by Karina Halle
I cried out, swearing, my nails digging into his ass and lower back as he let out what could only be described as a roar, his body stiffening. He came hard inside of me, his eyes rolling back in his head.
He held that position, one frozen in the pain of pure pleasure, before exhaling and crumbling on top of me, his elbows propping up most of his body weight, his head now on my chest. I caught the smell of his shampoo and closed my eyes, my breath struggling to catch up, our chests rising and falling against each other in unison.
We lay like that for some time, breathing, being. And when the passion, the dream-like state of our fucking wore off, I was left with thoughts I didn’t want to think. Guilt for what I had done. Disgust for who I had done it with.
And yet, a sick part of me didn’t regret a thing. It felt destined, bound to happen, something that had never come full circle until now. There was a sense of closure and peace that settled over us, like the tiny white petals that were flying through the air, swept in by the afternoon breeze.
“Ellie,” Javier said. “Yes?”
“You’ve gotten wilder.”
“Have I?”
“Yes. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle you anymore.”
I smiled to myself but it quickly faded.
I didn’t know how I was going to handle myself either.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CAMDEN
I dreamed of Ellie again.
We were back in the large cavernous room, no walls, no ceiling, just a darkness that went on forever. The ground was black satin sheets disappearing into infinity.
Ellie was on the sheets, in cheesy white lingerie she’d never wear in real life but it made me happy to see her in such a frivolous thing. She looked amazing, curvy and soft, crawling toward me on all fours, her breasts pushed up to her throat. Every part of me itched to touch her, hold her, possess her. I felt like if I didn’t, she’d be taken away, becoming someone else’s.
“Ellie,” a voice called out from the distance. Deep, dark, ominous. “Eden, Eleanor, Ellen, Emily, Elaine,”
Ellie turned her head to look, freezing on the spot.
“Ellie,” I tried to call to her, to get her to notice me, to keep crawling. But the words were lost in the room, sucked away.
Suddenly a cold wind blasted me, ice crystals forming on my glasses. I cleared them off in time to see Ellie slowly getting to her feet and walking the other way.
“Don’t go!” I yelled though my voice came out in a whisper.
She stopped and turned her head to the side, barely looking at me before averting her eyes down.
“He says he’ll make me his queen. I have to go.”
I made a move for her but only got about a foot before I wasn’t able to move anymore. I was frozen in place, crystalizing from the bottom up.
A black shape formed behind her, growing in the moment, something so large and dense and malevolent that it seemed to take up all the space in the room, in the world, the universe. A flash of white teeth, coming for her.
Run, I screamed in my head. Ellie did not. She smiled in awe and stuck her hand out to touch the beast, it disappearing into the blackness.
Then she screamed and yanked her hand out. It was covered in blood.
Run, Run, Run.
And she did.
She tried.
She turned and tried to run but fell to the sheets.
The black beast descended on her. It grabbed her by the legs, swallowing them whole with that inky darkness.
Ellie screamed for me, fear taking over her eyes, her fingers desperately grasping the satin sheets, trying not to be taken.
The beast dragged her back and devoured her until there was nothing left but the abyss.
And there wasn’t a single thing I could do about it.
When I came to, for one split second, I thought I was back in Sins & Needles, lying on the floor of my tattoo parlor. I thought maybe everything had been a dream and I hadn’t tortured anyone for information or ignited someone’s face on fire or was on the run from the law. I thought maybe none of it happened and I was Camden McQueen again, a good boy. Weak, but good. There was a sense of relief in that.
Then my eyes started to focus on the ceiling and I realized that I wasn’t in a tattoo parlor, I was in a veterinary clinic. I could smell the urine and chemicals and fur, hear the twitterings of various animals. Some woman was leaning over me with a stethoscope in her ears.
“He’s awake. Hello, Camden, I’m Carlotta Valdez.”
I blinked hard and tried to sit up but she pushed me back down with a firm yet delicate hand.
“You’ll be alright, just take it easy. You’re heavily sedated. Gus didn’t know what to do with you, poor man was a little crazy. You’re really lucky, that bullet didn’t hit any arteries. The wound was pretty clean. You’ll heal up nice.”
I closed my eyes, feeling the wooziness sweeping over me. “Where is he? Where am I?”
“You’re in my clinic. Normally I treat dogs and cats but business is a little slow on Fridays, so I made an exception.”
I opened my eyes again and looked at her closely. She was in her mid-thirties, pretty good looking actually. Large nose though it suited her face, good bones, nice, gentle eyes. Her hair was dark and gathered in a tight bun. She seemed trustworthy but I guess it didn’t really matter if she was or not because I was lying on a cold table used to treat ailing pets and felt like I had enough drugs in me to bring down a horse.
“Hey,” I heard Gus’s low voice from beside me. I turned my head to the side and gave him a small smile. He looked like he’d aged ten years, the lines around his eyes deeper. “How does it feel knowing you were shot by the Mexican police?”
“Like I’m on drugs.”
Gus smiled and looked over me at Carlotta. “So am I his nurse now?”
