“She knows her customers.” Andy had complete faith in Alice’s business sense. She had an intuitive grasp of what readers wanted and if they wanted a paperback room, she’d make sure they got it. “And she still won’t add on? I thought as founders of the Natchitoches Renewal Program, you’d get to do what you wanted.”
“We wish. We founded the program to help out low income families and business owners who need to make repairs. It doesn’t give us free reign to build wherever we want. The bookstore is a designated historical building so adding another room would be difficult. She’d have to get permission from the city and the county.”
Aurora daintily pulled Cheerios one at a time from the little bag but her eyes were on the rib in Andy’s hand.
“Sort of like what you did before building in the historical section of the Riverwalk?” Andy tried not to laugh as he bit into the ribs. That was how Alice and Paul had come to know each other. Or come to hate each other, then fall in love with each other, more accurately.
“In my defense, I still don’t know why they approved it.”
Andy had a suspicion that the city leaders were starry-eyed by Paul’s willingness to return to his hometown. He could see why. It was quite a coup, having a successful local build a fancy store, and even more impressive that he’d decided to move back permanently. Wiping his mouth with a napkin, he said nothing.
“You sure you don’t want me to come with you to New York?” Paul asked. “Aurora and I can pop up there with you. No problem.”
“Who would hold down the fort?”
“Mrs. Connors.”
“Funny.”
“You know it’s true. We’d be lost without her.” Paul caught a Cheerio before it rolled off the table. “There are some people who are expendable, like me and you, but she’s not.”
Andy paused mid-bite. “Are you trying to say something?”
“Is now a good time to say it?”
“Better now than later.”
“It’s just a job, Andy. This company we’ve created, the games people buy and play, even all the apps that have helped handicapped people live more independently.”
“Not a very motivational speech there, Mr. CEO.”
“You understand what I’m saying, right? We worked hard. Harder than two gamers have probably worked ever before and we created something incredible. We employ thousands of people and are worth more money than most cities spend in their annual budget. But it’s just a company and it’s just money.”
“You think I’m not committed to this job?” Andy leaned back, Aurora shifting with him.
“I think you’re struggling because you feel an obligation that’s not there.”
Andy wanted to say he wasn’t struggling. He wanted to list all the deals he’d closed, all the partnerships he’d created, all the ways he’d expertly steered the company like a ship in a perpetual storm. He looked around the room, at the polished steel, gleaming glass, and glossy wood. When he thought of walking away from everything he’d helped build, his stomach dropped into shoes. He felt a connection to the company in a way that was almost parental. And it might be the only way he ever felt like a parent. He wasn’t sure he could let it all go.
“Mother Teresa said the best way to promote world peace was to go home and love your family,” Paul said.
“You’re saying Mark―”
“Is more important than any of this. We have options, Andy. We can hire a vice president. We can get you three assistants. We can sell the company and retire.” Paul held up a hand at Andy’s huff of protest. “That last one isn’t high on my list, but we’re not tied to this company. We own it. It doesn’t own us. It’s not worth sacrificing yourself or your family for. I hope it all works out and he settles in and you can juggle all of this, but if he doesn’t, then you do what makes you happy. Even if that means moving back to New York City.”
That was the conversation Andy had been dreading. Moving back would feel like he was letting Paul and the company down. And then there was Aurora. He threaded his fingers through her soft curls. He didn’t want to miss watching her grow up. “I’m happy here.”
Paul cocked his head.
“Okay, I haven’t been feeling completely fulfilled the last few months but things are changing.” Andy didn’t want to complain. Paul had sacrificed as much as Andy had. He’d had to spend weeks away from Alice when they were first married, and worked long days when Aurora was first born. Lately things had settled down, but Paul had managed to work through those rocky months without falling apart. Andy felt that if Paul could do it, with a wife and kid, then he didn’t have any reason to struggle. He was one single guy. Mark was happy in his own life. It shouldn’t be the end of the world.
“That’s it?”
“I’ve made some big decisions lately.” Besides complaining, Andy also didn’t want to have a heart-to-heart about his feelings. He and Paul were good friends, but they spent more time slashing ogres with broadswords than exploring their emotional states.
“And I’m glad. I think this is a good move. You’ll never know if you don’t try.” Aurora made a grab for Andy’s plate again and Paul held up the little bag of Cheerios. She batted it from his hand and the cereal sprayed across the table in an arc. Paul considered the mess for a second then turned back to Andy, unconcerned. “What made you think of bringing Mark here, anyway?”
“You’ll never believe me.”
Aurora slid off Andy’s lap and toddled around the room. “Try me,” Paul said.
“Well…” Andy grimaced. “No, you’ll be calling in the shrinks.”
“I live with Alice, who doesn’t believe our child should look at a screen until she’s six. A lot of people think she’s a few peas short of a casserole but I get her point. Unless you say you’ve been abducted by aliens, I don’t think I’ll be surprised.”
“I met this woman.”
Paul started to smile. “A woman? I think I know which woman you’re talking about.” Aurora appeared at his knee, holding up a Cheerio. He took it, a smug look on his face. “I was telling Alice that it was only a matter of time before you and―”
“Well, I mean cupcake. I met a cupcake.”
