by Zoey Oliver
He didn’t expect Maia to be available. Would he change his mind now that he knows she wants to take on the role she shunned years before? Or would he keep Maia as a mistress and me as his wife?
My lips compress at the thought. I refuse to be in that position. It doesn’t matter why he changed his mind, or even if he changes it again. What matters is our marriage began under false pretenses, and he deliberately withheld the only way I could have maintained my original plans for the future. In just a few minutes, the truth shatters all the trust I’ve placed in him.
Anger cuts through the numb disbelief, and I jump to my feet. The pages scatter around the floor, but I don’t stoop to pick them up. My focus is centered on returning to packing, but not with the intention of waiting for Jayson to decide it’s time to return to New York. I’ll arrange for the jet to take me home. Once in the city, I’ll move my things from his penthouse apartment and go on with the plans I made when our marriage was supposed to dissolve at the end of summer.
Anger fuels my movements, and I fill my cases in less than an hour. I’m stuffing clothes into the last bag when the bedroom door opens. My spine stiffens, my heart races, and my stomach churns as Jayson comes in.
He seems to be in a better mood than yesterday, and I briefly remember Sophie’s plight. If he’s still intent on forcing a marriage, I’ll do my best to stop him. Forcing a marriage must be his answer to everything.
He draws up short, his gaze on the packed bags. “What’s going on?”
“It’s time to return to New York,” I say in an icy tone.
Jayson frowns. “Has something happened? Is Sophie ill?”
I shake my head. “No.”
He walks closer, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling my back against him. “What’s the rush? I thought we could stay a while longer, just the two of us. It could be the honeymoon we never had.”
I stiffen at his touch, and now I jerk away. “The honeymoon we never had that went with the marriage we never should have had.”
With a sharp exhalation, he turns me around to face him. “What happened? You’re angry.”
“Yes, but more than that, I’m just done.” I don’t like the hint of defeat bleeding through in my voice.
His face reflects his bewilderment. “Done with what?”
“This.” I wave my hand vaguely. “The whole situation, Jayson. I’m through with this sham of a marriage.”
He frowns. “What happened to extending our arrangement?”
“What happened to honesty?” I advance toward him, spurred by anger. “You lied to me. You kept my share of the company shrouded in paperwork, taking advantage of my grief to take over the stocks, knowing I was in no state to realize what you were doing.”
Jayson flinches. “What are you talking about?”
“Ask Maia,” I toss out glibly. “She knows everything about your motivations for the marriage. More than I do, but I’m just your wife.”
“I had no motivations beyond Sophie’s welfare,” he snaps.
“I don’t believe you, Jayson.” I turn away from him. “I can’t trust you, and we can’t have a relationship if there’s no trust.”
“You’re leaving, just like that?”
I nod, glad he can’t see the tears pushing against my eyelids. “It’s over.”
“No, not yet.” Jayson strides to the door. “You are not going anywhere.”
“Try to stop me.”
A nasty smile makes his lips curve. “Gladly, agape mou.” He slams the door behind him. I rush toward it as I hear a key turn in the lock.
“What are you doing?” I pound on the door. “Jayson?”
“I am making sure you stay put.”
I yell his name as the sound of his footfalls fades. “You bastard.” I hit the door again before sagging against it, drained. I planned to avoid a confrontation, at least until I was back in New York. My racing mind supplied a few scenarios for how it would go when I told him the marriage was over, but this particular one never occurred to me. I would never have dreamed my husband would lock me in our bedroom. Like a prisoner.
Like a prisoner? I am a prisoner. Trapped in his bedroom, in his house, and in his country, I’m at Jayson’s mercy.
The minutes creep by, and I pace the room while waiting for his return. At one point, I go onto the balcony, but one look down confirms the drop to the ground would be extremely dangerous. The longer I pace, the more I seethe. When the lock finally turns in the door, I turn to face him as he enters the room, my feet solidly planted, bracing myself.
“What do you think you’re doing? You can’t lock me in this room. I’m leaving.”
His face tightens. “Not yet, you aren’t.”
“Stop me.” I straighten my spine and stride forward. His hand clamps around my arm as I try to pass him. “Let me go, Jayson.”
“If you want to leave, then you can—once you take this.” He shoves a bag into my hand.
Taking it automatically, I open the plastic bag to find a three-pack of home pregnancy tests and a specimen cup. I blink, looking up at him with confusion. “What is this about?”
“It is about you not leaving until I know if you’re carrying my child,” says Jayson, his expression unreadable.
Closing the bag, I try to push it back into his hands, but he won’t take it. “This is crazy. I’m not pregnant. I can’t be.” I stare pointedly at the bedside table before looking back at him. “You always used protection.”
“Always?” he asks smoothly. “I think you’re forgetting the first night we spent together. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know we were so... passionate that we haven’t always acted responsibly.”
I shake my head. “I’d know if I were pregnant.”
He shrugs. “You haven’t had your uh…‘monthly visitor’ in weeks.”
My face burns. “How would you know? Are you keeping track?”
Jayson snorts. “Not at all, but since we became lovers, I would notice.”
