by Lucy Lennox
“Shit,” I muttered.
Derek crawled over to where I sat huddled in a ball with my arms wrapped around my knees.
“Jude Marian, I would love to move into the apartment over your garage,” he said, intense green eyes penetrating my defensive shell.
“Really?” I squeaked like an idiot.
“Yes, really,” he said, straddling me in a comical reversal of our usual positions on the couch. His large hands cupped my face, and he continued locking eyes with me.
“Leaving you each week to go back to my lonely apartment is killing me. Being here where I know you’re under the same roof will make a big difference to my peace of mind. But please know you can change your mind at any time, okay? If you decide it’s too much or it’s not working for you, be honest. I don’t ever want to make you feel uncomfortable.”
I broke out in a jagged laugh. “You’re crazy if you think I’d ever want you to leave. What I really want is for you to move in with me, but we both know we can’t do that right now. At least with the apartment, it will pass as a mere convenience factor. And we’ve been together long enough that everyone knows we’re friends now.”
“How much is the rent?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye.
“Fuck you. I’m not even going to dignify that with a response, asshole.”
“What if I insisted?” he teased.
“Then I’d demand payment in sexual services rendered. You can work it off with your mouth,” I replied.
“Can I start right now?”
“Hell yes,” I said, pushing him off me and racing for my bedroom. Heavy footsteps ran closely behind.
Before he had a chance to take charge I spun and tackled him onto my bed, and he let me. My hands shucked off his shirt and began working on his belt buckle.
“Oh, I almost forgot about the second part of your present,” I said.
“You’re going to suck me off too?” he teased. “Why, thank you. I accept.”
“Okay, I meant, I almost forgot about the third part of your present.” I smiled up at him while my fingers continued to remove his pants. “I want to bring your family to the Super Bowl.”
Derek propped himself up on his elbows. “Really? God, Jude. My dad and brothers will flip. Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. Ollie said she can book their flights with my frequent flier miles so they don’t think it’s a big expense. They’ll be in the box seats that were given to the band, so you can just tell them it was an easy way for me to give you an end-of-the-year gift. My dad is coming too, with Pete and Ginger. None of the rest of my family really cares that much about football.”
My hands had already started their appreciative fondling of my favorite Derek parts and I could see the conversation portion of our exchange coming to a swift end.
“Thanks, Jude,” he hissed, and it was somewhat unclear whether he was referring to the Super Bowl or the fondling. I didn’t give a shit.
“Mm-hmm,” I murmured as I licked and teased him with my tongue.
Derek’s stomach muscles contracted and I ran my hand over them in appreciation of their bumpy definition. I set a mental note to never rush his nightly routine of crunches and pushups.
“Why are you still dressed, goddammit?” he growled, grabbing for my shirt.
He helped me strip down and then grabbed my hips and lifted me up onto his face. A hot, wet tongue found my ass, and I gasped, “Fuck yes.”
Derek’s mouth assaulted me while I scrambled to hold on to the headboard.
He brought me back down until I was lying on top of him kissing his mouth and running my hands through his short hair. His face was dark and his eyes were blazing green with desire.
I leaned over to the nightstand and grabbed the lube, squeezing some out and slicking his shaft before my own.
Derek’s hips kept arching up into me and I positioned myself to let him in. Once he was fully seated inside me, I let out a breath and laid my forehead on his chest.
“God, you feel so good,” I murmured.
Large hands came up to brush my hair behind my ears. I tilted my head to look up at him and smile before I began moving. He threw his head back and moaned, pushing his thick shaft up into me as I came down onto him.
My own cock stood stiffly off my body, throbbing with want and need for Derek’s touch. He must have read my mind because his eyes took on a smug glint and his hand wrapped around it.
“Fucking finally,” I grumbled under my breath. His eyebrows shot up and his mouth turned up in a devious grin. Oh shit.