“Wait. You met a woman or a cupcake?”
“Both,” Andy said. “She’s a woman who wears the big cupcake costume on the corner by Sunshine Bakery.”
Paul didn’t say anything for a moment. Aurora toddled off to look for more Cheerios. “And what’s her name?”
“I have no idea.”
“But you guys talked over this decision about Mark?”
Andy shuffled the papers in front of him. This was the part that looked really odd. Or odder than the cupcake part. “No. She actually can’t talk in the suit, so I just talk to her and she sort of waves her hands.”
“The cupcake waves her hands while you talk, and that helped you realize that you needed to bring Mark here.”
“Yeah, that’s about right.” Andy sat up straight and tried not to look crazy. “It’s hard to explain.”
“I’m gathering that.” Paul watched Aurora crawl under the table. She was talking to herself, or maybe talking to the Cheerios. “You know, it makes sense, in a way.”
“It does?” Andy felt a spike of hope. He told himself he wasn’t losing his marbles but was only about half convinced.
“The best counselors just listen, right? They listen while you talk and you eventually come to the right conclusion all by yourself. Maybe you just needed someone to talk to and the cupcake was that person.” Paul’s mouth twitched. “I get to tell Alice, right? Please tell me I can share this with my loving spouse who will never tell another soul, I swear.”
Andy shrugged. “Why not? I’m not ashamed of it. In fact, I’d love to know who this person really is. I should ask Roxie. I bet she knows.”
“Speaking of Roxie―”
“No.” Andy held up a finger. “I know you have that theory about the apartments bringing people together, but that’s not
happening.”
“You don’t like her?”
“It doesn’t matter if I like her.” Andy couldn’t help the stab of misery at the words. Moving Mark to Natchitoches was one thing. It could work out so smoothly that Andy could just go on with his life, just as he was before, but better. But that would never erase the test results. He would be bringing grief into someone else’s life.
“You need to give her some credit.” Paul peeked under the table, checking on Aurora. “Did you tell her Mark was coming to visit?”
“I went to the bakery and let her know. She says she wants to help out if she can.” Andy tried not to remember how he’d wanted to stay there all day, just sipping coffee and talking. Roxie wasn’t the kind of girl who flirted, but when she’d handed him the bag of beignets, he thought, just for a moment―. No, he couldn’t go there. He shook the thought away. “She was fine. More than fine. Very helpful and willing to be there if needed.”
“Then I don’t see the problem.”
“Change of subject, please.”
“Actually…” Paul was watching Aurora line Cheerios up on the carpet.
“You came here for some other reason?”
“Alice and I wanted you to be the first to know. We’re having another baby.” Paul couldn’t keep from smiling.
“Wow,” Andy said, standing up to give him a hug. “That’s incredible. Congratulations.”
“We’re pretty excited. Alice was thinking of waiting to announce it, but I reminded her that there were no secrets in Natchitoches, especially with Bix and Ruby around.”
“True. And if it’s a boy, you’re naming him Andy, right?”
“If I had my way.”
Andy laughed, knowing Paul would do his best, but Alice would probably name the baby after a character in some sonnet, just like Aurora was named after an Elizabeth Barrett Browning poem about a girl who loved books. “Is Alice feeling okay?”
“Depends on the time of day. She gets pretty green around dinner time,” Paul said. “But she’s a trooper.”
Aurora come out from under the table and wandered to the cupboards. She pulled one open and retrieved a tablet, turning it on without even pausing.
Paul stood up. “Uh oh. Your mama’s gonna have my hide if I let you fiddle around with that.” He gently took it from her and put it back in the cabinet. Aurora threw herself backwards onto the carpet and started to cry.
“I know, baby.” Scooping her up, he talked over her wails of distress. “I’ll let you get back to work. If you change your mind, we’d be glad to hop up there with you. Or I can leave Miss Techno Geek with Alice and it can be a guy’s trip.”
Andy could hardly hear Paul over Aurora’s sobs. She sounded utterly heartbroken at the loss of the tablet. “Thanks for the offer. I’m not even sure he’s going to come back with me. I better run up there alone.” He went to open the door for Paul. “I’ll let you know as soon as we’re in the air on the way home.”
Paul held out a fist and Andy met it with his own. “Good luck.”
He closed the door on Paul’s retreating figure and Aurora’s tears. Looking around the boardroom, he had the strangest feeling of having gone back in time several months to when he’d just arrived in Natchitoches. Every day that had passed hadn’t brought him closer to his goals. He’d gone to work, attended meetings, and approved projects just like he had in New York City, but he hadn’t lived. He’d been at a standstill and hadn’t really noticed. Now, on the way to pick up Mark, he felt his life begin to shift forward like a sled that had been stuck in the snow.
Andy walked to the long windows and looked out on the countryside spreading out below. A new baby. It was great news and made his heart lift just to think about the little person who would be joining Paul’s family. He was happy for them. They deserved every wonderful thing that came to them. At the same time, a little stab of jealousy made Andy grimace. It seemed lodged somewhere under his ribs, like a burr under a saddle.
