by Holt, Mina
“There’s no way you could possibly look awful, love,” he said, “just train yourself not to look at the pics or stories they post. It will all be okay, I promise.”
“I believe you,” I said, “and I promise I’ll try to shrug it off.”
He took my hand and kissed it at the next red light, smiled at me and I realized the little problem with paparazzi was going to be worth it to be with him. I would get used to it, I had to.
***
We showered, dodged Auntie G’s questions, and made it to work at two minutes past noon. Basically on time, close enough at least.
He found a spot right in front of the bookstore and slid the car in expertly. I could not parallel park to save my life, so there was yet another thing that Gavin excelled at that I couldn’t do. I guess I would have to count on my newly found skills at giving the perfect blow job to keep him on the hook.
I smiled to myself at this, he looked at me and I kissed him to avoid explaining my train of thought. I would die if he knew how much he was corrupting my mind and becoming a part of my every waking moment.
He was dropping me off, then he was going to go meet his agent for a late lunch, coming back and spending some time with me at the store and take me home afterwards. We were going to dinner later on, and then back to his place. This time I was going to bring a change of clothes so I could come to work directly in the morning.
He’d insisted on that. He’d insisted I bring my toothbrush and makeup bag. And when he commanded things that sent a thrill of pleasure up and down my spine, I obeyed.
How could I tell him no? How could I spend the night alone in my little bed knowing he was alone in his? How could I not spend every night in his arms, our limbs tangled and our hearts fluttering against each other?
“So this is it,” I said and opened the door. He jumped out and rushed around to help me up. I blushed, feeling a little out of my element with his care and attention. At least there were no cameras to catch my awkward extraction from his low little sports car.
“I’ll see you in,” he said and kissed me, just whisper of the kisses we’d had all night, but the passion he conveyed with even a single brush of his lips on mine was enough to make me flame red hot. I wondered who in the store had seen it.
“It’s okay,” I said, “I’m already late.”
“I insist,” he replied, “or are you embarrassed of me?”
He grinned and I laughed. “It’s not that, I just don’t want you to discover how utterly dull my existence actually is.” I thought about Gavin in the dusty shelves of the store, larger than life crammed into my tiny space, and I couldn’t make myself believe it.
“I want to see every part of your existence,” he said, and stared into my eyes, “you may find it dull, but I find you and your life fascinating. It amazes me that you’ve been here all along, and I might have gone years without finding you if fate hadn’t brought us together.”
“I think you mean Jenny,” I said and laughed, “she’s the one who pushed me in front of you.”
“Then let’s thank Jenny, but let’s get you in there before you’re fired and forced to come work for me,” he said, “and I guarantee I won’t be half as easy as your current boss. I would make you work for your money, love.”
He slapped my ass as I stepped away from him and I giggled. I knew he was joking, but fucking hell, holy hotness…the idea of me working for him as some private sex slave…my god I couldn’t get that thought out of my head. What a fantasy to keep me going through my boring workday.
The bell on the door rang as we stepped through. My boss, Mrs. Whitfield, aka Marta, was standing behind the counter talking to Sylvie, the gorgeous French college student she’d hired just a couple of months before.
Normally I might feel a little threatened bringing my kinda sorta boyfriend around such a hot girl, but Sylvie was hard to hate. On top of being stunning, she was what Auntie G would call, “an absolute dear.” She was young, maybe nineteen, and had big, bright eyes that lit up at the slightest good news.
When she clued into who was standing by my side, I thought those big brown eyes were going to pop out of her head though. It was comical.
I knew Marta recognized him, betrayed by the slightest widening of her eyes, but apparently decided to play it cool. Sylvie, however, gasped and made annoyingly adorable squeaking noises while fanning herself.
“Sarai,” Marta said, “how good of you to join us. Are you fully recovered from your…what was it, headache? Is that what kept you from work yesterday?”
She was a sly old bat, but I loved her. I laughed and said “Yes, thank you Marta, I have fully recovered.”
“Are you going to introduce us to your friend? Or is he your taxi driver? Do you need me to cover your fare? I’ll deduct it from your paycheck,” Marta said and gave Gavin a sidelong glance. She had a little smirk on her face that indicated she was enjoying this a little too much. She’d always worried that I wouldn’t find somebody, that I’d end up dead under a pile of newspapers at home or something.
Why is it when a woman was single over the age of twenty-five, everybody in her life assumed she was on the long, lonely road to spinsterhood?
“I assure you, her ride has already been paid for,” Gavin said with a mischievous grin and held out his hand, “Gavin James, at your service. Is there anywhere I can take you today, ma’am?”
I thought Marta was going to lose it right there, she did her best to not burst out laughing and replied, “I do believe I’m rather good, thank you.”
“Anytime,” Gavin said and tipped an imaginary hat at her.
She finally giggled and turned to me, “My god Sarai, where have you been hiding him?”
“She met him at the book event and she left with him and everybody said they slept together but I didn’t think Sarai would do something like that but now that she called in sick for the first time in five years according to you and she walks in with Gavin James on her arm like it’s something that happens every day I think she might have slept with him don’t you think Marta?” Sylvie blurted out in one long, steady stream of uninterrupted wordage.
