‘I take it that taxi was for me?’
‘I have a date tonight, so the taxi will take you home.’ He fished some money out of his wallet and offered it to her.
The hurt that crossed her face was so vivid, he found himself turning away from her so he wouldn’t have to see it. He grabbed her bag from the back seat and passed it to her.
‘You’re such an ass.’
‘Yes I am, but you knew that from the first moment we met. Do yourself a favour and find someone worthy of your affections, but that man certainly isn’t me.’
‘We had a lovely day today and you want to throw that away because some crazy old lady mentioned our future children.’
‘We are not having children.’
‘Evidently, because I’m not letting you near me ever again.’
She snatched the wooden heart from her neck, thrust into his hand and climbed out the car just as the taxi pulled into the car park. She slipped into the other car and it took her away, leaving Ethan alone. He looked down at the fragile wooden heart in his hand that had snapped clean in two, echoing perfectly the feeling in his own chest.
*
Izzy stared at the ceiling, cocooned inside her duvet. Fang, somehow, knew she needed some comfort and had offered it to her by curling up on her chest. He was warm and soft but it did nothing to dull the pain in her heart. She didn’t want to think about losing Ethan. She had been with him for two days, how was it possible that she felt like this, as if every ounce of happiness had been sucked from her and all she had been left with was a ball of gnawing pain in her heart. Is that how all women were when Ethan dumped them for the next sexual conquest? Or were they clever enough not to fall for him? The sensible, rational side of her brain was telling her that this was for the best. That if it didn’t end now, it would end later and he would break her even more then. He wasn’t able to commit to a proper relationship, it was always just going to be about sex for him. Although he had given more of himself than she expected, he’d talked to her, spoken about his past, his thoughts and asked her lots of questions too. That was something, she supposed.
What was going to happen at work now? Seeing him every day but not being able to be with him, to touch him and kiss him was going to be torture.
There was a knock at the door and Izzy knew who it was, despite the fact that it was after one in the morning. She sighed. It was the indecisiveness of their relationship that was the worst, he wanted her but he didn’t want to want her. And now he was back, probably with some apology. Well he could stick his apology up his ass, she was fed up of being treated like this. She deserved to be with someone who wanted to be with her, without any doubt in their mind, not someone who ran screaming for the hills every time any hint of commitment was mentioned.
The knock came again, more urgent this time. She would tell him to go, it would hurt her to properly end it between them, but it was for the best.
She got out of bed and pulled on her satin robe, the material felt cool against her bare skin.
She padded across the bedroom floor and opened the front door.
‘I’m sorry,’ Ethan said, quietly.
He was dressed in the same clothes she had last seen him in, his hair was a mess and he looked an absolute state, as if he hadn’t slept in months. She wasn’t letting him in. She was stronger than that. He didn’t get to keep playing with her emotions like this and then pick her up again a few hours later.
‘Did you enjoy your date?’
‘There was no date. Emily is… a friend, there’s nothing romantic between us at all, never has been. It was all a lie. As soon as you had gone I realised what an idiot I was. I took her home, then I went home and I cried into Psycho’s fur. He wasn’t impressed.’
All words she had in her head to send him packing vanished. Her resolve not to let him in went with it.
‘You cried?’ Her voice came out like a croak.
‘Charlie had a miscarriage,’ he blurted out. ‘It was years ago but it destroyed me. It destroyed us both. Charlie was never the same after that. That lady talking about our child today, it brought up all that grief again and it scared the hell out of me. It’s hard enough for me to contemplate moving on after Charlie’s death, I never thought I would want to be in a relationship ever again, but to factor a child into the equation is terrifying. But you know what’s scarier than that? Losing you. A future without you in is not one I want to think about.’ He took a step towards her, his strong hands moving straight to her waist. ‘I need you.’
She put her hands on his chest to stop him from getting close, but she could feel his heart pounding against her fingertips.
‘I tried to stay away, for your sake. I’m bad for you in every way and I don’t want to hurt you, I really don’t. But I can’t keep away from you. It’s like an addiction and it terrifies the hell out of me, but I need you. When I’m with you, when I’m kissing you, holding hands with you, making love to you, everything is good and perfect and wonderful and as soon as I’m not with you, even for a second, it drives me mad. I can’t breathe, I can’t think, I can’t eat. You’re all I need. Let me stay with you tonight.’
‘Is it just sex? Is that all you want from me?’
‘The mind blowing, incredible sex? No, it’s not that. And I never thought I’d say that, but just being in the same room as you makes me feel that way, talking to you, walking with you by my side, it makes me feel whole. Let me lie with you tonight, I promise, I won’t even attempt to have sex with you, just let me hold you.’
Christ. There was nothing she could do to stop herself from falling in love with him. She stepped back, but the robe he had been holding tight stayed in his hand and he inadvertently pulled it open. He stared at her naked body like a starving man being offered steak. Suddenly he pounced, like a lion stalking his prey. In one swift movement, he had kicked the door closed behind him and his hands were on her, pinning her against the wall as his mouth claimed hers. His hands ran up her body, cupping her breasts and running his thumbs across her nipples. She groaned.
