then her gaze went to her mother. Abdomen swollen, streaks of gray in her shoulder length brown hair, Diane Jacobs stood in place looking Reese over. “You look good,” her mother said.
Reese stared at her mother and wondered if she really had become sober as she had told Seth. “Thanks.”
Diane motioned to the worn-out couch. “Sit.” Then she settled onto an adjoining recliner and pulled the foot rest up.
Trying to pull her gaze away from her mother, Reese sat on the couch and crossed one leg over the other.
“So,” her mother began, “why’d you come?” She laughed. “I mean, I haven’t seen you in ages, and you show up out of the blue.” Her mouth tightened. “I hope you’re not here to ask for money, ‘cause I don’t have none.”
Slightly offended at her mother’s assumption that she was there for money, Reese couldn’t exactly blame her for wondering. Not after she hadn’t been in contact with her. “No, Mom. I don’t need any money.”
Diane’s head tilted to one side. “Then why’re you here?”
Deciding to get right to the point, Reese said, “Seth asked me to come.”
Her mother’s face softened. “He’s a good boy.”
Reese had to agree that her brother had always been a bright spot in their lives. He had been the only one of the two of them to stay in touch with their mother. “Mom, he said you’re sick.”
She waved her hand. “He’s exaggerating.”
Reese’s eyes narrowed. “So your liver’s not failing?”
With a shake of her head, Diane said, “That’s what the doctor said, but I stopped drinking, and now my body’s healing.”
On the long drive to visit her mother, when Reese had stopped for the night, she had researched liver failure online and had read that it was common for alcoholics to claim that they were getting better even as their liver continued to deteriorate. Despite that, she wasn’t going to argue the point with her mother. “I’m glad to hear that. Seth will be happy to know that you’re going to be just fine.”
“He’s a good boy,” Diane said as if she hadn’t said it only moments before.
Reese had also learned that mental confusion, as well as a swollen abdomen, were common symptoms of liver failure, and she wondered how advanced her mother’s case was. “When did you last see the doctor?”
Her mother scowled. “Is that really any of your business? I mean, why do you care all of sudden?”
Hurt that her mother thought she cared so little—but isn’t that true?—Reese’s gaze fell to her lap. You don’t have to stick around. Just get the information to report to Seth and leave.
Reese lifted her eyes to find her mother watching her. “Never mind, Mom. You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.”
Her mother’s lips pursed. “Good.”
Wishing her mother had a softer side, Reese held back a sigh, then pushed a smile onto her mouth. “Is there anything I can do for you?”
Her mother laughed, but it sounded harsh. “Yeah. You can give me a piece of your liver.”
Startled, Reese recoiled slightly. “What?”
A smirk formed on her mother’s mouth. “Haven’t you ever heard of living donors?”
Reese shook her head. Though she knew people with failing livers often needed a new liver to survive, it hadn’t occurred to her to offer her own liver to her mother. “No.”
“Well, I’d like to keep on living, and a new liver would go a long way towards making that happen.”
Tilting her head to one side, Reese said, “I thought you said you were getting better.”
“I am.” Her mother’s tone conveyed defensiveness. “But just in case my liver acts up, I’d like to get a new one.”
Reese was about to reply, but her mother began having a coughing fit. Alarmed at the way her body shook, Reese jumped up from the couch and hurried to her side. “Are you okay?”
Her mother ignored her and pressed a tissue to her lips. When the coughs subsided and Diane wiped at her nose, Reese couldn’t miss the smear of blood on the tissue. Certain her mother didn’t want Reese to comment, she took a step back and asked, “Can I get you a glass of water or anything?”
“I can take care of myself.” Irritation laced her mother’s voice.
Tamping down the hurt that swelled within her, Reese went back to the couch and wondered if there was a way to break through her mother’s hard exterior. Growing up, Reese had never felt much affection from her mother, and had serious doubts that she ever would. Nevertheless, she knew she needed to ask the questions that Seth would want answered.
Not wanting to annoy her mother, she hesitated before speaking. “If you want a new liver, can you get on a transplant list or something?”
A fresh scowl darkened her face. “I’ve been sober for five weeks, but they say I have to be sober for six months before I can get on that damn list.”
Though she had only been
sober for five weeks, Reese was pleased to hear that she had made it that long, and a genuine smile curved her mouth. “That’s so great, Mom.”
“What is wrong with you?” Anger filled her voice. “I could be dead before I get on that list.”
Reese’s smile evaporated as her heart plummeted. “I…I didn’t mean…”
Her mother turned her head so that she was looking away from Reese. “Just go, would you?”
Clamping her jaw closed to keep her chin from quivering, Reese nodded, then stood. She walked to the door and opened it, but before stepping out, she drew in a deep breath and turned to face her mother, who was now watching her. “I hope you’ll be okay, Mom.”
To her surprise, her mother’s expression softened. Diane nodded, then said, “Thanks for stopping by. Maybe…” She shook her head. “If you’re still around, I guess it would be okay if you came again.”
Taken aback, Reese didn’t know what to say, but after a moment she nodded and a tentative smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “I will.”
Three
Trudging out to her RV, Reese replayed the conversation with her mother and contemplated the idea of becoming a living donor.
But do I really want to give her an organ? Would she even appreciate it?
Not sure where to go, after Reese got in her RV and got the air conditioning going, she used her phone to look up inexpensive RV parks in the area, then headed towards the nearest one. Once she got her RV situated, she emailed Seth and gave him a report on her meeting with their mother, then asked him to find out the name of Diane’s doctor.
That evening as she was cleaning up after dinner, her phone rang. Knowing there were very few people who would call her, she assumed it was Brody. Heart pounding, she looked at her screen and saw a picture of his face. Not ready to tell him that things were over between them, she answered the call with a bright “Hello” as she sat on her couch.
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