Before I knew it, I was flipped over onto my front and fucked to within an inch of my life. My body was half numb with pleasure, and my breathing was in serious danger of shorting out. The noises coming out of my mouth were nonsense carried on a bit of drool. I wanted to cry from the sheer overload of emotions I felt when Derek owned me like that.
His mouth came down by my ear and a husky growl caused my balls to tighten even further.
“Love holding you down and taking you like this. Hearing those sexy-as-hell noises that come out of you. You are mine, Jude Marian. And don’t you ever forget it.”
I wanted to cry with relief. I wanted to scream that I couldn’t possibly forget it. Not only was I his, but I wanted to be only his for the rest of my life.
Derek’s arms wrapped around me and pulled me upright onto my knees in front of him. His body pressed against my back and one hand wrapped around my throat, the other around my rib cage. Hot words continued to blow into my ear, and I felt my eyes prickle as my hands grabbed a hold of his and held on for dear life.
When it was over, I swiveled around and launched myself onto his front in a tight hug. My face was turned into his neck, and I felt his arms tighten around me as much as mine did around him.
We knelt there holding each other as tightly as we could for a few minutes. Both of us knew that when we got dressed it would almost be time for him to leave.
The only consolation was knowing that pretty soon, his leaving wouldn’t take him so far away from me.
35
Derek
During my two days away from Jude, I spent plenty of time at the gym and caught up with my family on the phone. My dad and brothers lost their collective shit when I told them about Jude’s offer to bring them to the Super Bowl with us.
“Holy cow, Derek! Is he for real? Is this a joke?” Kyle asked.
“Not a joke. The guy has seven brothers but only one of them is interested in coming. That leaves more than enough room in the box for you guys,” I told him with a smile.
“Shit, man. It’s no wonder they don’t give a crap about football. Half his brothers are fags. They’re probably more interested in going to a beauty pageant than a sporting event.”
My breath caught in my throat as the slur hit me out of the blue.
“What the hell, Kyle?” I snapped. “You’re seriously going to insult the guy who’s giving you a gift worth thousands of dollars?”
“I didn’t say he was a fag. I was talking about his brothers.”
“You’re a fucking idiot. Let me talk to dad again before I change my mind about letting you come to the game,” I said.
“Jesus, sorry, Derek. What’s got you so sensitive today? Spending all that time with the Marians over Christmas made you all emotional?”
I hung up on him. There was no point in staying on the phone with any of them when I was this pissed off. The conversation with Kyle reminded me of why I was in the closet, and the reminder was like a bucket of ice water to the groin.
After lacing up my running shoes, I drove to a storage place to buy some boxes to begin packing. I had been on a month-to-month lease for the last six months in my apartment, so I didn’t have to wait to move out. I’d texted Ollie to ask why she was moving, and she told me her grandmother couldn’t live alone anymore since her hip replacement hadn’t been a complete success. Instead of her grandmother having to sell her home, Ollie elected to move in with her to help her ou
t.
I asked if she was sure about the move, and she assured me she was. Finally I had to leave the subject alone after reminding her more than once that if she ever changed her mind, all she had to do was let me know.
While I was out running errands, I got a coffee and stopped at the bookstore to pick up a couple of books to read during the Maui trip. I loved flying. It was one of the times in public when I didn’t have to be on the lookout for Jude’s safety and could just sit next to him and relax. I chose an interesting memoir and a new spy thriller along with a couple of newsmagazines.
While I was standing in a long line to check out, my phone buzzed with a text from Jude.
Jude: I made a salad for lunch and spiralized every single vegetable except the lettuce. Jealous?
Derek: You read my mind. I was just sitting here eating a Snickers bar wishing it was a spiral of zucchini.
Jude: Don’t worry. I’ll make you one when you come home.
My chest tightened at his use of the word “home,” and I thought of how much I wanted to share a home with Jude.
Derek: Oh goodie. Speaking of home, I picked up some boxes to start packing. Wishing I had time to make the move before we go to Hawaii.
