Illicit Artifacts

by Stevie Mikayne

  “Thanks. I’ll take my chances. Get some evidence and I’ll come with you willingly. But it seems like all you have at the moment is suspicion, otherwise I’d be arrested. Am I right?”

  She took St. Clair’s icy silence as a reply.

  Jil stood up and dropped her card on the table as she left. “When you open that casket, I plan to be there. And if you have any questions in the future, call me and ask me to come in. I don’t need any more officers at my door, treating me like a criminal.”

  As soon as she got to the car, she called Nic Fraser. Bastard owed her an explanation. But of course he didn’t answer.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Jil got home a little after midnight.

  Zeus trotted to greet her, bunting her arm with his giant head.

  “Hi, buddy. How’s it going?”

  A light switched on in the living room, and Jil followed the light to find Jess curled up on the couch.

  “Hi.” Jil blinked as her eyes adjusted from the darkness of the hallway.

  “Hey.” Jess sat up and ran a hand through her hair. “I tried to wait up for you, but I guess I fell asleep.”

  Zeus settled back down at the foot of the couch, by Jess’s feet, where, judging by the size of the dent in the cushion, he’d obviously been lying for several hours.

  “Thank you for coming. I didn’t know who else to call, with Padraig being away and everything.” Jil bent to undo her boots and slipped them off. Her feet protested the long day.

  “He’s still gone?” Jess sounded surprised.

  “Yeah.”

  “When’s he coming home?”

  “I don’t know. Hopefully, this week.”

  A silence fell between them that lasted a few beats too long. How quickly people fell out of that intimate space. Not long ago, they’d had their own shorthand, their own codes and language of touch and movement. Now, they had awkward silence—worse than a first date, because they’d already reached that first kiss and had drawn back, afraid.

  “Did he eat?” Jil asked, for something to say. Of course she knew Jess had taken excellent care of him.

  “Yes. Sorry I couldn’t take him for a walk.” Jess sighed and sat up awkwardly.

  Instinctively, Jil reached out and helped her, noticing the awkward way she propped her feet up on the coffee table. Stiff.

  She sat on the couch beside her and looked at her—really looked. “What’s happening?”

  “We’ll talk another time,” Jess said quietly. “You don’t need the details right now.”

  Jil touched Jess’s cheek softly. She didn’t pull away, so Jil trailed her fingers along Jess’s jawline and cupped her chin gently in her hand. “Whatever it is, I want to know.”

  Jess closed her eyes, pressing her cheek lightly into Jil’s palm. A tear hovered on the end of her eyelash.

  “So I take it you’re not going to be arrested?” she said, her eyes still closed.

  “No.” Jil looked down.

  “What is it?” Jess’s tone turned concerned. “They can’t seriously think you did it?”

  She attempted a smile. “I doubt it’ll stick. Seeing as I obviously didn’t kill her.”

  “Well, of course you didn’t. You were with me…” Jess’s voice trailed off. She exhaled slowly. “Which you didn’t tell them.”

  Jil shook her head. “I’m handling it.”

  They fell into silence again.

  “I was waiting for you at the coffee shop when I got your text,” Jess said.

  “I know.”

  “You do?”

  “I saw you.”

  Jess stared at her incredulously. “You were there? And then—you left?”

  Jil looked down at her hands. “Yeah.”

  “Why?”

  It seemed silly now, with Jess just inches away from her, to think of telling her how distant she’d felt. How far removed she felt now that she wasn’t part of Jess’s day-to-day life. Jess had been so omnipresent, so powerful in her own domain. Outside, things had changed.

  “When that other man came in and started talking to you…”

  Jess frowned. “Mr. Kelsey?”

  “Sure. Whoever…”

  “That’s when you left? I don’t understand.”

  Jil sighed. “Neither do I, really, Jess. I’m just worried…” She exhaled deeply and tried to think of a way to express her doubts, which now seemed so petulant. “Sometimes…I just worry that we’re never going to be able to have a relationship that doesn’t involve looking over our shoulders to make sure nobody’s watching. And then, when we are together, I forget about how terrible it makes me feel when we’re apart. Until we’re apart too long.”

