by Allie Able
She clears her throat and sits up in the booth. “It’s just that I’ve been wanting to say this for awhile,” she takes a deep breath, “One day you’re going to see her holding hands with someone who took your chance. She’s not even going to notice you because she’s going to be too busy laughing at his jokes. It’s going to hurt your heart seeing that smile on her face and realizing that you’re not the reason for it anymore.”
I look over at Katie and I can literally feel my heart breaking knowing that I won’t have her in my life anymore. I don’t even have the right to go over there and simply speak to her.
“It looks like that has already happened, though,” I hear Summer whisper.
I pick up my beer and take another gulp, as I look over at Summer.
“Yeah,” I say quietly.
The waitress comes to the table and delivers our food, but I’ve lost my appetite. I order another drink instead and push my plate to the side. Summer and Grant eat in silence and I hate that I’ve made this awkward for them. I look back over at Katie and I see she is listening intently to whatever dickhead Zack is saying. He’s probably not even a bad guy. He actually works for Grant and I think him and Grant have become friends, but he’s with my girl. He could be the fucking Pope and I would hate him right now. I sit back in my booth and sigh. I rub the spot where my leg meets my prosthetic.
“I think I fucked-up,” I whisper, looking back at Summer and Grant. If I wasn’t so damn devastated right know, I would laugh as they both nod their heads in sync, as they chew their food.
Grant wipes his hands on his napkin and takes a drink of his beer, before answering me. “I’m glad you finally realized that. So, now what are you going to do?”
“I have no damn clue.”
I see movement out of the corner of my eye and I look over, again. Katie is standing up from the booth. She looks so beautiful. Her hair is down in messy waves and she’s wearing a flowing white dress.
Zack’s hand lands on her lower back, as he leads her through the packed room. They are going to have to walk right by our table, but to my surprise they both take a seat at the bar.
“You better figure it out,” Grant says, looking pointedly at Zack’s hand that is still resting on her lower back.
“Fuck this guy! Can I fire him?” I ask.
Grant laughs and shakes his head. “For what? Asking out an available woman?”
“So, can I say one more thing?” Summer asks.
“Please help me, Summer,” I practically beg.
She gives me a sad smile and shakes her head. “I wish I could, Nick, but this is something you will have to fix yourself. I will say this, I know for a fact that she still loves you deeply, but you hurt her. You are going to have to show her how sorry you are, but before you do that, you need to think long and hard. You have to decide that you are in this for the long haul this time. I know you were badly injured and I know what you were probably thinking too, I had some of those same thoughts when me and Grant were first starting out. I just don’t want to see her so broken ever again.”
Grant wraps his arm around his fiancee and kisses her forehead, whispering something in her ear, while I sit there feeling like I just swallowed nails.
I clear my throat and look back at Katie. “I love her.”
“No one ever said you didn’t,” Summer says, quietly.
I take another drink of my beer, finishing it off. “I’m going to go get another drink. You need anything?” I ask, as I slide out of the both.
“Nick, do you think that’s a good idea right now?” Grant says, inclining his head towards where Katie and Zack are sitting.
“What choice do I have,” I mumble, before making my way to the far end of the bar.
They don’t notice me at first. I’m only standing a few chairs from them, but I still can’t hear their conversation. The bartender comes over to ask me what I’m drinking and I reluctantly take my eyes off of Katie to order. When I look back, I see that she finally noticed me standing here. She stares at me over Zack’s shoulder and her expression is a mix between shock and hurt. The bartender brings back my drink and I pick it up to walk over to where they are sitting. Katie shakes her head and looks back at Zack, but I ignore her.
There is an empty stool on the other side of her and I slide onto it. “Hey, Katie,” I say quietly.
She shifts uncomfortably on her stool and clears her throat. “Nick,” she says with a short nod.
Zack looks at me curiously. “Hey man, I’m Zack,” he sticks his hand out for me to shake, “Where do I know you from?”
