by Allie Able
“I love you too, Katie, so damn much.”
I put my hands on the back of her thighs and lift. With her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist, I carry her to her bedroom. I gently lay her down on the bed and kiss down her throat. The little sleep shirt she’s wearing doesn’t cover much and I suck her nipples through the fabric. She moans and her hands find their way into my hair, holding me against her.
“I want you, Katie.”
“Yes,” she breaths in response.
I lean over her, so I can look down into her eyes.
“How do you want this to go?”
“What?” she blinks a few times.
“How do you want this to go? Do you want me to make love to you and stay the night or do you want me to leave afterwards?”
She shakes her head still confused. Maybe we should have had this conversation before I got her under me and sucked on her nipples.
“Katie, do you want Abbi to see me here in the morning?”
“Oh,” she mumbles. I watch as she chews her bottom lip and looks off towards the door for a second. She turns back to me and I see my answer in her eyes before she even opens her mouth.
“Nick, do you want to help me make my daughter breakfast in the morning?” she asks, a soft smile playing on her lips.
My smile is immediate and wide. “Yes, thank you. Now, can I make love to you?”
“Yes.” She pulls my face down to her and kisses me.
I know I’m not the first person to kiss down her body. I can only retrace lines that have already been drawn, but, as my lips touch every part of her, I hope she feels the difference in my touch. I hope she can feel how much I love her. No, I won’t delude myself by thinking that I’m her first, but my God, I hope I can be her last.
Chapter Seventeen
Katie
I CAN HEAR MY CELLPHONE ringing, as I make my way towards my office. I usually keep it in my pocket, in case there is an emergency at Abbi’s school, but I must have forgotten to put it in my lab coat this morning. I shuffle through the papers on my desk, making a mental note to ask Haden if she minds filing them for me, and I finally find my phone. One missed call from Nick. I put it to my ear and call him back.
“Hey,” his deep voice comes through the line.
“Hey, yourself,” I respond with a smile.
I just saw him this morning, when he helped me make breakfast, but I already miss him. It’s going to be so hard when he leaves on Friday.
“So, I was thinking, since its warm out side today, what do you think about going to the beach for awhile this afternoon? I still want to go seashell hunting with Abbi.”
My smile widens. “I think that sounds perfect. I get off at 5:00 pm, so me and Abbi should be home by 5:20 pm.”
“That was the other thing I wanted to ask you about. Do you mind if I pick Abbi up from school? I’m going to the store to get stuff for the beach, I thought maybe she would enjoy picking some things out,” he says, hesitantly.
This is a big deal for me. It’s one thing for him to pick her up here, but for him to pick her up from school is different, at least to me. It comes down to me trusting him. Do I trust him to take care of my daughter?
“Okay, I’ll call the school and put you on the pickup list. Can you swing by here and get the car rider number out of my car?”
“Yeah, I’ll bring you some lunch. Is a sandwich from the deli okay with you?”
“That’s perfect. I’ll see you in a little bit.”
“Okay, and Katie?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you,” he says quietly.
He hangs up before I can respond. I stare down at my phone for a second, before I lift it back up and call Abbi’s school. She’s going to be so excited. She loves Nick and I know the feeling is mutual. I just hope and pray he never gives her a reason to hate him. It’s too late for me and Nick to take a step back from our relationship. I have taken a chance on him and I hope it doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass, because when I decided to let him in our life, I also risked my daughters heart and she’s too young for that kind of heartbreak.
After I talk to her school and assure them that Nick will have the car rider number, I walk back to the front of the clinic and get ready for my next appointment. I’m not too proud to admit that I do it with a smile on my face and extra pep in my step. My life is pretty damn close to perfect. Too bad nothing ever stays the same.
* * *
“Okay, chicken salad sandwich for you and a Reuben for me,” Nick says, passing me my sandwich and some napkins.
Since there weren’t any appointments around lunch time today, I called Nick back earlier and told him to bring his lunch as well and we could eat together. I also asked Haden to organize my desk, so we would have a place to put our food. I may have bribed her with chocolate and wine, but that’s beside the point.
“What have you been doing today?”
He takes a bit of his food and I watch his throat work as he swallows. Huh, who knew I could get turned on by watching a man eat. He smirks at me, like he knows what I’m thinking and I just roll my eyes.
He chuckles, before answering my question. “I went to go look at houses actually.”
I raise my eyebrows in question.
“I’ve been thinking and when I come home in a few months, I don’t want to live at my condo. It’s way too small. I’ve looked at few houses and I think I finally found one I like.”
“Really? That’s awesome, Nick! When do I get to see it?”
“It’s going to need a lot of work.”
“Well, I still want to look at it.”
He nods his head, “I’ll drive you by there tomorrow. Are your parents still going to watch Abbi tomorrow night?”
Summer and Grant are throwing Nick a going away party, even though Nick has practically begged them not to, and he asked me to go with him a few days ago. I also have the job of taking him to the airport on Friday. The thought of him leaving makes my stomach clench, so I quickly push it aside.
“Yeah, they are going to stay at my house.”
“Okay.”
