by P. C. Cast
“Danita, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Antreas said. He stood and began to move toward her, but Danita cowered back against the debris pile and he halted, holding his hands out as if in surrender. “Danita.” He spoke more slowly this time as he crouched so that he didn’t tower over her. “Everything is okay. I would never, ever hurt you. You’re safe. I promise. Bast promises. Do you think she’d let anyone hurt you?”
“N-no,” Danita stuttered. Then she blinked, as if waking from a nightmare, and tears filled her eyes. “Antreas! I—I’m sorry. I’m so embarrassed.” She turned her face from him and buried it in Bast’s thick, soft coat, and began to sob.
“Hey, it really is okay. I understand,” Antreas said soothingly to her.
“No, it’s not okay.” Danita lifted her tear-tracked face to look at him. “I do know you wouldn’t hurt me, and I actually wanted to kiss you, but then everything changed and suddenly I was back there, with them—the men who raped me.”
“I know, I know.” Antreas felt lost. He wasn’t sure what to say—what to do—to help Danita, so instead he sat not far from her and decided to just be there. “It’s understandable that you had a flashback. I should’ve been more careful—I should’ve thought before I acted. This is my fault.”
“No! It’s theirs. Not yours. Not mine. But I have to live with what they did—what they have left me with—not you. I care about you and Bast so, so much, but I can’t ever be your mate.” She pressed her face into Bast’s fur again and sobbed.
The big feline looked at Antreas and coughed.
“Danita, may I come closer to you?” Antreas asked gently.
“Y-yes.” Danita’s voice was muffled by tears and fur.
Antreas slid forward. Bast was on Danita’s right side, so he positioned himself on her left.
“Would it be okay if I put my arm around you?”
She looked up at him, snot and tears mixing with Lynx fur and dirt from her fall. “Y-yes. I would like that.”
Antreas thought he’d never in his life seen anyone as beautiful as his Danita. He put his arm around her. She stiffened for a moment, and Antreas waited, not moving, not tightening or loosening his grip on her shoulders—he simply sat there until he felt her relax against him, and then finally she rested her head against him.
“I’m sorry that I’m broken,” she said.
“You’re not broken. They didn’t break you. They only changed you.”
“Changed me for the worse.”
“Don’t say that! You get to decide what the change means—not me—not even Bast—not anyone but you.”
She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked up at him. “You and Bast should stop this.”
“This what?”
“This wanting me to be with you,” she said, wiping her face with her sleeve.
Moving slowly and carefully, Antreas brushed aside a long, dark curl of hair that had fallen across Danita’s face. “Bast and I aren’t so easily frightened away.”
“But you don’t want a mate who can’t stand your touch.”
“I’m touching you now and you seem fine,” he said.
“This is different. You’re comforting me because we’re friends, but you want more than that,” she insisted.
“Don’t you?” Antreas asked.
“I used to. I wanted babies—lots of babies. And now Mari and Sora say I might not be able to get pregnant, even if I could bear to be touched like that,” she said.
“I’d like to swear an oath to you—right now—right here.”
“What kind of oath?” Danita asked, sniffling.
“Well, it’s two-part. First, I swear that I will never hurt you—not physically,” he said.
Danita cocked her head to the side, studying him. “But what about hurting me mentally?”
Antreas’s lips quirked up. “I would like to swear that as well, but over the past weeks I’ve realized that I really don’t know much about women, which means I will definitely mess up—unintentionally—in my courting of you.”
Danita’s brows went straight up, and Antreas thought her gray eyes got even bigger. “You think you’re courting me?”
He sighed. “See, I already messed up because I thought you knew that.” Antreas watched Danita try to hide her smile. “And now you’re laughing at me. I think I better go back to Sora for more lessons.”
“Sora? Lessons?” Danita squeaked. “You told her you’re courting me?”
“Well, sort of. She explained to me how Earth Walkers Choose their mates, which is why I know I’m supposed to court you—though it seems I’m not doing a good job of it. What have I missed?”
