by Lexi Blake
But then there was the problem of Julian Lodge. How did a woman go from a blackmailer/drug-runner husband straight to a boss with possible mob connections? She’d made it out of the investigation into her husband’s practices smelling like a rose despite the fact that she’d placed many of the items that had caught the incriminating activities Bryce Hughes had used against her clients. And yet the feds had bought her “I didn’t know anything” story because she’d had a lawyer she shouldn’t have been able to afford.
Finn Taylor. Julian Lodge’s lawyer.
Appearances could be deceiving. He needed to get into The Club. And he definitely needed to know how Leo and Wolf Meyer were connected to Shelley McNamara. If they were involved in her scheme, then he would need some serious backup.
The sun went down while Kyle worked, and Holder wondered how he was going to kill not one but two former SEALs.
Chapter Six
Shelley stared at herself in the mirror. She didn’t hate the way she looked, though Wolf might have been nicer and given her some actual underwear. The miniskirt didn’t count. It barely covered her butt cheeks. God, was her cellulite hanging out?
She was too old for this. She couldn’t walk out into a club filled with young hot bodies. Why had she thought this could work? She’d been fine until she’d walked into the locker room and seen all the gorgeous, younger subs getting ready.
Any one of these women would probably look better with Wolf.
Was one of them getting ready to play with Leo? Would she be all right watching Leo sexually dominate another woman?
“You okay? You have that newbie, ‘am I going to survive this’ look.” A gorgeous amazon of a woman with strawberry blonde hair stepped up to the mirror and glossed her lips. “Did you meet this guy over the Internet? Did you answer his ‘Dom who’s definitely not a serial killer seeks submissive with no ties to the outer world’ ad?”
Oh, she was a sarcastic one. “No. I met him through a friend.”
“Is your friend a serial killer?”
“He’s Julian Lodge.”
A brilliant smile crossed the redhead’s lips. “Ah, definitely a killer, but the best kind. You’re safe then. If the Dom you’re meeting gives you hell, Julian will take care of him. Buck up, honey. This is all about fun.” She frowned. “Unless he’s an asshole who’s trying to seriously dominate you. Does he try to get you to clean shit you don’t want to? Because I draw a serious line there.”
From what she could tell Wolf was pretty neat. He didn’t look like he was a slob. “Uhm, I’m pretty much a clean freak.”
“Yeah, you need a military Dom. Let me tell you, they teach those boys right,” the woman said. “My husband can’t stand things being out of place, and a dirty kitchen is his nightmare. I’m going to start trying to convince him that if we ever have kids, they’ll be like the cleaning staff of our home.”
“He was a SEAL. But he’s out now. He didn’t want to be, though. I think he wanted the military to be his career.”
The woman obviously had an interesting marriage. All the D/s relationships she was acquainted with were fairly typical. There didn’t seem much particularly subby about this woman.
“Excellent. Then all you have to do is be super subby in the bedroom and make him understand that you are the CO of your house. It works for me and I’ve got the world’s hardest-ass sarcastic bastard as my Dom. He’s my husband, too.” She held out a hand. “Charlotte Taggart.”
“Shelley McNamara.” She shook the redhead’s hand. “And Wolf is kind of my training Dom, and by kind of I mean he is. My training Dom.”
Charlotte chuckled. “And you are one scared newbie. I haven’t met Wolf yet but I know his old CO. Eric thinks the world of him. My husband’s kind of upset with Julian because he stole Wolf right from under his fingers. I told him he should have hauled his hot ass to Colorado and talked to the guy, but Ian wanted to slow play it. I think he thought if he looked too eager, Wolf would have known he could get a lot of money out of him. Of course, once he realizes Wolf is linked to a submissive, he’ll say he was smarter than the rest of us and he always knew. He didn’t.”
She was confused. “Why does having a sub mean McKay-Taggart wouldn’t hire him?”
She knew enough to know the name Taggart and how it was connected to Julian. He’d mentioned that he liked pulling one over on his security team.
