Oh boy. He might have to do a lot of praying over the next few days.
The week passed more quickly than Zaire would have anticipated as she recovered. And yet, despite how time flew, in many ways the week also gave her time with her parents like she hadn’t had for years. If she’d known that mouthing off to Mom would have brought about this change, she would have done it a long time ago. Sitting at her desk in the store, Zaire smiled ruefully.
And, though her parents had always been loving to one another over the years, she’d seen that grow and thrive over the last week. Almost to the point of embarrassment. Several times she’d retreated to her room upstairs, leaving them snuggled on the couch whispering sweet-nothings to each other.
She’d been to see Micha yesterday and he’d removed the large bandage, leaving only a good-sized band-aide on the inside of her arm now. He’d seemed very pleased with the progress of her healing and sent her on her way with the reminder that she would see him on Saturday at Salem’s party.
Zaire tried to focus on the inventory numbers before her. She did inventory every Friday and it should be something she could almost do in her sleep, but today her mind was fixed on Salem’s party—it was tomorrow and she would likely see Landon there. She’d given herself that as a deadline. She needed to make a decision by then, but what was she going to tell him? She still wasn’t sure.
He’d honored her request and left her alone all week. Since he’d walked out of her store earlier in the week, she hadn’t seen him—except across the room at Bible study on Wednesday night. She almost wished that he would ignore her mandate and come by to try and convince her to come back to him again, but at the same time she was thankful that he was honoring her request.
“Got that new spinner rack all set up for you in the front corner.” Dad plunked a wrench into her toolbox and shut the lid. “I’m going to run grab us some lunch at Golden Loaves. Be back in ten, and then I’ll get all those new Riversong T-shirts you bought hung on it this afternoon.”
“Thanks, Dad.” She watched him walk out the door and grinned at his off-key whistling.
He had come and helped her in the shop most days this week and slowly she’d heard his side of the story. Much like Landon, back when he’d first been married to Mom, he’d been a marginal church attender, mostly because it was what was expected of him.
He’d met a woman at work. At first he’d kept it neutral, but eventually the late nights of working together had turned into a quick night cap before going back home. And then he said one night without even planning to do it, he’d just kissed her. He’d almost been as surprised by the action as the woman had been. Guilt had followed, which had in turn put a wedge between him and Mom. And from there things had progressed from bad to worse.
“What made you change your mind? Brought you back to Mom?” she had asked him a couple days ago.
“It was such a small thing that woke me up to my stupidity,” Dad said. “I was on the bus home from work, heading to the apartment of the woman I was living with at the time. But I was thinking about you and your mother because your birthday was coming up in a few days. You were about to turn three and I wasn’t going to be there to see it. And then a man sat down on the seat beside me. He had a bag—one of those paper bags with the twine handles—and a baby doll, still in the packaging, protruded from the top of the bag. He must have seen me looking at it because he smiled. Then he told me that is was his daughter’s third birthday that day and he couldn’t wait to get home to give her the toys he’d bought for her after work. He asked me if I had kids and I mumbled something that probably left him thinking I didn’t. But I could only think of all that I would be missing out on if I didn’t come home to you and your mother.” Dad shrugged. “You mother took me back, making it clear that it was only for your sake she was doing so. She also laid down the law that I would be in church every Sunday with you two, without fail.” Dad stared out the front window of the store toward the motel pool for a long time. “I don’t remember exactly what sermon got through to me. Probably it wasn’t just one, but many layered on top of one another. But one day I suddenly realized that Jesus really was the answer to the emptiness inside me. And on the drive home, I told Pam about it. That was the point that started to turn our relationship around.” Dad ended with a shrug. “I wish I had a better history to tell you, Zai baby. But I’m just a big dumb sinner, saved by grace.”
“Oh, Daddy.” Zaire had wrapped her arms around her father’s neck. “I’m so glad you both finally told me. I love you and I’m glad that things have worked out for you and Mom.”