She grinned and tapped her clipboard with her pen. “Yes, you certainly are. Camden will be a good patient I’m sure. He’s much more agreeable than some of the cats I treat. You’ll have to keep him hydrated and his arm needs to stay in the sling for a few weeks.”
“Fuck,” I swore. Being disabled wasn’t going to help me in the long run. I needed to get to Ellie and for that every part of me had to work. The blackness that took her still haunted me.
“I’m sorry,” she said, not sounding very sorry. “But you’ve been shot. So that’s what happens. Be glad that cop wasn’t trying to take your head off, because he could of.” She sighed and looked at Gus, her eyes soft. “I really wish you weren’t doing this, especially with him banged up. It’s too dangerous.”
“We’ll be careful,” Gus said.
Her lips twisted wryly. “I don’t think you’ve been all that careful thus far.”
Gus patted my good arm. “Camden is a lot stronger and smarter than he looks.”
“I’m sure he is. The glasses help.” She reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a business card. “I know you have my number already, but here’s my email. Keep me updated. Let me know how he is and if I can do anything to help.”
“You’ve done enough already, Carlotta, thank you.” Gus put his hand behind my shoulder and began to push me up. “Slowly now, Camden.”
I couldn’t move any slower. I felt like I was pushing through quicksand. Once I was up straight, the room spun around until it slowed. Hell, these were some drugs. I was sure my eyes were rolling around in my sockets.
Carlotta appeared by my side with a glass of water and held it to my mouth. “Just a little bit.”
The moment the water hit my lips, I wanted more, all of it, but I held back and eyed her over the rim. “I guess you know why we’re here.”
She nodded. “Yes. Gus was very forthcoming. I’m sorry I can’t be much help. I treat animals and worried pet owners, I don’t know all that much about Travis Raines and the cartels, just what everyone else knows about him.”
“Well, we’ll manage. Thank you for fixing me.”
With great effort, I got to
my feet and outside the vet clinic. We came out the back door to where the car was parked. Night had fallen and the GTO looked like a ghostly wreck under the lights of the parking lot.
Gus waved at Carlotta then put me in the backseat, lying me down.
“I thought this was suspicious,” I reminded him, slurring my words a bit.
“Have you seen the car?” he pointed out, getting behind the wheel. “We’re a moving target for the police now.”
“I guess it’s time to ditch the old girl,” I said sadly.
“Isn’t this car called Jóse? Funny name for a girl. And I’m not ditching it, there’s far too much stuff in here, this was Ellie’s life. We’ll ditch it when we find her. I’m not stopping until we hit Veracruz.”
I was too dazed to argue. Gus revved the engine and peeled us out of the parking lot.
“Where are we anyway? What happened?” I asked.
“We’re in Cordoba. A little off course, but Carlotta was the only person that I knew could help us.”
And not turn out to be a traitor, I thought to myself.
He continued, “She owed me a big favor anyway. I caught her father without papers in LA. I turned a blind eye and allowed him to stay. Carlotta grew up in California, then moved back home after school.”
“Why would anyone move back here?”
“She missed it, I guess. It’s not all bad. Hell, they might have the drug wars but their economy is a lot stronger than ours at the moment. She seems happy. She’s married. We had a long chat while you were out.”
I nodded, my head rolling to the side. “How far are we from Veracruz?”
“About a hundred miles give or take. We’ll be there in time for the nightlife to get good.”
“Nightlife?”
“Carlotta told me that Travis goes to this club every Friday night. It’s pretty much public knowledge. It’s very cheesy, touristy, frat boy jackasses, that sort of thing. He has his own room, a lot of guards obviously. I’m guessing he probably owns the club by now. Anyway, security is extremely tight. Metal detectors, passport scanning and the works. But if she’s right, he’s there tonight. And maybe Ellie is too.”
I opened my eyes, trying to fight through the cloud. “How will we get in?”
“Maybe we won’t have to. We’ll find her and follow her. Either way, we’re tourists and we’re white. We’ll sail under their radar.”
“With my arm in a sling?”
“Maybe not. You’ll stay in the car. I’ll go investigate.”
I hated that idea. I wanted to go with him. I wanted to see her with my own eyes. I needed to. It wouldn’t be real otherwise.
The monotony of the engine and smooth highway began to lull me to sleep. When I woke up, I’d be in Veracruz.
“Gus?”
“Yes?”
Fragments of my dream were choking me. “Do you think we’ll get Ellie back?”
Pause. “We’re going to try.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
ELLIE
Things got very messy, very fast.
After the incident in the orange grove, we made our way back to Alvarado. Since my shirt was ruined, I had to hike my skirt up to my chest and wear it as a strapless dress. That, of course, exposed Camden’s tattoo on my leg which both made Javier sullen and moody and me feel like a piece of shit. Camden. I succumbed to the past and my hormones and years of pent-up feelings. That’s all it was. That’s all it had to be. I couldn’t fall for Javier again. I couldn’t.
That’s what I kept telling myself. So what if I told him that I was “his?” I didn’t mean it.
I didn’t.
I wasn’t the only one who arrived back at the fish shop looking different. Javier had a shiner forming on his right eye and his lip and nose were swollen from my punches. The minute we climbed the stairs and Raul and Peter saw what happened, I knew their tongues were wagging.
