The British salesman chuckled and looked out the window, and the mother eyed her warily.
“Do you know anything about this man and his daughter?” She asked suspiciously.
“I know that he is looking for someone to love, and to love him and his daughter in return.”
Amy Anne was starting to feel as though she were speaking with one of her sisters. The way this woman was looking at her reminded her of the way Katherine looked at her whenever she asked her a question.
“I just hope you know what you’re doing. I can’t imagine if I were a child that had lost my mother that I would want some stranger to come through the mail to be my new mother. I wouldn’t care if that’s what my daddy said or not.” She bounced the baby rather roughly on her knee, and he grunted in tune with her bouncing.
“Well, you see… I was an orphan, and I never felt quite like I belonged in the family that adopted me. They were very kind to me, mind you, but I just never thought that I was a good fit for them. Maybe it was because they already had other daughters and had taken me in, but I just never thought I belonged.”
“If they had other daughters… if you don’t mind my asking… why did they take you in?” The salesman butted in, and the mother gave him a sharp look.
“My parents knew them I guess. I don’t know. I just know that I want to be there for this little girl, and to belong. If I could fit into this family, I know I’ll find my place, and I’ll finally be happy.” Amy Anne looked down at her lap as she spoke, and she heard a sigh from the woman that sat across from her.
She looked up to see the woman shaking her head.
“Oh honey,” she said in a condescending tone, “you aren’t going to belong there any more than you belong in a casino. You see, that little girl is going to want her mother, and that man… he’s just looking to get his wife back. As soon as they see you aren’t her, you’ll be as odd as a fox in a henhouse.”
At this, the salesman laughed uproariously, then changed the subject. He began chatting about the weather and his plans for California, but Amy Anne wasn’t listening. She was looking out the window, watching the grass whisk by.
She tried not to let what the woman said get to her, but it was hard not to. She never felt like she belonged in her last home, and this was her chance to get out of that. But what if that woman was right?
What if she didn’t belong anywhere?
Chapter 6 – “Life is a Lonely Thing”
Jason nervously pulled the brush through Mary’s hair.
“Ouch Papa! You’re hurting me!” She cried out, pulling her head away from the brush and putting both her hands over her head.
“Well, if you would brush out your hair before you go to bed, it wouldn’t get all snarled up like this.” He tried to get another brush through her hair, but she jumped off the chair and began running around the table.
“What’s the surprise Papa? Tell me!” She ran into him, wrapping her arms around his legs and looking up at his face.
“I told you, I’ll show you when we get to town. Now, I have to go put on a better shirt, then we can go.”
Mary squealed with delight and ran outside. Jason watched her run around the yard a few times before she settled into her swing.
I sure hope she’s ready for this.
“I still can’t see anything Papa! Lift me up!” Mary was pulling on his hand, eagerly looking through all the legs and around all the skirts that crowded the platform.
“All right, all right! Come here.”
Jason hoisted her onto his shoulders, and she laughed as she drummed on his hat.
“I see it! There it is!” A little boy shouted as he pointed to the east. They could see the dust of the stagecoach rising in the distance, signaling that it was about to come into sight.
The stagecoach didn’t frequent this area as much as they wanted it to, so when it did come, there was always a great gathering waiting for it. People were all waiting for loved ones, friends, and packages to come in. Some were eagerly waiting for parts and tools, others waited for things that could only be ordered from more settled areas.
A lot of the men were gathered to hear the news of things that were taking place outside, but Jason and Mary were there waiting for someone special.
When the stagecoach finally came to a stop, Mary bounced up and down on his shoulders.
“It’s here! It’s here! What did it bring me?” She sang as she continued to bounce.
“Hold on and you’ll see.” Jason bent down and put her on the ground, then grabbed a hold of her hand. He took of his hat with his other hand, and waved as the door to the coach opened. There were several people that came out of the coach that he didn’t recognize, then finally Amy appeared.
She had sent him a description of herself in her final letter to him, so he knew just whom he was looking for. Amy, on the other hand, was only looking for a tall man with brown hair and a little girl. It wasn’t hard for her to find him as he was calling her name and waving his hat in the air.
Their meeting was quiet, and somewhat awkward. Mary felt shy and hid behind her father, wondering who this lady was. Amy Anne smiled at her, and tried to say hi, but Mary refused to look up at her.
“She’s a little shy at first, but don’t worry, as soon as she warms up to you, you won’t be able to keep her quiet. Shall we?”
He held his arm out to her, and picked up her bag with his free hand.
“Papa! Hold me Papa!” Mary wailed.
“I can’t Mary, I-“
“No, it’s all right, let me.” Amy let go of his arm and picked up her bags. Jason apologized once again and picked up Mary. They walked to the general store, where Jason introduced Amy Anne to his brother Jack, and asked Mary to wait with Jack while he and Amy ran an errand.
“You mean you didn’t tell her?” Amy Anne asked in amazement when they were back on the street.
“I figured she would warm up to it more once it was all happening rather than wait for it.” Jason smiled at her, and said, “You’re even prettier than I thought you would be.”
