“I wasn’t yelling.”
“Yes, you were.” Anna pointed at Cleon. “Your face is red, too.”
A muscle on the side of Cleon’s cheek pulsated. He debated whether he should say anything more and finally decided that if Grace chose to ignore the child’s sassy attitude, then she could deal with it, not him.
Anna hopped off her chair and raced for the back door.
“Where are you going?” Grace called to her daughter’s retreating form.
“To see Rose.”
“No! You can’t see her now.” By the time Grace started across the room, Anna had already opened the door. “Come back here, Anna!” She reached out and grabbed the child’s arm, pulling her back into the house.
“I wanna see Rose!” Anna screamed as she tried to pry her mother’s hands off her arm.
Grace’s shoulders trembled, but she kept Anna in her grip. Cleon wondered if he should step in and attempt to calm the child or if it would be best to let Grace handle things.
“Anna, listen to me now.” Grace knelt down and wrapped her arms around the child, holding her firmly until she finally calmed down. “Rose is dead. Your Aunt Martha found her that way this morning.”
Anna stiffened. She pulled away sharply. “Rose can’t be dead!”
“I’m sorry, Anna. Maybe Aunt Martha will give you another puppy when Flo has some.” Grace reached out to wipe the tears from Anna’s face, but the child jerked open the door and bolted out of the house.
Grace rushed after her. Cleon sat too stunned to move.
Chapter 36
The next few days were difficult. Anna mourned the loss of her puppy, and Grace tried to deal with the emotions swirling around in her heart like a windmill going at full speed. Her relationship with Anna had taken a step back. Her relationship with Cleon was strained and formal. Concern for her family’s safety weighed on her heavily.
If they could only learn who was responsible for the attacks and make them stop. If they could just go back to the way things were before their world had been turned upside down.
As Grace finished the breakfast dishes, she stared out the kitchen window at the tree branches swaying in the wind. Cleon had gone to work in Dad’s shop, and Anna was upstairs in her room. Thinking it might help the child get her mind off the loss of her puppy, Grace had suggested that they go to the Wengerds’ today so Anna could play with her friend Esta, but Anna hadn’t wanted to go.
The quiet and solitude of the house would have been a welcome respite on most days, but this morning, Grace felt as if she were suffocating. She wanted to rush outside and scream out her fears. Instead, she grabbed a scouring pad and scrubbed the frying pan clean. “I need to keep busy. If I keep my hands and mind occupied, I won’t have time to think about the troubles I’m facing.”
When the back door creaked open, Grace turned to see who had come in. Her mother held a gray and white kitten in her hands. “How are you feeling this morning?”
“My stomach’s settled down some, but that’s about all.”
“Things are no better with Anna’s grief over the puppy?”
Grace shook her head. “She’s not even interested in visiting her friend Esta today.”
“I’m sorry.” Mom nodded at the squirming kitten. “Martha offered Anna another puppy, but she refused, so I thought maybe I might interest her in one of Callie’s kittens.”
“Martha shouldn’t be giving her pups away, anyhow. She’ll never get her business going if she doesn’t start bringing in some money.” Grace glanced at the door leading to the hallway. “Anna’s upstairs in her room. You can offer her the kitten, but I doubt she’ll take it.”
“It’s worth a try.” Mom started toward the door but paused. “Your daed says Cleon’s working out well in his shop.”
“That’s good.” Grace went back to washing the dishes, figuring her mother would head upstairs to see Anna, but Mom moved over to stand beside her at the sink.
“Your sullen expression tells me there might be something else bothering you besides Anna grieving for her puppy. Are things any better between you and Cleon?”
The lump in Grace’s throat refused to let her say a word. She could only shake her head and shed a few more salty tears.
Mom placed the kitten on the floor and gathered Grace into her arms. “Is there anything I can do?”
Grace swallowed a couple of times, hoping to push the lump down. “I don’t think there’s much anyone can do. Cleon doesn’t trust me anymore. We’re still sleeping in separate bedrooms.”
