by P. C. Cast
“Do you understand now why I don’t want any of us to get overconfident?” Antreas took Danita’s hand again and squeezed it affectionately.
“I do. I’ll be more careful.”
“Be careful and watchful, but that doesn’t mean I want us to lose the joy of traveling up this magnificent river on a beautiful day,” Antreas said, meeting and holding Danita’s gaze. “Don’t lose your joy—but also don’t lose your balance.”
Danita grinned at him, her embarrassment completely gone. “I won’t!”
Mari loved watching Antreas’s exchange with Danita. She felt so proud of the Lynx Companion. Just weeks ago he had been aloof and closed off—and now here he was, being unashamedly compassionate with Danita in front of the entire Pack.
“Maybe he is worthy of her,” Mari said softly, more to herself than to Nik.
“That’s almost exactly what I was thinking,” Nik said, sotto voce. “And I don’t need to be a Clansman to see that he is definitely courting Danita.”
“And she’s definitely accepted his courtship,” Mari whispered back. “I think it’s wonderful.”
Nik leaned toward her, and she met him halfway so they could share a long kiss that had Rigel’s and Laru’s tails thumping in unison against their ballasts.
“Hey, you two, be careful!” O’Bryan called. “Those ballasts won’t save you from tipping.”
“But a dip in the river will cool you two off!” said Jenna, giggling.
The Pack chuckled and Mari used her paddle to throw water at Jenna, which only made her giggle harder.
Smiling, Antreas held up his hand, and the Pack quieted. “We have five more hours of travel to go, which will take us to a place where we can safely beach for the night. It will only be mid-afternoon when we get there, so we’ll be able to rest, pitch camp, and maybe even do a little fishing before moonrise. Mari, Sora, you did say it is a Third Night, did you not?”
“We did!” Sora called, and Mari nodded in agreement.
“Good! Then it should be a magickal night,” said Antreas. “Ready to paddle on, Pack?”
With an enthusiastic cheer and quite a bit of barking, the Pack continued upriver.
* * *
Though they beached early, the Pack was dragging after seven concentrated hours of steady river travel. They’d gone from singing and laughing to silently bending their backs to the task of propelling the boats ever forward when Antreas finally shouted, “Follow me to beach the boats straight ahead!”
The relief that ran through the Pack was almost palpable. One boat at a time, they wearily grounded on a tongue of flat, silty beach at the base of a huge gray monolith of a rock that jutted into the sky. They quickly made camp, creating a fire as their central point, and then spreading out around it. O’Bryan and Mason baited hooks and waded into the river, trying for fish to add to Sora’s stew. Several of the Earth Walkers began digging for fresh wapato, and Sora promised to part with some of her precious salt stash to add savory flavor to the fibrous roots.
The rest of the Pack were resting and chatting easily. A few of the Earth Walkers were giving weaving lessons to Lydia, Sarah, and—surprisingly—Dove and Lily as they finished the travel cloaks they would gift the Saleesh people with the next day when they entered their territory. Mari had been shocked by Dove’s interest in weaving, but she had explained that she could feel the patterns with her hands, and she seemed content to sit with the other weaving women and work. Mari thought that she almost appeared to be part of the Pack. Almost.
Done checking on the wounded members of the Pack, Mari sat beside Sora. Little Chloe was lying between Sora’s feet gnawing on a waterlogged stick. Mari ruffled the fur on the top of the puppy’s head and the little girl wagged her small tail and greeted Mari with a quick lick before going back to chew on her stick.
“I don’t think I’ll ever understand why canines like chewing so much,” Mari said.
Sora smiled down at her pup. “It is strange, but O’Bryan told me that it feels good to young canines to chew because it helps their teeth to come in.”
“I suppose that makes sense. Rigel’s certainly obsessed with chewing. I wonder if we could come up with something better for our young canines to chew on than sticks and rocks and whatever else they can fit into their mouths,” said Mari.
“That’s a thought. Maybe we could weave a smaller version of a net ball and offer that to the pups. At the very least it wouldn’t splinter in their mouths,” said Sora.