  Jess drew her knees up to her chest and met Jil’s eyes. “When we’re apart, you think about how easy it would be to move on to another woman who wasn’t so complicated? Someone who’d go to the Pride parade with you and give out candy from a float?” Her voice held an edge that Jil couldn’t quite place.

  Jil sighed. “I don’t expect you to change who you are, Jess.”

  “No? I get the impression that you’d like to.”

  Jil felt her insides heat up again, and she took a deep breath to remind herself to take things slowly. One step at a time. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and all that. “I just can’t see our way clearly to the future, when I can’t count on you to be there for me.”

  “Like today?” Jess returned. She sounded a little incredulous; annoyed, maybe.

  Jil looked up. “No. Like at Elise’s funeral.” Her voice cracked. She hadn’t meant for that to happen. She thought she had tighter control over her emotions.

  Jess’s face softened. “I wanted to go with you,” she whispered. “I told you I wanted to go.”

  Jil swallowed hard. She would not cry. “And that’s exactly what I mean. You wanted to be there. I wanted you to be there. But you were at school and I was there alone.”

  “I thought about you all day. I wondered if I could pretend to be sick so I could be there, but being a Catholic funeral, someone was bound to see me, and I’d be caught in a lie. I thought of claiming to know Elise, but then if someone saw you there and me there…well, people already talk, you know. I think the stress of this double life is really the reason I’m off work right now.”

  “Wait, what do you mean? You’re on leave?”

  “Disability.” Jess almost choked getting the word out.

  Jil took both her hands. “Why didn’t you call me?”

  Jess looked away. “I didn’t know what to say. Nothing had changed. And I knew this situation was impossible for you. At first, I tried to get back to being a leader, and…” She took a shaky breath. “But going down that road meant I couldn’t have any more indiscretions.”

  “I don’t want to be an indiscretion, Jess. I want—”

  “I know,” Jess said softly. “I want that too. It’s just—it’s not easy saying good-bye to my whole life.”

  “Of course it isn’t. And that’s not what I’d expect.”

  Jess bit her lip. “Being apart from you was hard, but also, eye-opening. I saw clearly what I really wanted from my life. And I know being a lesbian isn’t something that’s going to change for me. It’s part of who I am. And I like it…”

  “Were you seeing someone else?” Jil knew she didn’t have the right to ask, but the thought of Jess sleeping with another woman made her a little sick, and she had to know.

  Jess folded her hand over Jil’s and squeezed softly. “No. It’s better with someone you love.”

  The warmth from her fingers and the light, gentle pressure sent a tingle of energy through Jil’s hands and left her body buzzing lightly. “Do you?” she wondered aloud.

  “What?”

  The words stuck on their way out of her mouth. She couldn’t say them without tears welling in her eyes. “Still love me?”

  Jess stared at her. “Of course I still love you,” she said quietly. “Why do you think I tried so hard to get over you?”
>
  Her words echoed off the walls in tiny waves that penetrated Jil’s ears over and over in a sweet buzz.

  Jess took her face in both hands and kissed her, long and slow.

  She reached back, circling Jess’s waist with her hands and pulling her in closer, tighter.

  “I just want to know one thing,” Jess said.

  “Okay.”

  “You’ve slept with other women, so…I’m just wondering…do you sometimes wish it was easier?”

  “Easier?” Jil thought of Sian’s lithe dexterity. Her stamina. The way her athletic body held her upward and the strength in her grasp. It had certainly been more acrobatic. But easier? She hesitated.

  Jess circled Jil’s nipple with one finger. “What?”

  “I kind of like taking it slow.”

  “Do you?” Jess’s voice trembled a little. “You don’t find it…I don’t know…tedious or something?”

  Jil thought about it. She’d had a lot of sex in her life, but nothing as intense as with Jess. Nothing that pulled everything out of her like this and still, somehow, left her wanting more. “No.” She kissed the top of Jess’s head. “I like it.”

  “Even if we don’t do it as often?” Jess whispered onto her neck.

  Jil grinned, and Jess tweaked her nipple. “Yeah. I’d much rather make love to you than anyone else.”

