She looked at him, already regretting taking Beau Randall’s call.
“Our company,” she quietly corrected.
“I understand this is a shock, but think carefully about the facts. The man has a fortune at his disposal. He’s offering you a chance to sell at a substantial profit before he pushes you out of the market. And he will. People like Beau Randall don’t give up and they don’t lose.”
“I still don’t understand why you didn’t tell me.”
“Because I’m a coward. I knew you’d jump to conclusions and believe I colluded with Randall.”
“What was I supposed to think?”
“You tell me.” He stood and his eyes became steely once again as he searched her face. Searched her soul. “Emma, I thought we were doing a slow dance toward the same promise. Looks like I was wrong. Again.”
“I don’t understand why Steve’s company always seems to stand between us.”
“Maybe it’s Steve that’s standing between us.” Zach shook his head. “He’s my brother and I’ll always love him, but what you said not minutes ago is truer than I realized. Neither one of us can go forward while our past is chasing us down.”
“You want me to let Steve go?”
“No, Emma. All I’m asking you to do is trust me enough to walk to your future.” Bleakness filled the once smiling face as he turned to go.
“Will I see you tomorrow night at Lucy and Jack’s for Christmas Eve?” Emma asked as panic began to claw at her.
“What would be the point?” He looked at her and shrugged. “I’m due in San Diego on the first to sign the paperwork on the new job before I ship out. I might as well get on the road.”
Emma’s heart clenched. No. No. This can’t be happening.
Zach walked slowly down the hall, every echoing step a reminder of what she was losing, yet Emma’s legs were leaden and she was unable to move. Unable to breach the distance between them.
“Merry Christmas, Mr. Norman,” Iris called.
“Yeah, Merry Christmas,” he returned.
The building door closed with a whoosh and a dull thud.
Christmas Eve without Zach. All her tomorrows without Zach.
Emma shivered. The room seemed colder as the startling reality hit. Zach had been in her heart her entire life, but somehow, somewhere, in the last eight weeks, everything had changed. What was she going to do?
Chapter Twelve
“Lucy, tell me what to do.” Shavings of carrot peelings shot into the sink as Emma began to prep for the Christmas Eve vegetable lasagna. Her heart wasn’t in the task.
“Me? I’m a terrible cook. Why do you think I invited you over?”
“I’m talking about Zach.”
“I know even less about relationships than I do about cooking. If you recall, I held on to an empty house for years, too afraid to move on with my life.” She shook her head as she slid the relish tray into the refrigerator. “And our dear brother is another example of cowardice in the face of cobwebs of the past. I’m afraid we Maxwells do not part with our baggage without a fight.”
Emma released a pained groan.
“Too bad Rue Butterfield is out of town. Practical advice is her specialty. That and swift kicks. Sounds like you need both.”
“Thanks a lot. Maybe I should talk to Dutch.”
“I’d rely on Google before I believed anything Dutch offered. Well, except John Wayne trivia.”
Emma wiped at her eyes with the corner of her prancing reindeer apron.
“Oh, honey, why are you crying?”
“I’m not crying. I’m cutting onions.”
“Those are carrots,” Lucy pointed out.
She whirled around with the vegetable clutched in her hand. “He’s gone, Lucy. Gone. My daughters won’t get to spend Christmas with Unca Zach and it’s all my fault.”
Lucy pulled out a kitchen chair. “Sit down. I’ll make some nice hot tea and then we can figure this out.”
“We don’t have time to figure this out. The casserole isn’t ready.”
“You made twelve dozen Christmas cookies. We are not going to starve. Now sit.” Her big sister pointed to a chair. “Don’t make me pull rank on you!”
“Fine.” Emma slid into the chair and put her forehead on the table.
“Aunt Emma, are you okay?” Dub Harris asked as he approached her.
“Yes, sweetie. My heart is just breaking,” she mumbled into the red-and-green-plaid tablecloth.
