“You look like you could use this,” a voice said behind him.
He turned toward the sound and saw Rita standing in the shadows. She held out a plastic glass of beer.
“Thanks. Why aren’t you dancing?”
“No one I wanted to dance with asked me.”
He mulled that over for a second, wondering if it was an invitation. By the time he figured it might be, the song was half over and they couldn’t have made it inside in time. Besides, they were both holding drinks. So instead, he led her to the bench pressed up against the lodge.
She sank down and sighed. “You’re smart to be out here. This is better than dancing. My feet are sore. I’m not used to wearing high heels.” She slipped off her pumps and wiggled her toes.
Brady clenched his teeth to hold back the offer to rub her feet. It wouldn’t be a good idea. Aside from the fact that it would be inappropriate, he doubted he could touch any part of her without getting aroused.
She leaned back into the far corner of the bench, angling her body toward him. Light spilled out of the window, illuminating her features. Long, dark curls tumbled down her shoulders and back. Her mouth tilted up at the corners, color stained her cheeks. She was lovely and he wanted her. That and a buck would buy him a cup of coffee.
“So, Brady Jones, how come you’re not married?”
He raised his eyebrows.
She laughed. “I know, I know. Talk about an unsubtle opening. However, I would like to point out that you’re the one who is always bringing up the difference in our ages. So what I want to know is how an old man of thirty-three has managed to avoid the delights of matrimony? Why don’t you have a passel of kids running around and making trouble? Where is Ms. Right?”
He angled toward her and rested his ankle on his opposite knee. “I want a wife and a family, but it hasn’t worked out.”
“I suppose it’s tough to meet women on the ranch,” she said. “You should train Princess to collect single ladies instead of cats. Think how convenient that would be. You could have your pick of the litter, so to speak.”
He chuckled. “It’s not that simple. I met a lot of women on the rodeo circuit.”
“Were you wild?”
“I had my moments,” he admitted. “Not that many, but a few.”
“Not one of these buckle bunnies appealed?”
“Where’d you hear that term?”
She batted her eyelashes at him. “I get around. So, you didn’t like any of them?”
“I don’t know. I guess not. My parents are very happy together. They get mad just like any other married couple, but they also still love each other. When I was growing up, I knew their relationship was a priority to them. That was very comforting in a time when a lot of my friends’ parents were getting divorced. The problem is, I don’t want to settle for anything less.”
She took a sip of her drink. “They sound like a tough act to follow.”
“Exactly. I came close a couple of times.” He set his beer on the ground. “A few years ago a woman came to town. Alicia. She drove a bright red convertible. Not exactly what we’re used to around here.”
“This is more truck country.”
“Yeah. She’d taken the summer off to drive across the country. She wanted to learn how to ride a horse, so she came out to the ranch.” Brady still remembered the first time he’d seen her, all blond hair and blue eyes, with a smile bright enough to blind a man.
“Pretty?” Rita asked.
“Beautiful, like a model.”
“Figures,” she muttered, then looked at him. “What happened?”
“I fell hard and fast, without bothering to look at what I was doing. She didn’t fit in with the ranch at all, but I convinced myself it would work out. She hated the dirt, the dust, even the horses. She wasn’t much of a rider. But I was in love for the first time in my life and I refused to face the truth.” He thought back to that time, to his parents’ worried faces. They’d tried to warn him about Alicia, but when he wouldn’t listen, they’d left him alone to make his own mistakes.
“She never talked about her past,” he continued. “That should have been my first clue. There were lots of secrets she kept. Once she disappeared for a couple of days and wouldn’t say where she’d been, but I didn’t want to pay attention to the signs. In my mind, we were meant for each other, just like my folks. I proposed and she accepted.”
“You married her?”
Something about Rita’s voice didn’t sound right, but when he looked at her, he couldn’t see anything odd in her expression.
“Not exactly. We planned a quick wedding, nothing fancy. My parents weren’t happy, but they didn’t argue with me. Mom took care of all the details.”
He leaned back against the bench. Those days were so clear to him. The conversations he’d had with Alicia, the watchful concern in his parents’ eyes. Everyone had guessed but him. Everyone had tried to warn him but he wouldn’t have any part of it. He wanted Alicia and he refused to listen to reason.
“What happened?”
“What everyone but me expected. She never showed up for the wedding. She left me standing at the altar, waiting like a fool. Eventually some kid brought a note she’d left. She told me she’d had a great summer, that she’d enjoyed her time with me. Apparently, the whole point of her trip was to make her rich boyfriend jealous. It had taken a while, but the trip had worked. Two days before our wedding, he’d flown out to propose and had taken her back with him. She said she hoped I understood and wished her happiness.” He heard the bitterness in his voice. “I wished her a lot of things, but happiness wasn’t one of them.”
After all this time, he couldn’t let that go. He no longer hated Alicia or blamed himself. He understood what had happened. He’d been so determined to find something like his parents’ relationship that he’d thought he’d found a treasure where there was only fool’s gold. He didn’t hate her or himself, but he was disappointed that he’d chosen so poorly. The bitterness came, not from what he’d lost, but from what he’d never had.
