by Lori Lapekes
He studied me for a long moment before he spoke. “I can see that... I know what you do makes a huge difference in people’s lives. How do you stay sane?”
My eyes swept up to meet his and I grinned. "After parties."
He gave a sudden bark of laughter. “Sophie has a sense of humor after all. Seriously, how do you do it?”
“I try not to get personally involved.” But not getting involved hadn't been an option with Emily. Before I knew it, Emily had weaved a spell and I had fallen under it. She was the kind of person I wanted to be. She gave me no other choice than to get personally involved and no amount of pity for her situation could erase the fact that I loved her, too. Everyone loved her, except the one who had mattered the most. “It’s always sad to see a patient go, whether you’re involved or not. I try to remember I have a job to do and that’s to make a dying patient’s last days as comfortable and as happy as possible. But occasionally you do get invested in their story.” I snuck a glance at him. “When that happens, I try to take the good in their life and hold on to it. And learn from the bad. When both of those fail, I have a great therapist on speed dial.”
We smiled at each other. The eye contact held an intense heat as we measured each other up before I looked down and smoothed my shirt. He stepped closer to me, his warmth almost a physical caress, and the wind wrapped a nice scent of soap and pine around me.
“It’s refreshing to have a conversation with a woman who’s not thinking about the best way to get me in bed.”
I shifted and looked out at the lights again with a deep sigh. Oh, if he only knew. Maybe I didn’t do casual, but that didn’t keep me from thinking naked thoughts about him. I turned my gaze back to his and my lips quirked.
He caught the look on my face and laughed.
Shock splintered through me when his hands framed my face and forced me to look at him. The laughter slid away, as did his smile, and made room for a smoldering fierceness as he licked his lips and eyed mine. I wanted nothing more than to see what it felt like to kiss those full lips. Even though Emily didn’t tell me why she sent me, I couldn’t let him think I was that kind of girl. There was need in his eyes that I could see clearly, although I wasn’t sure it was directed at me or what he thought I might represent. He studied my mouth and with a sigh, released me and took a step back, leaving me thankful for his self-control because I was no longer so certain of mine.
“What do you think about when you’re up here?” I asked him again.
“Nothing that wouldn’t take me a year to explain.”
“I’ve got time.” What was I doing? Did I want to know his answer?
Slowly, Nicholas sat down again and patted the cement next to him. I joined him and waited for him to go on.
The weather was starting to turn cold, Emily’s favorite time of year. Fall leaves were at their peak here in the south, and Thanksgiving was just around the corner. A sudden chill had me wrapping myself a little deeper in my sweater, but it was pathetically light for what must have been forty-degree weather. Nicholas noticed my shiver and without a word pulled me into his arms.
He gave the impression in his public life of having been around the block many times. Yet just now, his touch wasn’t even suggestive. Curiosity and need danced in his roaming fingertips on my palm, but otherwise, he was a perfect gentleman. When his arms came around me, his odd position seemed awkward and uncomfortable, so I scooted to place myself between his legs, my back resting against his chest. His hands moved up and down my arms, caressing me in a way that spoke of familiarity, despite our short acquaintance.
When he began to talk, he spoke quietly against my ear, his hand continuing the slow rhythmic strokes up and down my arms, as though keeping time to one of his songs. I listened with closed eyes, feeling every ounce of what he said.
“Have you ever loved someone so much it hurts, and you didn’t know how to tell them?”
I nodded and swallowed, not believing that he was actually going to tell me—a virtual stranger—about something so personal.
“She came into my life like a tornado. By the time I realized I couldn’t let her go, she was already gone. I’ve never felt that helpless, Sophie. Never. I watched the only person I’ve ever really loved waste away with cancer. But what hurts even more, if that’s possible, was how her spirit was never extinguished. You wouldn’t believe the amount of spunk.”
But I could.
“Up until the very end, she was still the same beautiful person I met and fell in love with,” he added with a whisper. "Knowing she can't share that with the world anymore leaves a gaping hole in my heart.”
Silent tears streamed down my face. Nicholas’s voice was choked, his breathing ragged. He was crying, too. He sniffed and exhaled against my hair. “Sorry,” he apologized. “I’m a wreck tonight. Today is her birthday. She couldn’t wait for her birthday. She said it made her wiser.” His grin echoed in his voice.
“What was her name?” I asked even though I knew the answer.
“Emily,” he whispered.
Somehow, hearing him say her name succeeded in opening my heart to an idea I didn’t want to have of him. For so long, I had painted a cold picture of him - one where he didn’t care or want to be around during hard times. Now, seeing him this way told me I had it all wrong. Maybe I even chose to see him wrong because it made things easier to accept. But it made the reality so real, so special to see him torn up over her short life. Emily hadn’t suffered without him, but I couldn’t say that to him right now. She loved him just as much as he seemed to love her. Their relationship had left Emily with a heart full of hope, love, and respect.
His hand rested on his knee now but I slid my palm against it and curled my fingers around him and squeezed, hoping to convey some sort of strength. There was only one thing I could do to make him forget the pain in that moment.
Turning around to face him, I gathered my courage and brushed my fingertips against his brow. He looked at me with those expectant, breathtaking eyes and I was lost. Even though this might not be why Emily wanted me here, it felt right.
Gently, I wiped away his tears and smoothed his hair as a mother might. His hand reached up and touched my cheek sweetly.
“Who are you?” he whispered, his voice full of awe. “I’ve never been able to talk to someone this way.”
“It’s amazing the things people tell me,” I teased and offered a small grin. He returned it, but quickly sobered, studying my face again. We both seemed to be waiting for something. For the right moment? For the right words? I licked my lips, knowing that kissing him was going to be an amazing journey. One I wasn’t sure I was ready for after such a short acquaintance.
“Thank you for sharing Emily with me,” I whispered, the double meaning of my words lost on him. And then, with a reverent look on his face, his lips touched mine.
It was the second time in my life I knew I would never be the same.
Table of Contents
The Gingerbread Boy
PART ONE
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
PART TWO
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
> Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Epilogue
Author’s Note
Sneak Preview:
About the Author
Also From Astraea Press:
Table of Contents
The Gingerbread Boy
PART ONE
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
PART TWO
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Epilogue
Author’s Note
Sneak Preview:
About the Author
Also From Astraea Press:
