“Did you cheat on your tests, or hers? I’m confused.”
“You cheat, you get expelled. It doesn’t matter who it was for or which class. Therefore, my diploma should be nullified. I wouldn’t be employed if I weren’t such a liar. I shouldn’t be there.”
She shook her head. “I knew a liar once. We can call him Mr. Shifty Eyes. Everything that came out of his mouth wasn’t simply a lie, it was a whole universe of distorted truth. When Shifty Eyes told you it was sunny, you better get an umbrella. He’s stiffed every landlord who let him move in. He burned every employer who took a chance on him, leaving the place in chaos. You’re telling me that when you go to work, you’re just faking all that counseling you do?”
“Maybe,” he said, frustration coloring his words. “I want to help but I’m simply repeating everything I’ve read. I don’t really know what I’m doing.”
She started to laugh. His expression was part shock and part irritation. “Austin, that’s what people do. They learn things in books. They repeat what they’ve learned to other people who didn’t read those books. Those other people find it very useful.”
“But I’m supposed to be talking to kids about how not to break the rules, how to keep their noses clean.” He raked a hand through his hair. “It would be like Tom preaching not to steal while skimming off the top of the collection basket.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
“Do?”
She took his hand. “Just like you asked me. What are you going to do?”
Austin looked down at her, hope and fear warring in his expression. “I― I want to go talk to the dean at University of Louisiana.”
Charlie felt her eyes widen. “To tell them what you’ve done?”
“Right. I won’t mention Megan’s name unless I have to, but I want to come clean. I don’t want to carry this anymore.”
“You’re very brave.” She wanted to be brave, but she’d spent too long pretending she had nothing to hide.
“Like you,” he said.
“I’m not.”
He stepped forward and she realized how long they’d been standing outside the bookstore, and how much they’d talked today. He reached up and cupped her cheek. “You’re a survivor. What happened to you would break most people. They would be filled with hate and bitterness.”
“Oh, I’m plenty bitter,” she said, smiling against his hand. She was making a joke, but her heart was thudding in her ears.
“They tried to make you give up, but you’re still here and you’re still you.”
She thought of the sketch sitting on the desk. She’d given up her main project and shelved that character, refusing to illustrate or code anything at all. “I did give up. For a long time.”
He cupped her face with both hands now. He was close enough she could smell his aftershave and something that made her think of summer mornings. “You’re still you, and you’re still here,” he repeated.
It was true. She’d wanted to die, wanted to take the easy way out. In the beginning when she was still online, her accounts were inundated with messages. Just kill yourself, cheater. Your life is over. You don’t deserve to breathe. Kill yourself and make the world a happier place.
“I’m glad I made it through. Otherwise I wouldn’t have met you.” Part of her was screaming that she was making another bad decision based on feelings and not facts. The other part was already leaning forward, yearning to feel Austin’s lips on hers.
He shifted, and she closed her eyes just before he kissed her softly. For a moment she thought how the kiss was completely unexpected, and at the same time, she’d been waiting all week for it. Then she stopped thinking and kissed him back.
First kisses are all the same, but a first kiss after having your heart broken is in a completely different category. It takes ten times the usual hope and trust. That kind of kiss changes a person. It proves, beyond a doubt, that there is still wonder and passion in the world, just waiting to be found.
A laugh filtered through the happy fog in her brain and she reluctantly pulled back. “I think― I’m guessing we shouldn’t be kissing right here in front of everybody.”
“Who’s everybody?” he murmured and didn’t even bother to turn around.
She couldn’t resist one more kiss and then with a sigh, said, “You know, the entire town of Natchitoches.”
“Tourists,” he said, but dropped his hands, giving her mouth one last glance.
“And Father Tom,” she said.
He whirled around. His brother was standing on the sidewalk a few feet away and looked as if he’d paused mid-step. An older couple grumbled as they detoured around him.
“Well, this is interesting,” Father Tom said as he walked over. He looked like the cat who’d eaten the canary. “Should I pretend I didn’t see you? Or do you want to pretend that didn’t happen in front of me as I was innocently minding my own business?”
Charlie’s face had gone hot. “Um, we can― you should―”
“He’s kidding,” Austin said. He shot Tom a look that might have contained a threat but she wasn’t sure. “Nobody’s pretending anything.”
“Great. I’m headed into By the Book. We can announce your new dating status to our friends and then there won’t be any hard feelings.”
“Hard feelings?”
“You know, for the people who are out of the loop and find out these important things last. On the sidewalk.” Father Tom gave Austin his most innocent look.
“Funny. And if I’d known you were so interested in my love life, I’d have kept you more up to date.”
“Love, is it?” He beamed at Charlie. “Well, congratulations and welcome to the family.”
Austin rolled his eyes skyward. “I’m going to tell mom.”
“Yes, please do. She’ll want to know why you haven’t offered to bring Charlie home for dinner yet.” Father Tom seemed to be enjoying himself a little too much. “It was bad enough when Gideon got engaged and she’d clapped eyes on Henry only a few weeks before.”
Charlie caught sight of Austin’s face and started to laugh. “Oh, don’t worry. I know he’s kidding.” She looped her arm through his. “Let’s go inside. No announcing, no more teasing.”
He let himself be pulled along, but not without shooting Father Tom another narrow-eyed look. “Good idea.”
Austin opened the glass front door and waved her inside. Charlie was tempted to look back and see if the brothers exchanged any other nonverbal communication. Several customers stood at the main counter, where Alice was ringing up their purchases. Bix had tissue at the ready to wrap and secure their vintage books, then put them in long-handled paper bags.
Charlie looked around for Aurora and just as she decided the little girl was finally taking a long nap in the play pen, Paul walked out of the back room. The baby was in his arms, facing forward, watching the store with large dark eyes. Charlie smiled as she read the white print on her tiny blue T-shirt. I party with Jay Gatsby.
“Isn’t that a little suggestive for a four month old? Gatsby wasn’t exactly the kind of guy you’d want your daughter to date.”
“I agree. But I thought it fit her mood this week.” Paul smiled but he looked weary. “No wonder Alice is tired. I’ve only been walking her for an hour and my arms are aching.”
“You need one of those baby wraps. Or a snuggly. You strap them in and then you can use your hands.” Charlie made a mental note to look up the reviews on line as soon as she got a chance.
“Good idea. Make sure it’s in a manly color. I don’t want to be wearing a pink flowered sheet tied around my torso. Even if it does hold Miss Invictus.”
“Invictus?”
“I am the master of my soul, the captain of my fate. Invictus, the poem by William Ernest Henley. Definitely her mood today.”
Charlie saw that Father Tom and Austin had stopped at the desk to talk to Bix. She swallowed, gathering her courage. “Paul, I was wondering if I could come see you at the new head
quarters tomorrow?”
His brows went up. “Are you taking the job? I meant what I said. We could really use a programmer like you.”
“I definitely want to look around.” That was true. “You could tell me about the projects you have in the works.” She wanted to take those words back. The last thing she needed was to have insider knowledge of all their projects. If anything leaked out, he wouldn’t think she was innocent twice.
“You’ve got it.” He seemed happier than she’d seen him in a while. “Nine a good time? I could make it earlier but I have a meeting. And you’re coming to dinner at Gideon’s place after Mass, right? Let it all settle and then we can talk more about it then.”
Charlie felt unease slide through her. By Sunday, Paul and Alice might not be speaking to her. “Sure, but I don’t want to take over the party. I don’t need much time. Just a―”
He scoffed. “Take over the party? I’ll be thrilled to have someone other than Andy to talk to about work.”
He was already assuming she’d take the job. Maybe he didn’t know she’d written that virus. Maybe it really would be a terrible surprise. The thought of seeing Paul’s anger and disappointment made her rethink whether Austin’s plan was right. She could lose everything and everyone… again.
