His words melt my heart. He bends down his head, giving me the sweetest most tender kiss on the lips that turns my insides into mush and has my head swimming with emotions in no time. He pulls away slowly to replace his lips with his finger on my bottom lip. “Did you feel that? Did you feel the tingle?” he asks as he fixates his glistening gaze into my eyes. My senses are on fire and my heart is beating so fast, all I can do is nod my head. He takes his finger off of my lip and places it on his chest over his heart. “I’ll feel this all day today, and it’s more incredible than the feeling I’ve had after most of my sexual encounters. This. Is. So. Much. Better.”
If my heart didn’t fully belong to him before, he owns it completely now. There is no part of my being that was not touched by what he just said. There is no doubt in my mind at this moment that I’m falling hard for this man.
I never knew love could feel like this. I never expected it to be so sensual, explosive, sweet, intense, and heart wrenching all at the same time. Aiden is showing me a side of life that I never knew existed. Most people go through their entire lives never experiencing such an amazing feeling. Even if I still have my doubts about where this relationship is going, I am incredibly grateful at this moment to be experiencing what I am with this magnificent man.
We say our goodbyes and head in different directions. As soon as I sit in my car, I remember that I have to face Justin today, and feel nervousness crawl up my spine. Aiden asked me this morning if I was going to see Justin today and his reaction when I said yes makes me feel ever more uneasy. He didn’t say anything. He just nodded his head, but his body language told me how he actually feels. I wanted to tell him he has nothing to worry about. That I’ll explain things to Justin and everything will be fine. But I decided to stay quiet since he hadn’t said a word either.
Now that I’m heading to class and about to face Justin, I’m not so confident that things will be fine. I walked out in the middle of a date with him, when he had been nothing but a perfect gentleman. I told him I had a family emergency and had to run. It was the best thing I could come up with on the spot. What I didn’t think about is the fact that I hadn’t taken my purse or my phone with me to the restroom. Walking back and saying I had an emergency when I didn’t even have my phone to be alerted to an emergency was a pretty obvious lie. And Justin is not stupid. The fact that he hasn’t called or texted me all weekend, tells me he saw right through it.
I make sure I’m running a few minutes late when I get to class in the hopes that class has already started and Justin won’t have time to come talk to me. It’s a cowardly way of dealing with the situation, but I’m not feeling too brave this morning. I walk in, find a seat in a back corner, and quickly sit down. Once the professor starts the lecture, I carefully glance around the room to spot Justin. When I don’t find him, I take a calming breath.
Class goes by very fast. When it’s time to leave, I quickly grab my stuff and head out. I’m a few steps away from the door, when I hear Justin’s voice behind me.
“Running away from me?”
I reluctantly turn around. “Why would you say that?” I ask, avoiding his eyes.
“Hmmm…let me think. You bail out on me in the middle of dinner and you never call or text me to try to explain what happened. Then you come to class late looking all worried, and grab your stuff to run out as soon as the lecture is over. Now tell me, why would I think you’re trying to avoid me?”
I feel a brush creep up my cheeks, as I realize I’m completely busted. There is no way to avoid this so I decide to jump in.
“Can you walk to my next class with me?”
“Sure,” he says in an angry tone.
I take a deep breath and decide to go with honesty. “I ran into an old...”I struggle with how to label Aiden. “An old…boyfriend at the restaurant. We hadn’t seen each other in a while. He kind of caught me by surprise and told me we needed to talk. He threatened to create a scene if I didn’t leave right then. I’m sorry. I know what I did was extremely rude, but I was blindsided and didn’t know what to do. So I did what he asked me to.”
Justin stops walking. “You should have told me. I would have beat down his ass. He sounds like a complete jerk. Why would you listen to him?”
I immediately get defensive over Justin’s insult of Aiden.
“He’s not that bad. It’s just a very complicated situation.”
He raises his eyebrow. “Why do I sense there’s more to this story? What’s the real deal, Aleah?”
I cringe. How do I say this so that he’s not offended? “It’s a long story. We…we have history. I had to leave because I wanted to hear what he has to say… I’m sorry.”
