by L. Wilder
She shook her head and laughed. “You expect me to do dishes after that? No, sir. I’m going to need a cold shower first.”
“Baby, I was just getting started. Save the cold shower for later. You’re gonna need it,” I teased as I walked back over to the sink.
“You’re sounding pretty confident over there,” she sassed.
“Only because I can back it up. Now get that sexy little ass of yours down from there and help me finish this up.”
“Bossy little thing, aren’t ya,” she teased. She hopped down off the counter and walked over to me. With a satisfied smile, she started drying the dishes I’d already washed and put them away.
It didn’t take us long to finish washing them all, and once we were done, I started for the door. Olivia placed her hands on my shoulders as she lifted up on her toes and kissed me on the cheek. She smiled and said, “Thank you for dinner.”
“I enjoyed it. The next one is on you. Now, get some sleep,” I told her, then kissed her softly on the lips. It was a brief but effective kiss. When I looked up at her, I saw the same longing in her eyes that I’d seen earlier. “Good night, Liv.”
“Good night, Clutch,” she replied as she watched me walk out the door.
I stood, staring at the closed door, and thought about everything Olivia had told me. It was almost inconceivable that something that fucked up could’ve happened to them. Not only had they managed to survive, but they’d left everything they knew behind and still ended up on their feet. I had no doubt that was because of Olivia’s strength and determination. All on her own, she’d protected those kids from god-knows-who and still managed to find a decent job and put a roof over their heads. Unbelievable.
As soon as I got into my apartment, I grabbed my burner and called Big Mike. Over the years, he’d become a real asset to the club. He had a way with computers and could hack into just about any account. I wanted him to look into Olivia’s case and see if he could find some leads. Not only did I want to know who killed their parents, I wanted to know who was after those kids. They meant something to me, and I’d be damned if I was going to let anything happen to them.
As soon as he answered the phone, Big Mike said, “You got Mike.”
“Hey there, brother. How’s it going over there without me?”
“Clutch? Damn, man. It’s been a while. How you doing?” Over the past couple of weeks, I’d been too busy to think about everyone back home, but hearing his voice made everything come rushing back.
“Doing good. Been keeping busy. I’ve been working my ass off in Gus’s garage, but it’s paying off. I’ll have them caught back up soon.”
“Good. It’s about time for you to get your ass back home,” he scoffed.
“Yeah, can’t disagree with you there. I’m ready to get back,” I told him. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but I wasn’t being completely truthful either. “I know it’s late, but I’ve got a favor. Need you to look into something for me.”
“Alright. Whatcha got?”
“Need you to work your magic. I need to know everything you can find on Olivia Turner. She’s around twenty-six or twenty-seven. She’s from Boston, Massachusetts. Her parents were killed just over three months ago. I need to know everything you can find out about the parents: who they worked with, who they’d recently pissed off … whatever you can find on them. Check the police files. I want to know what they’ve been able to uncover and see if they have any suspects. Give me everything they’ve got on file.”
“No problem. That all?”
“There is a detective there by the name of Brakeman. He’s in charge of the case. See what you can find on him,” I added.
“On it,” he assured me. “Stay by your phone. If I come across anything, I’ll let you know.”
“Thanks, man. I’ll be waiting.”
I hung up and tossed the phone on the coffee table as I dropped down onto the sofa. I was too wound up to sleep just yet, so I grabbed the remote and started flipping through all the different sports channels. I was hoping the hum of the TV would take my mind off of everything, but it didn’t help. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the look on Olivia’s face when she told me about her parents. I had no idea who had hurt them, but I wasn’t going to stop until I found out.
It was just a single conversation, but I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders after I talked to Clutch.
I’d been holding it in for so long, and it felt so good to finally tell him about everything that happened. Over the past few weeks, I’d started to grow feelings for him, and I was afraid he’d be mad at me and I’d lose him once I told him that I’d been lying. But he didn’t get mad. He acted like he’d known all along that I was keeping something from him. I shouldn’t have been surprised. He was a smart guy. I’m sure he’d heard when the kids slipped up and called out my real name, so it wouldn’t take much for him to put two and two together. He stood there and listened to every word as I explained what had happened to my parents and everything I’d gone through to keep the kids safe. He was attentive and understanding and made me feel like I’d done the right thing. When I was done talking, he didn’t run for the hills. He didn’t even budge from his spot.
Instead, he kissed me.
That kiss—holy cow! That surprised me most of all. Seeing the swirl of emotion in his eyes as he stood there staring at me stole my breath. He leaned over me, covering my mouth with a hungry kiss, and everything around me seemed to slip away. The caress of his lips was magic, making me feel like I was walking on air. The worries of my past simply disappeared and gave me a brief reprieve, allowing me for just a moment to consider the possibilities of the future. I’d never felt anything like it, and deep down, I knew it had everything to do with Clutch, and that terrified me.