“But he knows about the boppli, right?”
“Jah.”
“And that makes no difference?”
“I guess not. Dad told him the news before I had a chance to say anything, and now Cleon thinks I was trying to keep my pregnancy a secret from him.” She inhaled deeply. “I think, more than anything, Cleon’s upset that I was married before. I believe the thought of me having had a child with another man is too much for him to bear.”
“Puh!” Mom waved a hand. “That’s just plain lecherich. We know many widows who have married again, and their new husbands don’t sleep in separate rooms or act is if the wife has done something wrong because she used to be married.”
Grace dried her hands on a towel that had been lying on the counter. “If I’d been married to an Amish man who had died, Cleon would probably be okay with it. I think what troubles him most is that I was once married to an Englisher.”
“Has Cleon said he feels prejudiced toward your deceased English husband?”
“Well, no … not in so many words, but from some of the things he’s said, I’ve gotten that impression.” Grace dropped her gaze to the floor. “He seems to have trouble with forgiveness.”
“Then he needs to read his Bible more and start putting into practice the things he hears in church.” Mom nodded toward the back door. “Truth be told, your daed has the same problem concerning his sister. Since it’s a touchy subject with him, I try to be understanding and don’t question his feelings.” She patted Grace’s arm. “My advice is to put your relationship with Cleon in God’s hands.”
“I’ll try to be a better wife. Maybe if Cleon sees how much I love him, he’ll find it in his heart to forgive me.”
“I’ll be praying that he does.” Mom bent to retrieve the kitten. “Guess I’ll head upstairs now and see what Anna thinks about this siess little ball of fur.”
Grace smiled despite her frustrations. “It is pretty sweet, and I hope she likes it.”
“Sure am glad I hired you. You’ve been a big help to me the last few days.”
Cleon looked up from his job of sanding a straight-backed chair and smiled at his father-in-law, who stood nearby hammering nails into a set of cabinets. “I appreciate the job.”
“I know it’s selfish of me,” Roman said, “but I wouldn’t mind if you decided to forget about beekeeping and stayed right here working for me. I have no sons, so I’ll need to pass on the business to someone, and you’re a lot more dependable than my last employee.”
“I wonder how things are working out for Luke at his new job. Have you heard any complaints from John?” Cleon asked, making no comment about his interest in taking over the woodworking shop someday. He was taking one day at a time, and even if he didn’t rely solely on selling honey, he still wanted to do it on a part-time basis.
Roman pursed his lips. “John came by the other day and said he was pleased with Luke’s work, but I’m guessin’ he won’t be for long—not once that lazy fellow starts showing up late for work.” He shrugged. “But then I guess it’s not my place to judge.”
Cleon recoiled, feeling like he’d been stung by one of his bees. Had that remark been directed at him? Did Grace’s dad know Cleon hadn’t forgiven Grace? Was this Roman’s subtle way of trying to make him feel guilty?
Cleon pushed the sandpaper a little harder against the unyielding arm of the chair and grimaced. Roman doesn’t understand the way I feel. He’s not th
e one who wishes he could leave Holmes County and never look back.
Ruth smiled when she saw her youngest sister enter the bakeshop. “I didn’t know you were coming to town today,” she said as Martha stepped up to the counter.
“I got a ride from Donna Larson into Sugarcreek this morning so I could stop by The Budget and run another ad for Heidi’s remaining pups, since I’ve decided not to keep any. Then we drove to Berlin.”
“I’m sorry you lost that little pup the other day.”
Martha frowned. “Sure wish I knew how it happened and whether or not it was an accident.”
Ruth leaned on the counter. “Who would want to hurt an innocent puppy?”
“It’s hard to say, but if whoever did this is the same person who made the other attacks at our place, then I’d have to say they must be a bit ab im kopp.”
“You’re right, they must be off in the head, and I hope it’s no one we know.”
Martha glanced around the room, and her voice lowered to a whisper. “Are you thinking of Luke?”