I take my eyes off of Katie and look at his outstretched hand. I grab it in mine and make sure to give it an extra hard squeeze.
“I think you work for me.”
“Oh, yeah. That’s it. I knew you looked familiar,” he says with an easy smile. Obviously he isn’t picking up on the tension between me and Katie.
I nod my head and pick up my beer.
“Is Grant here?” he asks.
“Yeah, I was having dinner with him and Summer.” I incline my head to where they are sitting and Zack looks in their direction. My eyes go back to Katie. She’s turned her body towards Zack and I have to fight the urge to pull her closer to me. That’s not my right anymore.
“I’m going to say ‘hey’. Will you be okay for a second?” Zack asks Katie.
She gives him a forced smile and nods her head. “Of course.”
We watch him walk away and when he is out of ear shot I turn back to Katie. “What a dick,” I mumble.
She turns towards me and narrows her eyes. “You don’t even know him.”
“I don’t have to know him to know that he’s a dick. I would have never left you at the bar with another man.”
“No, Nick, what you did was much worse. You forced me to leave without an explanation,” she says, staring straight into my eyes.
I move closer to her and drop my voice to a whisper. “Just because I let you go, doesn’t mean I wanted to, kitten.”
“Don’t you dare call me that,” she says through clenched teeth.
“Katie—”
“I hope one day you realize that you should have tried. I was worth the fight!”
She leans back and moves to get off of the stool. My hand comes out and gently grabs her arm, holding her still. “I know that. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I made a mistake and I’m so sorry.” With her this close, I can smell her and it’s driving me insane. I want to bury my face in her hair and tell her how much I miss her, but I know I can’t do that.
She stares at me in silence for a moment, before pulling her arm out of my grasp. “It’s not your fault, Nick. It was mine, for believing every word you said.”
She slides off of her stool and grabs her drink. She’s about to walk away and I can’t let that happen. I need to see those beautiful eyes at least one more time.
“Katie, you know I meant every word of what I said. You know how much I loved you,” I say, leaning in close to her again.
She turns her head my way and I notice her eyes look glassy, with unshed tears. “Did you, Nick? Because to me, actions speak louder than words and your actions tell me that you didn’t give a fuck about us. Please just leave me alone.”
Her hand comes up to wipe at her cheek, as she turns around and walks away.
I stay seated and watch her go, knowing that there is nothing I can say to that. I need to figure out a plan. I need to prove to her that I made a horrible mistake and that I was just trying to protect her.
She walks over to where Zack is standing talking to Grant and Summer. She gives them a wave before saying something to Zack. He nods his head and together they walk out of the bar. Fuck! It wasn’t supposed to be like this. She’s mine and I’m hers. I just have to remind her of that. I just hope I haven’t waited too long.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Katie
WHO IN THE FUCK DOES he think he is? I’m so angry that I don’t even realize I haven’t said a word th
e entire drive back to my house, until we pull into my driveway and Zack turns to look at me.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“I’m sorry. Yeah, I’m fine,” I say with a sigh.
He chuckles and shakes his head. “You don’t look fine. Was it something that guy Nick said?”
What do I say, that Nick broke my heart? That he ruined me for all other men? No, I don’t think admitting that to Zack would be a good idea. I just shake my head. “Nick and I use to know each other.”
“Oh, which is code for Nick and I use to date?”
The word dating doesn’t feel like it would properly describe what Nick and I had, but I nod my head anyway. “Yeah, something like that.”
Zack seems to get that I don’t want to talk about it anymore and he nods his head. “Gotcha. Hang tight, I’ll come open your door.”
I force a smile and watch as he makes his way over to my side of the truck. Zack is a really attractive guy and I like him, but down deep I know this will never go anywhere. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to at least try.
He opens my door and helps me down. With his hand on my lower back, he guides me towards the front door. Once we are on my porch, I turn to look up at him.
“I had a great time, Zack. Thank you,” I say with a smile.
“Me too. Grant and Summer’s wedding is next weekend. Would you like to be my date?” he asks, hopefully.