“Earth Walker males give a gift to the woman they wish to court,” said Danita.
“Eggs! I gave you gull eggs. Did you break them?”
Danita felt the front of her shirt. “No, they’re still whole, and you didn’t give them to me. I found them!”
“Okay, how about those blue jay feathers I gave you before you danced your name to the Goddess?”
Danita rolled her eyes. “Bast found those for me, not you. All you did was hand them to me.”
“See, I told you I was doing a bad job at this courting thing.” But Antreas’s heart felt lighter as Danita seemed more and more like herself again. “Maybe I’m the broken one in this relationship.”
“Don’t tease about it—it’s awful to be broken.”
“But you aren’t. You, Danita, are just exactly as you should be. I would not change you if I could.”
Danita met his eyes, and he saw that hers were filling with tears again.
“Ssh, don’t cry. Bast and I are here. We’ll always be here.”
“But what about—” She broke off on a sob.
Antreas touched her face gently, wiping away a tear with his thumb. “We’ll figure it out—the three of us. And that’s the second part of my oath to you. Do you accept my oath?”
“If I do does that mean you think I’m accepting you as my mate?” she asked.
“No. It means you accept that I’m courting you.”
Danita drew in a deep breath, and as she loosed it she said, “Yes. I will accept your oath. Though this might be the longest courtship in Earth Walker history.”
Antreas’s smile blazed. “That’s fine with me. Bast taught me patience a long, long time ago.”
* * *
“Antreas, you have officially made my morning,” Sora said after spooning the last of the eggs into her mouth and then letting little Chloe lick her spoon. She’d scrambled the eggs the Pack had gathered and served them with the leftover stew. “You were completely right about these eggs, and I hope we can find more tonight.”
“If we’re lucky we will! Gulls only lay eggs for a short time once per year—and that time is now,” Antreas said.
Mari smiled at the group of happily eating canines. “Rigel sure seems to love the shells added to his food. I thought you were kidding when you told us about putting them in their food, but you were right about that, too.”
“I’m not sure why canines—and my Bast—like the shells so much, but they do,” Antreas said.
“Must be good for them, and your Bast is certainly in excellent health,” Nik said.
“She is!” Antreas agreed. “And now that everyone has eaten a warm breakfast, it is time to cast off again. Is the Pack good with the boat assignments?”
Mari’s eyes scanned the Pack, taking in all forty-two people. She and Sora and Nik had worked with Antreas on the rearranging of the boat assignments, so she was especially relieved when no one spoke out or looked upset.
“Okay then—let’s bury this fire and stow the rest of the bowls and get on our way. Looks like we might not get rained on today, which is nice,” Antreas said.
“Why does it sound like there is a ‘but’ coming next?” Sora asked, making the Pack laugh nervously.
“Because you are wise, Moon Woman,” Antreas said. “We have about two hours of paddling before we mee
t our next obstacle. As long as the light is good the broken bridge won’t be much of a problem, and as it looks to be a clear day that is excellent news. The second obstacle, Bonn Dam—or rather what is left of it—is trickier. So my plan”—he paused and nodded to Mari and Sora—“if okayed by our Moon Women, is to travel a mere six hours today and then stop early and get a solid night’s rest so that we can be ready for the dam crossing tomorrow.”
Mari and Sora shared a glance, then Mari spoke up. “That sounds good. The break will also help with our hands.” The Moon Woman addressed her Pack. “Today everyone must wrap their hands, and if your blisters break call either Sora, Jenna, or me immediately. We’ll dress your wound and see if you need to be relieved from paddling or rowing—depending on the severity of your blisters.”
“I would like to help with the dressing of the wounds, too,” Danita said. “I’ll be in Antreas’s boat, and the two of us can maneuver a lot quicker than the bigger boats. I’ll take some salve and bandages, and if someone needs more than just a dressing change I can bring them to one of our Healers.”
“We can bring them to one of our Healers,” Antreas corrected gently.
“You’re right—we can.” Danita shot Antreas a sassy smile before tickling the top of Bast’s head. “Right, Bast?”
