He nodded. “Just once—at my son’s funeral.”
Grace’s heart slammed into her chest with such force, she had to lean against the doorjamb for support. The man who stood before her was Wade’s father, Carl Davis. She looked down at the little girl standing beside him, and goose bumps erupted on her arms.
“This is your daughter.” Carl touched the child’s shoulder. “Anna, this is your mother. As I told you before, you’ll be living with her from now on.”
Anna’s eyes were downcast, and her chin quivered slightly.
Grace clung to the door, unsure of what to say or do. She was glad her long skirt hid her knees, for they knocked so badly, she could barely stand. She’d never expected to see Anna again, much less have her show up on her doorstep like this.
“How did you find me? Where have you been all this time? Why are you here?” Grace’s head swam with so many unanswered questions she hardly knew where to begin.
“May we come inside?” Carl motioned to Anna. “She’s tired from the long plane ride, and it’s cold out here.”
“Oh, of course.” Grace held the door open for them and, on shaky legs, led the way to the living room.
Carl pulled off his earmuffs and took a seat on one end of the sofa, lifting Anna into his lap. Grace seated herself in the rocking chair across from them, fighting the urge to gather the girl into her arms and kiss her sweet face. Anna looked so befuddled, and Grace didn’t want to frighten or confuse her anymore than she obviously was.
“Before I answer your questions,” Carl said, removing Anna’s jacket and then letting her turn and nestle against his chest, “I need to explain a few things.”
Grace nodded in reply, never taking her eyes off Anna—the precious little girl she’d been forced to give up four years ago.
“When Wade married you without inviting us to the wedding, my wife was devastated.”
“Where is Bonnie?”
“I’m getting to that.” Carl leaned over and placed Anna on the other end of the sofa. Her eyes had closed, and her steady, even breathing let Grace know she’d fallen asleep. “When Wade finally called and told us he had moved to Cincinnati and had gotten married, Bonnie insisted that he tell her everything he knew about you—where you were from, what your background was, and why you had convinced him to elope with you and not include us in the wedding.”
“But … but I didn’t convince him,” Grace sputtered. “Eloping was Wade’s idea, and none of our parents were invited to the wedding.” She stared down at her hands, clenched tightly in her lap. “My folks don’t know I was ever married to your son or that we had—” She drew in a quick breath. “Go ahead with what you were about to say.”
“Wade told us soon after you were married that you’d grown up in the Amish faith and that you had lived here in Holmes County, somewhere between Berlin and Charm. He said your last name had been Hostettler, and that you’d left your faith in order to marry him.”
“Actually, I hadn’t been baptized or joined the church yet.”
“I see. Well, since I knew your family’s last name and the general area where they lived, I was able to track you down.”
A lump formed in Grace’s throat. “I tried to call you and Bonnie soon after you left with Anna, but your phone had been disconnected. I wrote several letters, but they all came back with a stamped message saying you had moved and there was no forwarding address.”
“Bonnie thought it would be better if you had no contact with Anna.” Carl shifted on the sofa. “So we moved from our home in Michigan to Nevada, where we had some friends, and left no forwarding address.”
“Why are you here now after making no contact with me these past four and a half years?”
“Bonnie had a sudden heart attack a few days after Christmas and died.”
“I–I’m sorry.” Even though Grace had only met Wade’s folks when they’d come to his funeral, she’d taken an immediate dislike to his mother. Still, she took no pleasure in knowing the woman was dead.
“I’ve had my own share of health problems lately, and because of that, I won’t be able to continue caring for Anna on my own.” Carl swiped his tongue across his lower lip and grimaced. “I want you to know that I never felt good about taking your baby from you. It was Bonnie’s idea. She felt we could give Anna a better home.”
Too little, too late. Why couldn’t you have stood up to your wife back then? Why couldn’t you have offered me some financial support instead of taking my child?
