“I’m not.”
“I have not seen you any other way since I found out you were pregnant. I did not know if you had forgotten how to smile.”
She couldn’t tell if he was teasing or not. She sighed. “I know I’ve been a little crabby and difficult. I didn’t mean to be. It’s just…” She hesitated.
Was there any way to explain how her life had been taken away from her? As Sadik had been the one doing the taking, and as he had yet to show the tiniest bit of remorse, she didn’t think he would exactly jump to see her side of things.
“I know how to smile,” she said, trying for a light tone of voice. “Know any good knock-knock jokes?”
He put his arm around her, as he led her to the sofa. “Not really. Are you hungry? Maria said you had ordered dinner in tonight. Do you wish them to serve right away?”
“I can wait.”
She sat next to him, angled toward him. She couldn’t seem to reconcile the fact that they were really married. So this was their first postworkday husband-and-wife conversation. Should she offer to get his slippers?
“Did Marie simply inform you of my decision about dinner or did she make sure it was all right with you?” Cleo held up her hand. “I’m not trying to make trouble on our first night, I’m simply trying to figure out where things stand.”
“I had reason to speak with her about something else,” he said easily. “At that time I asked her if she’d spoken with you yet, and she informed me that she had.” His handsome face tightened slightly. “I have been most unfair to you, Cleo.”
She felt as if she could have been knocked over with, if not a feather, then at least a very light object. A thousand snippy responses came to mind, some of them even humorous. But as Sadik was actually admitting fault in something, she thought she should try to take the moral high ground.
“Ah, in what way?” she asked casually, pretending interest in a loose thread in her skirt hem.
“We did not discuss a honeymoon.”
She hadn’t had time to imagine what his response might be, but she doubted she would ever have come up with that.
“You’re right.” A honeymoon? Did she need the stress? Not that he hadn’t been sweet to think of it. “That’s okay. I’m pretty pregnant, and I don’t know what travel restrictions I would have.”
“That is all well, but I should have considered how things would appear.”
Her tiny bubble of happiness burst with an audible pop. “Great. So you don’t actually care about going away with me. You just don’t want the neighbors talking.”
“That is not what I said.”
“It’s exactly what you said, and I think it’s pretty ratty of you. This whole marriage was your idea, and if you’re unhappy now, you only have yourself to blame.”
He sighed the sigh of the long-suffering, then gathered her close. No matter how good it felt to be held in his arms, and how warm his body was next to hers, she refused to either relax or be impressed.
“All right,” he conceded. “I phrased my thoughts badly. I don’t want to start gossip that would ultimately hurt you. In addition I would enjoy going away with you. But your concern about the health of our son does you credit. Perhaps after he is born we will take a belated honeymoon.”
She made a noncommittal noise in the back of her throat. She didn’t want Sadik thinking he was getting off that easy.
“Speaking of doctors,” she said, disentangling herself before she did something stupid like start melting, “I have an appointment with one tomorrow. And I’ve arranged to have all my medical records transferred.”
He released her immediately and walked to the phone. “What time is your appointment?”
“Eleven.”
“Good.” He dialed four numbers, then waited. When the phone was answered, he identified himself, then ordered his secretary to clear his appointments from ten-thirty until one.
“You don’t have to do this,” Cleo said when he’d hung up. “I’m perfectly capable of going by myself.”
“I do not doubt that, however I wish to speak with the doctor. I am interested in everything about your pregnancy, your health and the health of our son.”
“Again I point out that we could be having a girl.”
He didn’t even acknowledge her statement. Instead he returned to the sofa.
“There is something else we must discuss,” he said, sitting next to her. “Initially I simply made arrangements myself. However, I reconsidered. Your temperament is not as yielding as I would desire.”
“If you’re trying to say I’m stubborn, that’s hardly news. Otherwise, what are we talking about?”
“You are Princess Cleo, now,” he said. “And my wife.” Surprisingly, his expression softened. “I find everything about you beautiful and desirable.”
“I know,” she murmured. “I have to admit, it’s your best quality.”
He smiled. “It is time you dressed the part.”
Cleo was neither shocked nor hurt by his words. She’d known she was going to have to change her dressing ways, and soon. Being pregnant might complicate the transformation from mere mortal to actual princess, but it didn’t change it.
“So you’re saying there are stores that specialize in dressing today’s modern, pregnant princess?”
“Yes.”
“Who would have known?”
“I will have my secretary give you the name and number if you would prefer to set up your own appointment. The boutique owner will, of course, come to the palace.”
“Of course.”
Cleo rose and crossed to the window. The rain had stopped for the afternoon but had returned with the sunset.
“It’s really exciting,” she said without turning around. “I mean the thought of getting all new clothes and being well dressed in designer stuff.”
Sadik watched her closely. “You do not appear happy.”
She shrugged. “I remember the first time I was here with Zara. We were given fabulous dresses to wear to a state dinner. I thought it was a great game, but Zara didn’t agree with me. I guess the difference was that I was going home and she wasn’t. For her the situation was very real.”
