by Autumn Grey
“You fucked her,” he signs. It’s not a question, more of an observation.
My gaze flickers to Nor and I watch as the couple leaves, and my cousin Abe saunters towards her, then back to my best friend, but I don’t answer him.
“What’s wrong with you? Couldn’t you have waited until, say, tomorrow? Or at least until the guests left? This is some twisted shit, bro.”
“Fuck off, Simon.” I don’t bother to correct his assumption and head for the door, but catch something at the corner of my eyes. I whip around to see Abe leaning down, that dirty mouth of his edging toward Nor’s cheek. That same mouth that kisses anything in a skirt. Forgetting I need some fresh air, I stalk toward them. She sees me bearing down on her and takes a step back, her eyes wide.
“Abe,” I grit out his name, at the same time my hands circles Nor’s upper arm and I focus on her. “Can we talk? Please.”
She gives me an exasperated look then shakes her head. “Later.”
“Now.” I don’t give her a choice. I mumble “excuse us” and herd her to the kitchen. Most of the guests are outside, chatting with my parents or catching up anyway. The chances of making a fool of myself are minimal. I drag her inside the little alcove that serves as the pantry, and finally drop my hand.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she signs, her eyes greener and angrier.
My heart is racing fast as I sign, “I want to apologize.”
“Did you have to drag me all the way here to do that?”
I shift on my feet. Yeah, that was a stupid move.
“All right. Apology accepted.” She skirts around me but I grasp her hand, pulling her back.
“Cole. Stop it.”
I stare down at her. “Stay away from Abe. He is a womanizer.”
She stares at me, frustrated. “Jesus, Cole. He was not doing anything. We were just talking.”
“I don’t trust him.”
She blinks. “He is your cousin.” I grit my teeth. She rolls her eyes and smirks. “You do not trust anyone. You’ve been staring daggers at any man who stopped to talk to me or the girls.”
“I don’t like the way he’s looking at you.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Are you jealous? Oh my God. You are jealous.”
Yes, I am. But that’s not it. Abe practically sniffing around her has me seeing red. I can’t believe she can’t see it. My cousin is shameless. He has always been a shameless manwhore and broke every girl’s heart within a two hundred mile radius when he was sixteen. He looks like he wants to eat Nor alive and he’s just waiting for the perfect opportunity to do it.
I glare her down. I’m not even sure what point I’m trying to prove or get across. I don’t even know why I’m doing this. She is a grown-ass woman. She can handle anything.
She wrinkles her nose and I fucking want to kiss the freckles there. Each and every one of them. “Move and stop manhandling me.”
I smirk. “I haven’t even started to manhandle you, Snowflake. I promise you if I do, you’ll be begging me to do it over and over again.”
Her cheeks flush pink as she opens her mouth and closes it, and then huffs and says, “You are impossible. . .ugh. . .what the hell!”
She grabs my face without warning, yanks me to her and kisses me.
Holy fucking shit. I wasn’t expecting that.
I lift my hands, and slide my fingers to the nape of her neck, grabbing a fistful of red hair in my hand. I hold her to me as she assaults my mouth with hers. Then her tongue parts my lips, fucking my mouth. She slides her hand between us and grips my cock through my pants. I jerk my hips, groan, walk her backwards until her back is pressed to a wall but she pushes me back, somehow flipping me around on my back and I let her. I let her because I know she needs this. I need this too, and for once, I see the little firecracker I left behind all those years ago. She’s still fierce and I love it. Then she pulls back, her cheeks flushed, lips swollen and eyes bright, breathing hard.
Shit. That was fucking amazing. I grab her hips to pull her back, eager to let her consume me as I want to consume her, but she pushes against my chest with trembling hands, her chest heaving up and down fast.
“You think you’re the only one who lost something? I lost you. I lost my world. You were my world but I couldn’t let anyone destroy my everything. Not even my father. You, Cole, were my everything.” She steps forward, her eyes narrowed at me. “Stay away from me, Cole. If you’re ready to talk, come and see me, and I hope to hell your Batman won’t be doing the thinking next time. Pull your head out of your ass for more than three seconds and listen.”
