by Shey Stahl
Fuck, talk about fears. I hope she never meets a delinquent like I was growing up. If so, I’m moving the entire family away from him.
I place a soft kiss on her forehead, rocking her gently when Glen comes in with Helena to meet their granddaughter. “Hey,” he says softly, peering down at her. “She’s beautiful.”
“She is.” I glance up at him. “Wanna hold her?”
He smiles, and nods and I hand her over to her grandpa. “She looks like you, trouble.”
I laugh as Helena rests her head on Glen’s shoulder, tears streaming down her cheeks as she examines Renly, touching her tiny hands and face. “She’s so precious,” Helena gushes, wiping her tears away.
I make my way over to Aly and kiss her forehead. She reaches up touches my cheek. “I love you,” I whisper.
She cries harder, unable to say anything. Every story has an ending, but in life, every story is a new beginning. She’s our new beginning.
IT’S ABOUT AN hour after Aly gives birth to Renly that I take the boys to the gift shop, so she can get some rest.
“Who are you buying the flower for?” Grady asks Cash when he places a rose on the counter at the gift shop. “Is it for Arrow?”
“No!” Cash shouts, our endless teasing about the girl he “doesn’t like” getting the better of him.
I have to physically separate them at the counter from knocking over the rack of cards next to them. “Pull yourselves together,” I tell them, grabbing them by the backs of their shirts, laughing. It’s not like they’re being bad, their just boys.
We pay for our gifts and are heading toward the elevators when Cash looks up at me. “How’d you put the baby in my mom?”
Shit. You know, I knew this was coming eventually. They’d kind of danced around the subject of how babies were made lately, but they hadn’t come out and asked yet. I guess seeing their baby sister made it real and their curiosity got the better of them.
“I think you’re too young to know that.”
Cash never falls for that line. Ever. “I think I need to know.”
He’s not going to give up, so I ask, “How do you think she got in there?”
“You rub your penis on the girl and then she pees on a stick, and she’s pregnant,” he tells me and the older gentleman in the elevator with us.
The man looks at me, then Cash, and back to me. Aly’s going to kill me. “You’re not completely wrong.” I hit the button for the maternity floor. “But there’s more to it than that.”
“If water hits my penis in the shower it tickles,” Grady announces, conversationally to the entire elevator. There are now three other people on it with us and I’m pretty sure I might go to hell for what I say next, but when have you ever known me to not be brutally honest with kids?
“Wait until you’re a teenager. Showers are a lot more fun.”
“Why?” Cash asks, smelling the rose in his hands that’s not for Arrow.
“They just are.” I lean my head back against the elevator door, feeling the burn of judgmental eyes scowling at me. “What do you want me to do, lie to them?” I ask, waiting for someone to tell me how to parent boys.
Nobody says a goddamn thing.
Back in the room, everything is back to normal. The boys give their gifts to their mom and then leave to have dinner with Henry and Tori. That’s when I’m in the bed with Aly, who’s feeding Renly.
Wrapping my arm around her, I pull her close. The moment’s intimate and precious, watching her give nourishment to our daughter.
It’s then, while she’s talking about wanting to take her home now and I’m trying to convince her maybe staying the night is better, that a nurse walks in. She does her thing, checking Aly’s vitals and then baby.
And then she starts to tell a story of a man in the elevator giving his sons a lesson in baby making. Sound familiar?
Uh-huh.
Aly’s face grows more and more entertained with each word the nurse that needs to keep her fucking mouth shut says. I’m glaring. Aly’s laughing, and by the time the nurse is finished, she finally realizes it’s me.
“Oh, uh. . . you’re that dad. . . .”
What an idiot.
Aly smiles at me when the nurse leaves. “Are you going to set them straight when they’re older?”
I shrug and take Renly from her. “You have to admit, Cash was kinda right.”
She laughs, resting her head against my shoulder. “You’re the best dad.” Her lips press to my shoulder, blinking slowly. “I can’t believe we have a daughter now.”
