“Ah. So that’s where he gets it.”
His chest expanded under his shirt. “How do you brush off everything I do?”
“You need a crash course in what marriage in the twentieth century is like, but I’m not losing sleep over you.”
Because I’m back in denial.
He’d filled my life with stuff, and I thought it’d make me happy, but at the end of the day, I just wanted my husband to love me.
Tony peeked into the house. “My mother’s here.”
“I’m surprised a guy like you can’t blow off your mom.”
“Italian moms are not easily blown off.” Tony dragged me out of sight of the windows, his tone extremely tense. “She’s waited her whole life for me to marry, and now that I have? She expects kids. She’ll grill you.”
“So? She seemed fine at the wedding.”
“She was faking it, darling. We’ll leave as soon as we can.”
“First, do something for me.” I could practically hear his mind whirring as I linked my arm with his. “Name five things you’re grateful for.”
“Why?”
“Just give it a try.”
Tony considered me, a storm brewing in his expression. “I’m grateful I’m free, that I don’t have to hurt people anymore, and that I have a family that fucks me over and forces me to marry. I’m grateful for your tight virgin pussy. I’m thankful that you don’t know anything about what I did in the past or you’d never get so fucking wet for me. And I’m grateful that you are always trying to see the good in me. You’re a much better person than I’ll ever be.”
“See? That wasn’t so hard.”
Heat clawed my skin as his hands skimmed my waist. He took my hip, sliding under the flared shirt to stroke me. I swallowed hard, stunned by the impact of his gentle grip. As I let him escort us inside, electricity zipped up my elbow.
He brought us into the giant living room filled with feminine furniture. Isabella Costa was tall and graceful. She had a wealth of dark hair, like shining black glass, and it sat on her dainty shoulders. Her generous lips pulled over even teeth. She broadcast a regal beauty that seemed to shine through Tony’s eyes, mouth, and nose because he resembled her so much.
A beautiful smile hitched on Tony’s face. She offered her cheek to him, and Tony kissed it dutifully.
“How are you, Mom?”
“Good, good. I finally get to see you.” She beamed. “My handsome man. You look so happy.”
“Thanks, Mom. I am.”
“Why is this wrinkled?” she demanded, fingering a nonexistent crease on his shirt. “Doesn’t your wife know how to iron?”
She does not.
“Yes, of course.” Tony flung a protective arm around me. “Would’ve seen you sooner, but...newlywed bliss.”
Tony’s adoring gaze swept over me. Paired with his breathtaking grin, it was quite the gut-punch.
“You okay, baby? Cold?”
I nodded, grateful for the excuse.
His warmth had shattered my balance and short-circuited my thoughts. Wool glided over my back as he slid his jacket over me. My hands dove into his pockets, fiddling with crumpled papers.
“Are you pregnant yet?”
Isabella’s demanding tone dragged my attention to the conversation. My heart pounded. I clearly wasn’t her first, second, or third choice to marry her darling son.
“We’re trying.”
“Anthony, you need to take this seriously.” A dangerous edge grew in her voice. “I’m not getting any younger, and I’d like to meet my grandbabies.”
Wow.
Mother-in-law was swinging with both fists in the baby argument, which seemed to thrill Tony. His reluctance to tell her off amused me.
I promised I’d behave, but the lure was too strong.
“She’s right, honey.” I plastered my hand on his chest and pouted. “We should really see a fertility doctor. You don’t want to be in your forties when the baby comes. Or your sixties when the kid turns twenty.”
“I agree, Anthony.”
A muscle jumped in his jaw. “I’ll get on that.”
“You will.” Isabella growled like he’d ruined the party by pissing in the pool. “You are not ruining this girl’s chance to have children.”
“Ignore him,” I cut across Tony, grabbing her arm. “The way we’re going at it, it won’t be a problem. You’ll have a grandkid before next Easter.”