“My god Sylvie, take a breath,” I said and smiled. I grabbed Gavin’s hand and added, “He’s just a guy I like, it doesn’t matter that he happens to be on the cover of almost every romance we have in the shop. He’s a friend. Chill out.”
Now I was the one who was desperately trying to play it cool.
Sylvie looked like she was about to faint. She bit her perfectly adorable bottom lip and managed to look, well, perfectly adorable. I think I always looked a little like the hillbilly from The Simpsons crossed with a Shih-Tzu when I tried it. I’d practiced in the mirror for days after Fifty Shades of Grey had made the big time.
Marta eyeballed Gavin and said, “Are you, in fact, her friend?”
He nodded yes and gave my hand a squeeze. I had the feeling he wanted to say we were more than friends, but didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. I loved him for it. I mean, damn, I appreciated him for it. It was too soon to use the ‘L’ word in any context. Right?
“Would you come do a signing?” she asked, putting him on the spot.
“Marta, please, he’s just dropping me off,” I said, “don’t make the poor guy uncomfortable. I mean any more uncomfortable than Sylvie there drooling and sweating while staring at him with that weird look.”
I shot Sylvie a little warning glance, but she was too caught up ogling Gavin to notice. I know how she felt though, I had been like that before we got to know each other. I think the night we met I must have looked like a grinning bobble head of myself. Thank god he never seemed to notice.
“I don’t mind, love,” he said to me and turned to Marta. “What sort of thing do you have in mind?”
“Nothing too much,” she replied, a little too quickly which let me know she’d been thinking of this. I’m sure she and Sylvie had been going over the blog stories together and Marta’s brain had been formulating this plot. I
couldn’t fault her for it though, she was an independent bookseller swimming upstream against the big digital book sites. “I was thinking like a meet and greet. So people could come here and have their books signed by you, the ones you’re on the front of.”
“I could do that,” he said and looked thoughtful, “and you know what? I’ll do it for Sarai. No need to contact my agent, no need to pay me. Just promise you’ll give my girl here a couple days off when I need her and we’ve got a deal.”
Marta grinned like I’d never seen before and said, “Deal! It’s done. Let me work out our calendar and I’ll get back to you through Sarai. Sound good?”
“Good enough,” Gavin replied and leaned in to peck me on the cheek. “I’ll see you in a bit,” he said, “I’ll come back after lunch and help you put books on the tall shelves.”
I blushed and turned away from Marta and Sylvie. I stood on tip toe and kissed Gavin, a proper kiss, no tongue, something I could have done in front of Auntie G or the President.
But it still sent that crazy electric shock from the roots of my hair to the end of my toes. It still made me feel woozy and light headed and like getting naked and leaping into his arms.
He waved goodbye as he left the shop, the little bell above the door signalling his departure.
I brushed my finger over my lips and could still feel him there. I shook myself out of it and turned to get to work.
Marta and Sylvie were staring at me wearing twin looks of absolute admiration.
“What?” I asked and pushed past them to put my purse under the desk in our employee safe. It doesn’t lock, by the way, in case you’re ever in the neighbourhood and looking for a quick buck.
Marta raised her eyebrow, shifted her weight to the opposite leg and said, “Seriously? Are you going to make us beg?”
I looked at Sylvie, she mirrored Marta’s stance and said, “Spit it out.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, not entirely sure where they were going with this.
“You spent the night with Gavin James,” Marta said and laughed, “Tell us everything!”
I smiled and walked to one of the aisles and started tidying up the shelves. The two of them stood behind me and I could feel their anticipation. Finally after a couple minutes, I decided I couldn’t leave them hanging any longer.
“He’s really nice,” I said, “a perfect gentleman.”
“That’s all you’re going to say?” Sylvie exclaimed.
“I’m sorry, I don’t kiss and tell,” I replied.
“Oh mon dieu! You kissed him!” Sylvie squealed and grabbed my arm.
“I’m pleading the fifth on this one, ladies,” I said, “I’m sorry.”
They looked disappointed, but I wasn’t quite ready to tell anyone about the amazing time I’d had with him.
The world got Gavin James all the time, twenty four seven. He was stalked and photographed, talked about and ogled. Let him have a few private moments, especially if they were with me.
No matter how much the world wanted it, I wasn’t going to share the Gavin I knew with it.
I would keep him tucked away, deep in my heart and in the secret curve of my smile.
He was mine.
Chapter Four
“When is he stopping by?” Jenny asked and smoothed her hair for the hundredth time. We were sitting in my room going over some blog business. Gavin had dropped me off at work and I’d gotten Jenny to pick me up in order to dodge the paparazzi. They’d been following me around from time to time, and my car was well known. They’d followed Gavin to his meeting and Jenny’s car wasn’t recognizable, so we’d managed to get out of the bookstore unscathed and unphotographed. Jenny had seemed upset by it; I swear she’d dressed for appearing on some gossip site somewhere.