“Yeah. Me too,” Dad replied. “But here’s the thing I want you to think about.” Dad held up one finger till he was sure he had her attention. “There are no perfect people in this world, baby girl. Anyone you might eventually date and maybe even marry would be a sinner saved by grace, just like the rest of us sorry lot.”
He’d left her to lock up then, making the excuse that Mom had asked him to stop by the store for ice cream, but Zaire got the feeling that he’d just dropped a big bomb that he wanted her to think about.
And she had thought about it for several days now. His point was obvious. No man was ever going to be perfect. And she knew that. She just wasn’t quite sure why Daddy had made a point of bringing it up.
She was helping a customer when he came back in with their sandwiches from Golden Loaves, but as soon as the woman paid and left, Zai flipped over her “gone to lunch” sign and locked the door.
Daddy had the food spread out on the little table in the back room, along with a blackberry Izzy for her and a peach one for himself.
Zaire sank down and after her dad offered up a cursory prayer, she launched in before she lost her nerve. “Dad, what was your point in telling me that about any man I might consider being a sinner saved by grace?”
Daddy shrugged and munched on his pickle. “Just pointing out the truth, baby girl.”
“But you would have known that I already knew that truth, so you obviously had a point.” She pegged him with a look that let him know she wasn’t going to back down until she got her answer.
Daddy methodically lifted a napkin and wiped pickle juice off his fingers. “Listen, I’m really trying hard not to meddle in your affairs, and I probably said too much the other day, so can we just let this drop?”
Zaire shook her head. “No, Daddy, because I want to know your thoughts and advice.”
Dad sighed and tapped a chip on the table before popping it into his mouth. He chewed for a long dragged-out moment before chasing it down with some peach soda. “I’ll leave you with this, but I won’t say more.”
“Okay, lay it on me.” With a wink, Zai rested her chin on the saddle of her interlaced fingers.
Daddy leveled her with a soft look. “You’ve had to learn to be self-sufficient these past few years. I understand that. You mother was the same, when I came back to her all those years ago. People tend to get that way when they’ve been let down by someone they care for deeply. They start to feel like they can only depend on themselves. And I imagine it can be scary thinking about letting that go. Learning to trust again, hmmm?”
Zaire stared past Daddy’s shoulder, realizing just how right he was. If she let Landon back into her life, she would have to trust him with the sturdy, safe life she’d built for herself these past few years. She returned her gaze to Daddy’s and gave a little nod.
Daddy reached out and took one of her hands, tugging it toward him and covering it with his other. “Learning to trust anyone can be a daunting task, but especially someone who has hurt you in the past. But there are some verses you should remember, baby girl. ‘Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!’ It goes on to talk about how God set the example of reconciliation for us and has entrusted us to do the same with others.”
Zai pulled in a slow breath, suddenly realizing just the point her father had been trying to get across to her.
Dad lift
ed his sandwich. “Those verses come from Second Corinthians, chapter five, and that’s the final thought I’ll offer on the subject.” He gave her a wink, and took a huge bite of his Reuben.
Dad’s point was clear. Any man she might end up with would be just the same as Landon was now. Yes, he’d hurt her in the past. But he hadn’t yet given his life to God back then. And now that he had, he was a new creation. A new man.
Just like he’d been insisting to her that he was.
Zaire’s heart hammered, because she knew with sudden clarity just what her answer to Landon would be. And then she suppressed a groan, because she heard from Salem that Landon was out of town this weekend. She’d said he would be coming to her party, but had told her he might be a little late because he was going out of town to do some filming for his YouTube channel.
Wherever he was, he probably didn’t even have cell phone service.
She would have to talk to him at Salem’s party tomorrow night.
CHAPTER 16
By the time Zaire arrived at Salem’s party Saturday evening, she had talked herself into and out of agreeing to let Landon back into her life again more times than she could have counted. But she’d reminded herself about the verses from James about not being double-minded. She’d prayed a lot. And she felt her decision was what God wanted her to do. So she needed to stop questioning and just move forward, already.