“I’ll talk to some of the older women about it. They can weave almost anything into being,” Mari said. Then they sat in easy silence as Sora added herbs and handfuls of dried vegetables to the stew she was preparing. “I like watching you cook,” Mari told her friend.
“Does that mean you’re actually paying attention so that your dismal cooking skills get better?” Sora asked.
“Absolutely not. I like watching you like I watch the river. I enjoy gazing at the mystery—not trying to become the mystery.”
“I’m going to take that as a strange compliment,” Sora said.
“It was meant as one.” Mari tilted her head back and looked up at the rock that dominated the landscape almost as much as the wide river did. “That thing is enormous. It gives me a weird feeling. I’m not sure I like it.”
“Antreas told me they call it Rooster Rock, though I am not sure why,” Sora said, looking up at the rock with Mari. “Of course, I don’t have any idea what a rooster is, so it might have looked just like that.”
“I kinda like it,” Danita said, plopping down beside them after kissing Chloe on the top of her head. “It looks so strong and wise. Antreas told me a rooster is a bird. He said they have them on the Plains of the Wind Riders and their eggs are almost as delicious as gull eggs.”
“Oooh!” Mari’s attention instantly shifted from staring at the hulking rock to Danita. “Did he say there might be gull eggs here? They were delicious.”
“He and Bast went to look. Antreas didn’t sound hopeful, but Bast did.”
“Then I will happily plan for gull eggs. That feline knows things,” Sora said.
“She sure does,” Danita agreed.
Mari and Sora shared a glance, then Sora cleared her throat and said, “So, Danita, it appears as if Antreas is courting you.”
“Yes,” she said, but Danita’s gaze went down and she picked at the pebbles around her feet.
“You accepted him?” Mari asked.
“Yes,” Danita said, her eyes still downcast. “But I shouldn’t have.”
“Do you not like him?” Sora said.
“No! I mean, yes. I like him. A lot.”
“But as a friend? You’re not attracted to him?” Mari asked.
“I’m attracted to him,” Danita said softly.
Sora and Mari shared another look before Mari spoke gently. “You can talk to us. It might help.”
Danita lifted her head. Tears pooled in her eyes. “I like him. I may even love him. I know I love Bast. But it was selfish of me to accept his courtship, because I can’t ever be his mate.”
“Because you’re afraid you can’t have sex with him?” Sora asked.
“Sora!” Mari said.
“What? I’m just saying what we’re all thinking.”
“Sora’s right. It’s what I’ve been thinking, because it’s the truth,” Danita said miserably.
“Hey,” Mari said. “It’s only the truth right now. It doesn’t have to be the forever truth.”
“I know a little of what you’re feeling,” Sora said, stirring the bubbling cauldron. “Thanks to Nik I was attacked, but not raped. I think I understand as much as anyone who has not lived your experience can. Even though logic tells me Jaxom was not himself when he and the other two Clansmen attacked me—and I know Jaxom. I’ve known him all my life, so I also know that in his right mind he would never hurt me. Still, I can barely look at him without being filled with anger. And I have not allowed a man to touch me intimately since that horribl
e day.”
“Do you think you’ll ever be able to be touched by a man, by a mate, again?” Danita asked.
“I know I will. I’m not going to let violence and hatred win. This is how I look at it—if what happened to me stops me from opening myself to the love of a mate, then all that was terrible about that day wins.”
“Danita, you have to give yourself time to heal,” Mari said.
“But my body feels so much better,” she said.
“It isn’t just your body that needs to heal. It’s your mind, too,” Mari said gently.
“But how do I heal my mind?”
“By talking. By letting us help you. By being kind to yourself and not pushing for too much too fast.”
“Sora’s right. If you keep all your fears and anger inside and don’t share them, they’ll get bigger and bigger,” Mari said. “I haven’t been attacked like the two of you have, but I do know about what happens when you keep sadness and anger and fears inside. They eat away at you. I did that after Mama died. I disappeared into my grief. Thankfully, Rigel and Sora wouldn’t leave me alone. They forced me to open up and rejoin the world. Danita, I give you my word as a Moon Woman that I will not leave you alone.”