Grace lifted her hands to her temples and massaged them with her fingertips. “I was so young, and … and I knew I couldn’t provide properly for a baby. I was grieving over my husband, and I didn’t know what was best for me or Anna at the time.” She paused and drew in a quick breath to help steady her nerves. “I wanted to take my little girl and go home to my folks, but I—I was afraid of their rejection.”
He opened his mouth as if to comment, but she rushed on. “Ever since the day you took Anna, I’ve felt guilty for letting someone else raise my daughter and for not having the courage to tell my family about my marriage or that I’d had a baby girl. I was too ashamed to admit I’d given up my rights as her mother, and since I didn’t think I would ever see Anna again, I decided it would be best to keep my marriage and my daughter a secret.”
He glanced around the room. “Where are they now—your family?”
“My dad’s out in his woodworking shop, Mom went to visit a friend, and my two sisters are in town shopping.”
Carl leaned slightly forward. “As I said before, I can’t take care of Anna myself, so I’ve brought her to you. You’re her mother and should have been the one caring for her these past four years, not me and Bonnie.”
Grace closed her eyes as the memory of Wade’s funeral and all that had happened afterward rose before her. It had been enough of a shock to learn that Wade had been killed, but when his parents showed up for the funeral and said they wanted to take Anna, Grace’s whole world had fallen apart.
She remembered how Bonnie had insisted that Grace let them raise the child, saying they could offer her more than Grace possibly could. When Grace refused, Bonnie threatened to hire a lawyer and prove that she was an unfit mother, unable to provide for Anna’s needs. Bonnie and Carl had promised Grace visiting rights, saying she was welcome to see her little girl anytime she could make the trip to Michigan. But that hadn’t happened because they’d moved, and Grace had given up all hope of ever seeing her daughter again.
Grace’s eyes snapped open as the reality of the situation set fully in. Wade’s father was offering her the chance to raise Anna—something she should have been doing all along. But the child didn’t know Grace, and it would be a difficult transition for both of them. Not only that, but agreeing to keep Anna would mean Grace would have to reveal the secret she’d kept from her family and Cleon. She would need to explain why she had hidden the truth.
Grace rose from the chair and knelt on the floor in front of the sofa, reaching out to stroke her daughter’s flushed cheeks. “Oh, Anna, I’ve never forgotten you.” She gulped on a sob. “I’ve never stopped loving you, either.”
Carl cleared his throat. “Are you willing to take her? Because if you aren’t, I’ll need to make other arrangements.”
Other arrangements? Grace had already lost Anna once and couldn’t bear the thought of losing her again. Regardless of her family’s response, she knew what she had to do. “I think God might be offering me a second chance,” she murmured.
“Does that mean Anna can stay?”
She nodded. “I will never let her go again.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to.” Carl rose. “I packed some of Anna’s winter clothes, and her suitcase is in my rental car. I’ll get her things and be on my way before she wakes up.” He smiled at his granddaughter as tears welled in his eyes. “It’ll be better that way.”
Grace started to get up, but he waved her aside. “No need to see me out. I’ll just get the suitcase,
bring it inside, and head back to the airport.”
For the next hour, Grace sat on the floor in front of the sofa, watching her daughter sleep and thanking God for the opportunity He’d given her to be with Anna again.
When the back door slammed shut, Grace jumped, and when she heard the unmistakable sound of her father’s boots clomping across the linoleum in the kitchen, she cringed. Her secret was about to be revealed. She could no longer hide the truth.
Chapter 18
Is anybody home?” Dad called.
Grace’s heart took a nosedive. She couldn’t let him see Anna without explaining things first. Guilt clung to her like a spider’s web to a fly. If only she could undo the past. Oh, how she wished she hadn’t kept this secret from her family.
“Grace, are you here?”
She jumped up and rushed out of the room, meeting him in the hallway outside the kitchen door.
“I figured you were here, but I wasn’t sure about your mamm and sisters. Are they home yet?” Dad asked.