“As it is real for you now?”
She nodded slowly. “I’m really grateful and everything, it’s just I never planned to be a princess.”
“You survived your first day. Speaking of which, you never told me what you did to occupy your time. I believe your actual words were that you had ‘the best time.’ Tell me what made it so.”
Cleo hesitated. She wasn’t sure she wanted to share her new find with Sadik. What if he didn’t think she could do it? Not that his opinion mattered, she reminded herself. She might not be as prepared as she would like, but she was willing to work hard. So much of life’s successes were about showing up and being willing to do the work.
“I went to the university,” she said, gazing at the floor rather than at Sadik. “The king suggested a tour of the city, and part of that was through the grounds of the university.”
Her enthusiasm grew as she remembered the tall, old buildings blending with modern structures. There had been treasures everywhere she looked. Small gardens tucked into courtyards, fountains, benches for reading and studying.
“I walked around and then I went inside. The library is amazing. This very nice man took me on a tour and showed me ancient manuscripts dating back over a thousand years. Sabrina’s really into that stuff, so I guess she would already know about it, but I thought it was amazing. I also—”
Sadik stood and glared at her. “You drove through the city on your own, then went to the university and spoke with a man who is not a member of this family?”
There was no mistaking his outrage. Cleo bristled as she put her hands on her hips—what she could feel of them, what with being five months pregnant—and glared right back.
“First of all, I was not alone on my tour. I was taken around by a driver. Someone the king approves of, so don’t even go
there. Second, I spoke with the senior librarian at the university library. I didn’t dance naked through the halls of a prison.”
“You are my wife,” he announced, as if that explained anything.
She couldn’t believe it. She’d thought that Sadik might make fun of her for thinking she could get her degree in something, but they couldn’t even get that far in the conversation. He was hung up on the fact that she’d spoken with a strange man.
“You need to join the rest of the world in this century,” she told her husband of one day. “Here’s a news flash—the time of the harem is over. You can’t keep your women locked up anymore. We have gained the right to move around and—” she placed the back of her hand against her forehead and sighed dramatically “—we can even think for ourselves.”
He frowned. “Cleo, I do not find this humorous.”
“I’ll bet you don’t. But here’s another news flash. I don’t care what you think on this subject. Because my touring the library was just the beginning of it. Hang on to your shorts, Your Highness. I might be married to you and having our baby in a few months, but I’m not willing to be tied down to this palace. I plan to go out and do something with my life.”
Sadik looked as if she’d slapped him with a wet fish. “What exactly are you talking about?”
Each word was clipped shorter than a buzz cut on a new military recruit.
“I’m going to start attending classes. I want to get my college degree.” She leaned toward him and set her jaw. “Don’t try to stop me on this, Sadik. I’m more stubborn than you could begin to imagine.”
She’d obviously caught him completely off guard. He didn’t speak, didn’t do anything but stare at her. Finally he shook his head and turned away.
“I forbid it.”
Figures. “The least you could do is not be predictable,” she said to his back. “Forbid away. I’m still going to do it.”
He spun toward her, his expression outraged. “You are my wife and will be the mother of my son. That is enough for any woman.”
“It’s not for me. If you’d thought you were marrying some ‘yes woman’ who didn’t have a single opinion in her empty head, you couldn’t be more wrong. You may be my husband, but you’re not my lord and master. I suggest you get over it.”
Sadik didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t surprised by Cleo’s defiance. She had been difficult from the beginning. What did surprise him was her description of the empty-headed female who didn’t have an opinion in her head. Unfairly, he’d instantly thought about Kamra.
Sadik stiffened. He would not have such disrespectful thoughts of Kamra. She had been perfection itself—always deferring to him, never questioning his judgment, always seeking his approval.
A small yet traitorous voice in his head whispered that, with time, Kamra’s devotion might have been tiresome. At least Cleo would always be challenging.
He clenched his hands into fists. He did not want to be challenged. His late fiancée had been the most perfect of women. Losing her had been the greatest tragedy of his life. He had no right to question that.
“I will speak to the president of the university,” he told her. “After that you will not be attending any classes.”
“No, you won’t,” she said softly, despite the fire in her eyes. “Because that would mean admitting you have a problem with your wife, and we both know you don’t want to do that. You’re going to have to control me yourself, Sadik. Which isn’t going to happen, so you’re going to have to get over it.”
He could feel the heat from her body. Her short blond hair was in its usual spiky disarray. While the style wasn’t traditional, on Cleo it looked delightful. He stared into her dark-blue eyes, then lowered his gaze to her full mouth. Even now, when she defied him, he wanted her. He might have given his heart to Kamra, but he wanted Cleo more than he had ever wanted any woman in his life. With a certainty he did not want to acknowledge, he knew that he would always want her, until his dying breath.
He reached for her and pulled her close. Before she could protest and pull away, he pressed his mouth to hers in a demanding kiss.