The big feline chirped and rubbed against Danita’s legs while Antreas looked on with an amused smile.
“That’s a good idea,” Sora said. “And remember, all of you, keeping your wounds a secret—any wound—is not helping your Pack. If we don’t know about it we can’t fix it.”
“And individual untreated weaknesses only make the entire Pack weak,” Mari added. “Antreas, I would ask that we camp somewhere tonight that is not on the water. It’s a Third Night, so Sora and I will be Washing the Pack, and even though I called down the moon last night while we were on the water, I vastly prefer feeling land under my feet.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem,” said Antreas. “And I have a task for the weavers in our Pack that will probably be easier for them to begin on solid ground.”
Mari thought she could almost see the ears of the Earth Walkers perking at the mention of weaving. Before they’d decided to join as a Pack, they had been part of Clan Weaver, and had grown up tending plants and weaving beautiful and functional things made from those plants.
“Remember I mentioned that we would be traveling past different types of peoples on our journey?” Antreas asked.
Intrigued, the Pack nodded.
“We will meet those peoples as we cross through Bonn Dam. They are called Tribe Saleesh and are mostly a peaceful people, but they completely control the land around the dam, as well as the river from the dam all the way to Lost Lake. In order to pass safely we must pay them a token at each of their villages, though the first is the most important.”
“A ‘token’? What does that mean?” Mari asked.
“A gift. For a group this size a couple of our travel cocoons and perhaps some hair decorations should suffice.” He paused and then added, “They do love fragrant smoke. I forget what they call it, but they use it in their religious practices.”
“I could wrap some of the dried herbs together. Lavender and sage make sweet-smelling smoke,” Mari said.
“That would be perfect. Actually, their senior priest would especially like the herb sticks,” said Antreas.
“Aren’t the Saleesh also called Teteplates?” Wilkes asked.
“Only if you’re trying to offend them. Their servants are called Teteplates—not them,” said Antreas.
“Servants?” Danita frowned. “I don’t like the sound of that.”
“Yeah,” Jenna said as she finished cleaning her bowl and packing it into her basket. “Do you mean servants or slaves?”
Antreas shrugged. “They call the Teteplates their servants. I don’t know them intimately, but I have made the dam crossing several times, and even stayed the night in their camp. The Teteplates seem happy. They’re free to come and go. But they do serve the Saleesh.”
“What do the Saleesh give them in return for their service?” Mari asked.
“Their payment is through food and lodging. The Saleesh are incredible farmers and spend almost all their time tending their crops—up and down the river, which they use as irrigation. Their tribe is nomadic, so they never stay in one camp too long. The Teteplates don’t tend crops or hunt. They care for the Saleesh—keep their homes clean, look after their children, make their clothes, and a lot of other things, but they never worry about going hungry or not having shelter.”
“I don’t know if that sounds fair,” said Jenna.
“It’s their culture, and their people—Saleesh and Teteplates—thrive.” Antreas cleared his throat before continuing. “Something you all must understand is that we are not in a position to judge the practices of other Tribes and Clans. If someone is in trouble, we may help them—especially if they are injured. But it is not our business or our right to interfere in the lives of others, especially when we do not truly know them.”
Jenna opened her mouth, obviously ready to argue with Antreas, but Mari’s raised hand silenced her.
“What Antreas says is wise. It takes a special kind of arrogance to believe that our way is the best way—or the only way—to live, and that everyone who chooses differently is wrong or somehow lesser than us. Isn’t that the kind of thinking that allowed the Tribe to enslave Earth Walkers for generations? They believed their needs and beliefs were superior to ours—yet they knew nothing about us except that we made plants grow. They saw us as childlike because they did not understand us. Let us not make their mistake.”
“I agree with Mari,” Sora said. “If we’re asked for help, that is one thing, and we will try to give it.”
“If giving help doesn’t put the Pack in danger, correct?” Nik said.
“Correct,” Mari agreed.
“But if we are not asked for help, then we should not meddle in that which is not our business,” finished Sora.