Ruth nodded. “Dad said those sunglasses Mom found near her clothesline belonged to him.”
“How does he know that?”
“Luke came by his shop the other day, looking for his glasses.”
Martha shrugged. “So the sunglasses were Luke’s. That doesn’t prove he had anything to do with cutting the line. He may have dropped his glasses when he was heading for his buggy.”
“Jah, maybe so.” Ruth didn’t want to think the worst of Luke, but he’d acted so strangely the last few months of their courtship. Dad had mentioned that Luke had said and done some things at the shop he didn’t care for and that he’d put Luke in his place a couple of times. She supposed Luke could be nursing a grudge, but to try and get even—going so far as to kill one of Heidi’s pups? It was too much to fathom.
“Are you still going to that young people’s fellowship with Martin on Saturday?” Martha asked.
Ruth’s mouth dropped open. “I’m not going with Martin. He just asked if I planned to go and said he hoped to see me there.”
“What’d you tell him?”
“That I thought it sounded like fun and I’d try to be there.”
“What was his response to that?”
“He said he was glad and would look forward to seeing me on Saturday.”
Martha snickered. “Sounds like a date to me.”
“It’s not a date.”
“Whatever you say.” Martha winked at Ruth. “Martin’s kind of shy, but he’s also pretty cute. You’d better make sure you’re playing on his side of the volleyball net.”
“Go on with you now,” Ruth said with a wave of her hand. “And you’d better plan on going with me, because you spend way too much time at home with those dogs of yours. You need to get out more and have some fun.”
Martha wrinkled her nose. “Caring for my hund seems like fun to me.”
“That might be, but you need to be with people your age.” Ruth smiled. “Speaking of which, I was thinking that since this Sunday will be an off-Sunday from preaching, the two of us could go to the pond for a picnic.”
“That’s a fine idea. Maybe we could take Anna along, too. She’s been so sad since her puppy died. She wouldn’t even accept the kitten Mom offered her. Maybe a day at the pond will help lighten her mood.” Ruth smiled. “It might be good for Grace and Cleon to have some time alone, too.”
“Sounds good to me. We can go to the young people’s gathering on Saturday evening and spend Sunday afternoon at the pond. By Monday morning, maybe we’ll all feel a little better than we have here of late.”
Chapter 37
How was the young people’s gathering you girls went to last night?” Roman asked, nodding at his two daughters who sat to the left of him at the kitchen table.
“It was all right,” Martha said, reaching for a piece of toast.
Ruth just sat there with a dreamy look on her face.
“How about you, Ruth? Did you enjoy the young people’s get-together?”
“Jah, it was a lot of fun.”
Martha snickered. “Ruth’s in love.”
Judith’s eyebrows lifted in obvious surprise, but Roman looked over at Ruth and frowned. “Did Luke show up there? Are the two of you together again?”
Ruth shook her head. “No, Dad. Luke wasn’t there, and we aren’t a courting couple.”
He breathed out so forcefully that the air lifted a lock of hair from his forehead. “That’s a relief. As far as I’m concerned, that fellow can’t be trusted.”
Martha’s forehead wrinkled. “I’m sure Luke’s not the one responsible for the attacks against us. He doesn’t seem like the type to do something like that.”
“Jah, well, you can’t always judge a piece of wood by its color.”
Judith leaned close to Ruth. “If you’re not seeing Luke, then what did Martha mean when she said you were in love?”
Ruth lifted her gaze to the ceiling. “I’m not in love, Mom. I just got to know Martin a little better last night, that’s all.”
“Martin Gingerich?”
“Jah.”
“I talked to Abe Wengerd the other day, and he said he’d recently hired Martin as his apprentice,” Roman said.
Ruth nodded. “That’s what Martin told me. He said he thinks he’s going to like working in the boot and harness shop.”
“You should have seen the way Martin looked at Ruth,” Martha put in. “If ever there was a man in love, it has to be him.”
Ruth elbowed her sister. “Martin’s not in love with me any more than I am with him. As I said before, we’re just getting to know each other.”