She pats back the tresses of red hair that have escaped the bun after my manhandling and adjusts the front of her dress where her breasts are eagerly calling for me. She opens her mouth and says, “I’m leaving now.”
“We are not done talking.” I step around to block her way.
She looks up at me, one eyebrow raised. “Well. Boo-freaking-hoo. Don’t. Follow. Me. You big brute.” She adds the last part with a swift lift of her chin, and then she spins around and strides away.
Whoa. I feel like a tornado just whooped my ass, and instead of destroying me, it left me wanting more.
After taking deep breaths, I’m hot on her trail as she rushes toward Abe—the whoring motherfucker—as though Satan is after her ass. The magnitude with which I crave that cute little ass is immense, Satan has nothing on me. Simon intercepts me, causing me to stop.
“Can I speak with you? Alone?” Simon signs, staring at me meaningfully.
“Get out of my way, Simon.”
“Not going to happen. Unless you want to continue entertaining the guests with your He-Man tendencies, then, by all means.” He smirks, wagging his eyebrows.
I scan the room, my heart still racing after that hot little session in the kitchen. My parents are standing near the front door, staring in our direction. Mom is frowning and my dad is rubbing his chin as if he’s contemplating something.
My gaze flickers to where Nor is staring nervously in my direction. She gives Simon a look of relief and then shoots me a grimace. Her chin juts out and she turns back to face Abe.
I follow my idiotic best friend while gritting my teeth.
“You’re treading on very dangerous grounds, Simon. What do you want?”
He stops and turns to face me. “Jesus, Cole. What kind of foreplay was that? You and Nor literally eye fucked each other in front of everyone. And then you dragged her out of the room, looking like you were about to kill her. Or fuck her. You need to dial down whatever you’re going through. I thought you hated her.”
I clench my jaw. “What do you want?”
He rolls his eyes. “Fred Kiplinger wants to meet with you and Tate as soon as possible. Tate will meet you in Boston.”
Fuck. “I can’t leave Nor and the girls just yet.”
He stares at me hard. “I agree with you. They need you. But you are not in a position to be here for them acting the way you did. Dude, that shit would be hot if it weren’t for Josh being dead.”
“Stay the fuck out of my business.”
He raises his hands in surrender and takes a step back, grinning. “Look at it this way. That trip to Boston will be you putting things into perspective. And when you come back, you can go and get her before you drive everyone crazy with your shitty attitude, you moody bastard.”
MY PHONE ON THE WOODEN table beeps and then lights up with a text message. I reach for it, squint at the screen, and smile as I tap on the yellow envelope.
Megs: How are you and the girls?
Me: Girls are sleeping. I’m on the roof.
I press send and then grab the glass of Bailey’s and Coke, and take a sip. I set it back on the table just as my screen lights up.
Megs: I’m coming over.
Crap. I’m not sure I am up for company tonight. Megs has been amazing as always. After Cole left, her friendship had been my life vest keeping me from drowning those first years. It’s
unfortunate that she and Simon broke up after he moved to New York with Cole. They’d have been together if it weren’t for me.
Me: Please don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine, I promise. I just need to be alone tonight.
Megs: What happened at the wake? That kind of tension was off the charts. Have you told him yet?
Me: Not yet. God. He was being such a cave man. We kissed again upstairs. What the hell am I doing, Megs?
Megs: You are Nor. He is Cole. It’s a given.
I huff a breath of frustration.
Me: He might have a life in New York for all I know. A girlfriend or a wife.
Megs: He doesn’t.
Me: How do you know?
This time she takes longer to reply. A thought tickles my mind and I feel excitement soar through me.
Me: You little vixen! Have you and Simon been humping like rabbits? Did he tell you that while he was reacquainting you with his Batman?
My phone beeps.
Megs: Simon told me. And no. There hasn’t been any reacquainting going on. I need to sort out the mess in my life first. Plus, I kind of hate men at the moment.