Charlotte leaned against the counter top. “Ian’s looking for man meat. We do a lot of investigations that require undercover work. He needs a couple of hot guys who can chat a woman up without freaking out that his wife is going to get pissed off. Because we do, even if it’s for work. He’s taken on a couple of new guys, but they don’t have the experience Wolf has. However, if he’s attached, Ian won’t send him in, so it’s for the best.”
She was kind of happy Wolf wouldn’t be globe-trotting. And definitely happy he wouldn’t be dealing with undercover investigations. That sounded dangerous. “Well, I hope he enjoys working for Julian. Julian’s a nice man. I’ve had fun with the redesign on the penthouse. I’m going to work on The Club soon.”
Charlotte’s eyes widened. “You’re the designer?”
Shelley nodded.
“The one whose asshole ex used her designs to hide cameras in high-profile politicians’ offices so he could blackmail them?”
Shit. Maybe she should have kept her mouth shut. “That’s me.”
Charlotte practically vibrated. “Oh, my god. I saw some of those designs and they are stunning. Please, you have to help design New Sanctum. If Ian has his way, it will be a concrete floor, a bar he picked up at a garage sale, and stunningly beautiful bondage equipment. That’s what he’ll spend all his money on. I’ll have the most gorgeous spanking bench and the lounge will be folding chairs. Mama needs some luxury.”
Had she just gotten another job? “I heard something happened with your club. Did it actually blow up?”
“Yes, in spectacular fashion,” she agreed. “A sleeper agent with a vendetta against one of our employees drove a bomb into the place. Took out about half of it. Ian was pissed off because it disturbed his lunch. I’m okay with it because Old Sanctum wasn’t what I would call luxurious.”
Wow, she was really happy Wolf wasn’t working there now. “I would love to help out. Though I should warn you, I’m new to this.”
She shook her head. “But you’re not new to gorgeous things. You’re not new to taking a space and making it both functional and comfortable.” Charlotte’s eyes narrowed. “Is that why you’re standing here looking at yourself like you should run the other way? I was joking about the newbie thing. It’s an awesome thing to be. Everything is new. You get to experience it all for the first time.”
“It’s also uncertain.”
“What’s life without a little uncertainty?” Charlotte grinned and looked impish despite the fact that she was a gorgeous amazon of a woman. “What scares you about this? I’m going to give you a big old hint. If you say something like I’m worried I’m not pretty enough or too old, you’ve gone the wrong way.”
“I’m allowed to have my insecurities.”
Blue eyes rolled. “I’m too tall. I weigh too much. My boobs sag when they’re not hoisted up by a way-too-tight corset. But you know what? I’m enough. None of this is going to work if you can’t figure that out. I read about you. You came out of a pretty bad marriage and you’re here. You are allowed to have your insecurities, but don’t make them a security blanket. I should know. I did my time in that particular cage. Come out. The world is way more awesome when you aren’t locked in.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” Shelley shot back.
“No, it’s not and it never was.” Charlotte stood up to her full height and checked herself in the mirror again. “But I get it. It’s hard when you’re in the cage to see that there’s a cage at all.” She smoothed over her corset, adjusting it slightly. “Let me know if you’re interested in the Sanctum job.”
She wince
d. “I am. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a bitch.”
Charlotte grinned. “That wasn’t bitchy. That was what I like to call being un-self-aware and bratty about it. It’s cool. I can handle it. Have fun tonight and try to get out of your head. From what I hear Master Wolf is hot as hell.”
“That’s part of the problem.”
“Having a hot guy is part of the problem?”
“I don’t know that I’m in the same league.”
She nodded as though immediately understanding the issue. “We’re back to the cage again. Okay, have you spent any time at all with this guy?”
“I’ve talked to him a lot.” She flushed, remembering how they’d spent the afternoon. “And we played.”
“I’m going to ask you a very invasive question because I have no filter at all. What did his dick do?”
A laugh escaped because she thought it might be fun to be this woman’s friend. “It got hard. I got naked. Well, my bottom was and he spanked me and he got hard.”