Javier and I went to our room, closing the door on their questions. I walked over to the window and stared out at the ocean, the low, dark clouds on the horizon that never seemed to come any closer. They just hovered there, ominous and waiting.
I felt his energy at my back, his presence, his gaze. Then he came closer to me and placed his hand on my bare shoulder. I closed my eyes.
“Angel,” he said seductively. I didn’t have to give into it again.
“I think that was a mistake,” I said softly.
His breath hitched. “It wasn’t.”
I stared at the horizon. The clouds were still not moving.
“I have to get … I know what I have to do. Now is not the time to start dredging up the past, to get involved in this.” I couldn’t let him fool me into thinking he’s all I’d ever have.
He placed his lips on my neck. I didn’t flinch. I pretended it didn’t feel good, electric.
“And what is this?” he asked, when he pulled away. I could feel he didn’t go far, his mouth was close, tickling my skin.
“Javier, this is a distraction. You know it. I have to get to Travis.”
“I admire your sudden dedication,” he murmured. “But we both know there is no stopping this. You are my queen, Ellie. And when Travis is gone, you will rule with me.”
I didn’t want to be his queen. I didn’t want to rule over a terrible kingdom, a land of violence and strife. I was good, somewhere, I knew it.
Yet, I was going to help murder Travis Raines.
He let go of me and walked over to the closet, rifling through his clothes. “Tomorrow night, I will take you to The Zoo,” he said, his voice back to business. “The club Travis will be at. Should be at. You’ll go to the bar and order a drink and look for him. When you see him, you will not react. You will continue to scan the club. I just want him to see you. Then the next day, at the market, perhaps he’ll have something to talk to you about.”
I gulped air. Panic fluttered through me, tiny winged insects.
“And what if he wants to talk to me at the club?”
“Then you talk. We’ll have you in something like you wore today. If he’s anything like me, he’ll want to rip your shirt right off you, just to get a taste of your tits.”
I spun around in shock. “You want him to do that?”
He shrugged, back to me. “No, I don’t particularly want him to. I don’t want any man even looking at you. But in the name of revenge, yes, it will have to do.”
I glared at him as I came over, stopping at his back. “So I’m a sacrifice?”
“Yes. You’re good at making those now, aren’t you?” he said sarcastically.
He faced me, a twisted smile on his bruised lips. I felt like making them worse all over again.
“There are things we have to do in order to get what we want. You shouldn’t let your conscience, or your feelings, ever stop you. We are both stronger than that.”
The image of him in bed with the redhead. Patricia.
“You’re a sacrifice,” he went on smoothly, “I’m sacrificing you.”
“For the greater good,” I said snidely.
“Except there is no good here. This is for us. The greater us.”
I shook my head. I knew I’d have to get Travis’s attention, I just didn’t really think it would have to go to that, that Javier would let me, but apparently that wasn’t the case here. He probably would care if I slept with Travis—I mean, I know he would, judging by the anger in his eyes every time he looked at my cherry blossoms, but he didn’t care enough to not have me do it.
“Okay fine. I go get his attention. Then what?”
“Then we play it by ear. Maybe go on a date with him.”
My lip curled. “With that … that man, Javier, I have to go out with that man.”
He put both his hands on my arms and brought me into him, his eyes staring deeply into mine. “I wouldn’t have you do this if I thought you couldn’t. I know you can. You will be all the better for it. Can’t you see what you’ll become?”
I looked down. “I’ll become like you.
”
He brushed my hair off my face. “My dear, you already are like me. You always have been.” He placed his lips on my forehead. “Why do you think we work so well together? A soul needs its other half to truly live. I said that to you once, do you remember? That was a long time ago.” His lips trailed down to my ear. “I don’t have a soul,” he said softly. “You make me feel like I do.”
He led me over to the bed and gently pressed me down onto it. He kissed along my collarbone, nibbling as he went. “I have no interest in redemption anymore. If I did, I know I’d find it in you. Deep inside.”
He pressed his erection against my leg. Hunger flared up inside me, hunger that made me feel disappointed in myself. For letting him do this. For liking it. For wanting it when I should know better.
He came up off my chest, his fingers already finding me wet for him.
“So drenched,” he whispered, taking his fingers up and sliding them across his lips. “This taste. You’re ready to be fucked again.”
With one swift and powerful motion, he flipped me over on my stomach and pulled my skirt up around my waist. He grabbed the back of my hair and yanked my head back, painful pleasure radiating out from my head. The sex in the orange grove was child’s play; I’d forgotten how rough he could be.
He didn’t give me much time to prepare for him before he thrust himself inside, my body expanding from his fullness. “You’re wet but tight,” he growled in my ear. “Perfect.” He slipped his hand over my throat and closed it there like he used to do. Instead of applying gentle pressure, just enough to feel taboo, to make me light-headed, he full on clamped his hand like a vice.
I had no air. I couldn’t breathe. I started to squirm and he pulled me back harder with his hand, yanking my hair with the other, still thrusting into me in a frenzied rhythm.