“No, and I—I don’t expect them until closer to suppertime.” Grace took hold of his arm. “Uh, Dad, we need to talk.”
“Sure, I’ve got time for a little break. Just came in to refill my thermos with something to drink.” He nodded toward the living room. “Should we go in there?”
She shook her head. Panic threatened to overtake her. “Let’s go to the kitchen. I’ll pour you a glass of goat’s milk, and we can sit at the table.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Grace followed her father down the hall. When they entered the kitchen, he pulled out his chair at the head of the table and took a seat, stretching his arms over his head. “Didn’t realize how tired I was until I sat down. I’ve been working too many long hours lately.”
Grace took down two glasses from the cupboard and poured some milk.
As she handed a glass to her father, his forehead wrinkled. “Your hands are shaking. Is there something wrong? There hasn’t been another break-in, I hope.”
She shook her head and sank into the chair across from him. “We had a visitor awhile ago—an English man with a little girl.”
He took a drink from his glass and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Oh? Did they come in a car?”
“Jah.”
“I’m surprised I didn’t hear it pull into the yard. Of course, I’ve been hammering and sawing much of the day, so most outside sounds would probably have been drowned out.” He took another drink. “Who were the English visitors?”
Grace’s throat felt so dry and swollen she could barely swallow. She took a sip of milk and nearly choked as the cool liquid trickled down the wrong pipe.
“Are you okay?” Dad jumped up and thumped her on the back. “Take a couple of deep breaths.”
She coughed and sputtered, finally gaining enough control so she could speak. “There’s … uh … something I must tell you.”
“What is it, daughter? Your face is as pale as this milk we’re drinking.”
“I think you’d better sit down again. What I have to say is going to be quite a shock.”
“You’re scaring me, Grace.” He lowered himself into the chair with a groan. “Has something happened to your mamm or one of your sisters?”
She shook her head. Tears clouded her vision. “The man who was here is Carl Davis. When I was living among the English, I—I married his son, Wade.”
Dad sat, staring at Grace in a strange way. “Is this some kind of a joke? You’re married to Cleon, remember?”
“It’s not a joke. Wade was killed in a car accident, and I returned to Holmes County soon after his funeral.”
His eyebrows furrowed, nearly disappearing into the wrinkles of his forehead. “Does … does Cleon know of this?”
She shook her head.
“How come you never mentioned it before now?”
Grace gulped in some air. “I was afraid you wouldn’t understand.”
He opened his mouth as if to respond, but she held up her hand to stop him. “There’s more. I’ve been keeping another secret these past four and a half years, as well.”
“What other secret?”
She glanced toward the door leading to the hallway. “There’s a little girl asleep on the sofa in our living room. Her name is Anna, and she … she’s my daughter.”
Dad’s mouth dropped open, and his eyes narrowed into tiny slits. “Your what?”
“Anna’s my little girl. She was only six months old when her daed was killed. Then Wade’s parents took her from me and moved away.” She gulped on the sob rising in her throat and steadied herself by grabbing the edge of the table. “I was unable to contact them by phone or mail, so I finally realized I needed to be here with my family and not living in the English world on my own.”
The color drained from Dad’s face, and he slowly shook his head.
“I know it was wrong to keep this from you and Mom.” Grace reached out to touch his arm. “I was so ashamed that I’d given up my baby, and I didn’t think I would ever see Anna again, so I—”
“You’re just like your aunt Rosemary, you know that?” Dad’s fist came down hard, scattering the napkins that had been nestled in a basket in the center of the table. “How could you have done such a thing, Grace? Ach, it’s bad enough that you ran off and married an Englisher, but how could you have given up your own flesh and blood?”
“I—I didn’t want to, but Wade’s mother was so mean and pushy. She insisted that Anna would be better off with them, and she threatened to hire a lawyer and prove I was unfit to raise Anna on my own.”
“Were you unfit, Grace?”