“So? What did he have to say?
“We had a long talk and decided to give it another try.”
“You decided to give a jerk that drags you out in the middle of dinner another chance?”
“He’s not as bad as it sounds... I had to give him another chance.”
“You had to?”
“I wanted to. Like I said we have history and I felt like I owe it to myself to see where this goes. I promise this has nothing to do with you. It’s about me and him. It’s complicated. My life’s complicated. You probably don’t want to get involved in my mess anyway.”
“No, I don’t think I do,” he says with an angry look on his face, before walking away.
I’m supposed to meet Mia for lunch and I’m really nervous about her reaction when she finds out Aiden and I are back together. She sent me a few texts over the weekend asking me how my date went and I tried to answer with short one word sentences that avoided the questions. She also called me a couple times and I’m certain that when I texted her that I can’t talk, she thought I’m spending the weekend with Justin. I know she won’t be happy about me getting back with Aiden, and that makes me anxious. Mia is my only girl friend and I truly don’t want to hurt my friendship with her.
She walks in the café in all smiles and gives me a big hug.
“You look different,” she tells me. “You have this glow about you today. You look…really happy.”
I can’t help the smile that crosses my lips. Her face immediately turns serious. “Oh my God! You’re back with Aiden, aren’t you? He’s the only guy that puts that kind of smile on your face. That’s why you couldn’t talk to me all weekend, isn’t it?”
I’m amazed by her perceptiveness, but right now it’s not doing me much good.
“I… I ran into him and he wanted to talk.”
“Talk, Aleah? Talk? How many times have you talked to Aiden? What good can come out of talking to that jerk?”
“Don’t say that.” I raise my voice automatically.
“Well, I can tell he’s already got you fooled.”
“No, Mia, it’s not like that. You don’t know him. If I told you every incredible thing he did for me this weekend, you’d be amazed. He’s not a bad guy.”
“I beg to differ. It doesn’t matter, Aleah. You’ve met his family, right? You know how much they hate you. You saw what he did to you the last time he faced his family. What will he do the next time?”
She’s pointing to a touchy subject that I really don’t want to think about right now.
“It would be okay if you weren’t this gooey-eyed over him. If you were just having fun with him, I’d say go for it. Heck that’s what I told you to do in the first place. But you’re not doing this just for fun. I can see it in your eyes and in the way you smile when you think about him. You’re falling for this guy and that is dangerous, particularly when you know both of your histories.”
Tears sting the back of my throat as I think about what she’s saying. She’s absolutely right. This is dangerous. But it’s also incredibly sweet and exciting. My heart’s already too deeply involved. I just can’t pull back now.
“You’re right, about all of it. But when I’m with him… I can’t even explain the feeling… It’s incredible. It’s something I’ve never experienced and I don�
��t know if I ever will. I want to experience this, Mia; even if it’s short-lived and even if it ends up hurting me. I can’t pass up this chance. Please understand,” I almost beg.
“You’ve been through hell, Aleah. I just don’t want to see you get hurt again. But if that’s your choice, I support you. Even if I disagree with your decision, I’m still here for you, because that’s what friends do.”
And with that simple statement, she warms my heart and makes my day, as I remember how she has truly proven her friendship to me over the last few months.
EIGHT
ALEAH
I watch Aiden as he walks into the coffee shop, and can’t help but smile. He’s wearing ripped jeans that are riding low on his hips and a black t-shirt that hugs his muscular biceps. One look in his direction is enough to make my mouth dry and my insides turned to mush. He looks around trying to spot me and when he does a wide grin crosses his face. I love that seeing my face puts that smile on his.
He walks to my table, where we exchange a quick peck and a tight hug. He left his work a little early today telling his boss he’ll work from home so he could join me here as I study my night away. I’ve been holed up in libraries and coffee shops for the past couple of days studying for an upcoming test and we haven’t seen each other much. Tonight, he said he’d come out and join me, so we’re at least together.