I think about it for a second before I nod my head. “That would be nice,” I say softly.
He smiles and cups my cheek in his hand. I know he’s about to kiss me, but I don’t pull away. I watch as he bends his head and his mouth slowly descends on mine. His lips are soft and his kiss is gentle, but I don’t feel a spark. I know I should pull away and stop leading him on, but that’s not what I do. I’m so desperate to feel something for someone else, I find myself tilting my head and allowing him to take the kiss deeper. He parts my lips with his and slides his tongue against mine. He tastes like beer and mints and the kiss is nice, but I still don’t feel anything. Damn it! After a few more seconds, he pulls back and his eyes flutter open. He smiles and leans down to kiss my cheek. “Thank you,” he murmurs.
I smile back at him, but I know it looks forced. He lays his lips against mine, giving me one more soft kiss before stepping back.
“I’ll call you this week.”
I smile and nod. “Sounds good.”
I watch him walk to his truck, before slipping my key into the door and walking inside.
My mom is laying on the couch watching TV and she turns to look at me. “Hey, sweetheart. Did you have fun?” she asks, while muting the TV.
I set my purse down by the door and walk into the living room. I sigh and sit down in the chair. “Where’s dad?” I ask.
“He went to bed right after Abbi did, but I couldn’t sleep. You didn’t answer my question.”
“I saw Nick.”
Her eyes get big and she leans forward. “You did? How is he?”
I shrug my shoulders. “He seemed fine. He approached me while Zack and I were at the bar. As a matter of fact, Zack actually works for him.”
“What all did he say?” she asks.
“That he was sorry. Can you believe that? He actually wanted to apologize! He also said that he made a mistake,” I say, rolling my eyes.
Mom doesn’t say anything, as she sits back on the couch and studies me.
“What is that look?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “I just hate to see you hurting. What did you say to him?”
“I’m not hurting, Mom, I’m angry. I told him that his actions spoke louder than his words.”
“That’s true, but, Katie, I know you’re still hurting,” she whispers.
“I’m not,” I scoff.
She gives a look that says she doesn’t believe me, but doesn’t say anything.
“I’m going to Summer and Grant’s wedding with Zack next weekend,” I confide.
“Really? So you like him then?”
“He’s really nice,” I mumble.
She lets out a little chuckle. “That’s not what I asked.”
“I’m trying, Mom.”
She leans over at pats my hand. “I know, sweetie. I just want you to be happy.”
We are both quiet for a minute. Eventually my mom stands up and tells me she’s going to bed. I kiss her cheek and tell her goodnight. I stay sitting in my dark living room for a long time after she’s left. I’m so angry at Nick, but I think I’m even more angry at myself for falling so hard so fast. Maybe that’s where we went wrong. Maybe I created my own heartbreak when I expected him to love me as much as I loved him. Obviously happy-ever-after doesn’t exist for everyone.
* * *
The following Friday, I pick Abbi up from school and we make the drive to my parents’ house. Summer and Grant’s wedding is tomorrow, but I’m going to the rehearsal dinner with Zack tonight. Part of me is nervous about seeing Nick again, but I’ve prepared myself all week for this. This time it won’t be a surprise, when I see him, and I’ll make sure to have my guard up.
After I’ve dropped Abbi off, I make the drive back to my house and quickly get dressed. I only have thirty minutes before Zack get’s here and if I’m going to see Nick again, I want to look my best. I know it’s wrong that I’m going with one man, but dressing for another. Part of me feels bad about that, but it doesn’t stop me from making sure my makeup and hair is perfect. It also doesn’t stop me from wearing the heels Nick use to love so much. I need to use every weapon in my arsenal if I’m going to have the upper hand. Something tells me I’m going to need it.
Right at 5:30 pm, my doorbell rings, I check my lipstick one last time and grab my purse, before opening the door.