He could trace a path from the river to the first bridge to the start of the historic section and on toward Trudeau Street and Sunshine Bakery. He couldn’t compare his life to Paul’s. They were on different paths and Andy saw his more clearly than he ever had.
Although Paul said the cupcake had acted like a therapist, Andy was sure it was more than that. She hadn’t been able to say much, but she’d given him back the perspective he’d lost since coming to Natchitoches. He’d always thought of himself as a pretty smart guy but he’d been walking around with his head in the sand until he’d met the cupcake. He wanted to meet this woman and thank her, face to face. Roxie would know who she was. Maybe she could smooth the way for an introduction.
Roxie. He’d cut Paul off when he’d started to mention her, but Andy had to admit that Roxie was one of the bright spots in his life. During their dance together he’d forgotten for a moment, forgotten all about the test results and the crush of obligations. While she was talking, reality had faded away and all he’d seen was those dark eyes reflecting the gentle light of the lamps overhead. He’d breathed in the scent of her, absorbed the warmth of her hand, and listened to her low, softly accented voice. She’d made him wish for a life he couldn’t have.
Andy scooped up the papers and stacked them neatly for Mrs. Connors. He was long past the age where he thought life should be fair. As much as he wished he could have what Paul and Alice had or that Roxie figured somewhere in his plans, Andy knew he needed to accept that his path was veering wildly away from that possibility. Everyone made choices, and Andy was determined take advantage of the freedom and power he had in his life. He wasn’t going to waste what he was given.
***
Andy felt his phone vibrate and tried to ignore it. Mark was carefully repacking his duffle bag. He only had a few items, but he had taken them out and rearranged them again several times. After a minute, the phone stopped vibrating and Andy heard the light chime that signaled a message.
“Buddy, I think you’ve got everything just right. Let’s head over to the plane, okay?”
Mark shook his head. “My movie is sliding around. I don’t like it sliding around.”
“Do you want me to hold it?”
He looked up, a frown of deep concentration on his face. “Will you drop it?”
“I promise not to drop it.”
“Okay, then.” Mark handed the DVD to Andy and watched him tuck it under his arm. “We can go now.”
“Great.” Andy took one last look around. His brother said he would be fine sleeping in a strange bed and didn’t want to bring his pillow or blankets, but Andy was afraid he wasn’t going to be happy without them. “Are you sure you don’t want to bring anything else?”
“Nope. I’m ready for our sleep over.” Mark held out a fist and Andy bumped it. It was a familiar move, something they’d done hundreds of times before, but this time it made Andy’s throat go tight. They hadn’t slept in the same house for a long time. Until he’d left for college, he’d slept in the same room as Mark, eaten at the same table, helped him get dressed and on the bus. Mark had learned a lot of new skills and built a life without Andy at the group home. Andy hoped he wasn’t taking Mark’s independence away from him.
As Mark said goodbye to the housemother and the two other disabled adults who lived in the condo, Andy checked his messages. A few seconds into the voicemail, he almost deleted it, wondering how the professional-sounding woman had gotten his personal cell number. Then he remembered. At a weak moment, he’d asked an assistant to inquire about hiring a personal chef, and then he’d promptly forgotten about it.
“Ready now,” Mark said, standing by the door.
Andy paused. He’d come here just to retrieve his brother but they weren’t on any schedule. “Do you want to ride into the city? I’d like to see some people, just for a little bit.”
Mark considered it for a minute then grinned. “Yeah. Let’s ride into the city. We gonna get hot dogs?”
“Like from a stand? Sure.” He tried
not to laugh, thinking of interviewing personal chefs while eating a hotdog from a street vendor.
They stood at the elevator, waiting for it to open. Mark turned to him and said, “I missed you, Andy.”
All the doubt Andy carried over the trip washed away in that moment. “I missed you, too.”
They went back to watching the elevator doors and Andy felt a deep conviction settle inside. He was right where he was supposed to be. Every life had a purpose and his was linked with Mark’s. Whatever else Andy’s future held, Mark was the one constant and he was done trying to live without him.
Chapter Ten
“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other.
Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.”
― Katharine Hepburn
Roxie stepped inside By the Book and felt her whole body start to relax. It had been a long, emotional day. Mamere’s forgetfulness, the number of customers at the bakery, and the memory of Andy’s visit the day before had all combined to overload her usual calm demeanor. By the time Raylene said she and the new waitress would clean up, Roxie had been about ready to cry. She’d delivered Mamere to Auntie’s house for dinner and insisted on going home. Auntie’s disapproval was palpable but Roxie had never been the extroverted type. She needed an escape, someplace she could curl up in a chair and let the world pass her by.
Walking to the classics section, Roxie took a moment to admire the sheer beauty of the collection. The bookstore was a jewel in her hometown and deserved every accolade it received. She loved the smell of the old leather volumes, the antique fixtures, the quiet tick of the clock above the front desk, the way the light slanted through the front windows and illuminated the red armchair near the front door. Everything about By the Book spoke to Roxie’s need to recharge and rest her weary spirit.
Along the Cane River: Books 1-5 in the Inspirational Cane River Romance Series Page 88
