by Nia Arthurs
Normally, I never think too much about what a woman goes through after I’m done with her. My boundaries are always clear. It’s always just for one night. One fling. One dirty little tryst.
Doing my best to put boundaries in place is supposed to protect us both. It’s also meant to scrape my conscience clean because I’ve never presented myself as that guy.
The one who’ll settle down.
The one who’ll stick with one woman.
The guy someone like Clark would entertain.
Rather than fight her on this, I should join her in denouncing any sort of relationship. I should promise her that I’ll never mention the kiss or my burgeoning feelings again.
She’s not my type.
Clark would demand we define the relationship. She’d expect a level of commitment I’ve never offered anyone in my life.
It’s enough of a reason to jump ship.
But I can’t.
I shake my head. “Like I said, don’t expect me to apologize back.”
“Then don’t.” She arches an eyebrow. “But don’t look at me like that either.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’ll plaster me against your car and kiss my socks off again.”
“Clark, you’re overthinking.”
“That’s who I am.”
“Try something new.” I press harder on the gas.
“I don’t want things to get awkward, Mave. The bakery’s the only place I can get my hours in time for Christmas. It means a lot to me. I can’t stop because of this. I won’t.”
A giant sigh leaks from my chest. “What do you want from me, Clark?”
“A time machine?” She huffs. “So I can go back and tackle myself before I kissed you.”
I chuckle. “Are you usually this honest?”
“No.” She relaxes her fingers. “But you seem to bring that out in me.”
“I’m glad.”
Her smile is small, but at least it’s there.
Watching her, I realize I’d do anything to keep that smile on her face. Even if it takes everything from me. “Fine. I’ll step back.”
“Really?” She brightens.
“I’ll try.”
Her grin drops. “You don’t sound too confident.”
“That’s because I’m not.” I slow down at a red light.
“Turn left after this,” she says quietly.
“How far is your place from here?”
“Not far.”
The answer disappoints me.
I’m not ready to let her go.
Tomorrow, we’ll go back to being professionals.
Tomorrow, Clark will pretend that this night never happened.
My fingers tighten on the steering wheel and I struggle to rein in my whirring thoughts.
This is for the best, Mave.
But why does the truth ring hollow?
I slow to a stop in front of a large apartment building. The moment the engine dies, Clark reaches for the door. “See you tomorrow.”
“Wait.”
She freezes. Glances over her shoulder with trepidation in her eyes.
Four words I’ve never uttered before come flying out of my mouth. “Can we be friends?”
Her eyes widen.
Mine shutter closed in a desperate wince.
I don’t mean that.
Friends?
With this sultry, gorgeous woman in front of me? With the woman who’s lips I drank from once and already want another taste of?
I’ve officially lost my mind.
“Do you really think that’s possible?”
“You going to jump on me again?” I tease.
Her eyes narrow and her back stiffens to a straight line just like I knew it would. “You wish.”
I do wish. “Let’s hang out tomorrow.”
“The bakery’s closed tomorrow.”
“I still need to clean out the office.”
She tilts her head. “I’m sleeping in until ten. It’s the only day I can do that.”
“I’ll pick you up at eleven. We can have brunch.”
“You’re taking me out to eat?”
“It’s not a date.”
She scrunches her nose. “It sounds like a date.”
“Clark.”
“What?”
“Have lunch with me.”
She sighs. “You don’t get told ‘no’ often, do you?”
I keep my gaze on her, waiting for the words I want to hear.
“Okay.” She climbs out of the car and says firmly, “It’s not a date.”
“Of course.”
But when I drive off, I throw a fist in the air and whoop in victory.
15
Clark
Falling asleep after the kiss with Mave is almost impossible, but my body’s trained to shut down the moment my head hits a pillow. I toss and turn for about one minute before I completely black out.
Unfortunately, sleep is no escape.
I dream of firm fingers pressing into my back. An expensive fragrance swirling around me. Eyes as dark as night penetrating my skull, seeing into my soul. Hair just the perfect kind of disheveled falling over dark eyebrows. Pink lips drawing closer to my face.
Closer.
Closer…
“Auntie Clark!” Girlish giggles chase away the embers of my dream. “Auntie Clark!”
I shoot up in the sofa bed. “What? Where’s the fire?”
Moe giggles as she kneels by my side, her tiny, white teeth flashing against dark gums. She’s wearing a Princess Jasmine nightgown and large fuzzy slippers. “Wake up.”
I blink sleepily at her. “Honey, you know Auntie has to sleep late on Sundays or she’s a grouchy bear.”
“You don’t look like a bear.” Her smile gets wider.
“Grr!” I claw my hands. “I’m going to eat you.”
“Auntie Clark, don’t eat me.”
“What am I supposed to eat instead?”
“Can you make your chocolate chip pancakes?”
“Let me think about it.” I stroke my chin and pretend to give it deep thought.
“Please, please, please?” Moe gives me the puppy dog face.
Even if I wanted to be annoyed, I can’t hold on to the irritation. Not with those big brown eyes and sweetly fluttering eyelashes.
“You’re just too cute.” I haul Moe into my body and tickle her side.