As she was changing her mind, Ruby through the back door, basket in hand. She waved, smiling brightly. “Look, sha, I brought you a basket of goodies. I just hate the thought of you in that ugly little apartment, eating food out of a box.”
“Which apartment?” Paul asked, frowning.
“It’s… not that ugly,” Charlie said.
“Bonnie Jean’s cousin Judy has an uncle who has a girlfriend who lives there. She says it’s more depressing than the evening news. And smelly.” Ruby plunked the basket in Charlie’s arms. “Here, fresh biscuits and gravy. The little Tupperware is pork sausage gravy, just made it myself about an hour ago. It’ll keep a few days.”
“We should help you look for a different place. You shouldn’t have to live in a dump.” Paul looked concerned for her welfare, as if she wasn’t a full grown woman.
“Oh, that smells amazing.” She didn’t answer Paul, plucking a biscuit from under the patterned kitchen towel. “And they’re still warm.”
“Do I smell biscuits?” Father Tom was suddenly over her shoulder, eyeing the basket.
“Not for you,” Ruby said. “And I know you make great biscuits. Leave the poor girl alone.”
“Mmm, Tom can, but I can’t. I’m a terrible cook.” Austin was on her other side, giving his best puppy dog eyes.
Charlie pulled back the towel. “They’re warm. Take one. I can’t possibly eat them all.” She pushed the basket toward Father Tom, then Austin, then Paul. Maybe everyone would stop talking about her apartment and no one would ask why she was renting over there in the first place.
“Oh, you. What a soft heart.” Ruby tried to look as if she disapproved but she couldn’t quite manage it.
“Ruby, you brought biscuits?” Alice came forward, inhaling. “They smell like they just came out of the oven.”
“Here,” Charlie said, offering her one. “And for Aurora?”
“Oh, no―,” Alice started to say.
“Sure, she loves―,” Paul said at the same time.
“―she’s too little.”
“―a bite of biscuit.”
They looked at each other and there was an awkward moment where Charlie didn’t know whether Alice was going to laugh or cry. “Well, it looks like Aurora’s been enjoying a few culinary delights while I get the store opened up in the morning.”
“She really likes strawberries,” Paul said.
“I knew it,” Charlie cried. “She always smells like strawberries.”
“And maybe that’s why her tummy hurts,” Alice said, giving Paul a look.
“Oh. I never thought of that.” He kissed Aurora’s little head. “Sorry, sha, I wasn’t thinking.”
“She’s not old enough to suck on a biscuit,” Ruby said, frowning. “A few more months and she’ll be eating everything in sight, but for right now―” She took Aurora from Paul and snuggled her close. “We have to start her out right. There will be time for biscuits later.”
Start her out right. Charlie had never thought she was ill-equipped for college. She was a quick learner, a better programmer than most of her online friends, and knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life. But she didn’t know how to rely on other people. Not really. When things got tough, she just barreled through, trying her best to fix it herself. Somewhere, she’d decided that if she asked for help, it meant she was weak. It felt great to be independent, the best in her class, she didn’t need anybody. Now she had the grown up version of Aurora’s tummy ache. She was miserable.
“I’ll miss her strawberry smell,” Charlie said, reaching out for Aurora’s little hand. “But I won’t miss all that fussing.”
She looked up and saw Austin watching her. The expression on his face was hard to decipher but he seemed to be saying that he believed in her, that he knew she could bring herself out of the dark shadow that had covered the last six months. She gave him the tiniest nod. Tomorrow she would face Paul and tell him the truth. It didn’t matter whether he knew already or not. It was her responsibility to explain what happened. Being proud and silent had felt good in a way, but it was hurting her relationships with everyone she knew and loved. Her pride was making her sick and it was time to ask for help.
Chapter Twelve
A whale ship was my Yale College and my Harvard. ― Herman Melville
“Have a good interview,” Alice said. She reached up and brushed back Charlie’s hair. “Sorry, I’m not crying. Not really. I’m just not ready for everything to change.”