He pulls his laptop out and immediately gets drowned into his work. I’m amazed by his work ethics. For a guy who’s never had to work a day in his life before and a man who doesn’t really care much for the type of job he’s doing right now, he has done an incredible job of taking this experience seriously.
I watch him as his fingers slide across the keyboard and I find myself wishing those fingers were on me. I scoot up closer to him and place my hand on his thigh. I start making circles with my fingers, while moving up inch by inch. He snaps his head up when I get too close to his groin area, surprised at my daring behavior. I give him my most seductive smile before pulling in for a delicious kiss.
I kiss him lightly at first and pull back, but when I do, I realize that kiss did nothing to satisfy the craving I have for him right now. I lean back for another kiss and this time I linger.
This behavior is completely uncharacteristic for me. I’m not a big fan of public displays of attention, particularly in a crowded coffee shop. But tonight, I feel a strange magnetic pull towards him. It’s as if my body simply can’t stay away. I give in to my feelings and get lost in the sensations of his lips on mine. I completely forget about the outside world until I hear a voice from behind me, and chills run up my spine.
“Well, well, well. Look who we have here… If it isn’t the famous slut of the town herself.”
I recognize the voice immediately. It is a voice I heard almost every day for the first twenty years of my life. The voice that told me all her secrets and gave me assurances when I shared mine. It is a sound that used to bring joy to my life. But now when I hear it, the hair in the back of my neck stands up as I remember the pain of betrayal I felt when she turned on me last year. I swirl around and direct my gaze into Zoha’s angry eyes. The amount of hatred I see in the eyes of the girl that used to be my best friend takes me by surprise.
“I’d heard you’d become some old rich man’s bitch. Looks like now that you have money in your pockets, you’ve moved on to whoring the hunks of the town,” she says, her voice dripping with venom.
“Stop, Zoha!” I almost beg.
“Why should I stop? You two-faced wench. You pretend to be my friend, all the while screwing my brother and half the town behind my back. And then you have the audacity to accuse my brother of attacking you when you get caught,” she yells back.
I can’t believe my ears. I’m so shell-shocked by her words that I just stand there staring at her. People are starting to look in our direction and I’m mortified by what is happening. I hear Aiden rise from his chair in a swoosh. “You better stop talking about my girlfriend like that or you’ll regret your next words.”
“Wow. You got a guy who looks like that to call you his girlfriend? All that whoring experience must be paying off now.”
Aiden’s face turns red. I notice him clenching his fists as he gets in her face. “Turn around and walk out that door right now, before I physically throw your trashy mouth out of here,” he says through gritted teeth.
She takes two steps back, but instead of turning towards the door, swirls around towards me. Before I know what is happening, she slaps me hard on the face. “This is for Imran,” she says, as she makes a dash for the door.
I bring my hand up to touch my burning cheek, as tears start trickling down my face. Aiden rushes to my side to wrap me up in a tight embrace. My body is starting to shake and my chest hurts with so much pain, it is really difficult to breath.
Sensing how close I am to falling to apart, Aiden quickly grabs our stuff and throws them in our bags with one hand, all the while holding my hand with the other. As soon as everything’s packed, he pulls me out of the coffee shop and towards his car. I hold myself together until we get there, but once safely inside; the flood of tears threatens to break the fragile dam of my emotions. My hands start shaking, as I’m shuddering inside. But I bite my lips and don’t let the ugly cries get out yet, knowing once the floodgates break, I won’t be able to stop.
Aiden makes it to his apartment in record time. He runs over to my side after parking the car and firmly grabs my hand to help me off the car. I lean on him as he leads me to his apartment, but with each step that takes us closer to his front door, I feel my emotions unraveling one more layer. As soon as we’re inside, all the energy I excreted to keep myself together leaves my body, as I almost collapse on the floor in a pool of tears and misery. Aiden immediately scoops me up in his arms and walks us to the couch. He holds me tight, as I sob in his arms.
Seeing Zoha and hearing her venomous words takes me back to the days after Imran attacked me. It reminds me of everything I lost that day. It brings back the hurt and the betrayal, the lost friendships and the vanished bonds. It makes me remember, once more, the permanent scars it left on my body and soul.