“An hour or so, for dinner,” I said, “he’s taking me to some new Asian fusion place he’s heard about.”
“Not Red Ginger, is it?” she asked.
“Uh, I think so, why?”
“That is the hottest restaurant in Seattle right now! How did he get reservations?”
“I don’t know, I think he might know the owner, or one of his bodyguards arranged it. Something like that.”
“You are such a lucky cow,” Jenny said, “Do you know that?”
“I do,” I replied, but at that moment I didn’t feel so lucky. At least Jenny didn’t make me feel as though she felt I deserved the luck I had. I know she was envious, but there was something more to it, something meaner that I hadn’t seen in her before.
Jenny was a bitch. There, I said it. I had never realized how much of one until Gavin came into my life.
We’d been together for almost a month now, and it never failed to amaze me when I woke up next to him. He was charming and loving and of course, so blazing hot I felt like I was sleeping next to the sun.
He claimed he felt the same way, every morning he told me how amazing it was that he’d found me…as though he’d been looking for me all along. It was starting to dawn on me that he was serious, that I was as beautiful as he said, and he was as lucky to have me as I was to have him.
The blogs were starting to be a little kinder to me as well. Jezebel had done an opinion piece on how enlightened he must be to choose brains for once. I felt a little awkward, being the brainy one instead of the hot one, but I’d take it. At least they weren’t calling me Nerd Girl like TMZ still seemed to be doing.
I was learning to ignore it all though, and stop Googling Gavin and my names every morning before getting out of bed. I was starting to feel like a normal human being, and sometimes even like a sexy, luscious woman.
And then I hung out with Jenny and once again felt like a frumpy beggar eating table scraps while the rest of the world was at some wonderful buffet.
“So what did you think of my review?” Jenny asked, and I was happy to let her change the subject.
“It’s good,” I said, “but honestly, I only put three stars or above on the site. If the author contacts you directly, offer the reasons you didn’t enjoy the book, but don’t post it on the site.”
“You still haven’t given me admin powers anyways,” Jenny said, “so I couldn’t post it even if I wanted to.”
“I’ll get to that,” I said, “how did you like the final book in the Burning Ink series?” I had already read her glowing five star review on that one, but wanted to deflect her insistence that I give her control of my blog.
She had a good argument, I wasn’t reading much these days and had zero time for the blog, but it was still my baby and I’d worked so hard on it. People depended on me to find their next book boyfriends and worlds to escape to. Before Gavin, that had been the most important thing in my life, but now I’d become that awful stereotypical girl who dumped everything for her man.
I hadn’t meant for it to happen like that, but apparently even I wasn’t immune to the overwhelming nature of love.
Love, yes, I said it. I was falling in love with him a little more every day.
I hadn’t said it yet, and neither had he beyond his little pet name for me, but we’d begun skating around the issue. We would say things like, “I love your hair, it looks great,” or “I love that you read that book.” We’d drop those little L bombs in our daily conversation as if trying the word on for size.
Lately it was feeling more and more like a perfect fit, I just didn’t want to be the first one to say it.
Jenny droned on about the story and I smiled, nodded and made appropriate noises where necessary. She wasn’t half bad at reviewing, better than I’d thought to be honest, but I still couldn’t hand over the reins to my baby.
“And so that’s why I think she’ll write one more,” Jenny finished up her assessment.
“But she said she’d never write another one,” I told her.
“I don’t mean to sound cynical, but I think that’s a way for her to make money,” Jenny replied.
“You might be right, but I think you should keep that out of your review.”
I blushed and said, “Of course it is!”
“Really?” Jenny asked and leaned towards me on the bed, glanced around with a secretive look and said, “how big is it?”
“Jenny!” I exclaimed, mortified, “I’m not going to talk about stuff like that.”
She sat back and screwed up her face, “Come on, you’d tell me every detail if he weren’t famous. What, are you afraid I’ll run and tell the tabloids that Gavin James has got a four inch dick? It’s just between you and me, tell me.”
“Seriously Jenny,” I said, “I would never tell you a thing about him, whether he was famous or not. Think about it, did I ever tell you the intimate details about my other boyfriends? They weren’t famous, and I told you nothing.”
“I probably never asked,” she said and smirked, “besides, if he had a big one, you’d be bragging about it, so my question is already answered.”
“Not everybody is you, Jenny,” I retorted, “I don’t need to tell you every damn thing about my sex life to have you validate it.”
“No need to get so huffy,” Jenny replied, “I was just joking you know. But seriously, if he was good at it, you’d be yelling it from the rooftops.”
“I’m done,” I said, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“It’s fine,” Jenny replied with a huff, “I’m kidding. Gawd, you never used to be so uptight. I think all the attention is getting to your head. Stop taking yourself so seriously!”
“I’m not,” I said, hoping she’d drop this before I was pushed too far. I didn’t understand her dogged obsession with Gavin and I…all the details, our sex life of all things. She’d never really cared before, had barely given my other boyfriends the time of day. She’d always over shared with me, but I hadn’t ever considered it a problem before today. Now it bothered me, I didn’t understand why she was so interested.