Oh god, his touch was like fire across her skin. All sense, all reason had gone from her brain. She wanted him like an addict wanted heroin.
‘We need to talk about this.’ It was a feeble protest, made even weaker by the fact that she was already pulling at his shirt.
‘Later.’ He fastened his mouth over her breast and slid his hand between her legs. The noise that came out of her mouth was somewhere between a gasp, a grunt and something primal and animalistic.
He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around him and as he slammed inside her, the pain in her chest went away.
*
Izzy woke to an empty bed and the early morning sunshine attempting to lighten the day. The wave of disappointment that nearly crashed through her that he’d gone, vanished a second after it started to build. He was still here. There was something about his presence that filled her house and even though he was silent, she knew he was there somewhere.
She slipped from the bed and found him in the kitchen, staring out over the hills that bordered the back of her house. He was stark naked. There was no finer sight than Ethan Chase standing naked in her kitchen. His bum was tight, muscular, as was every inch of him. His back rippled with muscles, his broad shoulders were tensed, bunched. He was angry. She stepped closer to him, sliding her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his broad back. He took her hands and pulled her embrace tighter around him, visibly relaxing at her touch.
‘I’m going to fuck it up baby.’
‘What?’
‘Us. This. I fuck up everything I touch. Me and you will be no different. I’ll hurt you, I’ll drive you away. I’ll say something, do something that will be beyond repair and you’ll hate me for it.’
‘I don’t think that’s possible.’
He turned to face her, cupping her face in his hands, but she couldn’t help feeling his hardness as it pressed against her. She wondered idly if he walked around perma
nently aroused.
He kissed her sweetly on the head. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘For what?’
‘For whatever it is I do that pushes you away. I don’t ever want to hurt you but I will. It’s in my nature to fuck everything up. The more I want something, the harder I work at it, the bigger the fall. Ours will be the biggest fuck up of all. You’d be better off leaving me now.’
‘I’m not going anywhere.’
He smiled, sadly. ‘I thought you’d say that. Let me take you back to bed and make love to you.”
‘I thought Ethan Chase doesn’t make love.’
‘I’ve made love to you every single time we’ve been together, you know that.’
She did. It meant something to him that was so much more than just sex.
He kissed her briefly and without taking his mouth from hers, he scooped her up and carried her back to bed. He lay next to her, covering her body with soft kisses, before he slowly, beautifully made love to her.
*
Izzy stirred as Ethan shifted from her side. She cleared her eyes of sleep and stared up at him.
‘We have to go to work baby, we have a pick up today.’
She nodded and took his hand as he offered it out to her. He pulled her gently towards the shower. He turned it on and squeezed himself into the cubicle with her. But instead of trying to have sex with her, he just washed her, running soapy hands all over her skin. And in many ways that was as hot as making love to him, the tender way he looked at her as he did it. Something unspoken had passed between them in their relationship. She knew now they were heading down the same path at least. She meant something to him. And although there was no official label to their relationship, it was more than just sex.
They got dressed, passing each other little looks and got in Ethan’s car, immediately he took her hand and entwined his fingers with hers. They stopped to pick up Psycho on the way, who was obviously very excited about going out in the car and then they drove to work.
‘I need to drop you at the bottom of the drive, the boys will probably already be there.’
‘How long are we keeping this a secret?’
‘Is it wrong that I want to keep it between us a little bit longer?’
‘No, if Kyle’s reaction to us having sex the other day was anything to go by, it’s probably best that we do keep it quiet.’
Izzy pulled her gloves and hat on as Ethan pulled over to let her out. He leaned over and kissed her deeply, and she had to get out before it turned into something more right there on the roadside.
‘Put the kettle on, I’ll see you in five minutes.’
She got out the car and with a little wave from Ethan, he drove off.
But a minute later, Gizmo pulled up in the van. Kyle swung open the side door and helped her in. Jim was there, glaring at her but she chose to ignore him.
‘Was that Ethan that I saw driving up here?’ Kyle asked as he closed the door behind her.
‘Er yes.’
‘And he didn’t pull over and offer you a lift. He’s such an arse.’
‘I don’t think he saw me.’
‘Probably not, he’s in his own little world at the moment.’
Izzy smiled to herself.
‘You like him don’t you?’ Kyle said, quietly as he leaned across to talk to her. Izzy eyed Jim at the back of the van who was busy reading his paper.
‘No, I erm…’
‘It’s ok, I get it, the women are falling over themselves to have one night with the great Ethan Chase. Though I never figured you’d be one of them. But you shouldn’t get your hopes up. He’s met someone and I think he really likes her.’
Izzy cleared her throat. ‘What makes you say that?’
‘He’s painting again. I’ve seen him in the studio at the back of his garden for the last two days. He hasn’t been in there since Charlie died, he hasn’t painted anything since she died. But I watched him through the windows yesterday morning, painting some woman and I could see how much he was enjoying it. And two nights the woman has been at his house, he never brings women back to his house. Never. She wasn’t there last night, but neither was he, so I guess he spent the night with her. Whoever she is she’s got to be pretty special.’
The van pulled up outside the office and Izzy stepped out, trying to keep the smile off her face. She walked in and Ethan glanced up from the computer with a big grin on his face.
