Surprisingly, her acquiescence to his accusation seemed to take some of the stiffness out of Micha’s back. He picked up the tomato next to the cutting board on the counter and set to slicing it. “I was seeing a woman named Lori. Had been seeing her for several months.”
Shiloh nodded. “I remember.”
He paused and looked up, as though to question how she had known.
“You told me about her when I came to visit this summer, remember?”
“Right. Anyhow, Lori came from a large family and she had a little brother who was about four years older than Micha.” He sliced at the tomato like it was a demon he was trying to drive away. “Turns out that every time we went to Lori’s house, her little brother bullied Quinten, even to the point of leaving bruises on him. Quinten’s old enough that he bathes himself now, so I didn’t see them, until one evening when he and I were roughhousing and Quinten winced when I’d barely touched him. I pulled up his sleeve and saw the bruises and he finally told me that Oren had been beating him up regularly ever since I’d started seeing Lori.” Micha’s jaw pushed over to one side as he swept the tomatoes off the cutting board and into the salad with one harsh swipe. “I told Lori about it, and both she and her parents made excuses for the little—” He broke off and spun around to dump the cutting board and knife into the sink. He propped his hands against the counter and leaned into them, head hanging. “Anyhow, Lori and I worked together. And Oren went to Quinten’s school, just a few grades up. So all in all, I chose to move instead of leave Quinten to face that problem every day.”
“You couldn’t have known, Micha.” Why did she feel she needed to defend him? The man had certainly always been more than capable of defending himself.
“But I should have known. Maybe I would have if I hadn’t been so…interested in Lori.”
Those words were like a stab in the heart. Because despite all her running through the years, she’d never once let herself love another man. Micha had always been her one and only. And yet, how could she begrudge his willingness to move on and find a mother for his son? One who would be in the boy’s life for more than two or three days out of every six months?
“Micha, back in Portland, I’d planned—”
“What’s for dinner, Dad?” Quinten bounced into the room like he had springs on his feet.
And Shiloh let the matter drop. Maybe she would get her chance to tell Micha how the Lord was changing her, one day soon.
For now, she was just going to enjoy this evening God had given her with her son.
CHAPTER 11
Monday morning finally arrived—the day Micha had told her she could get out of the hospital—and Zaire felt on pins and needles as she waited for him to do his rounds and actually sign her release papers.
The nurse had woken her at five when she came in to check on her, and Zaire had been too thrilled about getting out to go back to sleep. But now it was nearing noon, and Micha still hadn’t showed up.
She had a business to run, and every moment that she was stuck in here was a moment when she was losing business.
She fidgeted and pressed the call button.
While she waited, she thought over the events of the past two days.
Landon had stayed with her pretty much every minute that the hospital staff would let him. Saturday evening, they’d been watching TV when a nurse had bustled in and told him he had to leave. Landon had tried to fight it, pointing out that he’d been allowed to sleep on a cot in her room the evening before and that Dr. Stanton had said it was okay.
But the nurse had only plunked her hands on her hips and given him a “don’t sass me, boy” look. “That was before we all knew you two were divorced. Only family is allowed to stay in the room. Hospital policy.”
“But Dr. Stanton—”
“Is new and hasn’t yet familiarized himself with our policies.” Her tone left no room for argument and Landon had buttoned his lips after that, obviously not wanting to get Micha in any trouble.
Zaire had run a low-grade fever through the night on Saturday, but by Sunday morning, it had been gone again and the nurse looked relieved. “Apparently, those antibiotics are doing their job.” She’d patted the bag of medicine that hung form Zaire’s IV pole like she was patting a dog on the head for a job well done.
The new Riversong police officer—Phoenix Reardon, he said his name was—had showed up first thing, asked her a few questions, and then told her he was ruling her fall an accident. She’d thanked him and tried to go back to sleep, but had been too annoyed by the constant beeping of a machine that sounded like it was under her pillow, but was obviously one or two doors down.
Landon had showed up mid-morning and quietly asked her if she would mind if he did a Bible study with her, since she was missing church.
Her first thought had been a bit skeptical. Was he really interested in doing Bible study with her? Or was he just feeling bad that she was lying here in the hospital all alone?
But he’d been so sincere in his comments on the passages, that she’d had to repent of her skepticism by the time they concluded their study on the faith-filled people listed in the eleventh chapter of Hebrews. They’d chosen that topic, because it was what Pastor was preaching on at church that morning, according to the church website.
Mom and Dad had come to the hospital after church. They had arrived just as she and Landon were finishing up the Bible study.
Dad kept quiet, but Mom rolled her eyes at Landon and folded her arms. “You doing Bible study? That’s rich!”
“Mom!” Zaire defended, when Landon only looked down at the clasped hands in his lap.
Mom hissed a breath through her teeth. “We came by to bring you some of my beef stroganoff and to tell you that we have your old bedroom out at the house all cleaned up and ready for you.” Her gaze honed in on Landon. “We’d also like you to know that we expect there to be no visitors while you are at the house.” At the shocked drop of Zaire’s jaw, Mom lifted her chin. “You’re going to need your rest.”
