Jillian refused to condemn her child to the woman’s smothering custody. It wasn’t that she wanted a piece of Clarence to herself, if anything; Jillian prayed that the babe would show no signs of who the father was. What she wanted was a family. Someone to love and care for, to raise with all the affection her own childhood had missed. Maybe someday, she would write to Clarence’s mother and let her know that she had a grandchild, but not until Jillian felt safely hidden.
For now, this flyspeck town in the middle of nowhere answered her needs very well. Now all she needed was a husband and a new name to complete her disguise. Walking from the station to a nearby building with a wooden sign proclaiming it to be a motel, Jillian kept her shoulders straight and ignored the nausea that continued to churn.
* * *
David leaned back in his chair sipping a last cup of coffee. Miss Millie had bustled off somewhere claiming that there was work to do. His own ranch called to him and he knew he should head home, but at the moment, his belly was pleasantly full of good food and his mood mellow. The ranch could fend for itself for a few more hours.
It took him a moment to focus on what he was seeing through the hotel’s big picture window. A pale faced woman in black was crossing the street carrying a worn carpetbag that seemed to be trying to drag her to the ground. There were few enough women in town, many of them still sleeping even though the sun was beginning its decent to the west. Certainly none of them wore such an outfit, covering her from neck to toe. Or such quality, the black material had the faint sheen of silk.
What was such a woman doing in a hole-in-the-wall town as Red Lodge?
The woman pushed open the door setting the bell tied to the handle into a frenzy. David tugged his hat lower over his eyes so that he could continue to watch her without being noticed. Miss Millie came out with her usual beaming smile to greet the new arrival.
“Welcome, welcome. We don’t often get such pretty young ladies in our little town. Are you here visiting friends? You look awfully pale dearie, do you feel well?” Miss Millie draped an arm around the younger woman’s shoulders and guided her to a table. The young woman stared at Millie and seemed dazed at the instant familiarity.
David smiled; the woman did love to mother everyone whether or not they wanted it. The newcomer did look as if they needed someone to look out for her. He had noticed her pale face through the window, but now that she was just a few feet away, he could also see the dark circles under her eyes and the tired droop to her lips. She had come to the right place. Miss Millie would take good care of her.
“If you please, ma’am, I’m looking for someone.” The young woman’s voice was quiet and carried a hint of refinement. It had been a long time since David had heard such speech.
Millie’s eyes brightened. “Well, I know just about everyone within a hundred-mile radius or more, who are you looking for, child?”
The young woman pulled out a worn piece of paper and unfolded it. “I don’t know his name, but he wrote this ad. I would like to fill the position.”
“A position,” Millie exclaimed. “In my opinion, you don’t look well enough to take any kind of position.”
“Oh, but I need to.” The woman’s voice took on an earnestness that made David tip his hat back and look at her more closely. “I know I don’t look my best, but I have never liked riding on trains, the motion makes me ill. Will you read this and see if it sounds like anyone you know.”
She pushed the paper toward Millie and chewed her lip waiting for the older woman to make her way through the print. David couldn’t help but notice the lip currently being chewed on was well shaped and set in a pleasant expression. The young woman’s scanned the room as Millie read. The gaze fell on him and her eyes widened before looking back at the paper.
Millie was done reading and she had turned to look at him with raised eyebrows. What had she read to make her look at him that way? David felt his cheeks heat as he realized what was happening.
The woman had come in answer to an ad. She didn’t know the name of the person who had written it, but she knew it was a man. A man who lived in Red Lodge. Miss Millie was standing and walking over to his table with the paper in her hand. The young woman watched with a puzzled expression.
Chapter Four
The man sitting at the other table seemed to cringe as the proprietor walked toward him. The plump older woman seemed very pleasant and kind, so why would he look so uncomfortable? Jillian wished she had asked the woman’s opinion in a more private place. She would hate for her business to be spread about town. Oh well, it was too late now.
“David, do you know anything about this advertisement?” The woman’s tone was incredulous. The man at the other table barely glanced at the paper before nodding. He hadn’t even read it …
Realization dawned. He didn’t need to read it, perhaps because he had written it. Jillian sat back in her chair and tried to steady her hands. What were the chances of running into the very man she had come to find within minutes of stepping off the train? Surely, providence was guiding her steps.
She stood and walked to his table. She felt his eyes follow her even though she couldn’t see them shaded as they were beneath the brim of his hat. The other woman laid the Matrimonial Times on the man’s table and eased away disappearing through a swinging door that Jillian presumed led to the kitchen.
“My name is Jillian Greene.” She took a steadying breath. “I am here to answer your ad … at least I presume it is yours.”
The man nodded and stood, removing his hat as he did so. Jillian blinked. The man was young. And handsome. She had come prepared to find a paunchy older man certainly an unattractive one. She couldn’t imagine anyone else who would have so much trouble finding a wife that he needed to advertise for one. Perhaps there was something else wrong with this man that more than made up for his looks.
“I’m David Blackstone.” A red flush stained his cheeks and he focused his gaze on the hat held tightly between his hands. “I wasn’t expecting anyone to just show up. I kind of thought I would get a letter first.” His face grew redder and he waved at a chair. “Please sit, you don’t look so good.”
