“Why do you want me? I’m one of them.”
“Don’t care.”
“I’m too biker to fit in at your high-society dinners. I’ll never be able to tell between champagne and prosecco. I can’t speak Italian.”
“Evie, look at me.”
When I didn’t, he lifted my chin. Concern furrowed his brows.
“I am crazy about my biker wife. I can’t tell you why, because there are too many things I admire about you. You’re talented, Evie. I don’t think you hear that enough, but you are. One day, I’ll be on the sidelines while you’re designing jewelry for celebrities, and I can’t wait for it. I like that you’re so compassionate, even when it’s inconvenient for me, because I know you’ll go easy on me when I screw up. I love that you want me for me. You’re perfect. I wouldn’t change a damned thing.”
Sunshine parted the clouds, his words chasing out the gloom. Perfect and talented. Coming from Tony, that was…huge. Not the I-love-you I needed, but close.
I love him so much.
My heart burst with sweet pain as Tony kissed my cheek. His mouth burned a trail down, pressing into my jaw, my chin, melting tension everywhere, and then he found my lips.
I clutched him tighter.
He was so insanely gorgeous that I caught myself leaning forward. His ruggedness was a vital power wetting my tongue. At first glance, indistinguishable from outlaws, but was making this city a better place.
A lump stuck in my throat.
Groaning, he licked the curve of my smile. Then he angled his head to deepen the kiss. My senses blazed as his soft lips caught mine with an unbearable tenderness.
Tony.
I rose on my tiptoes, hungry for more. Every stroke dragged me from the cliff and submerged me into a warm pool. Euphoria tingled my skin at his closeness, never so strong. I dug into his back. I needed more assurance.
I pulled away, eyes burning. “Tony, do you forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive.”
“I need you to say it.”
“Evie, I’m the opposite of a priest. I can’t offer you absolution.” Tony pushed me toward the bed, darkening. “But I can give you a hell of a distraction.”
The mattress hit my knees.
I sank, dizzy.
Tony climbed in after me. His body settled beside mine. We kissed, his fingers teasing my shirt over my body.
My breasts tumbled free, and he let out an appreciative groan. He dragged the shirt up my arms, stopping short of freeing my wrists. Then he scooped one globe, thumb playing with the nipple while his grip tightened on my imprisoned hands. He kissed my neck, his mouth tracing a sinful path to the aching points demanding his attention. He lowered his head, licking. He laved them in velvet-heat, circling, sliding, flicking, each stroke more frenzied than the last. He suckled gently, forcing a tortured moan from my lips.
Tony released my bound hands. He played with the sensitive skin on my wrist before skimming my arm. Goosebumps rose where he touched me. An eager shiver trembled my belly when he splayed his hand over my stomach, groping his way to my hip. He glided under my pajama pants and yanked them down.
Cool air touched my pussy before his palm cupped my mound. He teased my clit. A tremor worked its way up my thigh. He delved inside, not quite penetrating, but gathering my wetness. He drew away, sucking his shining knuckles before finding the tight bundle of nerves between my legs. He pressed my clit, rubbing in gentle circles, the electricity creating a lightning storm.
The intense bolt of pleasure derailed my thoughts. He slid his thumb up and down my pussy, stroking me into a frenzy, loosening my tense muscles. Tony showed no signs of relenting. His stare drilled into me.
He sat up and unbuckled his slacks, shedding his clothes in seconds before the tanned, sculpted god climbed over me. He flipped me over and hauled me to my knees. His erection jabbed my backside. I bent over the bed, submitting to the hand on my back. He grabbed my thighs with both hands and pushed, widening my hips. I braced for his cock.
I wanted him to rut me.
I needed the pain.
His hair brushed my skin, and then heat engulfed my pussy. He swirled and sucked, leaving no part of me neglected by his tongue. I tightened as a quiver shot up my legs. Tony’s firm slap landed on my cheek, but I couldn’t stop squeezing. His mouth on me dissolved all rational thought. I screamed, eyes shut, praying for release.
“I told myself I’d act like a gentleman. You’re making that difficult.”