“What I resent the most is that she didn’t have the courage to tell me to my face,” he said. “She ran out on me like some kid runs away from home after breaking a lamp. The mistake was mine for thinking her an adult capable of acting responsibly.”
He glanced at Rita. She stared at him openmouthed. Her stunned expression made him feel foolish. Had he exposed too much of his past?
Before either of them could say anything, McGregor stuck his head out the window. “I thought I saw you two sittin’ out here in the dark. What’s wrong with you both? There’s fine music playin’ and dancin’ to be done. Talk tomorrow when the dancin’ is finished.”
When Brady didn’t move, McGregor snorted. “What are you waitin’ for, boy? Ask the lady to dance.”
Brady stood up and held out his hand. Even as Rita took it, he felt the tension in her body. She didn’t want to dance with him. She was obviously disgusted by his story. He swallowed, feeling about as comfortable as a snake in a rocking chair store. Dammit, why hadn’t he kept his sorry past to himself?
They moved into the lodge and joined the circling crowd. Rita held herself stiffly in his arms. He contrasted her posture with what had happened the last time she’d danced, when she’d melted against him.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said. “That I was a fool.”
She raised her head and looked at him. Pain filled her eyes, darkening blue irises nearly to black. She shook her head. “Brady, you have no idea what I’m thinking. Trust me.”
Compassion and something else vibrated in her voice. Something that touched him down in his heart.
“Rita?”
She pressed her lips together. “If you knew how I hated that name.”
“What name?”
“Never mind. Brady, I think you’re very wonderful. Alicia was obviously stupid and self-centered and greedy. She had no idea what she’d found in you. If she’d known, she would never have
gone back to her boyfriend, no matter how rich he is. I’m sure she hates herself every day, and deeply regrets what happened.”
“I doubt that.”
“Then, you’re wrong.” She tugged on his hand until they moved out of the path of the other dancers and were standing to the side. “You’re a very special person. I admire you so much. You’re a good man and you deserve a unique woman. I know you’ll find h-her.”
Her voice broke on the last word. She shrugged helplessly, then turned and ran outside.
Randi stumbled into the darkness and pressed her palm to her stomach. Taking deep breaths wasn’t helping enough. She was going to throw up.
What had happened? How could this be true? Dear God, please let him be lying. Brady couldn’t have been left at the altar. It was too unbelievable. It was too ironic.
She sucked in air and tried to calm herself. Her heart thundered in her chest, her legs were shaking, her throat tightened as she fought tears.
It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair at all.
She turned around, trying to figure out where she was, needing to find out how to get away. She saw someone walking toward the parked cars. She peered, trying to place the familiar stride.
“Ty?”
The man paused.
She rushed toward him. “Ty, are you going back to the ranch? Can I have a ride?”
He blended with the darkness. There was something forbidding about his size and strength, but right now she would have accepted a ride from the devil himself.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “You sound upset.”
“Nothing’s wrong. Okay, I am upset, but it’s not important. It’s just—” She broke off and realized tears blurred her vision. She swore under her breath. “I’m fine. Can you please take me home with you?”
“Sure. The truck’s this way.”
She followed him to the pickup, then climbed into the passenger seat. Ty didn’t speak and she was grateful. In a matter of minutes, they were on the main highway, heading back to the ranch.
Thoughts swirled through her head. Of all the crimes for Alicia to commit. Why couldn’t she have been unfaithful, or been married, or secretly a man? Why did she have to run out on her own wedding? No wonder Tex had been concerned about Brady being used. That’s exactly what Alicia had done.
The pain made it hard to breathe. As Randi attempted to draw air into her lungs, she found herself slamming directly into the truth. There was only one reason why Alicia’s duplicity bothered her so much—only one reason why she raged against the unfairness of the situation. Because it made it impossible for her to explain about her past.
She hadn’t realized how much she’d come to care about Brady, how much she’d wanted to be with him, until that chance was ripped away.
There would be no understanding, no miracle. When Brady found out the truth, he would despise her. He would see her exactly like the woman who had betrayed him.
She leaned her head against the cool window and fought the tears. This wasn’t a situation she could bargain her way out of. She couldn’t call Noah and have him make it right. She’d created a problem all by herself, and she had no one but herself to blame.
Oh, sure, she could say those men with guns were the reason she had abandoned Hal, but it wasn’t true. She’d decided to run before she’d seen the men. Once again, she’d chosen the easiest way out. Instead of facing the consequences of her actions, she’d acted irresponsibly. This time, she was going to get stuck paying the price for the rest of her life. She’d met a man she respected and liked and admired—maybe even loved. A man she’d found herself dreaming about. A man she’d just lost as surely as if she’d betrayed him with his best friend.
It wasn’t until the silence surrounded her that she realized they’d returned to the ranch and were parked behind the bunkhouse. She glanced around at the familiar structure, the outline of the trees against the star-filled sky, and knew she would miss this place.
“Wanna talk about it?” Ty asked.