Over the next few days, Clutch and I explored our newfound relationship, becoming more and more creative with our stolen moments. When the kids weren’t around, there were many secret kisses, each one becoming more passionate and demanding than the last. I saw the hunger in his eyes when he looked at me, and it was only a matter of time before he’d want to take that next step. And even though I wanted the same thing, I was terrified. In the past, I hadn’t had much experience with men. I had a couple of boyfriends in high school, but I’d only been intimate with one of them. I’d been seeing Timmy for almost three months when we decided to sleep together. Neither of us had been with anyone else, so it was awkward to say the least. After several attempts, it never got any better, so the relationship quickly died out. Then there was Will, my college boyfriend of two years. He came from a wonderful family and studied medicine, and at the time, he was the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was wrong … very wrong. We’d just started our senior year when I found him in bed with my roommate. I was heartbroken, and when I confronted him, he just turned everything around on me, saying I was the reason that he strayed. He never actually said the words, but I always knew it had something to do with our sex life. When we were together, I often felt cold and empty, but I assumed it was just me.
I thought my lack of experience was the reason I never really got anything out of sex, much less orgasmed, but hoped that one day it would get better. Unfortunately, that never happened. Well, it happened for him when he hooked up with my roommate JoAnn. From the way he talked, there were fireworks when they got together—explosive, miraculous fireworks brought down from the heavens above. It had never been like that with me, not even close, and since I’d never felt like that before, I thought there must be something wrong with me. And I continued to think something was wrong with me.
Until the moment Clutch kissed me. For the first time, I understood what Will was talking about when he described those fireworks he’d felt with JoAnn. I’d finally felt them myself when Clutch kissed me, and it kind of freaked me out. It nearly knocked all the wind out of my lungs when he pressed his mouth against mine, and since then, I hadn’t been able to think of anything else. I wanted more
of those fireworks to the point of completely losing it, but at the same time, I was feeling a little insecure. I wasn’t sure that I’d be able to give Clutch those same explosive feelings, so I found myself making excuses not to go to his apartment alone or I’d pull myself away from his kiss before it got too heated. I felt so torn. I wanted him. God, I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted anything else. But at the same time, I was scared I’d lose him. I felt like I was losing my mind.
My sexual frustration was causing me to be on edge, to the point that I was snapping at the kids and even some of my customers. It was getting out of hand, and I had no doubt that Clutch knew he was having an effect on me. I’d seen the little smirk he’d get after we’d kissed. He knew he was getting to me, and he didn’t even try to hide it.
I was at my limit, so I decided to take matters into my own hands.
I got off work a few minutes early, so I decided it was time to do a little shopping. I’d been by the store several times, noticing the blacked-out windows and neon lights, but until that moment, I’d never dreamed of going inside. When I first walked through the door, I was beyond embarrassed. It was like everyone was watching me as I walked down one of the aisles. I started to lose my nerve, so I turned around and started for the door. I stopped myself when I spotted what I was looking for. Like a teenager buying a bag of pot, I quickly grabbed it and rushed up to the counter. As soon as I paid, I shoved the little white bag down in my purse and headed back to the apartment.
By the time I’d gotten home, the kids had already had their supper and had finished all their homework. Knowing that I’d been a bit moody over the past day or so, they’d locked themselves away in their rooms and were quietly watching TV. I was just about to go apologize for acting like a jerk, when there was a knock at my door. Knowing it was probably Clutch, I shouted, “It’s open.”
I turned back and watched as he stepped into the apartment looking as irresistible as ever with his sexy little smile and those jeans that made it damn near impossible for me not to stare at his ass. His long-sleeved t-shirt fit snug under his cut, making me want to run my fingers over the muscles of his chest. I’d decided he’d worn it just to torment me and that only fueled my irritated mood.
With his eyes trained on mine, he started in my direction and when he reached me, his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer as he began nuzzling my neck with light kisses. Goosebumps prickled my skin as he worked his way up to my ear and whispered, “Hey there, Sunshine.”
“Hey,” I replied as my body melted into a pile of mush in his arms.
He continued to trail kisses along my jaw until he reached my lips, then softly pressed his mouth against mine. The scent of his cologne. The feel of his body. It was all too much. My senses were being seduced yet again and I couldn’t think straight. When he deepened the kiss, sending my need for him to an entirely new level of insanity, I placed the palms of my hands on his chest and gave him a quick shove.
He looked down at me, noticing the disgruntled frown on my face, and grinned as he asked, “What’s with the look?”
Oh, he knew damn well why he was getting the look, and he thought it was funny. I, on the other hand, did not. I pointed to my face and growled, “This look? Is this the look you are referring to?”
“Yeah, that’d be the one.”
I stood there glaring at him. I had a million thoughts running through my head, but I couldn’t make sense of any of them. How could I tell him that he was turning me into some sex-starved lunatic? There was no way to tell him without sounding completely demented, so I just said, “Nothing. I had a bad day.”
“Bullshit. Tell me.”