Surprise was on his side. She instantly softened against him, obviously unable to resist the passion between them. Her arms came around his neck, and her body nestled against his. He felt her full breasts press against his chest and her round belly pushing against him. Her body had changed in the past few weeks. Every day he could see the differences as her pregnancy progressed. He remembered touching her stomach that morning, as he had spoken with their child.
But instead of remembering the words, or the healthy movements of their son, he was suddenly able to recall the sweet smell of her skin and how soft and smooth she’d been.
He wanted her.
Cleo found herself getting lost in the feel of Sadik’s mouth against her own. The man knew how to kiss. He focused all of his amazing laserlike attention on the act of making love, and he loved slowly and with a thoroughness that left her satisfied beyond measure.
Even the simple act of kissing took on more meaning when it was with him. He explored her lips with his, then licked the seam. Before she could part to admit him—or, more embarrassing, beg him to deepen the kiss—he nibbled on her sensitive lower lip. The tiny love bites made her shiver in anticipation.
His large hands moved up and down her back, as if rediscovering her. She felt more than a little awkward, what with being into her fifth month, but she wasn’t embarrassed about him seeing her naked. Sadik had many flaws, but not worshiping her body wasn’t one of them. If she had her way they would—
She pulled back and glared at him. “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” she demanded.
“I was about to start kissing your neck,” he said calmly, as if discussing movie plans for after dinner. “Then I thought I would lick the inside of your ear and bite the lobe. After that I wanted to start undressing you.”
His words created a clear visual in her mind. One that made her swallow and fogged her head in such a way that it was difficult to remember why she was supposed to be upset.
Oh, yeah. “You are not going to distract me from my purpose,” she said with less force than she would have liked. But it was impossible to generate a whole lot of anger when her body was in the process of melting at the man’s touch.
“What purpose is that?” he asked.
It took her a second to remember. “You’re not going to seduce me into forgetting I want to get my college degree. It’s wrong of you to attempt to deprive me of an education.”
He pulled her close against him. “I am not trying to distract you. I’m seducing you so we can consummate our relationship. It is long past time.”
“What about my—”
He silenced her with a kiss. “Later,” he murmured, his mouth settling on hers. “Later.”
Cleo had a brief thought that she would protest, but then Sadik began to follow the plan he’d outlined and she figured they could fight anytime. Right now it wouldn’t be so very bad to give in to his insistent attentions.
He bent down and kissed from her collarbone to just below her jaw, then licked the inside of her ear. Instantly goose bumps popped out all over. She shivered and sighed. There were, she thought as her body began to heat up and prepare for the inevitable lovemaking to follow, compensations for being married to Sadik. The physical side of their marriage would always be pleasant.
But he would never love her.
The thought appeared from nowhere. Cleo firmly shoved it away. She wouldn’t think about that right now. Because if she thought about how her husband would never care about her the way he’d cared about his late fiancée, the pain would chase away all her pleasure in the moment. She felt as if she’d been alone for so long. Sadik offered warmth and a safe haven. Was it so wrong to give in to that?
His hands moving from her back around toward her breasts was answer enough. She ached for him. She felt huge and ungainly, yet she knew none of that mattered to Sadik. For r
easons that had never been clear, he would think she was gorgeous in burlap.
Even as his teeth closed on her earlobe, his hands cupped her breasts. Since the pregnancy, that part of her had grown exquisitely sensitive. Her nipples puckered in anticipation of his touch.
“Tell me,” he whispered, then sucked on her earlobe. “Tell me if I hurt you. I read that pregnancy can make a woman’s breasts too painful to touch.”
Her breasts throbbed, but not in the way he meant. If he didn’t touch her more intimately, she was going to die.
“I’m fine,” she managed to say. The need was so intense, she found it difficult to speak. “I stopped being that sensitive a few weeks ago.”
“So it is safe for me to—”
“Yes,” she said frantically, unable to keep herself from putting her hands on top of his and urging him to shift. His thumbs grazed her tight nipples, and she gasped as pleasure washed through her.
She became lost in the sensation of his fingers teasing and lightly squeezing. Fire shot through her, sailing through her midsection and settling between her legs. She was already wet. She could feel her slick readiness and the dull throbbing that signified her need for release.
Sadik wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. He kissed her deeply, his tongue slipping into her mouth and touching hers. They stroked each other, invading, playing, dancing, needing. Cleo clung to him, wanting all that he could offer. He’d always had the ability to take her to the edge of sensual sanity. Tonight she needed to forget the real world and get lost in his passion.
She became vaguely aware that he was easing them toward the bedroom. Once they were inside, he closed the door and broke the kiss long enough to lead her to the bed. With the ease of a man confident in both his abilities and his reception, he moved behind her and unzipped her dress.
The garment slipped down her arms. She grabbed it at her waist, suddenly self-conscious about the changes in her body. She glanced at him over her shoulder.
“I’m getting pretty pregnant,” she said, hating that she could feel heat flaring on her cheeks.
He grinned. “I know. I have made you so.”
Desert Rogues Part 2 Page 14