Jude: Maybe if we do it together. I’ll come over and help.
Derek: No thanks. I’m afraid you’d be more of a distraction than help.
Jude: What if I put my hair in a man bun and wore flannel? Then you wouldn’t be tempted.
Derek: Believe it or not, I’d still be tempted, Bluebell. I don’t have that much stuff to pack actually. I’m going to get rid of some of my things and buy a bigger bed and new couch.
Jude: You had me at bed.
Derek: Thought so. It’ll be kind of fun to invite you to my place from time to time.
Jude: I’ve been to your place before. Remember when I made fun of your old tube tv and we had sex on the kitchen table?
Derek: Yes. I remember that every time I eat breakfast and get a boner. I’m getting rid of the tv too. Going to go full He-Man and get a big flat screen.
Jude: I’m on board with that. I might have to get you the kind of coffee maker I like though.
Derek: I already bought the same one before we went to Napa for Christmas. Didn’t want to tell you for fear your beautiful head would get too big.
Jude: Aww, someone gave up his instant coffee and joined the new millennium. Good for you, babe.
Derek: Jackass. I’m headed to the mall to get a bathing suit for Hawaii. You need anything while I’m there?
Jude: I’m sorry, what? I was busy imagining you in a speedo.
Derek: Funny. I’ll take that as a no. And get your hand out of your pants.
Jude: My hand isn’t in my pants, smart ass. … I’m naked.
Derek: Jesus, you’re cruel.
Jude: Text me pics from the dressing room, Wolfe. Promise me.
Derek: No way. You’ll sell them to the highest bidder. I know deep down you’re a money-grubbing whore.
Jude: Ah, he finally learns the real source of my wealth. Hot spank bank pics. Lucrative business. Yours would go for a pretty penny, especially if I added in the naked ones I take of you at night while you sleep.
Derek: Nice try. You sleep nestled so tightly against me that I notice every time you get up. Btw, you haven’t been sleepwalking since we’ve been together. Actually, I take that back. You did once, but it was quick.
Jude: What? When?
Derek: That night at my place. I thought you were getting up to pee but you went to the kitchen and came back with a measuring cup. Got right back into bed and held the measuring cup against your chest until I took it away from you.
Jude: You’re a terrible liar, but I love you anyway.
Derek: You only wish I was lying. Deep down you know it’s true because I saw you notice the measuring cup on the nightstand.
Jude: I thought you were into some kind of measuring kink. Didn’t want to ask you about it for fear you’d tell me.
Derek: I love you too, Bluebell. Call me tonight.
I went by the mall and found some swim trunks that didn’t look as ratty as my old ones. After stashing my clothing purchases in the car, I returned inside to shop at one of the furniture stores, selecting a nice leather couch and two overstuffed chairs to go with it. I could picture Jude curled up in one of the chairs and realized I’d rather wait on the purchases until I got his opinion.
Finally I made my way home and began to pack. It wasn’t until almost midnight that I got the call from Mike telling me that someone was at Jude’s gate.
36
Jude
I was sitting at the kitchen table working on some song lyrics I was toying with for Blue’s wedding surprise when the driveway gate buzzed. The sound startled me, coming as it did in the silence of the late night.
Mike had gone to bed in the guest room about an hour beforehand. I hated to bother him, but I knew better than to deal with a visitor on my own, especially at midnight.
As I rounded the corner to his room, I saw the door open and Mike step out. I forgot his phone would have sounded an alert.
I could tell he’d been sleeping, but he had pulled on some clothes and shoes before following me back to the kitchen to answer the intercom.
“May I help you?” he asked.
“I’m here to see Jude. Tell him it’s his biggest fan,” the slurring voice responded through the speaker.
“Name please?” Mike asked.
“He’ll know. We met after the Hollywood Bowl concert.”