We eat in silence for a few minutes. He looks deep in thought, but I have no clue what he could possibly be thinking about. After we’re finished, I stand up to gather our empty wrappers and throw them in the trash, but Nick’s voice stops me.
“Katie,” he whispers.
I turn to look at him and he walks over to me wrapping me in a tight hug.
“Am I doing the right thing?”
“What? Buying a house?” I ask, confused.
He shakes his head and looks solemn. “No, starting a relationship with you, right before I leave. Am I doing the right thing?”
Nick has been the one so adamant about us and how we can make it work, so to see him questioning it throws me off.
“Well, I know I always missed you when you left, even when we were friends, and I know it’s going to be harder this time around, but people do it all of the time, Nick. Why? Are you re-thinking what we’re doing?”
“No,” he answers immediately, “It’s just that I have only ever left my family and thinking about leaving you is scaring the shit out of me.”
“Let’s think about that on Friday. Okay?” I respond, because honestly, it’s scaring me too, and I can’t cry at work.
He nods his head, but his forehead is still crinkled in worry. I reach up and cup his cheek, pulling his face down to mine. “Just kiss me,” I whisper.
“That I can do,” he smiles, before taking my mouth in a deep kiss that makes us both forget about all the ways this could go wrong.
* * *
“That’s a good one,” Nicks says, as he digs through the sand with my daughter. We have been out here for a little over an hour.
I helped them at first, collecting all of the shells I could find, but I eventually came and sat down on the blanket so I could watch them together.
Since the weather is unusually warm for January, I’ve taken off my sweat
er, so I can feel the warm sun on my back and arms. Nick is wearing swimming trunks and a t-shirt, but it’s still too cold to get in the water. I look around the blanket and can’t help but laugh to myself. Nick and Abbi must have bought half of the damn store. When I asked Nick why in the world they bought so much stuff, he told me that you couldn’t come to the beach without building the ultimate sand castle. I’m thinking my daughter may have persuaded him.
He sets the bowl that they are using to put the seashells in down on the ground beside Abbi and says something to her, before turning and walking towards me.
He smiles as he approaches and I feel my heart skip a few beats. It’s so cliché, I know, but this man does that to me. I love the way his eyes always twinkle with a little mischief, like he knows a secret, but isn’t going to tell anyone.
He sits down behind me and pulls me between his open legs, laying a kiss on the back of my neck.
“What did you tell Abbi?” I ask, watching my daughter run up and down the beach, every once in awhile stopping to pick up another shell.
“I told her that her Mom looked lonely and I was going to go keep her company for a minute.”
“I wasn’t lonely, I was enjoying watching you two together,” I chuckle.
“I know. It was an excuse just to come hold you for second,” he says, squeezing me around my waist.
I lay my head back against his shoulder and together we watch my daughter run and play on the beach. After a few minuets of silence, he dips his head. I can feel his lips move as we whispers in my ear.
“Ever since we met, I’ve known that we’re special. The way we talk and laugh around each other was, and still is, different to everybody else. I will never meet anyone I can trust as much as I trust you. I think most people search their whole lives to find what we’ve already found, Katie.”
Tears cloud my vision and I have no idea how to respo, because I think he’s right. Maybe all of the heartache and suffering I’ve endured in my life lead me to him. When I first met Nick, I didn’t want to get involved with anyone. I didn’t have the time or energy and I didn’t think I was ready for it, but somewhere along the way, I let myself fall hard for this man. I’m pretty sure I fell in love with him long before we officially started dating. It’s like my soul recognizes his.
“I love you, Nick,” I whisper, holding his arms tightly around me.
“I love you too, kitten.” He kisses my check and turns to look back at Abbi.
“She loves you too, you know.”
I watch him smile tenderly as he looks at my daughter.
“The feeling is mutual.”
Abbi comes running towards us, carrying the bowl of seashells. “Look, Mom! We found so many!” She squeals in excitement.
I sit up and take the bowl from her outstretched hands and smile.
“Wow! Where are we going to put them all?”
“Nick bought a big glass bowl. He said we can put it at the house and every time we come to the beach we can add more to it. Isn’t that cool?”
I look over at Nick and smile. “That is cool.”
Nick winks and jumps to his feet. “Who’s ready to build a sandcastle?”
“Me!” Abbi says, jumping up and down.
Nick picks up the shovel and takes her hand, leading her down to the sand that is still a little wet from when the tide was high.
I spend the next hour, watching the man I love and my daughter build the largest sand castle I have ever seen. My heart feels so full and I’m so happy. I close my eyes and try to memorize everything about this afternoon. I never want to forget the moment that I completely handed over my heart to another person.
Chapter Eighteen
Nick
I KNOCK ON THE DOOR and wait. Tonight is my going away party and I should be excited to see all of my friends and family, but I’m not. I would rather be spending my last night at home with Katie and Abbi. I promised Summer she could throw a party a few weeks ago and it’s too late to back out now. I will mingle and talk to everyone for a few hours, but I’ve already warned Grant that me and Katie are going to slip out early. He just chuckled and shook his head.