Zaire looked at Dad, but saw that he wasn’t going to be any help. “In case you both have forgotten, I’m a full-grown adult. I’ve been handling my own affairs for over ten years now.”
“We know, dear. But sometimes in situations like this you just need to let someone else take care of you for a while.”
“Great. I’ll do that. At my own place.”
Both Mom and Dad stiffened, looking at her in shock. “What? But you can’t…” Mom’s words trailed away in hurt.
Landon scrubbed at the back of his neck. “Zai, please don’t. Not on account of me.”
Zaire felt her jaw jut to one side as she glowered at her parents. “I can’t believe you two. How many years have we gone to a church where love, and forgiveness, and second chances have been preached? How many years have I heard you tell me how important it is not to be too hard on people who are trying to do the right thing? And now”—she motioned from them to Landon and back again—“this?”
Mom stumbled backward until she collapsed into a chair against the opposite wall. “You’re taking him back?” The words were a barely-audible whisper of shock.
“What? NO! I never said that! That’s not even an option on the table. We’re adults, mom. We both know we can’t go back.”
Landon’s shoulders slumped further, and Zaire frowned, recognizing the gesture for defeat and disappointment. He surely couldn’t be thinking that they should get back together, could he? His words from earlier about wanting her to give him a second chance flashed into her memory. She sank into the cloudy fluff of her pillows. “Thank you for the food. Just, please, everyone leave. I need some time alone.”
All three of them stood and started for the door, but she couldn’t let Landon go without an explanation. “Landon. Wait. Please.”
Landon hesitated by the door, but he didn’t speak. He simply looked at her, a world of hurt in his eyes.
She sat up and plucked at her blanket, waiting until her pa
rents vacated the room before sayin, “Listen, Landon. I’m sorry about that. Her words took me by surprise and I answered too quickly. But that doesn’t mean…” She hesitated, a confusion of jumbled emotions tumbling through her. But the one that won out was a certainty that he would never want her back. He, after all, had been the one to do the leaving. Really there was no answer to offer but the truth. “Listen, I know what you said earlier, but I’m sure you don’t have the first intention of trying to get back together with me. And it’s probably silly to even bring it up. It’s just…if we ever…got to the place…where we were even contemplating getting back together, I just don’t know if I can…risk my heart like that again. It has taken me so long to…be able to live life with joy again. When you left, it…crushed me. So maybe we will just have to settle for friendship.”
Landon nodded slowly. Resignedly. “You’re wrong about what I want. But whatever you want, Zai. I can’t blame you for any of those feelings.” He turned and left then, without a backward glance, and she knew him well enough to know the internal hurt his brave expression was hiding.
Her shoulders slumped in defeat as he left her sight. Why did she feel like she had just made the biggest mistake of her life? She was only trying to protect herself. Hadn’t her counselor encouraged her to do just that with any future relationships that might arise in her life?
She huffed a laugh. Neither she nor her counselor had realized her ex would be coming back and asking for a second chance. Zaire highly doubted that her counselor would encourage her to delve back into a relationship like that.
Micha had stepped through her door at that moment. “Whoa. You look like your puppy just died. What’s up?” His face showed the concern of a true friend and Zai fleetingly registered the fact that some friendships simply seemed to pick back up where they’d left off, even after years of separation. Growing up in a small town, they’d all been so close to each other, she supposed that was natural.
Micha was still studying her.
Zaire shrugged “Life is complicated.”
He rubbed one finger over his forehead as though scrubbing at a headache. “Tell me about it.”
Zaire felt a wave of compassion for him. “You really had no idea Shiloh had moved home before you moved back here, did you?”
He shook his head. “Absolutely none.”
“I think she’s different than she used to be.” Zaire honestly hoped things could work out between the two of them.
Her conscience pricked her at that thought. If she could hope that Micha and Shiloh got back together, why couldn’t she seem to feel excited about getting back together with Landon?
Because there was too much of her heart on the line, that was why.
Micha strode to the window in her room and looked outside, but by the tilt of his head she could tell he really wasn’t seeing anything. “She came over last night. Spent some time with Quinten.”
“That’s nice. How did it go?”
His brow slumped and he rubbed at it with the knuckle of his thumb. “Good, I think. At least Quinten loved it. Of course, she brought him two bags full of toys, so…” He let the words trail away with a smile and a small shrug.
“She has a lot of time to make up for.”
Micha nodded. “That’s what I’m afraid of. I can’t just let her spoil him and leave me to be the bad guy.”
“Give her time. Talk to her. I’m sure she just doesn’t realize the position she’s putting you in. She’ll get the hang of it soon.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” He spun away from the window. “Anyhow, let me just take one more look at that arm. If everything looks good, I can let you go home tomorrow.”
He came over and set to unwrapping the bandage. He pressed here and there, analyzing the stiches and coloring of her skin.