She parked in the gravel lot reserved for Salem’s guests and took a deep breath before she climbed from her SUV. Her stomach seemed to be filled with a swarm of butterflies. She laid a hand over it and tipped her face to the sky. Bits of blue peeked through the gaps in the towering evergreen trees that stretched for hundreds of feet overhead. “Okay, Lord. Just help me through this. I am making the right decision, aren’t I?” She immediately snorted at the fact that she was once more wavering. “Right. Sorry. I’ll quit now.” The trees swayed gently and sunlight shot streaks through the branches, only to be snuffed out again when the trees swayed the other way. But the brief flash of light shot an arrow of hope through her heart. As though God was trying to send her a message of encouragement.
Decision once more confirmed, she glanced around. She didn’t see Landon’s truck yet.
The cramping in her stomach eased a touch.
She took another breath and headed toward the house.
Salem had the front door propped open. There was a carved bear holding a chalkboard next to the door, and on it Salem had penned. “On the back deck. Come on through, everyone.” A smiley face was Salem’s only signature.
Zaire was slipping off her sliver sandals to leave in the pile of shoes by the front door, when Phoenix Reardon walked through the door taking off his sunglasses.
Zaire’s brows lifted. The man looked good. Even trendy and approachable. Something that surprised her, since she’d only ever seen him looking stern in his uniform.
He nodded at her. Smiled. “I see you got your bandage removed. How’s your arm doing?” He started to unlace his shoes.
“It’s good. Thanks for asking.”
Once his shoes were removed, he motioned from the pile of shoes to the open door with a slight frown. “People around here leave their doors wide open like this often?”
Zaire smiled. Around here they were used to newcomers questioning the culture of trust. “For as long as I can remember.” His grimace made her wonder at his history. “Where are you from?”
He curled one hand around the back of his neck. “I was an officer in Seattle before moving here.”
Zai nodded. “Well that explains it.”
His expression held a question.
She grinned at him and tempered her next words with a wink. “Around here we’re used to city slickers questioning our ways.”
She caught movement just then behind Officer Reardon. She looked past him to see Landon studying her with a perplexed furrow in his brow, his hands propped on his hips. But the moment he caught her eyes on him he gave her a nod and stepped forward to unlace and toe off his hiking boots.
Zai took a breath. Officer Reardon’s looks paled next to Landon’s, though she had to admit that might be a bit of personal bias. Landon wore a pair of ripped jeans—and not the kind that came from the store, but the kind that were well worn and used—and a snug black T-shirt that clung to him in a way that reminded her how well toned he was beneath the fabric. She swallowed and looked down.
Had he caught her wink? Was that why he’d been frowning? The last thing she wanted to do was give him the impression that she was interested in someone else. No. Her intentions ran in quite the opposite direction. She suddenly felt the need for a long drink of cool water, but she didn’t want to walk away. This might be her only opportunity to talk to Landon in private this evening.
Shoes off, Landon stretched a hand out to Phoenix. “Nice to see you again.”
Phoenix bounced a look between the two of them as he replied, “Yeah, man. You too.”
Zai hoped that Phoenix would head for the backyard and leave her and Landon a moment alone, but Landon beat him to the punch. “Well, shall we?” He motioned toward the sliding door they could see past Salem’s entry and living room.
“Yeah.” Phoenix motioned for Zaire to precede them.
Zai was left with no choice but to comply. She would have to find a time to talk with Landon later.
Jett was manning the large grill at one end of Salem’s deck when they emerged into the sunshine, and both Landon and Phoenix headed toward him.
Zaire was momentarily hurt, until she remembered that Landon had promised not to push and she’d told him she would let him know her decision, but she hadn’t mentioned anything to him yet. She supposed she should be thankful that Landon seemed to have taken the new guy under his wing. That wasn’t something he would have done in the past, she realized. Yet another confirmation of her decision.