Katie’s mom, Rita, answers the door with a huge smile. “Hello, handsome,” she says, pulling me in for a hug. Katie gets her size from her mom. They are both tiny, barely coming up to my chin, but Rita hugs with her whole body and there is no way you could get out of it, even if you wanted to. I pat her back and smile down at her when she pulls back.
“Lord have mercy, with that smile of yours it’s no wonder my daughter is so smitten with you.”
“Rita, leave the boy alone,” Katie’s dad, Allan, grumbles from the living room.
I laugh and follow Rita as she leads us into the house. I walk over to where Allan is standing and shake his hand.
“How are you doing, Sir?”
He shakes his head with a smile. “Just Allan, remember? And I’m doing good, Son. Are you ready for your last tour?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I respond.
He pats my shoulder a few times and nods his head.
“Nick!” I hear Abbi squeal.
I turn just in time to catch her, as she throws herself into my arms. I hug her to me and all of a sudden I have tears in my eyes. Shit. This has never happened before. I have been gone more times than not the past ten years and not once have I gotten emotional about leaving my family. Sure, it sucked to leave, but it was never this gut clenching feeling. All it took was a ten-year-old little girl and her beautiful mom, to bring me to my knees.
I clear my throat and look down at Abbi. “Hey, sweetie. Are you excited about your Grandma and Grandpa staying with you tonight?”
She nods her head, but looks sad. “What’s wrong?” I ask.
“You’re leaving in the morning,” she whispers in a small voice.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I clutch her tightly against me and try to get control of my emotions. “Only for a little while. We can write each other letters and I’ll be back before you know it.” I try to squeeze as much happiness into my voice as I possibly can, but I know I’m failing miserably, when I look over Abbi’s shoulder and see Rita’s stricken expression. I close my eyes and hug Abbi tight. “I promise I’ll be back,” I whisper.
She nods her head and sniffles a couple of times, before wiggling to get down. I set her on her feet and she grabs my hand, pulling me into the kitchen. She picks up a seashell from the counter, and hands it to me.
“Will you take this one with you, so you wont forget about me?”
I take the shell and bend down until I’m eye level with her. “Abbi, there is no way I could ever forget about you. I will call you and your mom as much as I can and I will be back in a couple of months. You promised me lots of dinner dates, remember? I’m not going to miss those,” I reassure her. This is absolutely killing me. I knew it would be hard to say bye this time, I just didn’t realize how hard it would actually be.
I hear heels clicking against the hard wood floors and I turn to look up. Katie walks into the kitchen looking fucking gorgeous. If I wasn’t sitting here holding her daughter and trying not to cry my fucking eyes out, I would probably be half hard just looking at her. Her heels are black and tall and the strap is wrapped around her slender ankles. Her dress is red and comes to about mid thigh. It is molded to all of her delicious curves, but the neckline comes up high, making the dress look elegant and tasteful. Her makeup is done slightly heavier than normal, but I can still see those cute freckles that I love to kiss so much, peeking out. Her hair is up in a loose bun, probably held together by a thousand pins, that I’m going to enjoy removing later tonight. She gives me a small smile, before looking back at her daughters face.
“Did you give Nick his seashell, sweetheart?” she asks gently and it makes me wonder how hard this is going to be on both of them. Maybe I shouldn’t have started something with Katie, until I got back for good, but I can’t regret the past few weeks and without Katie, I may have never decided to
come home for good.
I turn to look back at Abbi as she nods her head. “Yes, ma’am.”
I pull her into another hug, wishing I could just stay. “I’ll be back soon, I promise,” I whisper one last time, before reluctantly letting her go and standing up.
She gives me a smile and nods her head. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Be good for Grandma and Grandpa, okay?” Katie says, as she hugs Abbi.
“Okay,” Abbi responds, before walking to her room.
I look helplessly at Rita and Allan, who have been silently watching the exchange.
“She’ll be fine,” Rita says in a comforting voice and Allan nods in agreement. This doesn’t feel fine; this feels fucking awful.
I don’t say that, though, I just nod my head. We say our goodbyes and I usher Katie to the car.
We are both quiet, while we make the short drive to Summer and Grant’s house. When we pull down their street, I absently note that there are cars already crowding the driveway and spilling out onto the road. I turn my truck off and look at Katie.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper.
She looks shocked and confused at my words. “Why are you sorry, Nick?”
“For getting involved with you and then leaving. I didn’t know, Katie.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t understand.”
“I didn’t know it would be this fucking hard. I’ve never done this before and I don’t like it.” I rub my chest, trying to see if I can rub away the ache. “My heart is literally fucking hurting. I’m so sorry.”
She doesn’t even hesitate, before she unbuckles her seat belt and climbs into my lap. She cups my cheeks in both of her hands and raises my face to meet hers.
“Nick, I knew this was going to be hard, but it’s going to be okay. I just need you to come back to us.”
I nod my head. “Okay.”
She bends her head and her lips softly touch mine. “Please come back to us.”
“I promise, baby. I’ll come back,” I whisper. I grip onto the back of her neck and I take her mouth in a promising kiss.
At the time I made that promise, I intended on keeping it, but I had no clue how much my life would change.