I chuckle under my breath. Yeah, right. Anyone with eyes could see how those two affected each other.
Me: Want to bet how long you’ll hate men?
Megs: I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer. Good night. Call me if you need me.
I smile and reach for my glass then gulp down its contents before I set it back on the table. I look around, taking in the string of lights hanging low above me. After moving in with Grandma, she had given me free rein to redecorate the roof terrace. We celebrated the twins’ birthday here on the roof last year.
I snuggle deeper into the loveseat, the fire crackling in the fire pit. I sigh and continue star-gazing. Cora and Joce fell asleep two hours ago, exhausted and emotionally spent. Lying here like this, reminds me of Cole and the nights he and I used to sit on my roof for hours. Sometimes the pain is just too much but I’ve learned to embrace it over the years. To turn it into something positive. Something peaceful.
One thing is for sure. My desire for Cole hasn’t waned. You’d think after nine years of being away from each other we’d be more reserved. But no. Our broken souls stirred awake the moment we set eyes on each other at the hospital. And now they thrive, nourished by being in each other’s presence. Every touch and each look stitches those parts in me I thought would never mend.
Crap. Stop it, Nor. Don’t torture yourself like this.
Cole and I still need to talk. The question is, will he forgive me after he knows the truth?
Earlier today, my mother called from Phoenix where she’s now living with her boyfriend, Pete. She couldn’t make it to the funeral, which I guess, is okay. They will be visiting in two months or so. She said she’ll call to confirm the exact date. She sounded happy, much more than when she lived at home. I’m glad for her. My father had done a lot of damage to her, he almost broke her completely. I feel content that Pete is taking good care of her. The last time I saw them was over a year ago when they came to visit us. He doted on her, held her, made her smile. They met a few years ago in group therapy. Pete was the attending therapist. It was love at first sight, that’s what she says.
My phone vibrates on the wooden table, forcing my gaze to leave the starless sky. I reach for my phone and click on the message flashing on the screen with my finger. Goosebumps trail down my arms and I squeeze my thighs together to ease the tingling between my legs. He isn’t even here and my body is responding to him with a vicious need.
Cole: I’m outside.
I don’t have the strength to deal with Cole right now. He’s too intense. Too everything. And that terrifies me and excites me at the same time.
He doesn’t have a girlfriend.
Me: Go home Cole. The girls are sleeping.
Cole: I’m not here to see the girls. We need to talk.
I sigh. Now is not the right time to talk.
Me: We’ll talk when you come back from Boston.
Seconds pass.
Cole: Nor.
Cole: Please.
I drag my body from the couch and shuffle down the steps. When I reach the front door, I remove the door chain, flip the locks, and peek out. Cole’s standing on the porch. His forehead is pressed on the wall. He’s not wearing his trusted beanie so his hair is on full display: wild and wavy. He tilts his head to look at me. I suck in a breath, taking in the tortured look on his face. The muscles on his shoulder and stomach flex as he pushes himself off the wall with his hands and straightens.
How can I turn him away, when he looks like this?
“Come on in.” I step aside to let him in.
He takes a step forward and stops in front of me. He dips his head into the crook of my neck. Inhales long and hard. I shiver. Warmth spreads across my skin and I’m dizzy, dying. He exhales even harder, pulling me back to life. I’m drunk from having his body so close to mine.
Oh.
God.
I can’t move. I need to move something. A hand. My legs. My mouth. Maybe kiss him and take those wasted breathes into my lungs.
Behave, my brain tells my body, my heart.
I stumble back and step aside to let him in. I close the door and follow him into the living room, my gaze on his backside. My feet guide me forward, my palms itching to grab a piece of his—
“Ooomph!” I hit a wall of muscle and stagger back. Two strong hands grip my shoulders, righting me.
“Are you okay?” Cole asks, frowning at me.
Heat explodes across my face but I manage to bob my head. Oh wow, that Bailey’s went straight to my head.