Their gazes connected, and Dad’s pointed question was almost Grace’s undoing. “I was so young, and the only job I’d ever had was working at a restaurant as a waitress. I knew I couldn’t make enough money to support myself and Anna, and I thought—”
“You could have come home and asked for help. Surely you knew we wouldn’t have let you or your daughter starve. If Rosemary had come home, she would have been welcomed, too.”
Silence filled the air in the wake of her father’s reproof, and the tears Grace had fought so hard to hold back spilled onto her cheeks and dribbled down her chin. She didn’t understand how he could forgive whoever had broken into their home and his shop yet not forgive his sister or his own flesh-and-blood daughter. “You have every right to be angry with me,” she said with a sniff. “But no one could be any angrier than I am with myself.”
He continued to stare straight ahead, a muscle in his cheek quivering.
“Wade’s mother is dead now, and his father’s health isn’t good, so he brought Anna to me and asked that I raise her.”
Dad blinked rapidly, and he tapped his fingers against the tablecloth in quick succession. “Where is this man now?”
“He left soon after Anna fell asleep. Said it would be better that way.”
“I see.”
“Would … would you like to meet your granddaughter?”
He shook his head. “I need time to think about this. I need to understand why you would lie to your mamm and daed—why you would follow in your aunt’s footsteps.”
“I know it was wrong to keep the truth from you, but I—” Grace bit her lower lip to stop the flow of tears and pushed her chair away from the table. All she wanted to do was hold Anna and promise that she would never let her go again.
Grace left the kitchen, hurried back to the living room, and dropped to the floor in front of the sofa, where her daughter lay sleeping. Her heart thumped with fury and remorse. I should never have let Wade’s folks take Anna from me, no matter what they threatened to do. I should have packed up our things and brought my baby girl home with me, regardless of the consequences. Things would have gone better if I’d told Mom and Dad the truth right away. I should have told Cleon about Wade and Anna, too.
Grace hiccupped on a sob. Regrets wouldn’t change anything, and she knew she had to find a way to deal with her new situation.
If only Dad had shown some understanding or offered a bit of support when she’d told him about Anna instead of comparing her to Aunt Rosemary, whom she’d never even met. Would Cleon respond the same way when she told him?
She glanced at the door leading to the hallway. Should she go back to the kitchen and try to talk to her father again? Would it do any good if she tried to explain things better?
Anna stirred, and Grace held her breath, waiting to see if her daughter would wake.
The child sat up, yawned, and looked around. “Poppy? Where’s Poppy?” she asked in a small, birdlike voice.
Grace searched for words that wouldn’t be a lie. “Your grandpa went home, but he’ll come back to visit sometime, I’m sure.” She smiled, hoping to reassure the child.
Anna’s eyes opened wider. “Poppy left?”
Grace nodded. “He wants you to stay with me now because he can’t care for you any longer.” She moved closer to Anna and reached out her hand. “I’m your mother. Your grandpa said he told you about me.”
Anna scrambled off the couch and raced for the front door. “Come back, Poppy! Come back!”
Grace rushed to her daughter’s side, gathering the child into her arms. “It’s going to be all right. You’re safe here with me.”
Roman sat at the kitchen table, trying to let Grace’s news sink into his brain. He felt betrayed and didn’t understand why she’d kept her first marriage a secret or why she’d hidden the fact that she’d had a baby and had given the child to someone else to raise. The one thing Roman knew was that he was a grossdaadi, and that his grossdochder was sleeping in the next room.
His shoulders sagged, and he dropped his head into the palms of his hands. This news would affect the entire family. And what of Grace’s new husband? How would Cleon deal with things?
His thoughts shifted to a silent prayer. Dear God, haven’t we been through enough these past few months with the break-ins we’ve had? Must we now endure the shame of our daughter’s deception?
The back door opened and clicked shut, interrupting Roman’s prayer. He lifted his head as his wife entered the room.
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