Charlotte pointed her way like her argument had been made. “Dicks don’t lie.” She frowned. “Well, dicks totally lie. A lot. But penises do not, Shelley. Trust your Dom. He’s going to think you’re hot as hell. Now I’m going to find mine and enjoy a particularly nice evening. The lounge here is like heaven. Plush carpet helps when you spend a bunch of time on your knees. Make note of that.”
“Carpet in the lounge area. Got it.” She might have a job. A huge job.
Charlotte gave her a thumbs-up and then she was gone.
And Shelley was left alone with that image of herself in the mirror.
Maybe it was time to open the cage door and see what it looked like on the outside.
* * * *
“Are you sure I have to wear this? I’m not wild about leather.” Logan Green shifted uncomfortably, his tall body moving in a graceless manner. For once his face wasn’t tight, but instead Leo could see the kid Logan Green really was.
“You’ll get used to them.” Leo himself had spent so much time in leathers he often thought of them as his second skin.
He looked out over the dungeon floor wondering if Wolf would bring Shelley here on their first training night or if he would keep her to the playroom section of The Club. If he knew Wolf, she would be here, and Leo would have to see her in fet wear.
“So when do I start spanking girls? That one looks like a bad girl. Yeah, she’s probably done something exceptionally naughty.” There was a healthy leer in Logan’s voice as he zeroed in on the object of his desire.
Well, at least he didn’t have to deal with the kid’s inhibitions. As far as Leo could tell, Logan didn’t have any. When they’d gotten dressed in The Club’s expansive locker room, Logan had shed his clothes without batting an eye and walked around naked for a while, as though he actually preferred to be without the encumbrance. Logan had sat his naked ass down on a towel and started asking him all kinds of questions.
He hadn’t been able to miss the scars on the deputy’s body. There were rough scars where someone had used a knife on him and neat, surgical scars left over from the operation that had saved his life. But they all formed a road map of the trauma that should have Logan twitching in his boots.
“You aren’t even close to spanking girls. There’s a training process involved. It doesn’t consist of throwing you out there with a paddle and whip. Tell me something. You seem comfortable here. The idea of these people being tied down doesn’t bring back bad memories?” He’d rather expected Logan would have a bad reaction to the dungeon.
Logan shrugged. “Nah. I’m cool with it. I’ve hung out with enough pervs to be okay with a little kink.”
Yes, the deputy seemed perfectly comfortable, but if he wasn’t bothered by anything, then why was he here?
“Are you sure I can’t spank her? Maybe I’ll let her spank me.” Logan watched as a lovely blonde made her way through the crowd. She was full figured and definitely older than the young man.
But he certainly wouldn’t call Janine a cougar. Leo smiled as his ex-wife made her way toward them. She was bigger than she’d been when he’d married her, three children in six years having taken a bit of a toll on her figure, but she glowed with happiness. She was beautiful. He understood why Logan would want a piece of that.
But the fact that the deputy was still joking about spanking after what he’d been through made Leo suspicious. Logan Green put up a great wall. It was Leo’s job to bring it down.
Logan straightened his spine, his chest puffing out a bit. “Hey, Doc, she’s coming my way.”
“She’s coming my way, but I like the positive attitude. Logan, meet Janine, my ex-wife.”
“Oh, I’m so much more than that, darling.” Janine smiled and held both hands out. Leo gave her what she wanted, drawing her into a hug. He’d married Janine straight out of college, before she went to med school and he began working on his PhD. They had lived in this very club, working their way through school thanks to the largesse of Julian Lodge. “I’m his past. The one who won’t go away.”
“I don’t want you to go away, dear.” He took her hand in his. He wasn’t looking forward to this conversation, but he needed it. He sent Logan an authoritative glare. “Stay here. Don’t get into trouble.”
He led Janine to the hallway where the stairs began that led up to the playroom.
“Damn, this must be serious. Is Wolf all right? Did the Navy damage him? Does he need help?”