“Want a beer?” I ask him, my pulse thudding in my ears.
He nods. I hurry to the fridge and grab a bottle before I end up groping him. The cool glass startles me, knocking some of the haze from the Bailey’s from my head. I return to Cole’s side and shove it in his hands, then stand back to watch as he twists the cap, slants his head back and takes a long drink. He lowers his arm holding the bottle and then wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.
Sexiest thing ever.
“Can I see the girls? I won’t wake them. I promise.” He breaks through my thoughts with those words.
He looks so broken. If seeing the girls will take away that look of hopelessness from his face, then so be it.
I nod and lead the way upstairs. Halting in front of Cora’s room, I push the door with my fingers. Snores drift from where Cora and Joce are sprawled on the bed, sleeping. The light from the hallway faintly illuminates the angles of their faces, while the other side is cast in shadows. We stand there, watching our daughters. Joce jerks her hands, startled in her sleep but quickly calms down and goes back to sleep.
“They are beautiful. You and Josh raised them well.” I nod, a lump forming in my throat. Cole takes another sip from his bottle. He looks at me, tears brimming at the corner of his eyes. “I miss him so much.” He squeezes his eyes and the tears fall down his cheeks.
“Oh Cole,” I murmur under my breath as I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around him. He returns my embrace with a tighter one, his face buried into the crook of my neck. His body shakes against mine. I can’t take away the pain, but I can hold him at least. I rub my hand down his back, and kiss his bowed head. He shudders as his tears subside and raises his head from my shoulder.
I cup his face in my hands and wipe the lingering wetness on his cheek. “He loved you so much, you know. He never stopped talking about you to the girls.”
“Fuck. He died thinking I was mad at him. I was angry with him for a long time. It took fucking cancer to knock some sense into me.”
I push the locks of hair falling on his forehead. “He knew you loved him.”
He shakes his head as if to deny my words and turns away from me. He props one elbow on the door frame and bites his bottom lip, his focus on our daughters.
I lean on the wall behind me and close my eyes. I
try to sort out what I’m feeling. Warm lips brush against mine. My eyes flip open, colliding with Cole’s intense, dark gray eyes. A frown mars his brow as he continues to study me. I’m trapped by the sudden rush of bliss his mouth stirred up in me.
“It is wrong to kiss you like this, Snowflake. But I can’t stop myself. Why does it feel so right? I should have known we would end up in each other’s space sooner or later.”
His mouth presses on mine again, sucking my bottom lip inside his mouth, nipping it. I wince a little, but lift my arms and dig my fingers into his scalp. I take a fist full of hair and tug it.
He hisses, groans. That sound hits me low in my stomach, ricocheting all over my body. He leans to the side and I hear the sound of glass thud softly on the floor. He straightens, and then he’s kissing me and I’m moaning, the sound bouncing on the walls.
Crap. We’re going to wake up the girls. I pull back, ready to duck under Cole’s arm, but he seems to have other ideas. He slides his arm around my waist and walks me backward toward my room, his heated gaze never leaving my face. I want this so badly, even an earthquake wouldn’t stop me from taking what he is offering.
He stops and cups my face in his hands. He crushes his mouth on mine, kissing me wildly, desperately, needy. He pulls his head back abruptly, stares at me. “I need you so much. I want to bury myself inside you.” He removes one hand from my cheek, trails it down my shoulder, my breast. He squeezes it hard before kneading it and pinching my nipple. My body jolts and I whimper. I try to move away from his grasp. I want to grab his hand and drag him to my bed, but he seems to have other ideas. His hand continues its descent, in slow deliberate touches and by the time he rounds my thigh and cups me between my legs, I’m writhing against his hard body.
“I need to stop feeling like this.” His speech is more labored, rough. “Please make the pain go away. I want to bury my cock in here. This sweet pussy. Fuck, Nor. I cannot believe no one else has been in there.”
His words heat my body. No one has ever spoken to me like that. Well, other than Cole himself. His words always had that kind of effect on me.