“Emma!” Lucy hissed. “He’s a kid.”
Emma sat up straight. “I mean, I just need tea and I’ll be fine.”
The six-year-old circled her shoulders as best as he could with both arms, then rested his blond head on her right shoulder before squeezing tight.
“Aw, thanks so much, sweetie. Dub hugs are the best.”
He offered a shy grin. “Do you want me to pray for you?”
Emma smiled. The kid was going to be a heartbreaker someday. Already he was melting hers with those big blue eyes. His lisp was gone now that his front teeth had emerged. Little Dub was growing up. Time was moving much too fast.
She patted his hand. “I’m much better now, but I’ll keep that offer in mind if I need it later.”
He nodded, pleased with the answer.
“Did you come in here for something, Dub?” Lucy asked as she set out mugs and herbal tea bags.
“My dad needs a rag. The puppy had an accident.”
Lucy handed him a roll of paper towels and disinfectant spray. “Please ask your daddy to take the puppy to the basement. We have guests coming.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Thank you, Dubster.”
“‘My dad,’ huh?” Emma smiled at the supreme cuteness she’d just witnessed.
“Isn’t that adorable?” Lucy commented. “He’s been saying that lately.”
“Where did the puppy come from?”
“Early Christmas present. Dub has always wanted a puppy. How could I say no to a boy who has already had a chunk of his childhood stolen from him?”
“You have seven-year-old triplets and you are about to deliver.” She stared at the red-and-green maternity top that barely covered her sister’s abdomen. “A puppy is like bringing another baby into the house. What were you thinking?”
“Sometimes you don’t think, you just feel.”
Emma rolled her eyes. “Then there’s the rest of us, who think and don’t feel.” She ran a finger over the face of her Christmas watch, checking the time again for no good reason. Zach was gone. He’d never get to see his nieces’ gift for him or the Stetson she bought. Why hadn’t she stopped him?
“Did you ever wonder why Steve’s will had that silly RangePro clause?”
“Huh? What?” Stunned, Emma turned to stare at her sister.
“Why did Steve—”
“I heard you. Yes. I think about it often. Usually at 2:00 a.m. Long ago, I came to the conclusion that deep down inside he didn’t trust me to run his company, otherwise why didn’t he tell me about this addendum to his will?”
“I’m sure that wasn’t it at all. And if it was, well, you proved him wrong the last three years, haven’t you?”
“Why do you think he did it?” Emma asked. The teakettle began to whistle, and she jumped up. “I’ve got this.”
“I think Steve wanted to create a valid and compelling reason why Zach eventually had to come back. He wanted Zach to look out for you in case anything happened to him. I really believe Steve wanted to unite the people he cared for in the event of his death.”
“I don’t know, Luce. That seems a stretch,” Emma said as she carefully filled the mugs with hot water. She returned the kettle to the stove and faced Lucy.
“Emma, do you think that Steve was aware that Zach cared for you?”
“I hope and pray that my husband didn’t think I cared for anyone but him.”
“That’s not what I asked.” Lucy placed a comforting hand on Emma’s arm. “Your heart is pure and so is Zach’s. That’s why Zach stayed away. He would never do anything dishonorable. Ever. That’s not the kind of man he is. At the same time, it doesn’t prevent him from having feelings for you.”
Emma sank into the chair and wrapped her hand around the hot mug. “Oh, Lucy. If you’re right...” Emma released a breath. And she suspected her sister was. “Then what kind of person am I if I didn’t even realize Zach harbored feelings for me?”
“This is Zach, Em. They coined the term ‘strong and silent type’ when he was born. The man holds his cards so close to his chest even he can’t read them.”
“I’m so confused. What if I had known back then? Would I have chosen Zach over Steve?”
Lucy gave an adamant shake of her head. “You can’t go there. We both know too well that trying to rewrite the past is a dangerous game. Every single day we have an obligation to live a life that asks, ‘What’s on the agenda today, Lord?’ You, Travis and I have done that to the best of our ability with our lives and with Big Heart Ranch.”