“A gentleman can’t fuck me the way I need.”
Tony lazily slapped my ass. “Which is?”
“Your cum inside me.”
My cheeks burned, but Tony didn’t run away. He licked along my seam, diving into my wetness again.
“I want it.”
He purred. “Where do you want it, baby?”
“Where your mouth is.”
“I see. Well, you’ll have to beg harder than that.”
Then he went back to it, holding me still. I couldn’t utter a word. I moaned at being tongue-fucked by such a powerful man. He applied pressure on my clit. Ecstasy flashed like a thunderclap, blinding and strong, and then gone in an instant.
Because he’d left me.
I whined as he backed away, the building crescendo screaming for its climax.
He flipped me onto my back. He lifted my leg over his trunk-like thigh and fitted his cock to my entrance. He seized my hair, releasing a feral growl.
Then he shoved.
He sighed with relief as he anchored himself, filling me. I bit my lip as my walls strained to accommodate him. He withdrew and rammed me with his greedy cock again. Then he fucked me with the force I’d craved.
I whimpered from his brutal thrusts, but Tony made no sound. His forehead touched mine, his gaze boring into me with an unspoken promise: I belonged to him. He would protect me at whatever cost.
He jerked his erection back and forth with a mad frenzy, just like the night he’d taken my virginity. The sight of me helpless seemed to spark the deviant in him, the savage that took without asking and somehow fucked the pain away. I needed this. Needed him.
I loved him so much it scared me.
Tony plastered his chest to mine, his mouth seeking my neck. Blasts of air scorched my skin as he panted, rolling his hips. “I can’t control myself when you look at me like that,” he whispered, his voice rumbling through my body. “You’re so fucking pure. It gets me so hard. It makes me want to dirty you up and come inside you, even though I know I shouldn’t.”
“I want it, Tony. I really…I need it.”
“Beg for it.”
“Please, Tony. I’ll be good. I’ll do anything.”
“Hmm. Still not convinced.”
“Give me your fucking cum!”
He stopped mid-thrust, glaring. “What was that?”
“Please give me your cum, sir.”
Tony pounded me roughly. When I screamed with my orgasm, he reached his climax. My walls contracted around his cock as he buried himself, holding me tight.
A warm jet blasted, in tandem with his thrusts. I glowed. Aching. Gloriously wet. Tony collapsed. I grinned. He smiled and pulled me into his chest, tucking my head under his chin. His hand sought mine, intertwining with my fingers as he held it over his heart.
It was the most intimate we’ve ever been. I lay on my back, exposed, vulnerable, but he clutched me like I was his only means of survival. His grip made my knuckles ache but his eyes closed in lazy contentment. He broke the kiss, sighing.
I smoothed the cowlick teasing his forehead and kissed his stubbled cheek. He let me, lying there like a contented housecat. My heart squeezed as he gripped me harder.
He was such a complicated man, but I was beginning to understand him. I loved his flaws. I loved him. And I wanted him to be with me every day because when he was, I felt cherished and beautiful. Like I could conquer anything.
Passion rose inside me like a flame, clouding my brain, and then it b
urst out of me.
“Tony, I love you.”
His eyes opened to half slits and he stared. He didn’t react. He seemed to hold his breath. He glared at me as though waiting for me to admit it was a joke.
“I love you.”
His body stilled, and his expression sobered.
My pulse raced. Seconds ticked by, his silence deafening. “I said I love you. I fucking love—”
Tony slammed his mouth into mine, shutting me up. Then he flipped me onto my stomach and forced me to my knees. He entered me with a painful thrust, startling me. His hands ground into my hair and he ripped my head back. My scalp stung as he traced my lips, easing his finger inside.
“Say it again,” he ordered.
“I love you.”
He introduced a second digit. “Again.”
I repeated it, the sound muffled.
He slapped my cheek, the smack tingling my nipples with arousal.
“Again.”
“I love you.”
His hand slipped around my throat. He held it loosely, pounding me until my knees shook, and I collapsed on the bed.