I cry until my tears run dry and my body is too weak to weep, and Aiden remains my rock and my shoulder to cry on through it all. He doesn’t ask any questions and doesn’t try to make me stop. He understands that I have to get this out of my system and simply helps me ride out the storm.
Once my wailing stops and my breathing returns to normal, I slowly raise my head to see his face. I need to search his eyes to see his reaction to what he just witnessed. I’m mortified about the things Zoha said and even more embarrassed over my reaction to them. I reluctantly gaze into his emerald eyes and am instantly relieved that I see nothing but affection and compassion in them. He gives me a sad smile and I hang my head down in embarrassment.
“I’m sorry you had to see and hear that.”
“You don’t need to be sorry about anything, baby. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. During the short time that we’ve been together, Aiden has seen me at my worst more than once. He’s witnessed my crumbling and falling into a pile of tears and blub, and he hasn’t shown anything but compassion and understanding. He hasn’t even asked any questions. He’s simply been there for me. As I look into his eyes once more, I feel the connection I have with him in my soul and the words poor out of my mouth effortlessly.
“Zoha used be my best friend. We had been friends since we were babies. We used to talk on the phone at least once a day and tell each other our biggest secrets. At least until her brother Imran asked me out on a date. He convinced me to keep the date from Zoha and I agreed knowing she would be furious at me if I told her. She’d never had a good relationship with Imran and I knew she wouldn’t approve. As I continued dating Imran, he kept insisting we keep the relationship secret. That didn’t alarm me because I have two brothers and a super strict family. Dating is really not accept
able for girls in that culture, and I was scared of their reaction… Imran was nice to me at first, but as the weeks went by and I refused to move passed certain physical boundaries, he started to act weird. He was the first guy I dated, so I didn’t have a lot of experience to compare things to, and I didn’t catch the warning signs until it was too late.”
I take a ragged breath and watch my trembling hands. Remembering the rest of this story is excruciatingly painful to me. Putting it into words and saying those words out loud will be agonizing. But I force my mouth open and the words pour out like raindrops out of a stormy sky.
“It’s funny how I vividly remember certain minute details of that day and block out other complete portions… I remember it was a cloudy day and the temperature was higher than normal. I remember the smell of the new cologne he was wearing. He wanted to meet me for lunch. That was very strange because we normally met late in the afternoon or at night. He told me it was urgent and picked me up from school. As soon as I got in the car, I felt something was off. He headed towards the direction of many of our friend’s favorite hangout place. It’s a small café close to the campus and we had never gone there together. I kept asking him why he was going there since so far in our relationship we had been very discrete. He wouldn’t answer me. I should have known something was seriously off right then.”
I look away and try not to choke up as I remember the details of that day. “Once we got there, he parked the car in a back corner, grabbed my hand and made me get in the back seat. I was so surprised by his uncharacteristic behavior that I didn’t say anything. As soon as we were both in the back, he came at me so fast and so violently, I barely had time to react. He had my top off before I even had time to blink. Once I realized what was happening, I started kicking and screaming. He pulled out a huge folding knife from his pocket, opened it and held the blade against my throat. He told me if I said a word or made one wrong move, he would push it in. I didn’t believe him. It was broad daylight and we were in front of a crowded café. He wouldn’t possibly do that, I thought. So I continued to struggle against him… and immediately felt the sting of the blade, as he slowly pushed the edge in. It wasn’t a huge cut, but it was big enough to terrify me. The shock of the cut, the smell of blood, and the sense of helplessness I felt at being trapped under him, made my body numb. I went into a state of shock, unable to move a muscle. Imran took advantage of the moment. He ripped my jeans off of me in a flash. I… I’ve kind of blacked out some of what happened next… The next thing that I remember is feeling some pressure and then excruciating pain. The experience was so traumatic that I detached myself from what was happening… It was…it was like an out of body experience. I knew what was happening, but acknowledging it was so devastatingly painful that my mind shut down…”
Redeeming Love (Resilient Hearts #2) Page 7