Jillian lifted her chin. She could not be expected to look good after four days on a train and nothing to eat beyond a bit of tea and toast. Nothing else stayed down. She had hoped to rent a room at least long enough to tidy up. Still, there was no help for it.
“It was a long journey.” She lowered herself into the indicated chair. “I didn’t write because there was no time. Yours was the only advertisement that interested me so I came straight away. Is that a problem?”
“No, I just wasn’t prepared ….” David sat back down. His eyes flashed to meet hers for a second before flinching away. Not long enough for her to judge the color other than the fact that they were dark. He raked a hand through the matted curls that were in need of a trim. “I was going to take my time and read several letters before I made my choice.”
Jillian nodded and tried to keep the frown from her face. She hadn’t thought about rivals for the position. “I understand. I can tell you what I would have written in a letter.” She paused, “How many letters have you received so far?”
David shrugged wide shoulders and looked at her again. His eyes were blue, a dark and stormy blue. “None. I had about given up hope.”
The tension drained from her shoulders. Maybe this would work after all.
* * *
A widow. David hadn’t considered that possibility. And pregnant. His gaze slid to her waist before jerking away. He had no business looking at her like that. She didn’t look pregnant, but then he had no idea what that looked like in humans. With horses and cattle, he could tell within weeks of breeding, but women were a whole other world. The woman, Jillian, had no family and claimed that her late husband’s family wanted nothing to do with her or the child. What kind of family threw out one of its members?
He shook his head once, but stopped when he saw her long thin fingers
plucking at a stray thread on her skirts. The woman seemed calm, but those restless fingers gave away her anxiety. Even as he watched, her narrow hands stilled and lay folded in her lap.
She was as nervous as he was. Somehow that knowledge helped. David sat back and sighed. “You should know I really had no idea of getting married. My former housekeeper up and left me, marrying some poor farmer trying to scratch a living out of the ground. I mostly want someone who will fix meals and keep my house in order. I don’t have enough income yet to afford to hire anyone, so I’m out riding the range most of the time, checking for strays and such.”
The clatter coming from the kitchen brought Millie’s words of advice back to him, a girl needs love and affection, no matter what she looks like.’ What did he know of love and affection? Life out here was hard and often dangerous. Most days it was all he could do to keep body and soul together, there was little time or energy left for the softer emotions.
David lifted his gaze to Jillian’s face. The dark circles under her eyes and the hollows under her cheeks emphasized the pallor of her skin but none of that disguised the fact that she was a very beautiful woman. Surely she had better prospects than hitching herself to a struggling rancher. “I can’t offer you much. I’m not a rich man and the life on a ranch is hard there’s no time out here for poetry or romance.”
“I assure you, sir, I have no interest in either one.” Jillian’s eyes went hard. “I won’t claim that I mourn my husband, for all he was full of poetry and romance while he was courting me. I soon learned how much those things mean. All I am looking for is a safe refuge where I can raise my child in peace.”
David nodded then stood and offered his hand to her. “Well peace is one thing there is plenty of out here. I think we have a deal.”
The woman sat and looked at his hand for a moment that seemed to stretch forever. David cursed himself. Shaking hands was for business deals, not for marriage proposals, but blast it; this wasn’t any kind of a love match. It was a business deal, of a sort. He was about to put his hand down when Jillian placed her small hand in his and stood beside him. She lifted her gaze to meet his. David found himself staring at those twin pools of trepidation and wishing he knew how to ease her distress.
Chapter Five
The sun was heading toward the horizon as Jillian followed her new husband down the narrow path. Part of her was still in shock to find herself married to a man she had known only a few hours. Millie had offered them a room in her hotel free of charge for the first night, but Jillian had demurred. The woman seemed to think there was something romantic in their quick wedding.
Jillian had been honest when she told David that she didn’t need romance. In the bit of conversation they had shared, he seemed to be honest and undemanding. His concern for his ranch indicated that he was hard working and if he wasn’t particularly well off, he wasn’t likely to let them starve. Millie had been full of praise for the man when she helped Jillian freshen up before the ceremony.
“Are you sure you want to go all the way to the ranch tonight?” David turned in his saddle as the pathway leveled out. He waited until her horse drew level with his. “We won’t get there until rather late.”
“I’m sure.” Jillian eased herself in the saddle. It had been a long time since she had ridden this much. But it was worth it to finally get somewhere she felt safe. “I am done with traveling. I want to be somewhere I can call home.” She adjusted her hat as an excuse to avoid the question in his eyes. He was probably trying to figure out how a place she had never seen could be home.
There was so much they didn’t know about each other.
The preacher’s words haunted her, do you promise to love, honor, and cherish ‘til death do you part. How did they dare make such a promise to a total stranger? But it was too late now, her path was set and she would do her best to make it work. For the baby’s sake, she had to. Her child would have the love and welcome Jillian had always longed for. She would cook and clean for the man who rode beside her, but her love would be reserved for the child she carried.