I inhaled, the air trapped by his fingers. My eyelids flitted from the lack of oxygen, the act burning my body instead of filling it with fear. I loved him. I trusted him. Blackness teased the edge of my vision as he fucked me, and then his hand left my mouth.
I shattered.
I floated on clouds, coming so hard my breath came in agonized gasps, and then I cried into the sheets. Tony bit my shoulder as he climaxed. We were two broken halves, trying to make ourselves whole, and God, it felt so good.
He held me tight as he whispered,
“I love you, too.”
Twenty-Eight
Tony
1 1/2 oz vodka
1/2 oz lime juice
1/2 cup ginger beer
Garnish: lime wedge
We all have a monster inside us.
He hates us. Conspires against us. Sabotages our relationships. Destroys our dreams. Mine filled my head with doubt.
You can’t afford love.
You’ll die before you meet your firstborn.
That voice held me hostage. It always dragged me deeper into the well the moment I’d almost clawed myself out. I couldn’t count how many times I’d relapsed because why prolong the agony? I would do it anyway. I wouldn’t be a good father, but when she confessed her feelings after everything I’d done to her, I wished we could have a family.
Two kids. A dog. A house away from the city on a wooded property. My own little slice of heaven. The fantasy spun into images that tortured me for days. I pictured taking my kid to the cabin in the White Mountains, where my father and I had gone for hunting trips. I’d even fantasized about Evie’s pregnancy. What it would be like to fuck her while her belly swelled.
Then reality kicked in my teeth.
Everybody in Boston wanted to kill me.
Even my cousin dodged my calls. Not a good sign. So I made my moves faster than he could keep up with. I met with street bosses of other gangs. I paid them to fuck up any douche bag on a bike. Knox’s media contacts helped me deflect attention from the Family, but that did nothing for my relationship with Vinn.
So I stalked him.
We were long overdue for a chat.
The first hot weekend packed Salisbury Beach with families. Sunshine bleached the ribbons of kelp lying on the sand. I weaved through couples sitting under brightly colored umbrellas, the air thick with a salted scent I loathed. College kids played strikeball. R&B beats pounded from a speaker wedged in the ground. People clinked beer bottles, laughed, and enjoyed themselves, and I floated among them like a joyless ghost.
I hated the beach.
I didn’t always. I used to love sunbathing and swimming through the waves, but that required taking off my shirt, which would lead to shocked gasps and staring. It meant being assaulted by vivid flashbacks. Bodies in the water. Floating hair.
I scanned beachgoers until my gaze fell on a man’s olive-skinned back. Vinn sat on a towel, soaking in the sunlight like a bronzed statue. His wife, Liana, lounged on a chair with their six-month-old, Christopher. Joshua, their firstborn, wore a sun bonnet. He tipped a plastic bucket of sand over Vinn’s shorts. An unfazed Vinn refilled it.
I marveled at this domestic side of him. I wasn’t lying when I said I still saw him as an innocent kid—the reason I couldn’t bring myself to kill him.
“Hey, Vinny.”
I parked my ass on his towel and stretched out my legs. Then I smiled and waved at his wife.
Vinn bristled, but Liana perked up.
“Anthony! It’s good to see you. Vinny didn’t mention you were coming.”
“That’s ’cause I didn’t tell him. I apologize for dropping in. It’s just so hard to get ahold of Vinny these days.” I grinned at the pint-sized version of Vinn, who offered me the shovel. “Cute kid.”
Vinn scooped up his baby and signaled his guards, two sunbathing soldiers who’d let me approach Vinn. They stomped over, spraying me with sand.
Liana shot him a disapproving glare. “Is that necessary?”
“Yeah, Vinny. We’re supposed to be a family. I thought we could avoid an ugly scene in front of the missus and the children. Or I could scream about Costa business to the whole crowd. I’ve done worse.”
Vinn sighed. “I stop taking your calls, so you ambush me?”
“It’s called strategy.”
“It’ll get your head caved in.”
“Unless you want your kids’ first memory to be my corpse, I wouldn’t.”