The air echoed with Isabella’s tinkling laughter. Suddenly, her tigress energy zeroed in on me. Mother-in-law officially scared me more than her son.
“Anthony, may I have a moment alone with Evie?”
Here we go, said Tony’s pained expression. He faced his mother, glowering.
“You will not upset my wife.”
“Yes, caro mio. I promise.” Her lips smoothed into an unconvincing harmless smile. “I’ll return Evie in one piece.”
“Be nice, Mom. I like her.”
“Of course.”
He went outside, throwing me a black look.
Isabella evaluated me with an intensity that rivaled her son’s, and then she smiled.
“Anthony should’ve married ten years ago, but he’s like his dad. Stubborn and independent. A marriage with him won’t be easy.” She picked lint off my dress. “You need to hold a gun to his head to get him to do anything.”
Tell me about it. “I’ve seen that side of him.”
“So you know how difficult he is.”
Psychotic, yes. “I can handle him.”
“I think so, too,” she agreed, astonishing me. “My boy has never had the patience for high-society women. Nico set him up with debutantes. Princesses. Soft girls. Anthony sent them home crying. He needs someone strong who won’t put up with his nonsense.”
She stared at me pointedly.
My jaw dropped.
A pep talk from my mother-in-law seemed wrong. Wrong that it came from her, and that I’d absorbed her encouragement like a flower desperate for water.
“I know he’s challenging. Believe me. I spent most of his life trying to fix him. Therapy. Rehab. Nico and I did everything. You can’t force him to do what you want, but you can convince him.”
“How?”
“By making him fall in love with you.”
Tony?
A laugh broke through my clenched lips. “That’s not in the cards for us.”
“It is. You’ll see.”
I gave her a bleak smile. “I don’t think he likes me.”
“Honey, if he didn’t he wouldn’t work so hard to hide you from me.” She cupped my face, her expression solemn. “And now I know why. I never cared for the girls Anthony brought over, but I like you.”
I gaped at her, my insides frozen.
“He’s told me all about you…about your business. He showed me your jewelry. I’m not easily impressed, Evie. You’re exactly what he needs, even if he can’t admit that yet.”
“Wow, thank you. I’m flattered, but...” I glanced at Tony, who stood behind the door, frowning. “I can’t get him to open up to me.”
“He’s still angry with your family. Right now, that’s stronger than any feelings he has for you, but that will change. He’s always had a big heart. It’s just wounded. My son is not a monster.”
The dying light in my heart flickered to life.
“Love him,” she urged me. “Accept him. And he’ll return it to you tenfold. I promise.”
I wanted to thank her, but my eyes welled as she stroked my hair. A memory of my mother’s warmth assaulted me, and my body trembled.
Don’t fucking cry.
She kissed my cheek. “My son will pass you my number. Call me anytime.”
“I-I will.”
She gave me a fierce hug.
I clung to her shoulders, bewildered by her aggressive kindness. When she pulled away, my vision was glassy. I sank onto a couch and bit my tongue.
The sliding door opened and closed.
Cold wrapped my limb
s. I held her words close to my chest, huddling around them like a candle, until Tony’s presence melted it completely.
“Jesus Christ.” Tony rolled his palm over my shoulder and squeezed. “Mom’s going for the Guinness Book World of records.”
Heaviness centered on my chest.
Tony sighed heavily, sinking into the seat beside mine. “She promised she’d be nice.”
“She was, actually.”
“Yeah, right. What the hell did she say?”
“Don’t you wish you knew?”
Tony leaned in, his thick brows creased as he scanned my face. “You probably shouldn’t have egged her on about kids. You can expect her to call and text you for updates.”
“We should talk about it, Tony.” My hands fidgeted in my lap. “You haven’t—we haven’t tried for a baby.”
Tony said nothing for a while. “Is that what you want, a baby with a man you barely know?”
No, but once I realized my fiancé was hotter than ninety percent of the male population, I’d fantasized about him. I pictured him throwing me over his shoulder and tossing me on the bed. I thought he’d glimpsed me somewhere, and had to have me.