“You have my word as well,” Sora said. “We’re going to help you heal—mind and body.”
“Do you really think there’s a chance I can be normal again? That I can be intimate with Antreas?”
“Yes,” Sora said.
“Absolutely,” Mari said.
Danita quickly wiped away her tears. “Thank you, Moon Women. Thank you so much.”
Making her unusual coughing sounds, Bast padded up to Danita, sniffing her wet face and rubbing against her while she sent Mari and Sora yellow-eyed looks that said she was blaming them for the girl’s tears.
“I’m fine. No, everything is okay.” Danita caressed the big feline, kissing her nose and rubbing her face in Bast’s soft ruff.
“What’s happened?” Antreas jogged up, brow furrowed and breathing hard. “Bast took off. Told me Danita’s upset.”
“I’m fine. I was just talking with Mari and Sora about, um, my problem,” Danita said without making eye contact with Antreas.
“Hey.” Antreas crouched before Danita. “It’s not a problem. Nothing about you is a problem.”
“That’s pretty much what we’ve been saying, too,” Sora said.
“Moon Women are wise. I think you should listen to them,” Antreas said.
“I’m listening. And I’ll keep listening.” Danita took Bast’s face between her hands and gently chided, “And you shouldn’t worry him like that.”
The Lynx coughed and then settled down to groom herself beside Danita.
“For those of you who do not understand Lynx-speak, let me translate,” Antreas said. “Bast is definitely not done worrying me about Danita.”
“I got that. How ’bout you, Mari?” Sora teased.
“Loud and clear,” Mari said.
“Hey, I found something for you. Hold out your hand,” Antreas said to Danita.
She held out her hand. The Lynx Companion reached into his pocket and then plopped a dappled gull egg in the middle of her palm.
Danita gasped happily. “You found a gull egg!”
“Thankfully, I found a lot more than one,” Antreas said. “They’re in nests that cover the side of Rooster Rock. It’ll take a little climbing, but there are enough for the entire Pack to have them for breakfast.”
“I told you that feline knows things,” Sora said.
“Antreas, you just made me look forward to the morning,” Mari said.
“I think we can spare a little garlic and onion to add to the morning scramble,” said Sora.
“That’s going to be delicious!” Danita clapped happily.
“Is this a party that I’m missing?” Nik asked as he and Davis joined them, with Laru, Rigel, and Cammy trotting at their heels.
“No, just girl talk,” Mari said.
“Antreas isn’t a girl,” Davis said.
“What?!” Sora gasped in mock surprise, causing Danita to giggle.
“Hey, Sora, how long do we have until dinner?” Nik asked.
“That depends on whether O’Bryan and Mason are having any success with catching fish.”
“We just checked in with them, and they are,” Nik said.
“They need more time, though,” Davis added. “They said another hour and they’ll have enough fish to fill the stew.”
“And I saw the women digging the wapato,” Antreas said. “They should be bringing you a very large pile soon. I believe after they wash the roots they’re going to collect leaves to wrap them in for baking.”
“Good.” Sora squinted up at the sky. “Then I’d say another couple hours and it’ll be sunset. We’ll Wash the Pack then. Afterwards it’ll be time to eat.”
“Fantastic!” Nik’s eyes glittered with excitement. “That’s definitely enough time.”
“Absolutely! I’ll go get Wilkes, Claudia, Sheena, and Rose,” Davis said before he and Cammy sprinted off down the beach.
“What are you two planning?” Mari asked, smiling at her lover.
“I’m planning to show you how to shadow-dance with Rigel,” Nik said.
“Shadow-dance? What does that mean?” Mari asked.
“It’s a game the Tribe plays, but it’s really more than a game. It’s about the bond between human and canine, and it’s about fun,” said Nik.
“Can Chloe and I play, or is she too young?”
“Chloe Chose a Companion, which means she’s old enough to play, but you could check with Rose to be sure,” said Nik.
“What about Bast and Antreas?” Danita asked.