Even years later, Janine still cared about Wolf. His brother made an impression. “I want to know if I was a good husband.”
Her eyes widened. Her hand tightened on his. “Oh, sweetie, what’s going on?”
“Wolf showed up today and I was kind of a dick, and he made me question a few things.” Leo ran a hand across his head, pushing his hair back. “I started to think that maybe I haven’t been the best brother.”
Concern showed in her eyes. “What did he say?”
“He said something about me being harder on the people close to me than I am on people who don’t mean as much. Like I sacrifice my relationships for my patients because it’s easier to sink myself into them.”
“Smart man,” she replied. “Wolf always claimed he didn’t have a brain in his gorgeous head, but he was emotionally intelligent.”
Leo felt his eyes roll. “He’s not that gorgeous.”
Janine’s lips curved up. “Oh, baby brother is one hot hunk of man, but he’s also right. Do you really want the truth? As your ex-wife and a psychiatrist?”
No. He didn’t want either. He wanted her to tell him that he’d been perfect and it was all her fault that she’d fallen in love with another man. But he knew deep down that was wrong. “Give it to me, Janine. Come on. Haven’t you waited years for me to ask you for your professional opinion?”
Two shrinks should never marry each other. They never stopped the psychoanalyzing long enough to have a relationship. Yet, when he’d gone into the marriage, he’d gone in with his eyes open. He’d been pretty sure it would fail.
Janine turned her blue eyes up, and that piercing intelligence pinned him. “You’re right. You always have paid more attention to your patients than your personal life. You do it for the same reason you greatly prefer to flirt with unavailable women. You have a deep-seated fear of responsibility.”
“I sure as fuck don’t,” he shot back. He hadn’t been prepared for that. He’d been ready to listen to her talk about his commitment issues, but no one ever claimed he didn’t take responsibility. He preached it.
She shrugged, not at all upset by his hostility. “You do, Leo. Oh, you’re committed to your patients, but that’s a professional thing. It doesn’t involve your heart and soul. It’s an intellectual exercise that brings you pleasure. You enjoy fixing people, and when you’ve fixed them, you move on to the next damaged soul. But here’s what you don’t understand. Your brand of therapy is very personal for patients. You make them your friends. They come to trust you and love you, and when you�
��re done, you move on.”
Fuck. Had he really done that? He didn’t take on many patients, but now that he thought about it, he hadn’t talked to Trev in months. He’d been Trev McNamara’s rock for three years, and he’d not once called to see how the man was. Leo was working with Ian Taggart. Oh, they mostly shot hoops and talked about Charlotte Taggart’s issues. Janine ran a women’s support group for victims of abuse. Leo helped the men in their lives support and understand them.
Tag wasn’t a patient. He was a friend Leo counseled. So why hadn’t he gone to dinner with the man when he’d invited him? Big Tag had wanted to show off his brother’s new restaurant, but Leo had held back, giving him some bullshit excuse.
“Julian misses you.”
Leo stared down at her. “I haven’t left Julian. I’m right where I’ve been for ten years.”
She shook her head. “No, you’re not. I had lunch with him the other day. I asked about you, and we talked. He misses his friend. Before he got married, you spent time with him. Now you’ve waved a wand and declared him fixed and moved on to the next person who needs attention, but Julian misses you. He finally gets the lesson about how to truly care about the people around him and you’ve moved on.”
He hadn’t meant to. It had simply been easier to do his job. Julian hadn’t needed him anymore. Except maybe he had and Leo was too self-absorbed to see it. “Why did you leave me?”
Her smile turned sad. “Because you fixed me, too. You took a woman who had been abused and helped turn me into a fully functional human being capable of great love. But I wanted to be loved, too. I wanted someone to be passionate about me, and that was never going to be you. I’m not sure why you married me. Maybe because it seemed like the only way to gain my trust and set me free, but I had to repay the favor. You think I left you for another man, but he was a convenient excuse. I needed to let you go or you would have gone on the way you were going. The only true passions in your life would have been intellectual.”