“Nothing is changing. I’ll still be here part time.” Charlie hoped that was true. If things went well, she hoped they’d still be friends. She gave Alice a quick hug and then leaned over Aurora’s play pen. She was sleeping peacefully, now that Paul had stopped the illicit strawberry breakfasts. Her arms were thrown out wide, tiny fists curled tight. Her T-shirt read “After a Full Belly, All is Poetry”.
“Who gave her this one?” Charlie whispered, motioning to the shirt.
“I made it online,” Alice whispered back. “You can make anything now.” She paused, a frown line appearing between her brows. “It’s a Frank McCourt quote. I didn’t credit him because there wasn’t enough room. Do you think that’s copyright infringement? I mean, the T-shirt is just for her. I’m not selling them. But people will read it off her and might think I made that up.” She was looking more worried by the second. “I can’t stand it when people don’t give credit. Maybe I should redo the shirt and put his name in small print on the back?”
Charlie reached out and hugged her, hard. “Oh, Alice,” she said.
Alice laughed a little. “You think I’m being ridiculous.”
“No, you’re perfect.” Charlie turned around, trying to wipe a tear from her eye without being noticed. “I should go. I won’t be long. A few hours at most. Call me if I should come back sooner.”
Alice switched to Creole. “Sha, don’t worry about us. Bon chance!”
“Merci,” Charlie said and walked away before she really started to cry. If it was just an interview, it wouldn’t matter. But so many people she loved might not speak to her by day’s end and it was scarier than having a thousand internet trolls on her trail.
***
“I don’t understand.” Francis Bernard narrowed his ice blue eyes at Austin. “You want to report a student cheating four years ago… and it’s you?”
“Yes, sir.” Austin tried not to look crazy. It wasn’t working. The dean of students looked like he was on the verge of calling campus security.
“You have a good job and drove hours to meet with me just to tell me you cheated on some tests?”
“Well, I…” Austin stared at his feet. “I never cheated on my own papers or tests. I was helping a girl― someone e
lse. She― they were failing and needed to pass the class.”
“But you did all your work and took your own tests?”
“Yes, sir. But you see, I was cheating.” He felt like the conversation was slipping away from him. “And I know that anyone caught cheating will be expelled. So that makes my degree null and void.”
The dean leaned forward and fixed Austin with a look. “Do you like your job, Mr. Becket?”
“Yes, sir.” He loved everything about it except the fact he didn’t deserve to hold the position.
As if he’d been given the wrong answer, Francis Bernard sat back in his chair, frowning. After a few minutes of awkward silence he said, “Okay, this is what we’re gonna do. I’ll make a note in your file. If anyone makes the effort to inquire into your degree, that note will be there. I’m not going to ask about the other student because you didn’t bring any proof and don’t seem keen on sharing that information. These are very serious allegations and charges.”
“I know, sir.”
“For right now, I’m going to tell you to go back to Natchitoches and have a talk with your supervisor. If he thinks you should still be working there, then you’d best be thanking him for it.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “And I’ll bring this up at our next meeting. If most of the disciplinary committee agrees that we need to know all the details, then I’ll contact you and you might have to come back.”
Austin nodded. “Thank you, sir.”
The dean shook his head. “I admire you, son. I admire your ethics and integrity. But I hope you don’t let this shape the rest of your life. You’ve confessed it, now move past it.”
That sounded a lot like something Tom or Gideon would say. Austin stood up and held out his hand. “Thank you, sir. Again.”
“You’re welcome.” And this time he smiled, as if there was something about Austin that made him a little happier. “Now get back to your job.”
“Yes, sir.” Austin left the office and felt like a burden the size of his apartment had been lifted from his shoulders. Sure, it had sounded crazy and looked crazier, but coming clean to the school made him feel like he could finally start living. Maybe the rest of the world would call it scruples and tell him to get over himself, but Austin knew better. His daddy said if a man wasn’t honest in the little things, he wouldn’t be in the big things, either.
Along the Cane River: Books 1-5 in the Inspirational Cane River Romance Series Page 76