She kicks her feet, her high-pitched giggles catching the attention of Tanisha, who comes flying out of their bedroom.
Tan flings herself at me, her thick twists flailing. She’s wearing a nightgown similar to her sister except hers is boasting a very frosty Queen Elsa.
“Oof!” I grunt as Tan’s weight crashes against my stomach.
More laughter careens into the morning air.
It’s warm and full and makes my heart sing.
As we play, a door clicks open.
Maxine’s footsteps thud against the ground. “Girls, you know you shouldn’t bother your auntie on Sunday mornings.”
“It’s okay.” I ease my nieces off me and sit up.
Maxine stares at something just beyond my head, carefully avoiding my eyes. She offers a mumbled, “Morning.”
“Morning.” I bite down on my bottom lip, awkwardly digging my fingers into the blanket.
“Coffee?”
“No, I’m good. My head’s aching a bit.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” I tap my fingers on my leg.
The weight of our argument lingers between us, a big white elephant that we can’t seem to acknowledge.
Maxine’s gaze shifts to her kids. She hammers a hand on her hip. “Girls, why are you jumping on Auntie Clark like she’s a trampoline? You’re not little anymore. You’re going to break her back.”
“It’s okay.” I brush my baggy T-shirt down. “I don’t mind.”
“I explicitly told them to leave you alone. Whether you’re okay with it or not, I left very clear instructions
that you weren’t to be bothered this morning.” She gives her children a dark, you’re in so much trouble look.
Moe immediately ducks her head. “Sorry, mama.”
“Why don’t you girls help me by taking out the ingredients?” I rub Moe’s shoulder. “That would make it up to me.”
“Okay!” Tanisha is the first to dart off.
Moe is right on her heels.
“And maybe after, we can decorate the tree!” I call.
“Yay!”
“We’ve been putting that off for too long. It’s two weeks until Christmas,” Maxine says.
“It’s okay, we’ve both been busy.”
I stand and the blanket puddles from my body to the sofa bed. Moe and Tan chatter loudly in the kitchen. Their joyful and warm conversation punctuates how cold it is in the living room.
Maxine blinks rapidly. Her tone is quiet and dry. “You came home late.”
“You were still up?”
She nods. “I didn’t recognize the car that dropped you off.”
“It was… just a friend.” I wrap an arm around my elbow.
So much happened last night I wouldn’t even know where to begin. If my sister and I were good, I would tell her all about Mave and the kiss. But I can’t seem to find the footing I need to move back into her world. Or invite her to move into mine.
There’s a giant chasm between us.
I have no idea how we’re going to overcome it.
She clears her throat. “I’m glad you got in safely.”
“Thanks.” I lick my lips.
She nods again. Turns away.
“Max.” I reach for her.
She stops, her robe brushing dark calves and her jaw clenched.
I glance down. “I’m sorry for snapping at you yesterday. On the phone. It wasn’t necessary.”
“It’s okay. I understand where it’s coming from.” She rubs the back of her neck, her dark fingers bristling against the ends of her cornrows.
“How are you feeling this morning?”
“Good.”
“That’s good.”
We bob our heads awkwardly.
“Auntie! We’ve got everything!” Tan yells, blessedly rescuing me from this strained conversation.
I force a smile. “Coming.”
Before I can take a step, there’s a knock on the door.
Maxine’s head swerves in that direction.
Mine does too.
“Were you expecting someone?” she asks me, her thin eyebrows arched.
“No.” I check my watch. It’s seven in the morning. Mave isn’t supposed to pick me up for another couple hours.
Wait. Did he come early?
I squirm, my hands flying to my bonnet and patting down frantically. Has he ever seen a black girl in a bonnet before? Should I brush out my weave? Put makeup on?
The impulses scream rapid-fire through my head and, for a moment, I panic.
Then I stop.
Breathe in.
Mave is my boss and it really doesn’t matter if he sees me in a bonnet. I’m only tolerating him today because I already promised to help him with his office. After this, there won’t be any more personal interactions between us.
“Morning!” A deep voice rumbles from outside the door.
My eyebrows pool together. That doesn’t sound like Mave.
“Who is it?” Maxine calls, wearing a bewildered expression. Her baggy pajama pants flap together as she strides to the door.
“It’s Levonte.”
Something clatters to the ground.
I whirl around and see that Moe has dropped the measuring cups. An expression of pure bliss gleams from her dark face and she jumps down from the counter screaming, “Daddy!”
Tanisha chases her sister, her lips stretching so far across her face I’m afraid the grin will split her cheeks in half. Maxine opens the door and both little girls launch themselves into their father’s arms.
Levonte catches them easily, not even grunting as he hoists them up. Bulging biceps tell me that he can lift his daughters like this for another few years at least.
“Levonte,” Maxine’s voice goes hoarse with surprise, “what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to take my favorite girls out for breakfast.”
“What?” Maxine gasps.
“If that’s okay with you.” He levels his sultry brown eyes on her, and I see the moment my sister turns into a puddle of jello.
Maxine clutches her robe. “That’s… of course.”
“Great.” Levonte flashes a charming grin. Then his eyes divert to me and he nods. “Clark.”