“I’m giving you ten seconds to fuck off,” he thundered, pointing down the beach. “I figured you’d relapse and do something stupid, but bribing my men to shoot up a bar?”
I shrugged. “You should be more worried that they’re so easily swayed.”
He seized my shirt collar and jerked me forward. “You undermine me again, I’ll kill you.”
I fought a juvenile urge to throw sand at him. “You made me marry her. You said she was my responsibility. Well, guess what? She was trafficked. Those biker assholes you want me to sing kumbaya with did that to her. You can judge me for retaliating, but you would’ve done the same if it were your wife.”
I yanked his hand from my throat.
His marble-like features hardened. His mouth thinned as he turned away from Liana, whispering. “Tell me about the three bikers in Chelsea.”
“They were holding out on me. I did what I had to.” I didn’t like the way he looked at me. “What, you’re going to lecture me?”
“Anthony, you’re with her because I wanted you distracted. I know you’re troubled. It was a matter of time before you did something insane and got yourself killed. I figured the girl would keep you busy until I handled things.” Vinn ripped off his sunglasses and massaged his temples. “And then you did it anyway.”
“What do you mean handled things?”
Hesitation narrowed his hawklike eyes. “You’re not the only one who’s suffered at the hands of Legion. I wanted to pay the bastards back for what they did to us, and I needed you occupied.”
A pounding grew in my ears.
“For what?”
“To take them down,” he said, stunning me. “The national president isn’t happy with the Boston chapter. Jett isn’t the brightest bulb. He mismanaged the club’s money, and he’s desperate for cash. I convinced him we’d help with distribution. He’d been giving me unfettered access to everything until you screwed it up.”
My vision clouded as I stared at Vinn, wondering if the bikers were savants for naming him Goliath.
Big, dumb idiot.
“You forced me to marry some chick for an alliance you never intended on keeping?” I leaned forward, gaping at him. “And it didn’t cross your thick skull to tell me any of this?”
“You’re not reliable, Anthony.”
Once a junkie, always a junkie.
That raked coals over my face. “I can’t beli
eve I married her based on your whim.”
“I was sick of you lording your power over me. Worst case, you settle down. If you divorce the girl, I get control of the Family’s assets. Either way, I win.”
Vinn replaced his sunglasses, wearing a smile so smug it begged for a punch. If his wife weren’t behind him, I would’ve socked him in his lying mouth. Proving the fucker wrong played into his hands, as did taking the high road.
“Or I take you to court, sue you, and rip that stupid fucking prenup into a thousand pieces.”
“You won’t,” he deadpanned, his lips curving. “You like the girl too much. Go home. You’ll need my security if you want to stay alive.”
“So we’re good?”
“Yeah.”
I stood and plodded through sand.
A loud crack split the peaceful ocean air.
I threw myself to the ground, jaw slamming into a rock. A man in front of me screamed. Pockets of sand burst around me. Hysterical screams erupted with the hail of gunfire. I scrambled upright. Bodies smacked into me as people fled their blankets and chairs. Behind me, men in suits strolled down the bluffs. They aimed. Fired.
Vinn’s guards—dead.
I stared, rooted to the spot. Then my hands clenched and I sprinted, drawing their fire away from Vinn and his family. The beach offered zero cover. Forward was my only way out.
Nausea clenched my stomach as my knees crashed into cold water. I dove under a wave. The screaming and gunfire drowned out, I swam hard. The bullets had no chance of harming me as long as I stayed underwater. I poked my head above, sucking a lungful of air. I swam until I’d exhausted myself. Then I treaded water as the sun beat on my face.
I had few options. Eventually, I’d have to return to shore. It was a golden strip in the distance. Scattered umbrellas and beach towels littered the sand, but everyone had gone. The shooting must’ve been reported by now. Police had probably evacuated the area, but if these were traffickers, that wouldn’t stop them.
If I were them I’d wait me out.
Jesus Christ. Now what?
“Bro, you need help?”
I whirled, facing a giant wall of a boat. I kicked onto my back as a group of shocked college kids clutching beer bottles gaped at me.
Monster: A Dark Arranged Marriage Romance Page 22