I drop my gaze, not wanting to admit that I haven’t been keeping track. My mind races as I try to remember when I last had a cycle. A sinking feeling hits the pit of my stomach when I realize I was in New York the last time. We’ve been here for weeks, and I’m usually regular.
I swallow audibly. “Fine, just to humor you, I’ll take one.” I look him in the eye now. “Just so we’re clear, when the test is negative, you aren’t stopping me from leaving.”
His mouth curls at one corner. “I wouldn’t dream of making you stay against your will, agape mou.” Turning toward the bathroom, I freeze when he adds, “Unless my child is inside you.”
I storm to the bathroom, uttering a sound of protest when he pushes open the door. “I can handle this alone.”
“Of course you can, but I don’t trust you to tell me the truth.” He takes the bag from me to withdraw the specimen cup. “You take care of this part, and I’ll supervise the testing process.”
“You’re such an insufferable bastard.” I snatch the cup from his hand. His chuckle follows me into the bathroom. Under my breath, I curse him as I set about the task at hand. It’s not easy when you’re being monitored, but I finally manage to produce a sample.
With a sinking heart, I set the cup on the counter. “You can come in now,” I say with reluctance, wanting to put off the test. Of course, I want to deny that I could be pregnant, but the more I think about it the more things make sense—like the bouts of nausea and fatigue. I’d attributed them to something else—anything else—but now I can’t help reevaluating the past few weeks, mentally searching for clues.
Jayson comes in, holding a test in his hand. He hands me the foil package and I rip it open, despite my shaking hands. With a deep breath, I dip the test stick into the cup. Even before I can put the cap back on and lay it flat, a faint test line starts to appear. As I watch, the line gets clearer and darker than the control line.
Jayson’s breath stirs my hair as he exhales from behind me. “You are preg
nant.”
You don’t have to sound so pleased about it, I think. “It could be a false positive. The instructions say it would take up to ten minutes to be accurate. The line appeared immediately, so it must be a faulty test.”
“That is unlikely, but test again.” He grabs another test. “This is a digital test.” This time, my hands shake too much to allow me to open the package, so he does it himself and puts the test in the cup. The small screen displays “Pregnant” in less than a minute. Jayson shows it to me. “This is also positive. You have to admit the odds of two tests being defective are pretty low.”
I shrug. “It could be a bad batch.”
“Okay, fine.” He nods decisively as he sweeps the tests into the trashcan. “We’ll leave for New York within the hour. I shall arrange for you to see the best obstetrician in the city, and he can confirm your pregnancy.”
“Don’t say that,” I hiss. “It isn’t my anything. I’m not pregnant.”
“We’ll see,” he says with apparent neutrality, though his eyes gleam.
Two days later, I sit in the car beside Jayson as the limousine takes us back to the apartment. I clutch a folder full of prenatal care tips in my hands but haven’t opened it. It’s surreal, but there’s no denying the pregnancy. The test at the doctor’s office yielded the same results, which the ob-gyn confirmed with an ultrasound.
“There he—or she—is,” Dr. Anderson had said, pointing with an elegantly manicured nail to a little blob on the screen. “That’s the fetal pole, which is a good sign. It’s too early to see the heartbeat, since you’re only about five weeks pregnant.” She must have seen my look of confusion, because she adds, “Don’t forget we’re counting from the first day of your last cycle, not the date of conception.”
My glance drops to the ultrasound picture Jayson holds in his hand. He had taken the printout reverently, while I wanted to run from the room and pretend like nothing was happening. The little blob looked like nothing discernable and certainly not the beginnings of our baby.
Our baby. I shake my head at the idea. Jayson, the father of my child. Anger still simmers within me at his lies. I should hate the idea of having his child. Instead, my heart swells, and a lump of moisture settles in my throat. Hesitantly, I place a hand low on my belly, amazed that a new life is growing there.
I jump when Jayson puts his hand over mine. “Don’t touch me.”
He sighs heavily. “Harper, you must move past this unreasonable anger. We have to make our marriage work, for the baby’s sake.”
I sniff. “How barbaric, to stay married for a baby. I can raise him just fine on my own, thank you.”
His lips thin. “Perhaps you could, but you won’t. He’ll have two parents.”
“Of course. I don’t mean you wouldn’t be part of his life. I simply meant having a baby is no reason to stay together.”
Jayson quirks his brow. “You have changed your opinion in such a short amount of time, agape mou.”
I frown. “What are you talking about?”
“At the Kakos party, you said the needs of a child, particularly a young one, had to come before the wants of the parents. Our baby needs both of us, no matter how much you want to leave me.”
I flinch, remembering the conversation. Squirming, I’m unable to refute it. I do truly feel that way, but the idea of remaining trapped in a marriage to a man who has manipulated and used me brings tears to my eyes. Blinking them away, I set my mouth into a firm line. “You’re right. He needs us, but I want no semblance of a marriage with you, Jayson. We’ll return to our previous arrangement, one of roommates instead of lovers.”
He curses softly. “Why must you be so childish about this, Harper? You want to deny us the pleasure we can give each other because of some childish need for revenge?”
My mouth drops and I whip my head to the side to glare at him. “It isn’t a childish need for revenge. I can’t share my body with someone I don’t trust.”