“Thanks for asking, but it won’t help.”
“I bet Brady could fix it.”
Randi made a sound that was half a burst of laughter, half a sob, then covered her mouth. “He’s a major part of the problem,” she mumbled, then dropped her arm to her side. “I wish—” She shook her head. What was there to wish for?
Ty leaned back in his seat. “The nights get real long out here. If we were a different sort of people, we could use each other to forget.”
Despite the pain in her heart and the tears on her cheeks, she smiled. “That’s the nicest invitation I’ve had in a long time. Thank you.”
He gave her a wry smile. “I wasn’t kidding.”
“Me, either. I wish I could take you up on it. Life would be a whole lot less complicated. But if I were the kind of woman who could forget my troubles in your bed, I wouldn’t be suffering right now. And if you were the kind of man to help me do that, you wouldn’t still be missing Denise.”
He flinched. “Well said. So here we are. A sorry collection of misfits with nowhere else to go. What does that say about us?”
“We all need lots of time in expensive psychological therapy.”
He chuckled. “Probably.” He turned toward her. “I’m willing to listen if you want to talk about it.”
His offer touched her. Mostly because she knew how he avoided getting involved. “Thank you. Talking won’t help and I’ll start to cry, then you’ll be uncomfortable.”
“I could handle it.”
“I don’t think I could. But you’re not the crying type, so if you want to talk about her—”
“No,” he said quickly, cutting her off.
“I didn’t think so.”
They sat in silence. Randi told herself she should go inside, but she wasn’t ready to be alone. What had started out as the perfect evening had turned into a nightmare.
“Do you love him?” Ty asked.
She knew the “him” in the question was Brady. “Has it been that obvious?”
“No. I’ve noticed a couple of things, but I wouldn’t have put them together if you hadn’t said he was your problem. Don’t worry—no one’s talking about you. At least not that way.”
“I’m not sure I want to know how I’m being talked about.”
“You’re avoiding the question.”
“I know.” She bit her lower lip. “I’m not sure I know what love is. I haven’t ever really loved anyone. At least not romantically. I care about him. I like him and respect him.” She wanted him, but she didn’t tell the cowboy that. He’d probably guessed it on his own. “Did you love her?”
Ty reached forward and clasped the steering wheel. His grip tightened until the tendons in his hands stood out in stark relief. “I lost her.”
“How?”
“I was a fool.”
His pain filled the cab, making her tremble. Compassion joined her own suffering. As he’d said, they were a sorry collection of misfits, belonging nowhere.
She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “‘Night, Ty. Thanks for the ride.”
Before she could straighten, he cupped her face and stared into her eyes. For the first time, the shutters were down and she saw into the blackness of his soul. The open wounds there startled her. Who was the woman he’d lost? How had he survived this long without her? Is that what love did to a person? She wasn’t sure she could handle that.
Ty stroked her skin with his thumb. “I hope you aren’t offended, but you have no idea how much I wish you were someone else.”
She blinked quickly, but couldn’t hold back the tears. One slipped down her face. “I know what you mean.” She stepped out of the cab and headed for the house.
Once there, she walked from dark room to dark room. Moonlight caused the furniture to cast faint shadows. She imagined she could hear voices from the past, laughter and happy conversations. This family loved so well, the emotion lingered long after the people were gone.
His presenc
e surrounded her, nearly as tangible as his touch had been. She was wishing for the moon, yet wishes and dreams were all she had left. Fantasies about a future that could never be.
Why was she surprised? She’d never planned to make this her permanent home. She’d always known she was moving on. But that had been her choice. Now it wasn’t anymore. Now she had to leave before Brady found out the truth. She would rather he thought she simply didn’t care or that she wanted to move on, than for him to suspect her feelings, or to later learn what she’d done and despise her.
Chapter Eleven
The bald man stared at the ringing phone, wishing he didn’t have to answer it. There was no news to report.
“Yes,” he said, placing the receiver to his ear.
“Have you learned anything?”
“Yes. We’ve been checking small towns all along the interstate. She went to Albuquerque after Phoenix.”
“Very good,” the voice on the other end of the phone said, sounding faintly surprised. “You’re making progress.”
The bald man didn’t respond. Eventually he and his associate were going to have to come clean and admit that Randi Howell’s trail went stone-cold after Albuquerque. They’d been searching for nearly a week without a single break.
“I have some information that may help you,” the caller said, as if he could read their minds. “There’s a large horse and livestock show in northern New Mexico this coming weekend. Someone from town, Travis Stockwell, will be there. She might try to set up a meeting.”
The bald man wrote down the pertinent information. “We’ll keep looking around here,” he said, “then get to the show in plenty of time. If she’s there, we’ll find her.”
“Just remember what I told you before. You must silence her before she speaks to the police. If she makes it back to Grand Springs—”
“We understand. She won’t be around long enough to return to Grand Springs.”
There was a click and the caller hung up. The bald man replaced the receiver. His associate continued to toss his cigarette pack into the air. “What’s the word?” he asked.
The Rancher and the Runaway Bride Page 13