  Jess’s hand slid down Jil’s body, over her hip, then turned so their mouths could meet. They kissed, searching each other out, reconnecting. Jess’s arms encircled her, and she kissed her back more deeply, cupping the back of her head.

  A jolt shot through her body—the same electric heat that had jolted her the first time their skin had accidentally met. She felt it buzzing through her fingers and toes, behind her ears and deep between her legs.

  Jess pushed her onto her back and leaned over her, kissing her mouth hard and working her nipples until Jil gasped. Jess’s mouth moved down to her already aching nipples, sucking one, then the other into her hot mouth while her hand traveled down, pushing Jil’s thighs apart.

  When Jess’s finger made contact with her clit, Jil arched up.

  Jess kissed her mouth again, stroking her gently while waves of heat and dizziness washed over Jil like the ocean pounding the unsuspecting sand.

  Jess pulled away, kissing down Jil’s neck, across her collarbone and breasts, then down the faint line between her abs to the crest of her pubic bone.

  “No,” Jil whispered. “I will seriously die.”

  Jess kissed her mouth. “I’ll be gentle. Promise.”

  She kissed a line down again, and her hot tongue grazed Jil’s most sensitive spots, igniting them like fire rings that heated her core.

  She couldn’t stop the moan that welled up from her stomach and through her mouth. It felt so good to be fucked like this. Jess’s fingers probed and sought her permission, and Jil relaxed, loving the feeling of Jess bending her fingers up and inside her, finding and stroking her G-spot as her tongue glided over her clit—gently, like she promised.

  Her pace was slow—maddeningly slow—but exactly what Jil needed. Her orgasm built like red-hot coals, drawing energy from every cell in her body. An earthquake that started deep inside and cracked her body in every direction.

  Her hips rocked on their own and she moaned louder. Like magic, Jess’s tongue pressed harder. Pleasure surged through her, tightening her muscles and making them grip Jess’s fingers in their own sweet rhythm. “God, yes.”

  She looked down and saw the flush of Jess’s face, the curl of hair that had dampened on her forehead. Jess let out a soft moan—pleasure at seeing her orgasm—and Jil surged to the top. The waves crested between her legs.

  Jess stopped licking her, but kept her fingers inside for a few more moments before drawing them out slowly. Jil shuddered.

  Sex with Jess felt so amazing. She’d almost forgotten. Almost.

  She pulled Jess up to lie beside her and cradled her in the crook of her arm. Jess’s eyes were dark with desire, and Jil took her time touching every inch of her body with featherlight strokes of her fingertips.

  Jess began to shiver, and Jil pulled the white fleece blanket from the bottom of the bed to lay over her. “I love you,” Jess whispered.

  “I do too.” She did. She always had.

  She ran her hands up and down Jess’s thighs, warming her and relaxing her muscles at the same time.

  “It’s…”

  “What?” Jil kept her hand on Jess’s hip, gently working her fingers into her tense butt muscles. “You don’t want to…?”

  “Oh, I want to.” Jess took Jil’s hand and moved it so she could feel the slickness between her thighs.

  Jil chuckled. “Yep, I can see that.”

  “But…”

  “Don’t worry,” Jil whispered into her ear, echoing Jess’s own promise. “I’ll be gentle.”

  She turned Jess away from her so they were spooning, then pulled Jess’s top leg over her own, exposing her flesh.

  “I’m afraid,” Jess said. “I don’t want to stop, but I’ve been so sore for the past few weeks, and the last time I tried…” she trailed off, seeming embarrassed.

  “The last time?” Jil prompted her.

  “My hips locked open and—it just really hurt.”

  “Okay.” Jil stroked her face, and hair. Her heart clenched when she saw Jess’s tears on her fingertips. “Baby, it’s going to be okay.”

  “Yeah.” Jess sniffed. “I know.” Her voice wavered. “I’m just afraid of where it’s heading. What’s happening to me.”

  Jil kissed the top of her head. “It’s a setback, I know, but maybe that’s all it is. You’ve had flare-ups before, right?”