My stomach dropped and I felt my heart speed up. Mike immediately pulled out his phone without even looking at me.
“Derek, it’s Mike. I think that guy from the LA hotel room is here at the gate.” He listened for a moment before agreeing to whatever Derek said and hanging up.
“What did he say?” I asked.
“He said to stall until he gets here. Is that okay with you? If not, I’m happy to deal with him myself.”
“Uh…” I began.
“If it makes any difference to you, Jude, I’d like to wait,” he told me. “Derek has more experience in reading people’s body language, and he knows way more about this guy than I do. I only know that he’s some fan who showed up at the suite in LA. If we can stall, Derek can get some more information out of him since the LAPD wouldn’t give us anything.”
“Okay, yeah. Let’s wait,” I agreed.
Sour vapors steamed in my gut while we waited. After a couple of minutes the gate intercom buzzed again.
“Hello?” the guy said. “I’m still out here waiting.”
Mike tapped the button to respond. “Sorry, I’ve tried to get Jude, but he’s locked in his music studio. It’ll just be a couple of minutes longer.”
The drive from Derek’s apartment usually took twenty minutes, but with no traffic, he made it there in about fifteen.
The man had buzzed again in the meantime, and I came on to tell him to hold his horses. I realized I was in my pajamas, so I raced back to my room to change into jeans. Before I finished getting dressed, Derek walked into my room.
I looked up and met his eyes.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hey,” he said as he stepped forward to hug me. His hand came up to brush hair back from my face and plant a kiss on my forehead. “I missed you. You okay?”
I nodded before leaning in to kiss him, lips soft and sweet like he’d eaten pineapple for a midnight snack. God, I loved kissing Derek. His mouth was delicious and his responsiveness made me stupidly happy.
My hands came up to cup his rough cheeks as my mouth moved over the rest of his face.
“So glad you’re here,” I breathed against his ear.
Derek pulled back. “Mike’s out front with the guy. He refuses to talk to anyone but you. It’s definitely the guy from the hotel incident. We’re waiting for the cops.”
“Should I go out there and talk to him?” I asked.
“Hell no. That’s not a good idea. Plus,
he’s really drunk. I don’t want to leave Mike much longer, but I wanted to check on you.”
“I’m fine. Go ahead. I’ll just wait in the kitchen.”
A little while later Derek and Mike surprised me by telling me that we weren’t pressing charges. I could tell by the look on Derek’s face that I could ask questions later when we were in private but it would be best to keep them to myself around others. When everyone had finally left, including Mike, Derek turned to me and pulled an envelope out of his pocket.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Photos,” his eyebrows were furrowed with worry. “The man was threatening to give them to the media if you wouldn’t come out of the house. I convinced him to keep his mouth shut for a few days until I contacted him.” Derek handed me the envelope. “I didn’t look at them, Jude.”
I looked down at the small envelope in my hand like it was a grenade. I wracked my brain to try and remember any time I’d let anyone take any photos of me that would be inappropriate in the media.
I remembered the media drone in my yard as my vision blackened around the edges, and the highlight reel of every interaction I ever had with Derek spun through my mind. My adrenaline spiked, leaving me feeling faint and breathless.
After Derek walked over to the sofa at the end of the kitchen, I threw the envelope across the room with a strangled curse. Regardless of what was inside, I knew I wasn’t ready to look at it.
37
Derek
It was time to face the music. The envelope was on the floor where Jude had thrown it, but I wasn’t about to be the one to pick it up. I wouldn’t go near it until and unless he wanted me to. I had told the police that it was a misunderstanding and to let the man go. After what he’d said, I didn’t want to take the chance of him saying something revealing to the cops.
While Jude quietly freaked the fuck out, I sat calmly on the couch, pretending to check email on my phone as Jude paced around the envelope trying to ignore the damned thing. Finally, I lost my patience. Our reputations were in that envelope.
“Want me to flush it down the toilet?” I asked calmly.