Jayson scowls. “Fine, Harper. If we are to return to our previous arrangement, don’t expect me to wait at home for scraps of affection.”
“I’m sure you can find what you need elsewhere,” I retort coldly, though my heart tears into pieces at the thought of him with another woman. Yet I can’t have it both ways. It’s devastating to imagine him with a mistress, but I’m too hurt to be his wife.
The next few years stretch before me, a wasteland of emptiness. While I can’t regret conceiving a child, I fervently wish it is with a man who loves me as much as I love Jayson. In my heart, I want no other man but him, but without trust, what future could we have?
Chapter 13
Harper
The next few weeks are a haze. I’m going through the motions of everyday activities without feeling anything at all. No, that’s not exactly true. I’m terrified of the future. I’m also terrified of my physical reaction to Jayson. Whenever he’s near, I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not going to touch him.
Because it’s all I want to do.
Am I refusing to have sex to punish him? Or am I just punishing myself? I didn’t think I was that petty. It’s difficult to look at Jayson without remembering the sharp agony of discovering the true reason for our marriage. That agony has faded to a duller, constant ache, but being near him is still torture.
To want him at the same time? It’s crazy.
At least Jayson seems to have dropped the idea of Sophie marrying Loukas. Tension remains between them, but it looks as if they’ve declared a tentative truce. Sophie is due to depart for college next week. She decided to go earlier than she originally planned, since we ended the vacation so abruptly. I suspect she’s probably escaping before Jayson changes his mind.
If only I could escape so easily. The atmosphere is stifling. It makes me want to run screaming from the house, though that wouldn’t solve anything. Until the baby is older, I’m trapped in a loveless marriage with Jayson.
It depresses me to visualize another few years of an empty relationship, let alone a lifetime. At least before we went to bed together, I convinced myself I didn’t love him any longer. I also had Sophie as a focus of my attention. What will I do with myself from the time Sophie leaves until the baby comes?
In truth, I’ve started to look forward to having the baby, but it’s difficult to muster enthusiasm when I’m feeling so low.
The next few days drift by, and I’m lost in my own thoughts. Once Sophie leaves the household in a week, I’m even more lost and lonely, but can’t reach out to Jayson. He would likely offer comfort—and perhaps suggest we try to build a real marriage again—but I can’t risk exposing myself to more pain.
A few days later with Sophie gone, I’m in in the study, attempting to focus my attention on a natural health pregnancy book. It’s one of a stack I discovered on the table near Jayson’s desk. Jayson’s the only one who could have purchased the books, since it’s unlikely one of the housemaids or the cook would have bought them. It touches my heart that he is so involved with the pregnancy, and yet it’s confusing. How can he be so thoughtful, and such a liar at the same time?
The door opens, but I don’t look up. I’m sure it’s one of the maids. Jayson left for the office hours ago, and he’s coming home later and later each evening. I can’t help wondering if he’s found a mistress to fulfill his needs. It shouldn’t hurt if he has. So why can I barely breathe when imagining it?
As the door closes I look up, alerted to his presence through some subtle sixth sense I’ve developed when it comes to him. “Hello.” How difficult it is to get out the simple greeting and keep my voice neutral.
“Hello.” He casts a glance at the books on the table, along with the one on my lap, looking sheepish. “It’s probably too early to buy those…”
I manage a small smile. “I guess you can’t start preparing for this kind of thing too early.”
He nods. “Do you have a moment?”
I hesitate. “Why?”
“I want to show you some
thing.”
I bite my lip, and consider refusing. Without a good reason, turning him down would be childish. I don’t want to punish him by behaving like that. It’s in both our interests to achieve, and maintain, a decent relationship since we will be raising a child together. “Sure.” Taking time to fold the corner of the page that I’ve reread several times without absorbing any information, I set the book on the cushion beside me. He looks poised to assist me when I get to my feet, but I step away before he can touch me with the hand he seems to have raised only through instinct.
He sighs audibly, but says nothing about it. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” I answer, slightly aloof, as I walk beside him. When we take the stairs, I tense up. Is he planning to steer me into the master suite? Will he try to persuade me to have sex?
Will I let him?
Breathing a slight sigh of relief, I try to ignore a twinge of disappointment when we bypass the bedroom. Is he going to surprise me with a renovated room, turned into a nursery? My lips twitch. If so, he’s certainly being proactive, since I’m not quite eight weeks along yet.
Instead, he leads me farther down the hallway, to the door with roof access. Intrigued, I climb up the flight of stairs, wondering what he wants to show me on the roof.
We emerge into the sweltering heat and I shield my eyes from the sun. “Are we going for a swim?” I ask lightly, as we walk toward the pool.
“No.” He walks past the pool and lounge chairs around it. When Jayson moves slightly, I catch sight of a white building that wasn’t here before, and my heart skips a beat. I stop beside him when he comes to a halt.
“Is that a greenhouse?”
Jayson nods. “The workers set up everything this morning.” He gestures to the area beside it, where someone’s built raised gardening beds and filled them with rich soil.
I blink, speechless for a long moment. “Why?” I finally ask.