  Jess pulled Jil’s arms tighter around her waist, and Jil enfolded her gently.

  “Tighter,” Jess whispered.

  Jil squeezed tighter, locking Jess in her grip until her biceps ached.

  “Thank you.”

  They lay like that for a while, Jess’s heart beating quickly under Jil’s forearm. It slowed little by little, and as Jess shifted in her arms, Jil eased her grip, aware of Jess’s breasts under her hands.

  “It’s okay,” Jess said. “I like it.”

  Jil pressed her palms into Jess’s nipples, and Jess exhaled deeply, arching back.

  Jil felt a fresh surge of heat radiating from Jess’s body. “Just tell me what you want, and I’ll do it.”

  Jess leaned into her arms, guiding Jil’s lower hand back between her legs. “Just make me come. Please.”

  “I can do that.”

  Jil took her time, caressing Jess’s skin across her neck and stomach, kissing her earlobe and the edge of her hairline. She took the weight of Jess’s body, draped across her own, careful not to let Jess’s hips open too wide.

  Listening carefully to the sounds of her breaths and moans, she found a gentle, steady rhythm. Jess’s clit expanded under her fingers and she stroked along the shaft, drawing louder sounds from Jess’s mouth. Her hand got slicker as Jess got wetter, and within seconds, Jess’s clit pulsed pink and ripe.

  Suddenly, Jess’s thighs shuddered and Jil stopped.

  “Take a break?” she asked.

  “Just for a sec.”

  Jil made lazy circles on Jess’s inner thighs, squeezing her breast with her free hand. Jess turned to kiss her, and Jil bit her lower lip gently as she rolled Jess’s nipple between her fingers.

  “You okay?” Jil whispered when she pulled away.

  “So good,” Jess whispered back.

  Jil massaged her thighs, her hips, until Jess’s pelvis rested, relaxed, against her again. “Let me know.”

  Jess kissed her again, her eyes rolling back as Jil squeezed her nipple.

  “It could take a while.”

  “Luckily, I have nowhere else to be.” Jil brushed Jess’s lip with her thumb and kissed her softly.

  “Thank God for that.” She sighed and guided Jil’s hand back between her legs.

  Jil started again
, this time taking in wider circles. Jess’s weight on her pushed her down into the bed, but she’d never felt so solid—so secure. She held her, stroking her like a delicate instrument.

  Jess’s breathing changed again, a shallow, edgy panting, and Jil eased up.

  “Still okay?” she said.

  “God, yes.”

  But as Jess started to climb, a muscle in her butt clenched. Jil felt the movement on her thigh before Jess gasped in pain. She wrapped her legs around Jess’s thighs, holding her until the spasm passed, then let Jess resume the way she wanted to.

  Jess rested her hand lightly over Jil’s and guided her hand, pulling up and pressing down, playing herself to the crest.

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  Jess turned on the kettle as Jil put the bread in the toaster.

  “It’s weird to have you waking up with me in this house.”

  Jess shrugged. “Two people, three houses to watch. I guess equal time in each is logical, right?”

  Jil laughed. “Yours is getting the short end of the stick then.”

  Jess reached to take down the teapot and loose-leaf tea.

  “See? Making yourself at home already.”

  “I feel sympatico with Elise,” Jess said. “I would have liked to meet her.”

  “Me too.” Jil tried to smile but found tears clouding her eyes.

  Jess put her arms around Jil’s neck, kissing the top of her head lightly.

  “It’s okay to miss her. You don’t have to pretend it’s easy being orphaned.”

  Jil snorted. “Twice!”

  “That’s right,” Jess said, as if the thought had just occurred to her. “You’re far too young for that.”

  Jil hugged her back, expecting to hate feeling like she needed Jess to hold her, but finding she didn’t mind. It didn’t make her feel weaker.

  “I don’t know why it bothers me so much. It’s not like she owed me anything. It’s not like she was my real mother. If she didn’t love me, if I was a convenience to her—a front—what difference does it make? She clothed me, fed me, made sure I got my education…” She broke off. This road was rough with emotional potholes.

  “Of course it matters,” Jess said softly.