“Levonte,” I say dully.
“Daddy, Auntie Clark was going to make us chocolate chip pancakes,” Tan informs him.
“Well, you’ll just have to settle for chocolate chip pancakes and bacon and chocolate-covered strawberries.”
“Really?” Moe shrieks as if he just promised her one million dollars-worth of dancing unicorns.
“I’m taking you to the fanciest buffet in the city, love.”
Maxine’s eyes nearly pop out of her head. “Levonte, can you…” She gives the girls a worried look and whispers, “can you afford that?”
“Don’t worry about me, Maxi.” He winks.
“I don’t know what to say.”
I do. I fold my arms over my chest. “Don’t you think you should have called first instead of just springing your presence on us?”
“Clark, don’t be rude,” Maxine hisses.
“What if we had other plans? He would have ruined them showing up unannounced.”
“He’s the girls’ father. He can show up whenever he wants to.”
I scowl in her direction so you’re just going to take up for him?
She curls her upper lip in a snarl I can do what I want.
Levonte just chuckles. “You’re free to join us, you know, Clark.”
“I’d rather eat chalk.” I frown.
“Stop it.” Maxine tugs on my sleeve and shakes her head. “Not in front of the girls, please.”
I glance at Moe and Tan’s faces. They look between me and their father, worried little creases pinching their eyebrows.
Realizing that I, at the very least, shouldn’t be snapping at Levonte in front of the kids, I back off.
Maxine turns to Levonte. “Thank you. That’s very generous of you.”
I restrain the eyeroll. Generous? He sweeps in once in a while to shower them in lavish gifts and then disappears for another few years. This isn’t something we should be applauding.
But I’ve already gotten my scolding from Maxine and I know better than to share even a shred of those thoughts.
“Why don’t you guys get ready? I’ll wait out here.”
“Okay!” Moe shrieks with glee and charges to her bedroom.
Tanisha saunters after her. “I want to wear my new dress!”
The bedroom door slams shut.
Maxine turns to me, a warning look in her dark brown eyes. “Don’t murder him while I’m gone.”
“No promises,” I mumble.
She frowns. “Clark…”
“I’m not going to stab your baby daddy, alright? Chill.”
She jerks her chin down once. “You should come with us.”
“Even if I wanted to—which I don’t—I have a meeting later today.”
“On a Sunday?” Levonte asks, seating himself on the sofa bed and making himself comfortable on top of the blankets. “Damn, girl. Don’t you take a break?”
“Was I talking to you?” I snap.
He chuckles. “You’re talking loud enough for me to hear.”
“Could you get off my blankets?” I storm over to him and haul on the sheets.
Unfortunately, I don’t expect him to get up when I yank on it. The fabric slides all the way across the sofa, and I stumble backward, almost crashing into the mantle.
Levonte laughs. “You okay, there?”
“Don’t pretend to care,” I grind
out.
“Just checking up on my future sister-in-law.”
“So you’re finally putting a ring on Maxine’s finger?”
“Maybe.”
“Just what a girl wants. A man who’ll maybe find it in his heart to commit to her after fathering three of her kids.”
Levonte laughs again.
With a quick, furtive look up, I notice that Maxine’s already retreated to her bedroom.
Thank God. She would have read me the riot act if she heard me snapping at Levonte.
I truly can’t stand the way she fawns all over him whenever he deems it right to show up in her life. One of the reasons Levonte acts like he’s God’s greatest gift to women is because Maxine treats him as such.
“Clark,” Levonte eases forward, his hands clasped together, “I know that I haven’t been around as much as I should have. That’s on me. Things haven’t been easy the last few years and I was trying to build myself up so I could stand proudly in front of my kids.”
I roll my eyes. “Are you saying you’ve changed?”
“I have.”
“Levonte, you asked me to front you cash a few days ago. Excuse me if I don’t believe that you’re the paragon of responsibility and good management.”
He licks his lips nervously. “I asked you for the cash because we’re family, Clark.”
“You are not my family,” I snap back.
“I’ll figure out my business problems on my own.” He shakes his head, hiding the irritation in his eyes behind a placid smile. “That’s my own fight and if you can’t help me with that, fair’s fair. But I’m fighting for my family. Maxine being pregnant made me realize that I need to be a better man than my pops was.”
“And this sudden realization came with baby number three?” I hoof a finger at the girls’ bedroom. “Not baby number one and two?”
“Sometimes, it takes a little while for a man to grow.”
“Talk is cheap, Levonte. You want to convince me, stick around this time. Don’t just show up out of the blues and disappear when the heat gets too much for you. Maxine‘s been through enough.”
“I’ll show you, Clark. I’m in it for the long haul.” He smiles confidently.
Moe and Tan’s bedroom door bursts open, and they sprint out, dressed in colorful, poofy gowns. They look absolutely adorable and, from the way they’re grinning at Levonte, they’re thrilled to have him around.
A part of me desperately wants to believe that what he’s saying is true. If I could keep those smiles on my nieces’ faces forever, I would do just about anything. But Levonte’s hurt them and my sister too many times for me to count.