“There’s nothing to tell,” I answered as I tried to turn away from him. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”
He reached for me, stopping mid-step, and said, “I’ll get it out of you one way or another, Liv. Make it easy on yourself and just tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”
“Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it,” I snapped. He pulled me over to him and began nibbling along the curve of my neck again, and that was all it took. The dam broke and there was little I could do to stop it. “Okay! That’s it! You want to know, then I’ll tell you. I’m sexually frustrated, Clutch. Every time you touch me, I feel like a horny teenager on crack, and I’m going to completely lose it if we don’t do something about it soon. Clutch, I need to get laid … like, bad … but at the same time, the thought of being with you scares me to death.”
“You want to tell me why that scares you?”
I fanned my hand in his direction and said, “Because you’re all that. All muscled up and sexy as hell. I’m sure you’ve been with all kinds of women and done all kinds of stuff, while I’m sitting here with—”
He placed his hand on the nape of my neck, which silenced me, and said, “Don’t give my past a second thought, Liv. Since the minute I laid my eyes on you, I haven’t given a second thought to anyone else.”
“It’s just …” I stopped when I couldn’t find the right words.
His eyes locked on mine. “You just don’t get it. You’re amazing, Olivia. It blows me away that you don’t get that. The way your body lights up whenever I just get close to you … I have no doubt when that time comes, it will be worth the wait.”
“I guess I’m not doing as well as you are with the waiting.” I pointed to my purse, and before I had time to think about what I was saying, I said, “I even went to some crazy store and bought …” I stopped myself. I wanted to go back in time and erase those words from my lips, but it was too late. He was already eyeballing my purse and making a beeline for it. I rushed over to stop him as I shouted, “Stop! It’s nothing.”
He’d already started peering inside, and when he saw the little white bag, he snatched it out of my purse and with a big goofy grin on his face, he asked, “What’d you get, Olivia?”
“Nothing. Give it to me!” I screeched as I tried to take the bag from his hand.
He lifted it over his head and laughed as he said, “Oh, this has to be good. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so worked up.”
“Just give it to me, Clutch. I shouldn’t have bought the stupid thing anyway. It was a bad idea, and...”
He shook his head and brought the bag down just enough for him to take a look inside. There was no doubt that he enjoyed tormenting me. That big goofy smile on his face gave him away and it only got bigger when he started to look inside the bag. His eyes lit up when he finally saw what I’d bought and he snickered. “Well, lookie here. It’s hot pink.”
“Clutch, just give it to me.”
“I bet you can have all kinds of fun with this little sucker,” he tormented.
“Clutch!” I shouted again.
“Oh, baby. Don’t be embarrassed about it. I’m glad you got it. You’ve been driving everyone nuts with your little moods. I’d like to be the one that took the edge off, but I can wait until you’re ready for that. For now, maybe this will do the trick,” he said with a chuckle.
“My little moods?” I snapped.
“Yeah, your little moods. You’ve been wound up tighter than a girdle on a Baptist minister’s wife on Sunday.”
“You are an ass! Now give me the stupid bag.”
“You’re cute when you get flustered.” His eyes danced with mischief as he handed the sack over to me and said, “I’ve gotta say. I like that I’m getting to you. I bet this will help.”
“Just stop.”
“What? You know that in the nineteenth century, doctors used them to treat hysteria in women.”
“Hysteria? Really?” I huffed. “So, now I’m hysterical?”
“Well…” he smirked.
I dropped my head into my hands and groaned, “Just please stop talking. It’s bad enough you found my vibrator. Hearing you talk about it is making my skin hurt.”
“Oh, come on. Don’t make a big deal of it. Just have fun with it.”
Hadley popped her head into the ro
om and asked, “Have fun with what?”
As soon as I heard her voice, I closed the little white bag and shoved it in the drawer next to me. I stood in front of it with my arm crossed and smiled as I said, “Clutch was thinking of taking us all bowling.”
“Bowling? I haven’t been bowling in forever. That would be fun. When are we going?” she asked.
“I don’t know. We were just throwing out some ideas,” Clutch jumped in, “but, we’ll let you know.”
“Okay.” She looked back over to me. “Can I borrow your nail polish remover?”
“Yeah, sweetie. It’s under the bathroom sink. Just put it back when you’re done,” I told her.
As soon as she left the room, Clutch whispered, “Nice save.” Then he started laughing, and once he started, he couldn’t stop—which made me start to laugh, and before it was all said and done, we were both laughing hysterically.
With tears streaming down my face, I stammered, “You are so bad.”
“You have no idea. You have fun playing with your little toy. Just remember … someday soon, I get my turn.”
By the time Clutch had gone home and the kids were in bed, I was exhausted. I got comfortable on the sofa and turned the TV down low, hoping that I’d be able to finally get some sleep. I hadn’t been lying there long when I found myself staring at the drawer in the kitchen where my little purchase was tucked away. I rolled my eyes and turned back to face the television as I thought about how asinine it was for me to buy something like that. Since I’d never owned one, I was a little curious about how the stupid thing even worked. It was silly. There was no way I was ever going to use that crazy thing. Was I? I rolled over on my side and tried to block it from my thoughts, but only a few moments later, I found myself staring at that same damn drawer. Like they say: curiosity killed the cat.