“Jah, well, at least Martin’s settled down and joined the church. That’s more than I can say for Luke, who in my opinion is much too old to still be running around,” Roman grumbled.
Martha opened her mouth as if to respond, but he held up his hand. “Enough talk about Luke. Let’s get our breakfast finished and decide how we want to spend our day.”
“Since this is an off-Sunday from church, I thought it might be nice if we went calling on a few folks,” Judith spoke up.
“Martha and I had planned to take Anna on a picnic today,” Ruth said.
“We thought it might help take her mind off the puppy she lost,” Martha added.
“Besides, it will give Grace and Cleon some time alone together.”
“That’s a good idea,” Judith agreed. “Those two surely need to talk things through. With Anna out of the picture, it might be easier for them.”
Roman swallowed some coffee, then said, “If Grace hadn’t lied to Cleon, they wouldn’t have a problem.”
“She didn’t actually lie, Roman. She just withheld the facts about her previous marriage and having a daughter.”
He grunted. “From what Cleon told me, she didn’t tell him about her being in a family way, either.”
Judith shrugged, and the girls stared at their plates.
Roman grabbed a piece of toast and slathered it with a glob of apple butter. “I say we forget about Grace and Cleon’s problems and finish our breakfast.”
Grace paced between the kitchen sink and the table as she waited for Cleon to come downstairs. He’d gotten up long enough to drink a cup of coffee, but then he’d gone back to bed without eating breakfast, saying he had a headache. So Grace had fixed Anna’s breakfast and sent her off to spend the day with Ruth and Martha at the pond. She hoped a day of fun might lift her daughter’s spirits. Now if something could be done to lift her own.
The sound of footsteps on the stairs drew Grace’s attention, and she turned to greet Cleon when he entered the kitchen. “Is your koppweh gone?”
He nodded and yawned, stretching his arms overhead. “Can’t remember the last time I had a headache like that. A few more hours of sleep finally took it away, though.”
“I’m glad.” She motioned to the table. “If you’d like to take a seat, I’ll fix you something to eat.”
He glanced at the battery-operated clock on the far wall as he pulled out a chair and sat down. “It’s too late in the day for me to eat a big breakfast. Just a cup of coffee and some of those biscuits we had last night will do.”
Grace went to the stove for the coffeepot, then reached into the cupboard to retrieve a mug. After she’d filled it with hot coffee, she set it on the table in front of Cleon and went back to the counter to get the basket of biscuits. “Would you like me to warm them in the oven?”
“They’ll be fine the way they are.”
She placed the basket on the table, along with a dish of butter and a jar of strawberry jam. “Can I get you anything else?”
He shook his head.
“Ruth and Martha picked Anna up awhile ago, and they’re on their way to the pond.”
No response.
Grace pulled out the chair beside him and sat down. “I thought the two of us could spend the day together—maybe go for a walk or sit out on the porch swing and talk.” She watched his face, hoping to tell what he was thinking. His face was stoic.
He cut a biscuit in two and slathered some butter on both halves. “I’d planned to go over and see my folks today,” he mumbled. “Thought maybe I’d talk to Ivan about going in with me on some more beehives.”
“I could go along. It’s been a while since I visited with your folks.”
“I’d rather go alone.”
Grace’s heart sank. A dozen responses came to mind, but she couldn’t gather the presence of mind to verbalize one of them.
“Maybe you can spend the day with your folks,” he suggested.
She dared not say anything least she break down and cry, so she stared at a purple stain on the tablecloth until tears blinded her vision. What kind of marriage did they have with him sleeping in another room and the two of them barely speaking? Cleon had made it quite clear that he didn’t want to spend any time alone with her. Their marriage was a marriage in name only, just as Cleon had said it would be when he’d come home.
The now familiar churning in Grace’s stomach gripped her like a vise, and unable to stand the wall of silence between them, she pushed her chair away from the table and stood. One thing was certain: Only God could mend her broken marriage.
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