by S M Mala
Except it was turning into a bad dream and reality was now starting to take over.
Sunday, she made the roast she’d promised, setting the table and sucking in all her pain.
There was a reasonable explanation he wasn’t answering.
He might have been angry or even jealous she was with Bill.
But she was starting to see that not everything was what she had been told.
Monday, with her suitcase packed, she waited for him to come and get her.
Jamie had promised he’d take her with him.
She knew he wouldn’t let her down.
Molly waited and waited, hoping it would all be okay.
And she waited some more.
He never came.
So she crawled into bed and went under the duvet with her cat’s ashes.
Molly sobbed her heart out, knowing all that Jamie told her was a lie.
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee
‘There’s been a change of plan.’
Molly swallowed all her heartbreak while speaking to her mother on the phone on Tuesday morning. ‘Jamie and I, we’ve…’ The tears couldn’t be stopped as she was so confused and hurt, not knowing what to think. ‘We’ve split up, so there was no need to go.’
There was a heavy silence on the other end of the phone.
‘You see, he…’ This was the bit she knew she had to say. ‘He didn’t love me. I thought he did, but it was a lie.’
Closing her eyes, she felt the tears drip down her face.
‘He was such a nice young man,’ her mother said, sounding genuinely upset. ‘I’m so sorry. Are you all right?’
‘Yes,’ she croaked.
‘You don’t sound it. Why don’t you come over and spend a few days here?’ her mother gently said. ‘I don’t want you to get ill.’
‘I’m fine, mum, I’m fine. I’ll see you in a couple of days.’
Everything in her body was numb. She’d cried herself to sleep when she realised it had all been a lie, cradling the ashes of her cat in bed. All she wanted to do was hide under the covers and not face up to her stupidity.
There were so many things that didn’t make sense, and only Jamie could answer the questions.
But he hadn’t returned any of her message and texts.
This she knew was a sign that Bill was telling the truth.
On the other hand, Bill had called and made contact but she was unable to speak to him.
What he might say could hurt her even more as he knew all along what was going on.
The only person who didn’t was Molly.
She looked at her hand and saw the engagement ring in all its fake glory. Molly took it off and placed it on the table.
Her heart was genuinely broken, and she couldn’t really remember ever feeling so betrayed and devastated.
‘You said it would be over on 31st. I didn’t think you’d do this,’ she mumbled to herself, shaking her head. ‘Why would you do this to me?’
‘I need to leave these things.’
Standing at the reception area of the Islington gym, she’d put everything together that Jamie had given her, including the gym pass and engagement ring, plus various items of clothing. The boxing gloves she kept as they fitted Bert the Baboon perfectly.
Nothing belonged to her, and she wanted to severe all contact.
That’s what she did with Sam and would now have to do with Jamie.
But the pain she felt about Jamie was far worse than she did about Sam.
It confused her.
‘Molly,’ she heard Mr Mac say, coming out. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Just things I have to return,’ she said brightly, avoiding eye contact at all cost. ‘I didn’t go away in the end, and my contract has finished, so to speak.’ Then she looked up and saw the gentle expression. Tears started to fall, and she didn’t know what to say. ‘Can you return these for me?’
‘Come with me,’ he said, gently grabbing her arm and taking her through to the gym.
‘I don’t want to see him,’ she whispered through her hand, which was to stop people from seeing her pain.
‘He’s not here, Molly.’
Mr Mac sat her down in the office and partially closed the blinds so no one could look in. Now Molly was crying quite hard. She remembered her and Jamie in the room, kissing and hugging.
It was all for show.
Slowly sitting down, he had a padded envelope in his hand.
‘I’m to give this to you,’ he said.
Molly looked at it then peered inside.
It was her passport and front door keys.
She couldn’t speak.
The set-up had been spectacular, but she was the only one who couldn’t see it.
Jamie had no intention of taking her away on holiday, let alone continuing her relationship. She didn’t want Mr Mac to see how totally devastated she felt, so she wiped her tears away and nodded.
‘I’ve returned everything and even cleaned the ring,’ she said quietly, placing it on the table. Then she turned and looked up at the large man. ‘It was all a lie, wasn’t it?’
Mr Mac frowned, and it looked as if he didn’t know what to say.
‘That’s a horrible trick to play on anyone,’ Molly sighed. ‘I thought… he said…’ She shook her head.
There were no words to describe how she felt.
‘I need to go. I won’t come back. Did he fly out yesterday?’
‘Molly, he left on Sunday afternoon.’
‘Sunday?’
‘That’s when he booked the flight.’
The hard punch into her chest returned.
She’d waited and waited, but he was never going to come. There was no chance he was ever going to take her.
A knockout lie.
It worked well as the only one to receive the fatal punch was her.
‘Why didn’t I see it coming?’ she mumbled to herself.
Mr Mac placed his large hand against her face, making her turn to look into his eyes.
‘When you were upset all those weeks ago, I knew something had hurt you. I see it again now, and that makes me worry. Don’t keep it all internally, you have to let it out, whatever anger and hurt you have in there,’ he said pointing to her chest. ‘It has to be released.’ Mr Mac took a deep breath. ‘I don’t know what Jamie was up to but as soon as I set eyes on you, I knew it had something to do with Bill Dyer.’