Zaire studied him as he bent over her arm. She’d forgotten what a handsome guy Micha was. He wore his beard in a super-short trim that always made him look a touch rugged. And he had brown eyes that could transform from shades as light as caramel to those more along the lines of dark chocolate.
Apparently feeling her scrutiny, he lifted his gaze to hers. “What is it?”
Zaire considered. Any woman ought to be swooning with such a handsome man this close to her and gazing into her eyes. And yet, to her he was just Micha. Good friend from back in high school. And someone who isn’t Landon. “Nothing. Sorry. I didn’t mean to unsettle you.”
His forehead furrowed quizzically, but he returned to his assessment of her arm. “It’s fine.”
She rolled her eyes at herself and searched for words to keep the conversation going.
“So, do you want Shiloh back in Quinten’s life?”
Micha’s fingers paused in their movement for a moment. “I’m not sure. I know Quinten is thrilled about having her back in his life.” He set to wrapping a clean bandage around her arm. “It just makes me so angry that she didn’t come by and see him more often.”
“In her defense, she did come when she got back from Europe. She told me she’d planned to move to Portland to be near you two. But you told her you were in a serious relationship with someone and Shiloh didn’t want to complicate matters. She felt she’d hurt you enough.” As soon as she was done with the telling, Zaire tucked her lip between her teeth. “Maybe I’ve said too much. If anyone knows what it feels like to be betrayed it’s me, Micha. And I just want you two to give each other every chance, because I remember how much in love you were in the early days.”
Micha straightened from his task and strode over to wash his hands in the sink against the far wall. “And you and Landon? What’s happening there? You two getting back together?”
Zaire clasped her hands together and poked her first two fingers into her chin. “I would like that, but…” Shocked by the admission, she let the rest of the sentence trail away.
And if Micha had been surprised to hear the words, he couldn’t be any more surprised than she had been.
CHAPTER 12
Landon drove the highway from Riversong to Wenatchee with a little more speed than he probably should have. But no matter how many times he reminded himself to lighten his foot on the pedal, his mind kept going back to Zaire’s words. It doesn’t mean I am going to take you back. Maybe we will just have to settle for friendship.
His teeth were clamped so tight that his jaw ached.
The Wenatchee city limits came into view ahead and the speed limit dropped.
He downshifted and eased off the pedal, forcing himself to plant his foot against the car mat for a count of five before he put it back to the gas.
Pastor Duncan’s question came to him next. “Is Jesus enough?”
He groaned audibly. “Lord, I’m sorry. I know the answer should be yes. But I’m just not sure it is. So how do I get to a place where I can definitively say that yes, You are all I need?”
The only answering sound came in the form of his phone alarm reminding him that he had fifteen minutes to make it to his physical therapy appointment.
He sighed and pulled into the turn lane at the light.
The medical facility he needed was only five minutes away, and after he checked in, he seated himself in the waiting room across from a couple guys who looked like they could be brothers. One wore a wrist wrap on his left hand and was leaning forward like a lot of concern was weighing him down.
The other, older by the looks of it, wore a frown of consternation. “So you’re just going to let her go?”
Landon picked up a Sports Illustrated and tried to mind his own business, but the room was small and the brothers were close.
“Dude. Just drop it. She said she’s leaving and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
Landon’s heart went out to the guy. He knew the feeling. Except, well…, he’d been the idiot who left.
The older brother cuffed the younger across the back of the head, then leaned closer and lowered his voice. “There is something you can do. You have to prove to her that you still love
her. You have to go after her. Remind her how good it was in the beginning. Be the guy she fell in love with.”
Landon grimaced and turned the page. No way could he go back to being the guy Zaire fell in love with. That guy was cocky, self-assured, and had his priorities in all the wrong places. He’d bet maybe the younger brother had his own set of issues.
The younger brother shook his head. “You just don’t understand. You have it easy with Marcia.”
A sound almost like a growl followed. “You think I have it so easy with Marcia. Well I don’t. I work to help her remember how much I love her. We both have to work at that. I bring her flowers, just because. And she makes me my favorite dinner, just to make me happy. I pay a babysitter to show up once in a while so I can take her out in the middle of the week for no reason whatsoever. But none of that comes naturally. I have to work to think about it. I even put it on my calendar sometimes. ‘Surprise Marcia with something good today.’” The older brother air-quoted the last remark.
The nurse stepped into the room and called, “Steven?”
The brothers stood and walked toward her, the older still jabbering advice into his younger brother’s ear.
Landon sighed and thunked the magazine down onto the table beside him. He pushed his fingers through his hair, contemplating.
Maybe this was the answer to his earlier prayer. Maybe the Lord was telling him that he could have both Zai and a quality relationship with Him? Could Jesus be enough even if he did get back with Zai? Surely, yes.
His heart rate increased at just the thought. He could do this. He might not be able to go back to being the exact guy that Zai fell in love with, but he could be even better. He would serve her and woo her and court her. And remind her just how good they’d been together.
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