‘You drove past me you ass, you could have picked me up. It’s freezing out there.’
Ethan’s smile fell from his face in confusion. Psycho leapt up from his place on the floor to greet Izzy as if he hadn’t seen her in months, let alone a few minutes.
‘Fortunately, Gizmo and the boys saw me and they stopped to give me a lift.’
Realisation that she wasn’t alone dawned on his face just as Kyle and Gizmo walked in behind her.
‘It’s your responsibility to get yourself to work, not mine,’ Ethan snapped.
‘We should give Izzy a lift,’ Gizmo said as he moved into the kitchen. ‘Her house is on the way from yours to work, it makes sense to pick her up, especially in this weather.’
Ethan’s mouth fell open as he tried to think of an excuse. Of course, she wasn’t likely to be at her own house when they came to pick her up and if she was, Ethan was likely to be with her. But Ethan had nothing safe he could say.
‘We’ll pick you up Monday then,’ Kyle said, clearly seeing that it was winding Ethan up, but having no idea of the reason behind Ethan’s anger over this new turn of events.
Jim glared at Izzy as he walked reluctantly into the office. She saw that Ethan had spotted the glare too, his eyes narrowed and his fists clenched on the desk. He stood up to let Izzy sit down and positioned himself next to her like a bodyguard. She wanted to tell him to stand down, but she obviously couldn’t do that without drawing attention to it. Jim seemed blissfully unaware of the evil looks coming from Ethan.
‘I saw Dan yesterday,’ Kyle said, scrolling through his phone. ‘He seemed very interested in you Ethan and who you were seeing. He really has got a fixation on you since Miranda left him. He seemed to think that something was going on between you and Izzy, but I soon put him straight on that.’
‘What did you say?’ Ethan switched his attention to his brother.
‘That Izzy is absolutely not your type, that you always go for tall, busty blondes, that you would categorically never get involved with anyone at work and that you’re seeing someone.’
‘What do you mean, I’m seeing someone?’
‘Look, I’m your brother, I live next door. It’s hard for you to hide anything from me. I’m not going to pry and ask you questions. I figure it’s got to be hard enough for you as it is without us sticking our oar in. I’m happy for you, that’s all.’
Izzy could see Ethan was about to launch into a huge denial but was clearly struggling with the sweet sentiment from his little brother and how to deal with that. She decided to change the subject slightly.
‘I saw Dan yesterday too.’
‘When, where?’ Ethan gave her his fullest attention, his head whipping around so fast he must have got whiplash.
‘Here, he was here yesterday morning, before you came at lunchtime.’
‘What did he want?’
‘He’s just upset about Miranda and that now she’s left him for you, you don’t even want her. He reckons something went on between you two, that she wouldn’t have left him just because you grabbed her when you kidnapped her.’
‘Nothing happened between us.’ Ethan was vehement.
‘I know. But he may need some persuading.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I didn’t get a chance. You were… quite distracted when you arrived.’
She suppressed a smile at the sudden blush that crept across his face.
‘I don’t trust him, he’s unhinged.’
‘What is he going to do, he might be angry but I can’t see him trying anything.’<
br />
‘What’s the big deal,’ Jim broke his silence.
‘He might hurt Izzy,’ Ethan seethed.
Jim shrugged. It was a tiny movement and probably an unconscious one but Ethan took a step towards him before Izzy leapt up and held him back.
He looked down at her, emotions swirling in his eyes but with her hands on his chest he visibly calmed down.
Izzy sat down again when she knew Ethan wasn’t going to throw Jim through a wall, but there was a silence that hung over the room now. She could see Kyle staring at the two of them, pennies dropping in his mind.
Gizmo brought teas and coffees out from the kitchen, clearly having no idea that something had happened whilst he was in the other room.
‘Kyle, tell them your idea,’ Gizmo said, proudly dishing out mugs to everyone.
‘I erm…’ Kyle tried to recover himself, whilst Jim was glaring at both Ethan and Izzy now. ‘I thought we could make a short film, showing exactly what happens on one of our kidnaps. So that if anyone has any doubts or misgivings about our service they can see for themselves.’
‘That’s a great idea,’ Izzy said, trying to distract Ethan and Jim from their staring contest. ‘Ethan, what do you think?’
Ethan dragged his eyes from Jim to focus on her. ‘It’s a good idea, but I can’t see any of our clients being willing to be filmed.’
‘We can stage it, Izzy can be the client, one of us could be the husband. I’ll film it and I’ve got some great editing software, we can make it look really professional,’ Kyle said, enthusiastically.
‘That sounds brilliant, we have free days on Tuesday and Wednesday next week, we could film it then.’
‘Look, why don’t I get some breakfast and we can talk about it properly over a bacon sandwich, come up with a plan for what we want and where we can film certain shots,’ Kyle said.
‘Good idea, here, let me get some money from petty cash,’ Izzy said.
‘Oh that’s what I wanted to talk to you guys about, as we’re all here.’ Ethan said, staring at Jim as he spoke. ‘Has anyone borrowed money from petty cash recently, or taken it to pay for petrol or something?’
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