Amy Anne blushed, and put her hand in the crook of his arm. She wasn’t sure if this was a good idea, but there was something inside of her prompting her to go through with it.
Their wedding was short and sweet at the little church, a few of Jason’s friends were there to support them, and all welcomed Amy Anne graciously. When they were finished, they went back to pick up Mary.
“I don’t want a new Mama! I want my Mama!” Mary was screaming in the other room.
It was late, and Amy Anne laid awake in her bed, listening to Jason trying to explain what was happening to Mary. Amy didn’t want to get involved, but she wished she could do something. She knew what it was like to be in Mary’s place, but she also wanted Mary to accept her.
The screaming and crying went on long into the night, with Jason trying all the while to calm her down and get her to give Amy a chance. Finally, Amy could hear by Mary’s breathing in the next room that she had fallen asleep.
She heard Jason get up and walk to her door. It was closed most of the way, and he peered his head in. Amy Anne closed her eyes, pretending to also be asleep. She felt badly, not knowing what to say about the situation.
Jason was only there but a minute, before he sighed and pulled the door closed. Amy heard him walk to his own room and close the door. She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. She couldn’t help but think of what the woman in the stagecoach had told her, and she felt tears welling up in her eyes.
Amy rolled on her side and faced the wall. She didn’t feel like she belonged here, in fact, she didn’t feel like she belonged anywhere.
Life is a lonely affair indeed, she thought.
Chapter 7 – Sickness in the House
The days turned into weeks, and the strain continued. Amy Anne did what she could to make friends with Mary, but nothing seemed to help. Mary would either cry or scream at her, or she would ignore her all together.
&nbs
p; “Maybe this was a mistake.” Amy Anne said to Jason one evening.
“I don’t think it was. Like I said, she just needs a little time. She’s been through a lot for anyone, let alone a little girl. She’ll come around.” He kissed her on the forehead, and picked up the lantern.
“I’m going to go close in the animals for the night… maybe she will let you read her a story, eh?” Jason smiled and Amy Anne shrugged. He walked out the door and she felt defeated.
Amy picked up Mary’s school book and walked over to her door, knocking softly.
“Go away!” Mary shouted.
“I was just wondering if you wouldn’t mind reading me this book.” Amy asked, but Mary turned away from her.
“I can’t read!” She yelled and stomped over to her bed.
“I think you could read this book… it’s about a little red hen.”
“I said I can’t!” Mary threw her doll at the door, and Amy sighed. She was about to turn to go, when she noticed that Mary had dark circles under her eyes.
“Mary, are you feeling ok?” She asked. Mary didn’t say anything, and crossed her arms. She sat on her bed, glaring at Amy. Amy opened the door and walked into the room.
“You look like you might be sick Sweetie, let me see.”
Amy reached for Mary, but she pulled away, screaming at Amy Anne not to touch her. Amy ignored her protests, and placed her hand on Mary’s forehead.
“Oh my goodness, you’re burning up!” She picked up the blanket and wrapped it around Mary, who kicked and screamed.
A red rash all over your neck and down to your stomach, and rough skin. Oh please God no! Don’t let it be!
Amy held onto her and carried her to the door, looking for Jason. She couldn’t see well in the dark, but she could see that there was something on the ground in front of the barn.
“Jason!” Amy yelled. She hurried back into the house, and laid Mary on the bed.
“Stay here, I have to go get your pa!”
Amy ran out into the night, over to where Jason lay on the ground. She turned him over, and he groaned.
“I don’t know what happened… I suddenly felt light headed… and…”
Amy shushed him.
“Come on, I have to get you up.”
She struggled beneath his weight, but together, they were able to get him into the house. Amy Anne guided him to his room, and laid him on his bed. She put her hand to his forehead, and turned to go.
“Where are you going?” He slurred, trying to stir.
Amy shushed him and told him to lie still.
“I’m going to get the doctor. You are Mary are sick. Stay here, I’ll be back as quickly as I can!” She pulled her shawl tightly around her and headed for the barn. Within minutes she had a horse saddled and was heading for town as quickly as she could possibly go.
Mary slowly opened her eyes. Amy Anne was in her room, sponging off her forehead and neck.
“Hey, you’re awake.” She said with a smile.
“I have been praying that you would wake up soon. How are you feeling?” Amy put her hand on Mary’s forehead, and Mary closed her eyes.
“Where’s my Papa?” She asked, weakly.
“He’s in the other room, asleep. You and your Papa have been very sick for almost 2 weeks now, but the doctor says you’re doing better.”
“Is my Papa ok?” Mary asked, suddenly trying to get up. Amy Anne held her down, gently calming her.
“Your Papa is very sick Mary, but we pray to God that he will get better.”
Mary started to struggle, tears running down her cheeks.
“No no no! Don’t let my Papa die! Don’t let him die like my Mama!” She cried.
Amy Anne shushed her, and lifted her close into a hug. For the first time, Mary didn’t try to pull away, but rather she sank into Amy’s arms and sobbed.
“God hates me! He let my Mama die! I don’t want Him to let my Papa die too!” She sobbed.