‘I have to go,’ she said, standing up. ‘I don’t belong here.’
‘Molly, listen to me,’ he said, grabbing her hand. ‘I’m very fond of you and I can see you’re upset. I want you to come and see me at my training rooms. They’re in Shepherds Bush and-.’
‘No more boxing.’ Molly gulped. ‘I need to get out of this place.’
‘I’ll text you the address. You need a couple of days to get things straight in your head. If I find out anything else, I’ll let you know.’
‘Don’t tell him you saw me like this,’ she said, starting to cry. ‘Don’t tell him he’s broken my heart. I think he’d like that.’
‘I gave everything back.’
Molly was sitting with Squirrel in the local pub on Saturday afternoon. She’d spent the rest of the week, after speaking to Mr Mac, in bed. It was the only safe refuge she could think of.
But the phone had rung, the texts kept coming in and it seemed Hamish, her ex agent, was desperate to speak.
‘If there’s anything missing, just tell me, and I’ll send it on,’ she said, knowing Jamie would probably throw everything away.
Squirrel was looking at her, not a hint of a smile.
‘Is there something wrong?’ she asked quietly, seeing him purse his lips. ‘It’s over and done with.’
‘Did you get paid?’
She’d forgotten about that before shaking her head from side to side.
‘He hasn’t settled the bill?’ Squirrel said, looking peeved. ‘Did you ask him before he went away?’
‘I forgot.�
�� Molly took a large sip of her rum and coke. ‘I think he was in a rush.’
‘Too bloody right! He was running around like a headless chicken on Saturday, sorting out his flat. There wasn’t much to move back. It’s all newly wired, so he’s a happy chappie,’ said Squirrel, sipping his pint. ‘But the same can’t be said about you.’
‘We ended it acrimoniously,’ Molly said, forcing a smile. ‘And I am happy. My format is going to be made into a pilot with a good chance it’ll get a series. Bill had a lot to do with it.’
Squirrel then looked directly at her.
‘Haven’t you heard?’ he whispered, looking over his shoulder. ‘It all kicked off last week. I think Jamie fled the country because his little plan didn’t exactly work out… maybe that’s why he’s holding onto the money.’
Molly didn’t want to hear.
Jamie Cohen had used and abused her, but she didn’t have the heart to tell Squirrel because she felt ashamed.
But mostly stupid.
‘They’re adults and I’m sure they can work it all out.’
‘But no!’ exclaimed Squirrel. ‘Chloe walked out on him and Bill doesn’t seem to mind.’
‘Where did you get this from?’
‘Insider information.’
‘So you’ll know that Jamie came storming into Bill’s hotel room when I was there shouting the odds?’
‘Oh, that sounds like it went perfectly well, from what I heard. The jealous fiancé, presuming you were with Bill and then storming off,’ laughed Squirrel, shaking his head. ‘Covering his tracks and-.’
‘He told Bill that he thought he had been sleeping with Danika,’ she flatly said, wanting to wipe the smile off her cousin’s face. ‘Jamie’s plan was like a revenge thing on Bill. By sleeping with Chloe and trying to expose Bill as something bad, he thought he’d have some justification. He made me look like an idiot.’ Squirrel’s smile had instantly diminished. ‘And, furthermore, he used me because, by some freak genetic accident, I look like the late mother of Bill’s child. I was bait. And the funniest thing?’ Molly was trying her hardest not to get angry. ‘Bill liked me and saw some miniscule hope that I might get another chance with Bert. I don’t ever want to see Jamie Cohen again. And please don’t mention his name.’
Lifting up her glass, she knocked back the rest of her drink.
‘Do you want another one,’ she asked, looking at his barely touched pint. ‘Okay, I’ll get one for me.’
As she got to the bar, she was shaking. It had been a week since he played his nasty trick, and all that was left was pure anger.
Her humiliation wouldn’t go.
Neither would the hurt.
Time and time again, she thought about how he had been with her and the words of love.
It tripped off his tongue very much like ‘rum and diet coke, please’ did off Molly’s.
When she got back to the table, she sat down and opened a packet of crisps to accompany her drink. Then she noticed Squirrel was staring.
‘I’ve never seen you look so angry since the day I stole that chocolate cow off your birthday cake when you were seven and shoved it in my mouth,’ he said gravely.
‘It was a cat, not a cow and, if I remember, you choked,’ she calmly replied, staring straight back at him. ‘I’m not angry.’
‘You look very scary.’
‘This is my normal expression.’
‘Okay,’ he said, his voice going a little higher as he took a sip of his drink. ‘If you say so.’
They sat in silence as she looked around and noticed a group of people watching a premier league football match on the television. Her head was buzzing, and her heart was breaking but she wasn’t going to let it show until she was alone.
‘What happened between you and Jamie to make you not want to speak to him again?’ Squirrel asked gently. Immediately Molly darted him a dirty look as he put his hands up in the air. ‘I won’t say another word.’