She pulled her tea bag from the mug and looked at Emma. “Sure, we have a ton of unanswered questions. The journey has definitely not been easy, or without obstacles. That’s why it’s called faith.”
“I know you’re right, but I’m so overwhelmed with everything... I didn’t sleep a bit last night.” Emma raised a hand in gesture. “I don’t know what to say, Lucy.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I just want you to see this situation another way and maybe consider the possibility that RangePro is standing between you and Zach.”
“Consider? I admit it! That’s the reason Zach left.”
“Isn’t there another way you can honor Steve?”
Emma blinked. “Another way?”
Lucy scooted her chair closer and took Emma’s hand. “Do you think Rachel and Elizabeth will care about a software company called RangePro when they grow up?”
“I thought they might. I mean, I keep remembering the way everything was taken away from us when we went into foster care.”
“That was wrong. I’m so sorry that was part of your childhood.” Lucy wiped at a trail of moisture sliding down her face. “I wish I could have done something.”
“Lucy, you were twelve years old.”
“That’s the only thing that keeps me sane when I remember that dark time.”
They sat in silence for a moment holding each other’s hands tightly.
“Em, surely you realize that what we went through isn’t the same as selling RangePro.”
“Do I? I don’t think I’m there yet.”
“Okay, let’s take it a step further. Why not take the money and run? You’ve put enough sweat equity into the company since Steve died. It’s worth whatever Randall is willing to pay and it sounds like he’s willing to pay handsomely.”
“That’s a lot of money. What would I do with all that money?”
“Give Zach his half and find something that will remind the girls that their daddy was an amazing man.”
Emma’s eyes widened as she considered the idea. “Oh, Lucy, you’re brilliant.”
Lucy grinned and patted herself on the back. “You know, I keep telling Jack that, but he’s not been as receptive to the concept as you are.”
“I’ll call Beau Randall on Monday.” Once again, she glanced at her watch. “Zach is probably halfway to California by now.”
“He hasn’t left.”
“What? How do you know that?”
“I sent Dutch out in the snow to find out. Oh, and I sent him with your Christmas presents for Zach. I thought that might tug a few heartstrings in your favor.”
Emma went to the doorway and peeked into Lucy’s living room. Her gaze scanned the family’s decorated Virginia pine. The gifts Emma had brought for Zach were missing from beneath the graceful branches. “I can’t believe you did that without asking me.”
“No thanks are necessary. I’m sure you’d do the same for me if the situation was reversed.” Lucy stood behind Emma. “What do you think of my tree?”
“It’s very nice, but I won. Zach went with me and we cut ours a week ago.” Zach had decorated her tree, too. More memories to haunt her daydreams.
“That’s only because I’m a little slow with the kiddo on board. I’ll win next year.” Suddenly, Lucy grimaced, and her hand shot to her lower back and then to her abdomen. “Ouch. That one hurt.”
“You’re having contractions?” Emma squeaked.
“Yes. They started a bit ago.”
“Why didn’t you say something? Grab your bag. Let’s get going.”
“Oh, I’m not going anywhere until absolutely necessary. The last time we went to the hospital they made me hang around for hours while they timed my contractions and poked at me and then they sent me home.”
“Jack!”
“No! Emma, do not call him. If I say the word contraction, he gets short of breath and needs a brown paper bag. He’ll try to find an Uber again.”
“An Uber in Timber, Oklahoma?”
“I know.” She shook her head.
Emma reached for her purse. “I’m calling AJ and Travis. They’re probably on the way anyhow. They can stay with the kids. I’ll be the designated driver.”
“Oh, Emma. Is this really necessary?”
“Unless you’re planning to give birth on the dining room table, yes, it is. Am I the only rational adult in this house?” She pulled back the blinds, tangling the cord as she did. “And the snow continues. Maybe we should call an ambulance.” Emma turned and walked straight into a wall.