She was still standing in the middle of the deck staring after the men when Salem approached her. “Alright, spill. What gives?” Salem’s words were discreet.
Zaire blinked and tried to look innocent. “What?”
Chastisement dipped Salem’s chin toward her chest. “Don’t give me that. I know that look. What’s going on between you and Landon?”
Pretending interest in her fingernails, Zai replied. “Who says I was looking at Lan?”
Salem’s eyes narrowed as she cast an assessive took toward the two men. “Officer Reardon? Please. No. Way. You were looking at Landon. I’d bet my last tooth on it.”
Zaire chuckled. She never could hide anything from her friend. She let her gaze wander to the group of men who had now been joined by Micha and his son Quinten. “Landon wants to start seeing me again.”
Salem held her silence for a long time and Zaire could feel her questioning scrutiny almost boring into her. Finally, Salem asked, “And…”
Zaire sighed. “And I’m thinking about letting him.”
Salem practically squealed, and threw her arms around her neck. “You have no idea how happy that makes me. I’ve been praying and praying ever since he got back and I could tell how different he was.”
Salem’s squeal drew the attention of the group of men and Zaire gave Salem a playful frown as she pushed her away. “Will you hush? I haven’t had a chance to tell him yet.”
“Well by all means, let this be the day!”
“Be the day for what?” Shiloh stopped next to them with Kacy by her side.
“For Zaire to take her life back,” Salem answered vaguely. And then she quickly changed the subject. “Look at you.” She pulled her sister into a hug. “You look amazing. And Kacy.” She followed suit and pulled Kacy in for an embrace as well. “So good to see you again. I’m glad you came.” Salem stepped back and motioned them toward a cooler full of drinks. “Alright, I’m going to check on the meat. Why don’t you gals help yourselves to some sodas, or water, or whatever. We should be eating in just a few minutes.”
When the three of them stopped by the drin
ks, Kacy, who had been one of their friends in high school, looked toward the group of men and practically groaned. “This is a set-up, isn’t it? I’m going to kill her.”
Zaire bit back a grin. “She does it because she loves us.”
But her attempt at softening Kacy to Salem’s cupid-esque techniques didn’t seem to be working too well. “I have a job I love. And a cat. I don’t need a man. We don’t need a man, right girls?” She bounced a look between Zaire and Shiloh.
With her newly-made decision to take Landon back, Zaire didn’t feel like she could respond positively to that.
And Shiloh actually stepped back like she wanted nothing to do with the conversation.
Kacy’s shoulders slumped dramatically. “Traitors,” she ground out.
Zaire and Shiloh laughed.
They made small talk about work and listened to a hilarious story that Shiloh shared about one of the students in her class until Salem’s raised voice called them to gather around for prayer.
Zaire happened to be closest to the table of food when the prayer was finished, so she headed up the line. Everything on the table looked so delicious that she filled her plate so full she knew she’d never be able to eat it all. “Salem, you’ve outdone yourself, this all looks so delicious.”
Salem beamed. “Thank you! I had help.” She leaned close to Jett, who was standing by her side, and he bent down so they could rub noses.
“It was my pleasure,” he murmured with a sparkle in his eyes. And Zaire had a feeling from his words alone that a lot more than cooking had been going on in Salem’s kitchen this morning.
Salem blushed prettily.
Zaire smiled and started down the deck’s stairs toward the chairs Salem had set up on her lawn, but that was when she caught Landon’s gaze on her. He was still waiting in line for his food. The look in his eyes reminded her of many similar days that they’d spent in their own kitchen, and she felt heat searing her cheeks.
Behind her, someone cleared their throat. “Are we walking down the stairs? Or are we just standing here, staring at Landon?” Shiloh prodded her teasingly.
Soft Kisses and Birdsong (Riversong Book 2) Page 15