“Have you ever seen a shadow dance?” Nik asked Antreas.
“I have. Several times, actually.”
“Did you and Bast join in?” Danita asked.
Antreas looked surprised. “Well, no. We were never invited to join.”
“I can change that right now. Antreas, would you and your Companion like to join us in the shadow dance?” Nik asked.
Antreas shared a long look with Bast, and the feline chirped at him, making Antreas grin. “I’d like to accept half of your invitation. Bast wants to dance, but not with me. She wants to dance with Danita.”
“Me?” Danita squeaked.
“Why not? You danced your name to the Goddess. You’re good at dancing,” Antreas said. Bast circled Danita excitedly, rubbing against her and purring.
“Is their connection strong enough?” Nik asked.
Antreas, Mari, and Sora answered together with a resounding “Yes!”
Nik chuckled and shook his head. “Mari and Sora, you two have never seen a shadow dance. How do you know Danita’s connection with Bast is strong enough for it?”
“Nik, Bast was hunting eggs with Antreas. Danita was here talking with Sora and me. She was upset. Bast knew it even though she could not see or hear Danita,” Mari explained.
“Well, to be completely fair, Bast’s eyesight is remarkable, so she might have been able to see Danita, but I stand by my answer. My Bast’s connection with Danita is strong enough for the dance,” Antreas said. His gaze found Danita again, and his whole face changed and softened with affection. “You and Bast can do it. I know you can. And I will love watching.”
Mari watched Danita closely to see if Antreas was being too pushy, but the pleased smile that lit her face told the truth—Antreas wasn’t forcing her into anything. Danita was quite clearly falling in love with the Lynx man.
“I’m not sure what I’m getting myself into, but I’ll try,” said Danita.
The rest of the Companions joined them then. There was a festive air about them, and even Laru was wagging and showing puppyish excitement.
“A shadow dance! It has been far too long,” said Claudia. “Right, Mariah?” The beautiful Shepherd barked in happy agreement.
“This is going to be fun!” Davis said as Cammy jumped around him, huffing
merrily.
“Could someone watch Fala’s pups so she and I can join the dance?” Rose asked.
“Dove and I would very much like to take care of Fala’s puppies.” Everyone turned to see Lily leading Dove up to them.
Mari held her breath, wondering at Rose’s response.
Rose and Fala shared a long look, and then Rose began unwrapping the sling she’d taken to wearing since the girl pup had fallen into the river the day before, and walked over to Lily and Dove. She carefully handed Lily the pouchlike carrier and the four squirming pups within. “Take good care of them, please.”
“Oh, we will!” Lily said.
“Thank you, Rose,” Dove said. “Thank you for trusting us with Fala’s babies.”
“We share a boat, and I’ve watched how tender you are with them,” said Rose. “They like you. Both of you.”
“We like them!” Lily gushed, kissing one of the puppies.
Mari released her breath, and with an audible sigh, so did the Pack. Even the Earth Walkers, who knew almost nothing about canines, understood that Rose had just taken an important step in trusting the two Skin Stealers with the puppies, which filled Mari with hope for Lily and Dove’s future with them.
The rest of the Pack began moving to form a circle around the campfire, talking with one another and openly wondering about the shadow dance.
Sarah limped up, supported by her sister, Lydia, and as soon as they heard “shadow dance” they began grinning and talking with the Earth Walkers. Mari overheard the words “beautiful” and “graceful,” and grew even more curious.
Jaxom and Fortina jogged up, looking confused but curious. “Fortina told me we needed to get back to camp, but I did find these first.” He shyly offered Sora the basket he carried.
She took it without looking at Jaxom, and her face registered happy surprise. “Mussels! They’re going to be wonderful with the fish stew. Thank you, Jaxom.”
Jaxom’s cheeks pinkened, but he waved away her thanks. “Fortina found them. Her nose is amazing. So, what’s going on?”
“Good timing, Jaxom,” Nik said. Then he bent to pet Fortina. “That’s a good girl, Fortina. You and your Jaxom do need to join us in the shadow dance.”
Immediately Fortina began wriggling with glee.