I have to admit that Zack looks really nice. He’s wearing a black suit, but the top button of his shirt his undone and he opted not to wear the tie. He’s wearing the jacket and I know he has to be burning up in this heat.
“Hey,” I smile.
“Hey, Katie. You look beautiful,” he says leaning down to kiss my cheek.
“Thank you. I like the suit,” I say with a wink, as I step out onto the porch and lock my door behind us.
“It’s hot as hell,” he jokes.
“I bet.”
He holds the truck door open and helps me into his truck, before making his way over to the driver side.
“Have you ever been to the Italian restaurant that they are having the rehearsal dinner at?”
My mind is flooded with images of me and Nick on our first date. I look out the passenger side window and nod my head. “Only once.”
“Really? It’s one of my favorite places,” he says.
We make small talk for the rest of the short drive. When we pull into the parking lot, I notice that the restaurant is already packed. I wonder if they rented out the entire place? I’ve been such a shitty friend to Summer these past few months. I was hurting, but that that’s no excuse.
Zack helps me out of the truck again and I can’t help but notice how polite he is when he does it. Nick used to always let his hands linger a little longer or he would bend down to whisper dirty words in my ear. I mentally berate myself for comparing Zack and Nick. I’ve got to stop this!
I smile up at Zack, as he puts his hand on my lower back and guides us inside. I spot Summer and Grant immediately and make my way over to them. Summer looks beautiful in a white sundress and Grant is standing beside her in a suit. They are such a gorgeous couple and clearly madly in love. It kind of hurts to look at them.
I smile and hug both of them, while Zack shakes Grant’s hand and kisses Summer’s cheek. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” I ask.
Grant smiles and looks down at Summer. “I’m just ready for her to be my wife.”
“Yuck. These two are so disgustingly sweet,” Lexie says, as she approaches us.
We all laugh, as I hug her hello. “Don’t you look sexy,” she says to me, with a wink.
I feel myse
lf blush and I shake my head. “Thanks, Lexie,” I murmur.
“You need wine,” she says, before turning to Zack, “Zack go get this girl some wine.”
“Lexie!” I scold.
Zack laughs and looks down at me. “Red wine?”
‘You don’t have to do that,” I say to him, while giving Lexie a look.
“I don’t mind,” he says, as he bends his head and kisses my cheek.
“Thank you,” I respond, looking up at him.
“I’ll come with you. Summer needs a refill,” Grant says.
Lexie doesn’t even wait until they are out of earshot, before she turns to me. “Nick is going to loose his fucking mind.”
“Lexie! Jesus!”
“What? He is! You dressed like that and Zack being all touchy feely with you. He’s going to go nuclear,” she says.
“He has no reason to do that. He’s the one that ended us,” I whisper.
She mumbles something under her breath.
“What?” I ask.
“Nothing,” she says, with a wave of her hand.
“I agree with Katie. He has no right, but you should have seen him after you left the bar last weekend,” Summer says.
I turn to look at her. “What do you mean?”
She shakes her head and looks a little sad. “He was upset.”
“What did I miss?” Lexie asks.
Summer fills her in on last weekend, while I look around the room. Hoping to get some alcohol in me quickly. I’m starting to feel bad for how I treated Nick last time I saw him and that can’t happen. He threw me away like yesterday’s garbage and I can’t let myself forget that, no matter how bad he’s feeling right now.
As I’m looking around for Zack, my eyes collide with Nick’s. Lexie and Summer’s words fade into the background, as we stare at each other from across the room. His eyes slide down my body and I allow mine to do the same. He looks good in his suit, but he’s ditched the jacket and his shirt is rolled up to his elbows. I don’t know how it’s possible, but his chest looks wider than before and his upper body looks stronger. When my eyes meet his again, I see that he is staring at me with fire in his eyes. He takes a step in my direction, but stops when something behind me snags his attention. The fire in eyes dies and turns to hurt, when he glances back at me. I feel someone touch my back and I turn to see Zack holding out my glass of wine. I don’t look back at Nick, but I can feel his eyes on me.