I let out a shaky breath, but laugh and press my lips to her temple. “She’s beautiful. Thank you.”
“Are you scared?”
“Me? Fuck, yeah, I’m scared. I’m scared of a lot of things.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Like what?”
“Penis fish.”
“Ridge. . . .”
“Okay, sorry. I had to say it.” When has she ever known me to be serious at first? Truth is, I’m terrified. So I tell her. “I’m scared. I’m scared of not being enough for you.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Because after what you’ve been through, you’re strong and independent. You don’t need a man in your life to be okay. That makes me have to be so much more to keep you.” The corners of my mouth twitch into a half smile. “That scares me.”
“You’re enough. You want to know why?”
“A dad isn’t defined as a man who makes the child. He’s the man who raises and loves the child with all his heart, even when it’s hard. Blood doesn’t always make a man a dad.” Like how she says that line clearer than any other? Me too. But she continues with, “Being a dad comes from being present and giving your heart.”
I gave my heart. I gave it all to her, the boys, and now Renly. “I think I fell in love with you, again.”
I once said I had regrets. No, actually, I said I they were mistakes, didn’t I?
The thing I realized is that for things to go right, sometimes they have to go wrong before you understand the difference. I know the difference.
I didn’t like this book in the beginning. And honestly, there were times when writing it, I hated it. The characters frustrated me, but I kept going because I needed to tell the story. I had to.
This book stemmed from the experiences of those strong women around me who had their worlds rearranged and crushed without warning. I won’t name them, because to me, that’s not important. What’s important is they’re strong, independent, quietly confident women who deserve happiness without the complications that seem to come with most relationships. Girls, I’m so sorry for everything you’ve gone through, and I truly wish you happiness in the days, weeks, months, and years to come as you navigate through these changes with your children. I love all of you, and thank you so much for sharing your experiences with me.
To my husband. I know our marriage isn’t perfect. It’s us. It’s messy and sometimes strange to the outsiders looking in, but to us, it makes perfect sense. Thank you for showing me love complicated is exactly what it takes to make it work.
Thank you to my daughter, you show me how to love unconditionally and selfless.
To the girls in my BETA group, thank you for talking me off the ledge with this one when I nearly threw the story away a few times and proofreading for me. A special thanks to Janet Johnson, girl, I love you more than words! You’re always there, any time, any day.
Nikki Ash, thanks for proofreading on such short notice and catching my plot hole!
Tracy, thanks for designing the cover! It’s been great working with you.
Becky, thank you, sweets. You’re always there when I need the little extra push and give me the confidence to keep going. Someday I might stick to my deadlines and surprise the shit out of you with an actual completed manuscript. Ha. Likely.
To my readers, thanks for sticking with me over the years. It’s because of you I keep writing. I hope you enjoy this family as much as I did in
the end. There was certainly a time when I didn’t like them during the process.
Shey is a USA Today best-selling author, a wife, mother, and daughter. Writing is her passion, giving words meaning, and readers experiences they’ll never forget. She’s a lover of sunsets, dirt track racing, and the south, where her soul wants to be. Currently she’s living in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and daughter and can usually be found near a dirt track with an iced (extra ice) coffee in hand.
Visit her website for additional information and keep up to date on new releases: www.sheystahl.com.
You can also find her on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/SheyStahlAuthor
Racing on the Edge
Happy Hour
Black Flag
Trading Paint
The Champion
The Legend
Hot Laps
The Rookie
Fast Time
Open Wheel
Pace Laps
Dirt Driven (TBA)
Behind the Wheel (TBA)
The Redemption Series
The Trainer
The Fighter
Stand Alones
Waiting for You
Everything Changes
Deal
All I Have Left
Awakened
Everlasting Light
Bad Blood
Heavy Soul
Bad Husband
Burn
Shade
Crossing the Line
Delayed Penalty
Delayed Offsides
Delayed Roughing (TBA)
The Torqued Trilogy
Unsteady
Unbearable
Unbound
Ex’s and Oh’s
Love Complicated
Love Disclosed
Love Unexplained