“That sounds reasonable as well as wise,” Nik said. “And Mari is right. The Tribe of the Trees was arrogant. We believed we were superior to others, especially Earth Walkers. We were wrong, and look where the Tribe is now—what is left of it is led by hatred. It sickens me.” He turned to Mari. “I fully support respecting the ways of others and not judging them.”
Mari’s heart filled with appreciation for her lover. This was Nik publicly supporting her and showing respect for her—proving to her that he would be the mate she needed him to be.
“I agree with Nik and Mari and Sora,” Wilkes said, stepping up beside Nik. “It makes me sad, but the Tribe took a wrong path some time ago, and that path allowed our people to accept Thaddeus’s hatred as their rallying cry. I watched it happen from the inside, and I never want to be part of anything like that again.”
“Thank you, Nik and Wilkes,” said Mari. “Pack? Do you agree?”
“Agreed!” they shouted.
“All right then, we mind our own business,” Antreas said, obviously relieved. “Let us cast off. The sun is just topping the pines, so the timing is perfect.”
“I would ask our Moon Women if we could wait just a few moments before we cast off while those of us who choose to do so join me in greeting the sun,” Nik said.
“Of course! I’m sorry I didn’t think of it,” Mari said. “Pack, those of you who wish to greet the sun, please follow our Sun Priest … where, Nik?”
“Here on the beach is just fine.” Nik moved to a spot a few yards away from the water and turned to the east and the sun that was just topping the pines. “Spread out behind me and face the sun.”
“Nik, do we have to be Companions to greet the sun?” Jenna asked, sounding hesitant and unsure of herself.
“No! Absolutely not! Anyone may greet the sun,” Nik said.
“Well, then, I would like to try it,” Jenna said. “I saw the Tribe greeting the sun while I was a prisoner. I used to wonder why a people who cou
ld be so beautiful and loving could also be so cruel.”
Wilkes went to Jenna and put his hand gently on her shoulder. “We took a wrong path, but no more. Never again. Please join us.” The Warrior’s gaze took in the Pack, and he met the eyes of each Earth Walker. “Those of us who are here have changed—we woke up. I give you my oath as a Companion on that.”
With tears filling her eyes, Mari watched almost the entire Pack spread out behind Nik and Laru and the rest of the Companion pairs.
“Want to join them?” Mari asked Sora.
Sora shrugged and tucked Chloe into the sling that held the puppy close to her heart. “Might as well. It’s part of Chloe’s culture. Maybe she’ll like it.”
Rigel bounded up to Mari, wagging eagerly. “There you are! Ready to greet the sun?”
But before they could join Nik, Mari felt a touch on her back.
“Moon Woman?”
She turned to see Lily and Dove. “Yes?”
“Might we join the greeting of the sun, too?” Dove asked.
“Of course,” Mari said firmly. “Come with Sora and me.” Mari watched how Lily guided Dove as they joined Nik, who frowned slightly at the two Skin Stealers, but said nothing.
Nik stood a little way in front of everyone, and even Mari held back a few steps, mimicking the other Companions. Wilkes led the way. He and his Odin chose to stand behind and to the left of Nik. Claudia and her Mariah were beside him. Davis rushed up, with Cammyman bouncing and huffing happily. Rose was next, with Fala and four of her five pups curling up in the sand.
Sheena and her Captain stepped into place to the right of Sora, with O’Bryan beside her. Then Rigel barked twice, and Mari felt his encouragement. She glanced behind them to where the young Shepherd was staring to see Jaxom and Fortina hanging back and looking very unsure.
“Please, Jaxom. Join us,” Mari said.
“Yeah, Jaxom!” O’Bryan motioned to the empty spot beside him. “Come on up here by me. Your Fortina will love greeting the sun.”
Jaxom’s cheeks were red, but when Fortina trotted up to O’Bryan, he followed.
And then Mari watched Jenna step into place behind her. Danita joined her, with Bast and Antreas. Then it was as if the Earth Walkers collectively decided it was okay, and they all—the entire Pack—spread out across the beach.