It explained all the weird shit in the prenup, and there was something obscenely hot about a man determined to seed me with his DNA. I assumed he wanted a family with me. Reality had been a major disappointment.
I stole a glance at Tony, who massaged his temples. “We have to decide what we’re doing.”
“You’re Mrs. Costa until the day you die.”
A flood of relief surged through my veins. “Well…then we really should try for a baby. You don’t have time, and I definitely want kids.”
“Well, I don’t.”
My insides froze. “Why not?”
“Because,” he exhaled hoarsely. “I’m a drug addict who’s never had his feet on solid ground. I have no interest in continuing my legacy. I can’t take care of anyone.”
“You’re taking care of me.”
“That’s not the fucking same, and you know it.” He released a frustrated sigh. “I’m not a good father figure.”
“That’s not true. You’re complicated. Snarky. Tense, at times, but mostly, you’re just a man. A flawed man. So what? We’re all carrying some kind of baggage.”
“Compared to the guys in the MC, I’m sure I’ll be father of the year.”
“You don’t have to mock them to make your point,” I hissed, annoyed with him. “And you were willing to go further at Sanctum. You shoved your cum inside me, remember? You realize I’m not on birth control, right?”
“And that makes you think I’m a sane, rational man? That I could shoulder responsibility? I can’t even deny my instincts with you.” Tony shook his head, wearing a grim smile. “We’re never having kids, Evie.”
“But the prenup—”
“I don’t care what a piece of paper says. I would rather lose half my net worth than be a parent. So if you had your heart set on having them with me, I’m sorry. It’s not happening.”
“You don’t want kids, so I can’t have them?”
“You’re welcome to find a donor at a sperm bank. I will set you up with enough money so you and the kid are taken care of. They’ll have my last name, but I will not be involved in their life.”
The hurt was swift and brutal. That ripped open something vulnerable I never knew I had.
He never wanted children with me?
Was my DNA not good enough for him?
A glance at his hard mouth confirmed my suspicions. The blow crushed me. He rejected what my body could give him just because it came from me. I couldn’t take any more heartache. My throat closed up. I rose from the couch, bristling.
Tony’s glare softened. “Evie, I’m—”
“You’re the last man I fucking wanted! I still said yes.” My shouting burst to the ceiling as Tony’s offending hands gripped me. “Dad made it sound like you picked me to be the mother of your kids. I thought it was disturbing but sweet. Like you couldn’t get me out of your mind.”
I trembled as people faced us, but the humiliation of his family listening in on my meltdown was second to his behavior.
“I said yes, you selfish bastard, because I assumed you were serious about building a life with me…but you’re not interested in that. You would rather cut off your nose to spite your face.”
Anguish flashed across Tony. His pained stare dove into me.
I’m done.
I ripped away from him and shot outside, running through the garden-side exit. My feet hurtled over the steps and down the street. Then I ducked into someone’s open garage and cried until my chest caved in.
I opened my phone and sent a message to Dad.
Come get me.
I can’t do this anymore.
Eighteen
Evie
I’m grateful for the wind wiping my tears.
Dad asked no questions.
He rolled up on his Harley and whisked me away. Climbing onto my father’s bike was exactly what Tony warned me against, but he didn’t get a vote anymore.
Our marriage was a sham.
Tony would never accept me.
We shared nothing but the desire to fuck each other. I’d deluded myself the entire time, thinking there was more. Hoping he’d come around. Pure desperation led me to believe Tony’s acts of kindness were glimmers of affection.
No.
He was simply a giving person who had no feelings for me. Tony did what he could to keep me safe, happy, and fulfilled. He gave me everything I wanted but not what I needed. I wished the things in my gratitude journal filled the void in my chest.
Hunger pangs stabbed my stomach as Dad parked in a shabby strip mall next to a motel. I slid my arms from his middle. My throat tightened when I took in the shipping truck and the Legion bikers surrounding it.