‘Ask him for your share of the money. Make sure you get it.’ Then she closed her eyes knowing what was bubbling inside her chest. ‘You did him a favour by finding me and he needs to pay you. His head wasn’t smashed in and, to be honest, the only bad man in this scenario was him. Bill is a saint.’
‘Seriously?’ Squirrel shook his head from side to side. ‘Obviously, the web of lies that Jamie produced is not good. I will have a word with him if he thought Bill Dyer could take you as he pleased! What did he think you were? I told him ‘Jamie, no hanky panky with my cousin’.’ Then he hesitated. ‘Was there anything untoward you need to tell me about?’
‘He’s a liar, that’s all you need to know.’
‘I’m fine.’
Molly had finished her shift at the taxi office and was walking back in the middle of the afternoon to her flat.
It was a little painful explaining why she didn’t go away, but she thought it was best not to lie.
She told them that Jamie had dumped her and went off on holiday on his own. Their relationship had finished, and work was her only focus. And the guys had been wonderful.
They offered to run over Jamie should they ever set eyes on him again.
Molly graciously took up their offer.
‘You don’t sound fine,’ Sienna said on the other end of the phone. ‘Why haven’t you been returning any of my calls?’
‘Didn’t I just ring you?’ she laughed, realising every time she did, it hurt.
Ten days he had gone, and she understood how much of an idiot she had been, thinking that he loved her when he was just using her. In her head, she summarised that she was an escort that gave him a happy ending while only filling her with dismay.
She was an out and out fool for believing anything he said.
‘And that Jamie thing? Did you get paid for the fact he stabbed you with injections when you didn’t even go away with him?’ her friend asked, the tone of her voice getting lower. The scolding wasn’t what her ears could take right now. ‘Was it worth it?’
‘Not really.’
‘Are you going to see him again?’
‘Never.’
‘What about the April Fools’ fundraiser that I harassed my clients into donating things to for auction? Don’t you think you’ll see him then?’
‘It’s only February now. I can’t think that far ahead, and I’m not going.’
It caught her eye, the abundance of Valentine Day cards and gifts in the shop windows.
If everything had been true, she would have been somewhere hot and tropical with the man she loved.
‘Idiot!’ she hissed to herself.
‘Pardon?’
‘Not you, me. I forgot to email something to Bill.’
‘And Bill Dyer? Didn’t you know who he was? Even Stevo knows he owns a large production company in Australia.’
‘That was probably the best thing that happened to me.’
‘Not Jamie?’
‘He was the worse. I’m allowed to make a mistake, aren’t I?’
Walking to her home, she went in and threw her things on the table, then switched on the kettle. She entered the bedroom to get ready to go to her drama class that afternoon and noticed her suitcase in the corner.
Pin prick tears came to her eyes, knowing he’d packed her things, and it was now just standing there, little use to anyone.
Very much how she was feeling about herself, but she was focussing on what Mr Mac told her a few days earlier.
All the pain and hurt she was feeling was to be vented through her boxing.
And boy did she box.
Mr Mac commented that she was obviously very hurt and exceptionally angry based on how hard she was punching the day before.
This all took place at his private training studio for celebrity clients (it was the first time he ever mentioned this, and when she tried to find out who, he managed to stay tight lipped). He was also helpful regarding the boxing jargon which she needed to know about for the scripts.
The boxing made her feel
good, and she knew he was kind, not even asking for payment, but Molly was insistent. All he asked for was that the fund raiser in April did well and that Molly didn’t fall into a black hole of depression.
She promised both to him.
Sitting on the bed, she heard the builders outside. It sounded like they were removing the scaffolding. She flung herself back onto the mattress and looked up at the ceiling. The bill was bound to come, and she’d raid her secret stash of cash to pay for it. But it wouldn’t be that bad as she was getting money from the pilot, and that would tide her over.
Her doorbell rang, and she slowly got up to answer the door.
She stood rooted to the spot when she saw who it was.
‘Hello Molly,’ Chloe said. ‘Can I come in?’
There was no way she had expected to see Bill’s wife and Jamie’s lover, former or not, standing on her doorstep. The last time she saw her, the woman had witnessed her being physically rejected by Jamie. Nodding, she let her in.
‘I know this is unexpected, and I hope you don’t mind?’ she said gently as Molly walked into her living room. ‘But I did need to see you.’
‘Would you like a cup of tea?’ she asked, remembering her manners. ‘Or coffee?’
‘I’m fine,’ she said, looking around and then her eyes fell on the puppet. ‘That’s Bert, I take it?’
She had put Bert on the armchair to inspire her to write. He was sat up on the cushions with a book in his hands and a pair of mini boxing gloves to his side.
‘He’s reading.’ Molly sighed and examined the woman slyly.
Tall, slim, elegant and beautiful. Nothing like Molly and it struck her how much of a lie Jamie had weaved. There were all sorts of questions buzzing in her head she wanted to ask.
But first, she needed to know why Chloe was here.
She down on the sofa and Chloe did the same. Molly pressed herself into the arm for comfort and support.
Whatever was to come out of Chloe’s mouth wouldn’t be nice.
‘I’m not having an affair with your husband,’ Molly immediately said. ‘It hasn’t crossed my mind and I don’t know why Jamie thought I was.’