Amy Anne stroked her hair, and said softly. “God doesn’t hate you, Sweetheart. He is going to take care of you.”
Mary was sobbing.
“But why did my Mama die? Why did my Papa get sick?” She was struggling to get the words out, but Amy continued to hold her.
“I don’t know why that happened, Little One, but sometimes bad things do happen. My parents were killed when I was a little girl, close to your age. I don’t know why, but I know that God still loves me, and He still takes care of me, just like He is going to take care of you.”
Mary looked up at Amy, tears still in her eyes.
“Your ma and pa died?” Her eyes were wide as she spoke, and Amy nodded.
Mary didn’t say anything, but laid her head back down on Amy Anne’s lap. For a long time Amy sat there with Mary lying on her lap, until finally, Mary spoke.
It was so soft that Amy could barely hear it, but her eyes filled with tears at the 2 little words Mary breathed.
“I’m sorry.”
Chapter 8 – Love at Last
Jason lay in bed, drifting in and out of consciousness. He didn’t need the doctor to tell him what was wrong with him, he knew what it was. This was the illness that had claimed the life of his wife, Lucinda. Scarlet Fever.
“It sneaks up on you, taking you by surprise,” the doctor had told him when his wife had fallen ill. “There’s not a lot we can do for it, but we are doing all we can.”
Now, those words flowed through his mind every chance they got. It didn’t matter how much money he had, it didn’t matter what he wanted to do with his life, it didn’t matter what he had done with his life. He was now sick, and all he could do was pray that he would get better.
Every now and then Jason would wake up and Amy would be in his room. She would be placing a cold washcloth on his forehead, or preparing a bowl of broth for him to eat. Every time she was in there, he would ask her about Mary, and every time he asked, Amy told him that she was doing a little bit better.
“I don’t know if I could go on if I lost Mary,” Jason told her as she fed him a bowl of broth. “Ever since her mother died, she has been the light of my life. I wanted to be able to give her everything, I wanted to be able to bring you into our family and make you happy, too.”
He would try to continue, but Amy would always quiet him, and tell him he needed to rest. She knew what he was trying to say, and she knew that he often forgot that he had tried to say it all before. Delirium would take over, and he would rant and rant if she let him.
Amy Anne spent her days going back and forth between the rooms, and keeping the farm running. She would do the chores and take care of the animals, then she would go inside and take care of Mary and Jason.
Amy didn’t know what she would do if she lost them. They were the closest thing she ever felt she had to a family, and the idea of losing them was crushing. Every day she would dutifully go into both of their rooms, hour after hour, morning, noon, and night.
Whether it took a day, or a year, Amy was going to do everything she could to get them well again.
Jason and Mary’s recoveries were slow. Jason got a lot worse before he got better, but Mary had a slow and steady recovery from the beginning. As soon as she was able, she helped Amy Anne with the chores around the house, and with taking care of her father.
Amy Ann was careful not to push Mary in her interest in what she was doing, but she was always careful to answer all of Mary’s questions about her and to tell her about anything from her own past.
Little by little, Mary started to spend more time with Amy. She would follow her around the house when she was home from school, and she would walk with Amy Anne to and from school. She even started going to church with Amy on Sundays.
“I think Papa would like to go to church as soon as he is able. Mama… I mean my real mama… she liked to go to church, and me and Papa used to go with her. Papa stopped when Mama died though.” The more comfortable Mary was becoming with Amy, the more of a glimpse into her past Amy was able to get.
Amy Anne didn’t ask her a lot of questions. She didn’t want Mary to feel as though she were prying, but she did always remind Mary that her mother loved her very much, and that she was glad she got to be in a part of Mary’s life, too.
Jason clucked to the horses, making them pick up their feet faster as they headed home. It was the first Sunday Jason felt well enough to be up and out of the house, and Mary begged him to join her and Amy Anne at church. Reluctantly, he agreed, and they had gone.
Amy Anne for the first time in her life felt completely comfortable sitting with Mary and Jason. Mary seemed to be completely happy to stand next to her, and to hold her hand when they were getting ready to go.
Now, she rode behind them in the wagon, standing up in the back with her hand on each of their shoulders.
“I was thinking,” Mary said, breaking the silence with her shrill little voice.
“Yes?” Jason asked, looking back over his shoulder at her.
“Amy… can I call you Ma?”
Amy Anne and Jason looked at each other, Amy put her hand over her heart, and gasped. She felt her eyes well with tears, and Jason smiled.
“I would love that,” she said.
Mary squealed and sat down in the back of the wagon, content to now look at the rocks that slid back and forth as her father drove over the bumps in the rode. Jason put both of the reins in one hand, and used his other hand to cover Amy’s.
For the first time in her life, Amy felt that she belonged. Jason and Mary, they felt like her family. She felt like she was a part of theirs, and she didn’t feel like she could ever go anywhere else.
That lonely feeling was gone for good.
Amy Anne had finally found love.
THE END.
Finding my Cowboy
Mail Order Bride
[2016] Alone and Pregnant Page 12