“Now who’s rational?” Lucy sipped her tea.
“Jack!” Emma yelled as she rubbed her head. “I wish Zach was here. He’s good in emergencies. He’d know exactly what to do.”
“Oh, I’m sure our humble hero will be along soon enough.”
“I wish I had as much faith in Dutch as you do.” Emma scooped up her coat and grabbed her boots.
“Dutch is not my rock. The good Lord has had His hand on the Maxwell children for a long time. He won’t let us down. Your navy SEAL will be back where he belongs before you know it.”
“In the meantime, Lucy, would you please get your coat and overnight bag? I’ll grab Christmas cookies for the nursing staff.” Emma stopped and stared at her sister. “You’re really going to have a Christmas baby!”
* * *
Zach sat in a corner booth of the Timber diner that overlooked Main Street, nursing his fourth cup of coffee. Outside, fat flakes of snow rode through the air on the back of a strong northerly gust. The holiday flags on the streetlamps flapped back and forth, waving a greeting.
Emma’s flags.
Everything reminded him of Emma.
“We’re going to close soon, son.” A smiling gray-haired waitress stopped by his table. “I can give you a to-go cup if you like.”
“I’m good. Thanks very much.” He pulled out his wallet and slipped a ten under the white mug.
“The coffee was only two bucks.”
“It’s almost Christmas,” he said.
She smiled. “So it is. You have a wonderful holiday.”
“Yeah,” he murmured. A wonderful holiday. Christmas Eve and he was like Ebenezer Scrooge, taking a glimpse into his own future. All he saw was a string of lonely all-night diners and a vision of himself running from what he should have had instead of grabbing what he could have.
He had been sitting in the Timber Diner for hours because he lacked the courage to move on, or the guts to go tell Emma he loved her.
Zach stood and reached for his coat. Shrugging his arms into the sleeves, he headed for the door.
“Don’t forget your hat.”
He examined the pristine black Stetson hanging on the hook outside the booth. Where had it come from? He’d been the only patron in the diner for the last few hours. “That’s not my hat.”
“Sure it is. Dutch Stevens came in and said you left it behind. He put it there when you were in the restroom. I got so busy cleaning the grill that I forgot to tell you.” She pointed outside. “Dutch’s truck’s still out there.”
Dutch came out in this weather to bring him a hat? Zach pulled the Stetson from the peg. Tucked inside was a wrapped Christmas package with his name on it. This was beyond strange. Even for Dutch.
Zach carefully slipped the package into his pocket. Hand on the Stetson’s crown, he ran his fingers over the brim before he placed the hat on his head. The Stetson fit like it was made for him.
“Thank you, ma’am.” He walked past the cash register, his knee aching from the dip in barometric pressure. At the counter, he noticed a display of what Dutch would call geegaws. Dangly Christmas earrings, little red and green beaded bracelets and ridiculous necklaces. Zach couldn’t help but smile as he fingered a sparkly necklace of tiny holiday lights.
“I’d like to buy this.”
“Cute, isn’t it?” She held it up and smiled. “Gift?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll take off the price tag for you.” She slipped the necklace into the bag and then reached to the display and picked up a silver candy cane ring as well. “The ring is on the house.”
Zach smiled as he slid the money across the counter and took the white bag. “Thanks again.”
“You’re welcome. Be careful out there. Lots of accidents tonight.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Pulling out his keys, Zach pushed open the glass door and stood on the sidewalk looking up and down the street as snow continued to fall, covering the town in a comforter of white. Sure enough, Dutch’s beat-up pickup was parked along the street. Except, the old wrangler wasn’t in it.
The streets of Timber were all but empty on Christmas Eve. His footsteps on the snowy ground echoed with each step into the night.
When the wind sliced through him, Zach zipped the barn coat and dug in his pockets for gloves.
Christmas with the Cowboy Page 17