Dad lugged a bag over his brawny shoulder and motioned that I should follow along. He’d muttered about a favor as he pulled me onto his bike. He showed up with my old scale and scope but I was so depressed that I followed him without question.
An incessant chime echoed from my purse.
Incoming Call: T
I silenced the call. Answering him wouldn’t do any good. I’d already texted him with the excuse that I needed space, but that probably wasn’t enough for my overbearing husband.
As Legion bikers climbed the outdoor staircases to the second level, Dad waved me forward.
I hung back. “We really need to talk.”
His bushy eyes narrowed. “About?”
“Tony.”
“Now’s really not the time.”
“Legion kidnapped Tony years ago. Tony said he was kept in a basement for weeks, beaten, starved, and God knows what else. Why would they do that to him? Did you know about this?”
Dad scanned the parking lot. He only seemed to be half-listening.
“Yes.”
“Why torture a man who wasn’t in the mafia?”
“His dad was a don. He was in jail. The Costas were weak, and Crash wanted to kill them all. So he made a move.” His expression grew pitying as he patted my head. “Oh, Evie. You’re like your mother. Not cut out for this life.”
“So he deserved it. That’s what you’re saying?”
“I don’t give a rat fuck. It’s in the past.”
“It’s not in his rearview mirror. I can promise you that.” I grabbed his arm when he twisted away. “Why did you set me up with Tony? Did you think this marriage would go anywhere?”
He stared at me blankly. “I wanted you to keep Costa busy, and you have. If he’s chasing you that’s less time he’s messing with my business.”
So it was about his needs.
Fury whipped up my chest. I strolled across the parking lot to the bus stop. Dad’s heavy boots crunched concrete as he kept pace.
“Evie, I need this favor.”
Suck it. “Those tend to come with a high price tag. No thanks.”
“You ungratefu
l brat,” he snarled, shoving into my path. “You have a good life. You’re out of the club, just like you wanted. You’re married to a rich man who gives you everything. All I’m asking for is a diamond appraisal.”
“I’m not breaking the law for you.”
“You won’t have to launder them,” he grated. “I’ll tell you everything I know about Costa.”
Temptation battled with common sense.
This was a chance to hear the whole story, rather than what I’d gleaned from the video and whatever Tony was willing to divulge. My phone buzzed incessantly, reminding me there would be hell to pay no matter what.
“I shouldn’t.” My hands stiffened from cold. Too bad I ran out and left my coat at the house. “Tony doesn’t want me involved with club business.”
“It won’t take long.”
As though that mattered.
“Ten minutes, tops.” Dad took my elbow, gently leading me to the motel. “We’ll talk. Promise.”
My guts squirmed, and I nodded. I’d barely stuffed the phone into my purse before Dad’s cell blew up. He fished it from his pocket.
“Yes, she’s right here.” Dad palmed the speaker. “Evie, it’s Costa.”
“Tell him I’m busy.”
“I don’t have time for this shit.” Dad handed me the cell, climbing the staircase. “Don’t let him know where we are.”
Alarm rippled down my spine.
Dad reached the top of the stairs and headed to a room with closed curtains, the battered red door etched with a black eleven. He looked both ways and knocked as Gunner and Clyde stood sentry.
I lifted the phone. “Hey.”
“Finally. I’ve been looking everywhere.” Tony’s impatient gravel struck me deep, spreading dread through my body. “Why didn’t you pick up?”
The concern sent a draft under my dying butterflies.
I swallowed the ball of hurt and adjusted my tone. “You’re lucky I’m talking to you at all.”
“Evie, let’s do this in private.”
“No thanks. I’ve hit my quota of being insulted by my husband.” He interrupted me with questions, but I plunged on. “Dad needs a favor. I’ll call you later.”
“Hold on—what kind of favor?”
“I’m not at liberty to say.”
Monster: A Dark Arranged Marriage Romance Page 15