Hours later, Jillian was regretting the decision to leave the hotel. David had stopped beside a stream to water the horses and eat a cold dinner, but that seemed long ago. Every muscle in her body ached and parts of her felt rubbed raw. It was all she could do to stay in the saddle and trust her horse to carry her. The sun had set long ago and the blackness of the surrounding night seemed determined to swallow her whole.
A wave of dizziness consumed her and she felt herself sliding. She tried to tighten her grip on the reins, but her body refused to obey. The blanket of stars above her spun as a strong arm caught her around the waist and lifted her clear of the saddle. David had pulled her onto his lap and held her in place with one arm. The intimacy of the position made her cheeks heat.
“I’m fine, just lightheaded for a moment.” Jillian murmured against the hard chest under her cheek. “I can ride.” She struggled to sit up but he held her still.
“It has been a long and trying day. I should have insisted you stay and rest before coming out, or hired a wagon.” The deep voice rumbled under her ear. “I haven’t started out caring for you very well. We could stop, if you like. The ranch is only a little farther.”
Jillian shook her head. She tried to speak, but couldn’t seem to marshal her thoughts. She was so very tired. David’s heart beat a steady rhythm under her ear. Warmth seemed to radiate from him. She hadn’t even recognized the cold until his presence banished the chill. He felt so strong, so solid. Her husband.
Jillian relaxed against his chest and let sleep take her. For the first time in her memory, she felt safe.
* * *
David guided the horse toward the house as he tried not to disturb the woman in his arms. At first, he had berated himself for letting her attempt the long ride when she was so obviously tired, but at some point in the last couple of hours, he had come to enjoy holding her. She was a comfortable weight against his chest.
Stopping obediently beside the porch, the gelding didn’t flinch when David swung his leg over the horse’s neck, gripped his burden as tightly as he dared, and dropped awkwardly to the ground. Jillian shifted in his arms and sighed. The poor girl must be at the edge of exhaustion to sleep so soundly.
Kicking the door open, David carried her across the threshold and frowned. Now that he had her here, what was he going to do with her? The only light came from a stray moonbeam shining through a dingy window but it was enough to remind him what was there.
Random tools and dirty clothes cluttered the room and the table was buried under the leather straps of a harness he was attempting to repair. There was a small room off the kitchen where his former housekeeper had slept, but that was even worse than this room. The only spots clear of debris were his bed and a single chair beside the fireplace.
David made his way to the bed, biting back a curse as he stumbled over a discarded boot in the middle of the floor. He laid Jillian gently on the tangled blankets and stared down at the pale oval of her face. He should have washed them before he left for town, or at least made the bed. Of course, he had no idea he would be coming back with a bride, but there was no excuse. His mother would be horrified if she could see him now.
Well, there was no help for it now. Shrugging aside his discomfort, he moved to the fireplace and rekindled the fire. It had been a long day and fatigue pulled at his muscles. How nice it would be to stretch out on his bed and fade into sleep. A huge yawn made his jaw creak. Jillian was sound asleep. She hadn’t moved even when he laid her down. Maybe she wouldn’t notice if he stretched out beside her.
Completely innocent, of course. They were married, but it was an arrangement of convenience. There had been no mention of normal marital activities. David shifted uncomfortably. He hadn’t even thought about sleeping arrangements. Jillian would probably want her own room and certainly her own bed, but somehow the tiny room off the kitchen didn’t seem to fit the bill. He would come up with something.
The warm glow of the fireplace gilded Jillian’s hair and touched the circles under her eyes. She was fully dressed and twisted in what looked to be an uncomfortable position. The bulge of her pregnancy was more pronounced with her skirts caught under her. She would be sore in the morning if he left her like that.
Shoving himself from the comfort of the chair, David went to her and drank in her fragile beauty. How had he been so lucky, so blessed, to have such a woman answer his ad? He had told her that he wasn’t interested in love, but perhaps he had been wrong.
Bending over, David removed Jillian’s hat. His fingers, so good at repairing leather and roping cattle, felt clumsy and awkward as he fumbled for the pin holding the hat to her silky hair. Her boots were easier, although the tiny buttons resisted his efforts at first. That done, David took a deep breath and tried to move her into a more comfortable position. His face heated as his callused hands snagged on the stockings that covered her legs.
He had never touched a woman so intimately. There was just one more thing to do. David swallowed hard and leaned over one more time. The high neck of her dress was snug against her throat. With trembling hands, he unfastened the top three buttons. Her skin was so soft David was sure he would bruise it with his ham-fisted touch. A soft sigh escaped Jillian’s lips as she settled deeper into sleep.
Covering her with a spare blanket, David retreated to his chair. As tired as he was, he doubted he could sleep. It wasn’t the discomfort of the chair that kept him from slumber. No, it was his thoughts that kept him awake.
He had a wife, and that changed everything.
Chapter Six
Jillian woke with a start. Where was she? A coarse woolen blanket covered her from the neck down and the stale smell of unwashed sheets assaulted her nose. Bright morning sunlight streamed in through a window and seemed to reproach her for not being awake to greet it earlier.
[2016] Alone and Pregnant Page 2
